Cult Flops - Burlesque (2010)

Sony/Columbia, 2010

Starring Christine Aguilera, Cher, Eric Dane, and Stanley Tucci

Directed by Steven Antin

Music and Lyrics by various

Evidently, some important lessons were not learned from the failure of Glitter. Director/writer Steve Antin created this one back in 2002 after seeing Aguilera and other artists perform at the Roxy Theater nightclub in Hollywood. He fashioned this story for her, and later for Cher, after she decided this would likely be her last chance to sing in a major musical. Though it was better-received at the time than Glitter and didn't suffer from that film's production problems or universal pans, it wasn't a huge hit with critics or audiences, either. Why didn't it work? Let's begin as Alice "Ali" Rose (Aguilera) takes money from her abusive boss and heads to Los Angeles and find out...

The Story: Ali has dreamed of dancing professionally ever since she lost her mother at age 7. She has little success, until she stops in a burlesque club owned by singer Tess Scali (Cher) and flirts with the bartender Jack Miller (Cam Gigandet). He suggests she audition, but Tess isn't willing to give her the time of day, until she notices their waitress shortage and grabs a tray to help out. Ali eventually joins the chorus after one of the dancers reveals she's pregnant, then gets the star roles when lead dancer Nikki (Kristen Bell) is too drunk to go on. The jealous Nikki turns off the music they usually lip sync to, but Ali just sings in her own voice.

Despite Ali becoming the talk of the town, Tess is in serious financial trouble. Her ex-husband Vince (Peter Gallagher) wants to sell to developer Marcus Gerber (Dane), who wants to build an office tower. He claims he only owns the "air rights" over the club. Ali has been having her own problems. She was living with Jack while his fiancee Natalie (Dianna Agron) was doing a play in New York, but leaves when Natalie catches them in bed together. She ends up with Marcus, only to discover he has a lot more in mind for the burlesque theater than making use of its "air rights." She and Tess have to reveal the truth to the developer across the street (James Brolin) in order to save the theater and the song and dance they both love so much.

The Song and Dance: The song and dance...and some surprisingly strong performances...are the key here. Unlike weepy Carey, Aguilera is obviously having a blast. She's not the greatest actress by any means, but she manages to hold her own against the magnetic Cher and Tucci and even does decently in the dramatic scenes. Cher's even more fun as the older businesswoman who sees Ali as her last chance for fame and to save the club she loves. Tucci's hilarious as her gay partner, and Alan Cummings gets a few good lines as a dancer at the club. The brief, glittery costumes and the theater itself are just as important characters as the actual humans, especially as Ali rises to fame in the first half. The spangles, beads, and feather fans evoke the naughty world of the older Gypsy Rose Lee burlesques of the 30's and 40's, but the music and attitudes are decidedly modern.

The Numbers: We open with Ali's dream at the club and "Something's Got a Hold On Me." "My Drag" is the first of our chorus numbers. Cher performs "Welcome to Burlesque" after we get our first chorus number. "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" starts out with leather and studs as Nikki sings along to Marilyn Monroe's recording...but it turns into Ali's big number, complete with her own vocals. Nikki sings "Long John Blues" before she's ousted. 

Ali joins the chorus for "Nasty Naughty Boy" and auditions to the "Wagon Wheel Watusi." Madonna's "Ray of Light" is a chorus number for all of the girls. "Tough Lover" is Ali's rise to fame, while "But I'm a Good Girl" and "A Guy What Takes His Time" are 30's feather fan and barely-there-pearls stripteases. "Express" is heard near the end for Ali and the girls. Tess defiantly belts "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" when she's on the verge of losing her club. Ali laments that she's "Bound to You," then finishes the movie with the big finale to "Show Me How to Burlesque." 

What I Don't Like: It's too bad all of these glittering numbers and enjoyable performances are bound to one of the silliest and most cliched scripts I've ever seen. This story has been done endlessly since cinema found its voice in the late 20's, and Burlesque does nothing fresh or inventive with it. The whole thing with buying the air rights and Tucci's sexuality do add mild modern twists, but it's not enough to sustain a whole movie. 

There's also the problem of Gigandet's character. Jack is, frankly, a jerk, inviting one woman over while his fiancee was half-way across the country, then lying and telling Ali he was free when he wasn't. Ali does deal with it somewhat better than Billie dealt with her betrayal, but she still went back to the jerk in the end after he left his fiancee (supposedly) for good. Nikki's alcohol story is defeated by the cliches and Bell's overwrought performance. 

The Big Finale: I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed this one, cliches and all. If you're a fan of the leading ladies or love huge, flashy musicals and are willing to overlook or ignore the heavy cliche storm, you may end up having just as much fun at Tess's burlesque theater, too.

Home Media: Thankfully, this one is also a lot easier to find. The discs often turn up for under $5, and it's everywhere on streaming.

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Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - Glitter

Columbia/20th Century Fox, 2001

Starring Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Terrance Howard, and Eric Benet

Directed by Vondie Curtis-Hall

Music and Lyrics by Mariah Carey and others

This week, we dive into the recent past with two vehicles for major pop and R&B stars that are among the most reviled films of the early 21st century. By 1997, Mariah Carey was one of the most beloved singers on the planet. Most of her albums had gone platinum, her singles were among the most recognizable of the 90's, and she even had one of the biggest Christmas songs of the late 20th century in "All I Want for Christmas Is You." 

By 1997, Carey and her handlers felt she was ready for Hollywood. She wrote the songs for the movie before the project even got a green light. It didn't really get moving until 2000...and then proceeded to have so many problems with filming and editing, Carey had a mental breakdown. It's release was ultimately moved to 2001, two weeks after the attacks on September 11th, which didn't exactly help its chances. Across-the-board awful reviews did the rest. Is the movie really that bad, or does this diva deserve a chance at redemption? Let's begin with young Billie Frank (Isobel Gomes) and her mother Lilllian (Valarie Pettiford) as she calls her onstage to sing with her in a dive bar in the 70's and find out...

The Story: In 1983, years after being put in a foster care home, she and her best friends Louise (Da Brat) and Roxanne (Tia Texada) are spotted dancing in a local club by DJ and producer Julian "Dice" Black (Beesley). He's incensed that she's allowed her voice to be used by another singer. She just thinks it's work. He wants to be her producer, but she already has a contract with big-time producer Timothy Walker (Howard). She finally gets Timothy to let her go if Dice pays him $100,000.

Dice does sign her up with a major label, and they have a huge hit in the song "Loverboy," but their relationship is starting to unravel. He insists on controlling her image, and even throws out her two best friends when they get fed up with him. Billie learns he never paid Timothy that $100,000 either when he turns up and threatens her. She's had enough and walks out...but they can't forget each other. They even end up writing the same song. Alas, he's killed by Timothy before he can reconcile with her, leaving her reminding everyone at her concert that we should never take those we love for granted.

The Song and Dance: Honestly, Carey wasn't really that bad. At the least, knowing she was going through a divorce, a mental breakdown, and discovering she's bipolar at the time this was being filmed does explain a lot about her performance. Howard is the only other cast member who makes even a remote impression as the slick producer who never really let Billie - or her voice - go. There's some pretty spectacular costumes for Billie too, no matter how much Dice derides many of them as inappropriate.

The Numbers: We open with young Billie joining her mother in that dive bar for "Lillie's Blues." "Twister" introduces us to adult Billie and is the song they initially sing for Timothy as back-up singers. "If We" and "All My Life" take us to the nightclub where Billie meets Dice, with Sylk (Padma Lakshimi) seemingly performing the latter. Billie does a version of "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" for Dice, but her confetti-strewn video for "Loverboy" proves far more difficult. She wants to "Lead the Way" with her career at a big music awards show. Rafael (Benet) who is also interested in Billie, performs "We Could Have Been" for her. "Want You" is the song Billie writes with Rafael. "Never Too Far" is Dice and Billie's songs written at the same time with the same music and lyrics. She tries to reprise "Loverboy" at a concert, but breaks down and sings "Never Too Far" instead.

What I Don't Like: Hoooo boy. No wonder this became one of the most notorious flops of the early 2000's. Carey and Billie both deserved far better than this. No matter what the movie wants us to believe, Dice is a major jerk who tries to control not only Billie's career, but Billie herself. He treats her badly, even making a shady deal behind her back. Her dumping him near the end feels somewhat realistic and justified....but then she wants him back, to the point where they somehow manage to write identical songs? That's hard to swallow, even for a musical. The lighting is dreadful, with too many scenes lost in darkness, and the off-and-on editing is worse. None of the songs are remotely close to Carey's best (and weren't hits in real life). I honestly had no idea it was set in 1983, either. The costumes, the sets...they're all pure early 2000's. The music, even the 80's music, doesn't really sound like that era, either. 

The Big Finale: Though this has apparently begun to pick up a slightly better reputation of late, frankly, some mildly decent performances aren't enough to save this off-the-rails vanity project. Even the most devoted fans of Carey will want to stick to the soundtrack and avoid this mess.

Home Media: It was such a flop, it's not even easy to find today. The DVD is way out of print,  the Blu-Ray is available but not much cheaper, and it's not currently streaming. The only place you can currently find it online is in illegal streams on YouTube.

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Animation Celebration Saturday - The Smurfs (2025)

Paramount, 2025

Voices of James Corden, Rhianna, John Goodman, and Nick Offerman

Directed by Chris Miller

Music and Lyrics by various

I grew up watching The Smurfs. Those little blue people from Belgium were everywhere in the 80's, including an animated series on NBC that ran from 1981 to 1989. We had Smurf comics and Smurf dolls. There were linens and gift wrap and records. They've had mixed success in the US since then. The first live-action film in the US had the animated Smurfs ending up in the live-action world and helping a young couple. It wasn't popular with critics, but wound up being one of the biggest hits of 2011. Though a sequel and a subsequent all-animated film didn't do nearly as well, a hit cartoon from France revealed there was life in the franchise yet. Does this film reach the same heights, or is it more Smurf-bound? Let's begin at Smurf Village, as one little unnamed Smurf (Corden) tries to figure out where his real talents lay, and find out...

The Story: No-Name Smurf, who is new to Smurf Village, would give anything to have a talent like the other Smurfs. One afternoon, he wishes on a star for a talent of his own...and suddenly, he can shoot like and make anything appear. He shows off his newfound magical abilities at Smurf Village, only for them to attract evil sorcerer Razamel (JP Karliak) and his nerdy assistant Joel (Dan Levy). Joel creates a portal that allows them to capture Papa Smurf (Goodman). The remaining Smurfs, including No Name and lone female Smurf Smurfette (Rhianna) follow them to find Ken (Offerman), Papa Smurf's brother.

They end up in the real Paris, where they're found by the International Neighborhood Watch Smurfs. Moxie (Sandra Oh), Ken's daughter, brings them to him. Ken wants them to get to Razamel's castle as soon as possible, but it's not that easy. No Name tries to use his magic to transport them, only for a force field on Razamel's castle to send them into the Australian outback. They get help here from Mama Snooterpoots (Natasha Lynne) and her fluffy Snooterpoots. She tells them that the Intergalactic Evil Wizard Alliance intends to use four magical books, including Jaunty (Amy Sedaris), the one who gave No Name his magic, to strip the entire universe of its joy. It's up to Smurfette and No Name to join Gargamel (Karliak), rescue their friends, and reveal that the real magic comes when we use all of our talents together, no matter what they are.

The Animation: This is one of the film's highlights. For one thing, unlike the 2011 versions, the Smurfs actually resemble their counterparts from the comics and TV shows, with rounded heads and long, lanky bodies. The blending of live-action and animation is far more seamless, especially in the French disco as the Smurfs maneuver their way around the dancers and the glasses on the bar. That last sequence in the inter-dimensional portal is a stunner, with some incredible glittering effects animation. The alt-universes is where this really stands out. They have a ton of fun with animation from different eras, from genuinely good Gumby-esque clay stop-motion  to 8-bit sprites out of 1985. 

The Song and Dance: At the very least, this is a lot more fun than the Smurfs wandering around New York City, helping an obnoxious modern couple. Corden's very sweet as poor No Name, and Goodson is a wise and gentle Papa Smurf. Oh has so much fun as tough little Moxie, one wishes she and the Watch Smurfs were in more of the movie. Lynne's a riot as no-nonsense Mama Snooterpoots, too. Karliak is hilarious as both the more ambitious Razamel and Gargamel, who only cares about finally capturing those darn Smurfs. I also appreciate the Aesop that kindness is one of our greatest strengths, not a weakness. 

The Numbers: We open with "Everything Goes With Blue" over the opening credits as we're introduced to the Smurfs and their world. No Name laments that he's "Always On the Outside" while walking in the forest. "Up" takes the Smurfs into the real world. "Don't Stop the Music" is the big chorus number at the French disco, as the Smurfs navigate around all those stomping human feet. "Anyone" is Rhianna's big number as she encourages No Name to find his talent. She gets a second one later in the portal, "Friend of Mine." 

What I Don't Like: Um...what does all this have to do with the Smurfs? While it's a better story than the 2011 movie, it still doesn't have much to do with either the comics or the original show. We barely hear from any of the original Smurfs besides Papa and Smurfette. All of the added characters just make the story feel bloated; Joel in particular is a silly and annoying geek stereotype, and Jaunty is more shrill than funny. The songs are cute but not only not memorable, are mostly out-of-place R&B and dance tunes. 

The Big Finale: If you or your kids are fans of any animated versions of the Smurfs, this has enough good points to check out in the theater on a rainy or too-hot day. 

Home Media: Currently available for pre-order on Amazon, though there's no release date as yet.

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Gold Diggers In Paris

Warner Bros, 1938

Starring Rudy Vallee, Rosemary Lane, Allan Jenkins, and Hugh Herbert

Directed by Ray Enright

Music by Harry Warren; Lyrics by Al Dubin and Johnny Mercer

The Busby Berkeley extravaganzas continued pretty much through the rest of the 30's, but by 1938, they were starting to run their course. Most of the stars who appeared in them had left Warners or moved to other genres, and even Berkeley would be gone by 1940. This would be the last movie in the series Warners made with "Gold Diggers" in the title, and it's telling that, other than Hugh Herbert, it largely has a very different cast from the earlier entries. Warners was starting to dial back the budgets, too - there's only one huge number in this film, and it comes near the end. How does the story of showgirls who end up replacing a ballet company at a Paris dance festival look today? Let's begin with the men who run that festival, including the one charged with finding the entrant for the US, Maurice Giraud (Herbert), and find out...

The Story: Giraud is supposed to bring over the Academy Ballet of America, but he's accidentally brought to the failing Club Balle instead. Although the owners Terry Moore (Vallee) and Duke Dennis (Jenkins) realize there's been a mistake made, they accept the invitation anyway when they realize there's cash prizes involved. They hire ballet teacher Luis Leoni (Fritz Feld) and his student Kay Morrow (Lane) on the boat France to teach ballet to their dancers. Kay falls for Terry, but his ex-wife Mona (Gloria Dickson) is rooming with her.

Trouble is, the head of the actual Academy Ballet of America, Padrinsky (Curt Bois) has figured out by this point what's going on. He cables Giraud on the ship, but the ventriloquist (Mabel Todd) who has been trying to get her big break with Terry and Duke and her "talking dog" convinces him that it's Padrinksy who isn't telling the truth. Trouble is, Padrinsky is already on his way to Paris with his patron, gangster Mike Coogan (Edward Brophy). Duke relates to Coogan when they arrive that they've been having trouble with the representative of the festival, Pierre LeBrec (Mellville Cooper). Coogan agrees to "take care" of the problem, but he "takes care" of Leoni instead of LeBrec. Padrinksy wants the group to be deported, but Mona arranges the order so he and Coogan are shipped out instead...but Kay has found out Terry's deception and is now angry with him, and there's still the fact that the ladies have never really picked up ballet that well...

The Song and Dance: This wound up being a lot more charming than I thought. It's the ladies and the character actors who carry the day here. Lane and Dickson frankly play off each other better than the men. Dickson in particular does well as the ex-wife who does have a softer side. Jenkins and Coogan don't do badly playing up New York and gangster stereotypes, either, while Herbert is slightly less annoying as a Frenchman here than he was as a righteous moral crusader in Dames. There's also The Snicklefritz Band and their wacky numbers adding much-needed musical levity to the first half in particular. 

The Numbers: We open with the number at the Club Balle. "I Want to Go Back to Bali" is a romance in the tropics chorus routine with Vallee as a Navy officer among South Seas beauties. (It's also heard briefly in the finale.) The Snicklefritz Band get their own "Colonel Corn" at the club and "Listen to the Mockingbird" later in Paris. Vallee and Lane sing "Dreaming (All Night Long)" on-board ship and "A Stranger In Paree" in Paris. "The Latin Quarter" was the hit song and is the big number in the finale. We get all kinds of artistic types and Parisian stereotypes joining in, along with the return of the Navy uniforms from the first number. We even get everyone dancing under a huge Navy officer's hat at one point.

What I Don't Like: First of all, Vallee has all the charm of a dead fish when he's not singing. He's so dull, it makes you wonder what Kay or Mona see in him. (He would come off far better as a character actor and comedian from the later 40's through the 60's.) Second, it's obvious this one is a bit lower-budgeted than the earlier entries. Of the three big numbers, only the finale goes full-on Berkeley kaleidoscope. "Back to Bali" in particular is a dull chorus number that could appear in any film. The story is piffle and a bit annoying; of the songs, only "Latin Quarter" is even remotely distinguished.

The Big Finale: Mostly for major fans of Vallee or the big Berkeley musicals of the 30's. Everyone else is better off starting with 42nd Street or Gold Diggers of 1933 instead.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

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Amazon Prime

Dames

Warner Bros, 1934

Starring Dick Powell, Ruby Keeler, Joan Blondell, and Hugh Herbert

Directed by Ray Enright

Music by Harry Warren and others; Lyrics by Al Dubin and others

This week, we're diving into Busby Berkeley's signature kaleidoscope numbers in two of his lesser-known Warners films. Dames was a direct result of the massive success of Gold Diggers of 1933, 42nd Street, and Footlight Parade. Warners wanted more of the same and immediately put a lot of the actors from those three films at work on this one. Trouble was on the horizon, however. The new Production Code forbade scanty costumes and sexual ogling...and all of this is reflected in this movie. How does the lavish Berkeley sensibility mix with the story of an eccentric millionaire (Herbert) who is determined to raise morals and eliminate those he doesn't find upright, upstanding citizens...especially show business folk? Let's begin with Ezra Ounce and his principles and find out...

The Story: Ezra visits his cousin Matilda Hemingway (ZaSu Pitts) in New York City, which he considers the center of vice and immorality in the US. None of them are happy when they find out that Matilda's daughter Barbara (Keeler) is actually dancing in a show, or that she's in love with "black sheep" singer and songwriter Jimmy Higgens (Powell). Matilda's husband Horace (Guy Kibbee) ends up in trouble when he gives a showgirl named Mabel (Blondell) a ride home in his private train car. He's so terrified of scandal, he leaves her money and a note saying not to tell anyone...but Mabel uses his connections to her and to Barbara to blackmail him into backing their show.

The Song and Dance: The supporting cast definitely waltzes off with this one. Herbert's a supremely weird and enjoyable eccentric rich uncle, fluttery Pitts is hilarious as his stuffed-shirt sister, and Kibbee is all enjoyably flustered bluster as her husband whose kindness to a showgirl starts the trouble. We're still at the height of Berkeley's initial influence and popularity, too. One of the most famous songs from any of the Warners/Berkeley came from this film, and one of its most unique numbers. Berkeley's famous playing with the camera to turn showgirls into Ruby Keeler for "I Only Had Eyes for You" and girls in black and white frills tapping in formation for the camera in the title song.

The Numbers: "I Only Have Eyes for You" is the standard ballad here, and it gets not one, but two numbers worthy of it. The first, less lavish has Jimmy crooning the hit to Barbara on the ferry to Manhattan with other couples looking on. The second is far more elaborate. Powell dreams of every girl dancing in white frills looking like Keeler, with Keeler's face being held up by chorus girls. "Dames" shows said ladies sleeping, dressing, and showering before going into their ruffle-and-black stocking kaleidoscope tap dance for the camera. 

"The Girl at the Ironing Board" is more whimsical. Early 1900's laundress Mabel dances with laundry after wishing for more romantic love. It's funny and charming, and Blondell looks like she's having fun with it. "Try to See It My Way" is Barbara and Jimmy again, and there's the satirical "When You Were a Smile On Your Mother's Lips and a Twinkle In Your Daddy's Eyes."

What I Don't Like: Not one of the better Berkeley comedies. The story is silly and kind of annoying, even by the standards of 30's musicals. Keeler and Powell are fine, but they're not nearly as much fun as the hilarious supporting cast.The songs don't start until nearly 20 minutes in, and while they are good, there aren't that many of them. 

The Big Finale: The great numbers and supporting cast are fun for fans of Berkeley movies and 30's musicals, but casual viewers will likely want to start with 42nd Street or Gold Diggers of 1933 first. 

Home Media: The solo DVD is pricey, but it can be found on several Berkeley collections and on streaming.

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DVD - TCM Greatest Classic Film Collection: Busby Berkeley

Amazon Prime

Animation Celebration Saturday - The Prince and the Pauper (1995)

Golden Films, 1995

Voice of Elizabeth Daily

Directed by Diane Paloma Eskanzi and Hazel Morgan

Music and Lyrics by various

While most Disney imitators stuck to adapting whatever Disney was doing at the time, Golden Films occasionally branched out into other properties. Disney had done Prince and the Pauper twice, as a live-action TV movie in 1962 with Guy Williams and a Mickey Mouse half-hour special in 1990. Golden Films went back to the source and, at least during the first half, stuck a bit more to Mark Twain's original novella. The second half...well, let's head to merry old England and see how things are different in this version...

The Story: Tom Clancy (Daily) is a poor beggar boy living in London who pretends to be a prince with his friends. He'd much rather live in a fine home than deal with his abusive father, who forces him to beg. Prince Edward (Daily) wishes he could get out and live wild and free, away from the restrictions of royal living. The two meet when Edward sees Tom being abused and lets him in the castle. They realize how identical they are, and decide to switch places, just for fun. It stops being fun when Tom's father mistakes Edward for his son and drags him away. He's rescued by Miles Henderson, a far kinder thief than most of the men Edward encounters. It's he who helps the boy regain his throne when his father dies. Meanwhile, Edward gets lessons in royal deportment when magical objects show him how to be king.

The Animation: Par for the course with Golden Films, it's very limited. There's actually a rather lovely color palette, with bright reds, golds, and greens out of a Technicolor film, but the characters have the same pale blue eyes and no expression whatsoever, and the backgrounds have little detail.

The Song and Dance: Not the best Golden did, but far from the worst. At least they went with less-obvious subject matter. The boys and their antics are relatively funny, especially Edward's attempts to convince everyone he's king. Some of the songs, while not great, are catchy as well, notably the drinking number "Drink to the King."

The Numbers: We open and close with the title song, describing the story we're about to see and how "a pauper can be a prince." The boys sing the "so bad, it's adorable" "Let's Change Places" when they're about to do just that. The enchanted objects in the castle encourage Tom to "Do Like a Prince" when they try to teach him how to behave like royalty. Tom's father and the louts in the tavern "Drink To the King" when they taunt Edward over his father's death. 

What I Don't Like: The first half is a relatively straightforward adaptation of the book. The second half is where this gets weird. Did we really need the singing, talking royal jewels and objects? A servant would have worked just as well for the "Do Like a Prince" number. Other than one of them is important to the coronation in the finale, most of them are just kind of there. Tom's father disappears without explanation near the end, too, and never gets punished for treating his family so badly. 

The Big Finale: Young kids may enjoy this as filler for an hour on a summer's day. Everyone else can pretty much avoid it, unless they grew up renting the Golden movies on video in the 90's.

Home Media: The DVD for this one is relatively hard to find and expensive. You're better off streaming it; it can be found for free just about everywhere, including YouTube. 

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YouTube

Lucky Me

Warner Bros, 1954

Starring Doris Day, Robert Cummings, Phil Silvers, and Nancy Walker

Directed by Jack Donahue

Music by Sammy Fain; Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster

Our next vacation was anything but smooth sailing for Day. By 1954, she was suffering from panic attacks and delayed filming several times to rest. Even when she did resume filming, the panic attacks continued, making things difficult for everyone involved. On the upside, this would be the first musical film to make use of the new wide CinemaScope screen and featured a great cast that included later TV favorites Silvers, Walker, and Cummings. How well do they do with the rather strange story of a superstitious singer who falls for a songwriter and tries to help her troupe get in his show? Let's begin in Miami, as Candy Williams (Day) admits just how superstitious she is, and find out...

The Story: Candy and the members of the troupe she belongs to - Flo Needly (Walker), Hap Schneider (Silvers), and Duke McNeely (Eddie Foy Jr) - are stranded in Miami without a penny to their names after their show folds. They end up working off a huge dinner in a lavish hotel. Maid Flo sees songwriter Dick Carson (Cummings) working on songs for a new Broadway show and thinks they might be able to audition. Candy already met him. She thought he was an auto mechanic named Eddie, thanks to the name on the jalopy he was driving when he met her. 

She's furious when he does finally admit who he really is, thinking he was just trying to take advantage of her. The others do finally arrange to sing one of Dick's songs so Candy can audition for the show. It works, and though Candy is still skeptical, he does hire them...until Lorraine Thayer (Martha Hyer), the daughter of the show's backer Otis Thayer (Bill Goodwin), walks in and sees them together. She has her own interests in Dick and refuses to let her father back the show with Candy in it. Dick's ready to give up, but Candy and the others finally disguise themselves and enter Otis' birthday party to show him what he's missing if he doesn't give Dick and this shows a chance.

The Song and Dance: For all the trouble during filming, Day is honestly rather charming. She and the three comedians are most of the show and really do carry the day here. Silvers and Foy have their own fun as the conniving head of the group and the more elegant one, while Walker does her best with the material as the other female member. The costumes are lovely, too, with some attractive 50's gowns for Day and Walker and suits for the men. 

The Numbers: We open with Candy relating everything she worries about as she wrecks havoc in downtown Miami with "The Superstition Song." "High Hopes and Men" is Silvers and Day's number at the empty show downtown, with the two of them relating how they distrust the opposite sex. "I Speak to the Stars" was a hit at the time, and no wonder with this lovely production. Candy literally "speaks to the stars" as she dreams of singing the number in a silvery landscape, with glittering specs of stars over her. "Bluebells of Broadway" is the troupe's Scottish-themed audition number. The romantic "Take a Memo to the Moon" the ballad Lorraine catches Candy and Dick performing that convinces her Candy is a threat. Candy performs the title song in the end.

What I Don't Like: I'm afraid Day was right. No wonder she had panic attacks while filming this piffle. No amount of CinemaScope or pretty dresses can cover the fact that the story is utterly preposterous and annoyingly silly, even by musical standards. Cummings is more smarmy than charming, and despite some location filming in Miami, most of the movie is incredibly studio-bound. The songs are cute but nothing special as well. 

The Big Finale: Definitely not Day's best; recommended mostly for her fans or fans of the three comedians. 

Home Media: Can be found on DVD via the Warner Archives and streaming; the latter is currently on Tubi for free with commercials. 

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Tubi

Romance On the High Seas

Warner Bros, 1948

Starring Janis Paige, Don DeFore, Doris Day, and Jack Carson

Directed by Michael Curtiz

Music by Jules Styne; Lyrics by Sammy Cahn

This week, we go on vacation with Doris Day in her first movie, and one of her lesser-known ones. Day started off as a singer with several big bands during the mid-40's. She was called in by Curtiz to replace a pregnant Betty Hutton. Curtiz was so impressed with her emotional performance of "Embraceable You," he gave her a contract on the spot. Janis Paige was another last-minute addition and was technically the star, but it was Day who got the spotlight and the great songs. How well does she do with her first film, a complicated romantic comedy involving misunderstanding and fear of infidelity? Let's begin with the wedding of Elvira (Paige) and Michael (DeFore) Kent, which they spend suspecting each other of looking more at the wedding party than them, and find out...

The Story: Three years later, Elvira is setting up a cruise to Rio de Janeiro for their third anniversary. Michael canceled vacations for their previous anniversaries, supposedly to handle various deals. Elvira believes he's really having affairs at his office. She gives her tickets to singer Georgia Garrett (Day), who hangs around the travel agency dreaming of the vacations she can't afford, as long as she goes under her name. 

Georgia is delighted to do so at first, but then she falls for charming Peter Virgil (Carson). He's a private detective Michael hired to make sure Elvira wasn't having her own affairs on vacation. Not only does he really think Georgia is Elvira and he's having an affair with his client's wife, but Georgia's would-be boyfriend Oscar Farrar (Oscar Levant) turns up on-board looking for her. When Georgia gets a singing job onboard in Elvira's name, that finally brings Elvira and Michael to Rio to see this for themselves, too.

The Song and Dance: You can easily see why Day made such a big impression with both Curtiz and audiences. You'd never guess this was her first movie. She's just as ease in front of the camera as she is with a ballad and an uptempo dance number. Carson and Levant both play off her well as the private eye and nightclub owner who get caught up in the deception in spite of themselves. The gorgeous ballad "It's Magic" was a massive hit and remains associated with Day. Gorgeous production, too, including some really lovely gowns and hats for the ladies and attractive Technicolor cinematography in a romantically recreated Rio.

The Numbers: The Samba Kings get the title song over the credits. "It's You or No One" is Georgia's first number in the club. She sings the more uptempo ballad "I'm In Love" with the musicians on the ship. Avon Long sings about "The Tourist Trade" after the ship docks in Brazil. Georgia first sings  the standard "It's Magic" with Peter, and later reprises it on her own. Oscar shows off his piano skills with "Brazilian Rhapsody." Peter admonishes the Samba Kings to "Run, Run, Run" from women. Georgia's opinion on men is "Put 'Em In a Box, Tie 'Em With a Ribbon, an' Throw 'Em In the Deep Blue Sea," the other hit from this film. Georgia sings about how "She's a Latin from Manhattan" in the club near the end.

What I Don't Like: Paige and DeFore are the big problem here. Not only do they actually have less to play than the supporting cast, but their distrustful and obnoxious characters are so unlikable, you wonder how they ever got married in the first place. DeFore in particular comes off as more of an idiot than anything. In fact, the story can get both too silly and too convoluted at turns. By the end, you stop wondering what's going to happen and wish Georgia and Peter would give that spoiled, silly couple a good shaking.

The Big Finale: Even with the annoying story, there's enough good music here for Doris Day's first movie to be recommended to her fans and fans of smaller-scale 40's musicals.

Home Media: Easily found on all major formats. The Blu-Ray is from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Animation Celebration Saturday - The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning

Disney, 2008

Voices of Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Jim Cummings, and Sally Field

Directed by Peggy Holmes

Music and Lyrics by various

By 2008, Disney's series of direct-to-home-media "sequels" had entertained children for fourteen years..but they made a lot of other people less than happy. Most critics complained that the stories were rehashes, the animation was way under Disney's standards, and they were cheapening the brand. Indeed, this would be the last of those films made, and the last direct-to-home-media animated film that wasn't a Disney Fairies movie. The second Little Mermaid  had done well enough to warrant this "prequel." Is it an improvement on Return to the Sea, or should it be silenced? Let's begin with a younger King Neptune (Cummings), his wife Athena (Lorelei Hill Butters), and their daughters and the merfolk of Atlantica and find out...

The Story: After Athena is killed when a pirate ship crashes into the lagoon, Neptune banishes all music from Atlantica. Ten years later, his daughters live by a strict routine, kept up by the governess Marina Del Rey (Field). Marina really wants to take over the job of attache from Sebastian the Crab (Wright), Neptune's right-hand crustacean. Ariel is frustrated and bored with her father's rules and ends up following sweet little Flounder (Parker Goris) to an underground club, where Sebastian and fish and crustaceans have a band.

Delighted, Ariel brings her sisters to the club to let them enjoy music for the first time in their lives. Unfortunately, Marina catches them and spills the beans to Neptune. He destroys the club, arrests Sebastian and the band, and locks the sisters in the castle. Ariel runs away and frees the band, but she decides to go back after she finds a music box that belonged to her mother. She hopes to remind her father how much fun and happiness music brings, but Marina isn't about to give up her position with the king now and sends electric eels to kill Ariel and her friends.

The Animation: While this is a major step-up from Return to the Sea, it's still not at the level of the original Little Mermaid or what they were doing for the big screen in 2008. The colors are vibrant, the characters have fairly mobile expressions - even on the fish and crustaceans - and the backgrounds are far more detailed than in most of the direct-to-home-media movies.  

The Song and Dance: This actually wound up being rather sweet. At least it isn't a full-on rehash of Little Mermaid this time. My favorite character was by far Benjamin (Jeff Bennett), the gentle and lovable manatee who worked with Marina. He was drawn more like a character from Studio Ghilbi, with his big, soft body and tiny eyes, and was such a gentle dear, he almost seemed to come from another movie entirely. I also like that we finally get to know Ariel's sisters somewhat, or at least that they're a bit less interchangeable than they are in the other two films. Sebastian and especially Flounder have some great moments, notably when he's helping Ariel find the music box and Flounder saves everyone from the eels. 

The Numbers: We open with "Athena's Song (Endless Sky)" as Athena sings and plays with her husband and daughters in the lagoon. "Just One Mistake" is Marina's song. She initially sings it in the hope that Sebastian will drop his guard, and she'll be able to take over. Later, she reprises it after he's arrested and she's hired, to her delight. The standard "Jump In the Line" is the bouncy number for Sebastian and the band at the club. It's reprised by Ariel and the band after they flee the castle. Ariel performs the gentle ballad "I Remember" when she finds the music box and tries to recall all the things she did with her mother as a child. We also hear another Calypso standard, "Man Smart, Woman Smarter." 

What I Don't Like: Though better than Return to the Sea, this still isn't all that great. Not only does the story not align with what we see in The Little Mermaid, it doesn't make much sense. Neptune bans music just because his wife was killed by a pirate ship? His banning his daughters from the surface would make more sense. Field's Marina is more annoying than a real threat; Benjamin being a total sweetheart, too much to be hanging around with her, doesn't help there. The music is once again bland, including two Calypso interpolations that could have been done with original music.

The Big Finale: Mainly worth checking out for major fans of this franchise and little girls who can't get enough Little Mermaid and can handle some of the scarier or sadder moments, especially early-on. 

Home Media: Easily found anywhere, including on individual DVD, packaged with Return to the Sea, and on Disney Plus with a subscription.

DVD

DVD - Little Mermaid II and Ariel's Beginning 2-Movie Collection

Blu-Ray - Little Mermaid II and Ariel's Beginning 2-Movie Collection

Disney Plus

Cult Flops - Earth Girls are Easy

Vestron Pictures, 1988

Starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Julie Brown

Directed by Julien Temple

Music and Lyrics by various

If you thought an animated musical about mutated street animals saving a post-apocalyptic world was weird, get a load of this one. This adaption of the hit Julie Brown song apparently had its genesis in 1986, but Warner Bros lost interest when Temple's previous project bombed and they couldn't interest any major stars in the film. It ultimately ended up with the De Laurentis Group and Vestron...but Temple's eye for detail drove up costs and flared up tempers. The fact that it was filmed while the De Laurentis Group was facing bankruptcy likely didn't help matters. By the time it limped into general release in 1989, it was an enormous flop, not even making its relatively small budget back. Does it deserve that fate, or should these aliens get a second chance to show their stuff? Let's begin with three hairy, horny aliens in a spaceship on their way to Earth and find out...

The Story: Valerie Gail (Davis) is having a really bad week. First of all, she let her girlfriend Candy (Brown) give her a complete makeover to put her fiancee Dr. Ted Gallagher (Charlie Rocket) in a more amorous frame of mind. He ends up bringing home a buxom nurse (Stacey Travis) instead, and Val kicks him out. Not long after that, a strange yellow alien ship crash lands in her swimming pool. She nearly drowns investigating it. The aliens turn out to be friendly and help her inside, but she has no idea what to do with them or how to keep Ted from finding them while her surfer friend Woody (Michael McKean) drains her pool

She ends up taking them to Candy for makeovers...revealing three hot, if goofy, guys under all that hair. Mac (Goldblum), the group's leader, ends up falling for Valerie during a trip to a nightclub. Ted, however, does not like Valerie hanging out with three weirdos and calls off their engagement. The aliens also know very little about human culture besides what they've gleaned off TV. When Zeebo (Damon Waynas) and Wiploc (Carrey) land in the hospital, Mac and Valerie go after him before Ted can figure out they're aliens. Valerie still thinks Ted might be the one, but when the spaceship is finally repaired, she begins to wonder if an out-of-this-world love might be better for her than an earthbound doctor who doesn't appreciate her.

The Song and Dance: This is one of the most original live-action musicals in an era where comedies about teen witches, alien stepmothers, and vampire besties abounded. Carrey and Waynas get to show early signs of the wacky, rubbery comic geniuses that would make them household names in the next decade, while Goldblum is charming as the sweetest and least-goofy of the three aliens. Davis is a riot as Valerie, desperately trying to bed Ted while figuring out what to do with these guys, and Michael McKean has a lot of fun as surf bum Woody who has probably had one too many falls off his board. The filming in real-life LA adds considerably to the film's weird charm.

The Numbers:  We open with the title song in the alien's ship and over a unique animated credits sequence depicting sci-fi tropes. Our first chorus number is at the salon where Candy and Valerie work, the Curl Up and Dye, as Candy and the hairdressers claim they're going to turn Val into a "Brand New Girl." Val and Candy take the shaved aliens for a night on the town, where they and the chorus "Hit Me." Mac impresses Val with a charming instrumental number at the piano. "Baby Gonna Shake" lets Zeebo show off his moves against another dancer in a cage. Candy reveals why she's so glad to have gone platinum at the beach in another signature Julie Brown number, the chorus routine "'Cause I'm a Blonde." Woody, Zeebo, and Wiploc "Shake That Cosmic Thing" during a huge car chase downtown. The aliens navigate being turned around on the highway to Depuche Mode's version of "Route 66." The movie ends with Hall & Oates' version of "Love Train" over the credits.

What I Don't Like: Did I mention how weird this is? Weird and very, very 80's. It plays on a lot of stereotypes of the time, including valley girls and their obsession with landing wealthy beaus. Nowadays, Val probably would have kicked Ted's rear to the curb permanently the first time she found him cheating. Brown's Candy can get annoying fast, especially in that "Blonde" number. (Incidentally, if the "Blonde" number seems a bit extraneous, it was added at the last minute to give the film a second hit Brown tune.)

The Big Finale: If you love the cast or other truly unique science fiction or fantasy comedies from this era, you'll want to ride the wave over to California to meet three of the most rockin' aliens to ever crash into a manicurist's swimming pool.

Home Media: Easily found on all formats, often for under $10. Tubi currently has it for free with commercials.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Tubi

Animation Celebration for Adults - Rock & Rule

MGM/Nelvana, 1983

Voices of Don Francks, Paul Le Mat, Susan Roman, and Greg Duffel

Directed by Clive A. Smith

Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we dive into the weirder side of the 80's with two cult flops from the decade of decadence that deserve to be better-known. Although most people still saw animation as merely children's fodder, there were attempts in the 70's and early 80's to move it beyond princesses and talking mice. We saw one such example with Ralph Bakshi's historical epic American Pop back in 2022. This one didn't start as an adult action fantasy. Canadian animation studio Nelvana originally intended their first animated film, about a post-apocalyptic world evolved from street animals like dogs, cats, and rats. Somewhere along the line, it turned into a hard-rock fantasy for grown-ups that filmed without a script. How does this singularly peculiar animated rock-and-roll epic look nowadays? Let's begin with a narrator (Chris Wiggins) explaining our story and find out...

The Story: Mok Swagger (Francks) is a legendary rock musician who is seeking "one special voice" that will unlock a powerful demon from another dimension. He and his goons return to the village of Ohmtown to see one last band. Turns out the female member, Angel (Roman), has just the voice he needs for his machine. Mok and his henchmen Sleazy (Brent Titcomb), Toad (Wiggins), and Zip (Duffel) lure Angel and the male band members Omar (Le Mat), Stretch (Duffell), and Dizzy (Dan Hennessey) to his mansion. He kidnaps Angel and traps the other three in an energy ball to force her to sing.

After Omar and the other two are thrown out of Mok's mansion, they steal a police car and follow Mok to Nuke York. The cops catch up with them, and they end up in jail. Dizzy's Aunt Edith (Catherine O'Hara) bails them out. Angel escapes with Cinderella (Catherine Gallant), the eager sister of Mok's goons, but Mok gets his claws on her again. He also makes Omar think she doesn't want to be with him anymore and brainwashes him, Dizzy, and Stretch. They finally come out of when Mok moves his concert to Ohmtown due to the huge need for power. Now, it's a race against time as Omar and his friends try to save Angel from the hideous demon, and discover that it takes more than once voice to take down real evil.

The Animation: While still not at Disney's absolute best, this is light-years beyond anything Nelvana was doing on TV at this point. The designs are appropriately hideous and wildly unique at turns, like an urban 80's fever dream crossed with a faded Art Deco print. The special effects, with all its glitter, light beams, and very early CGI, screams "early 80's." The characters move well enough, but even the "good guys" like Omar can sometimes be a little too grotesque - and there's Mok Swagger and his collection of hairpieces and wildly dramatic expressions, too.

The Song and Dance: Well, you can't say this one isn't original. Canada's first dive into English-language feature-length animation is a really weird blend of the unique butting up against the mythic. Mok Swagger alone is something else, with his bony body and ever-changing headgear. Francks gives him just the right tone of oozing menace. Duffel does especially well with Zip, the sweetest of Mok's goons who questions what they're doing, and Gallant is hilarious as party-hearty Angel. 

The Numbers: We open with Omar and his band's noisy hard rock number "Born to Raise Hell." After they're cut off, Angel manages to sneak in her "Send Love Through" which is enough to impress Mok. Toad catches Angel and Omar making love in their car to "Angel's Song." "Hot Dogs & Sushi" introduces us to Mok's enormous and rather ugly mansion. The flickering beams in Lou Reed's "Triumph" is what hypnotizes Omar and the guys. "I'm the Man" takes Omar and the guys to Nuke York in their stolen cop car.

Cindy and Angel get into the nightclub and on the dance floor with "Dance, Dance, Dance." Mok gives us his big scheme at the first concert, complete with female dancers echoing his name, in "My Name Is Mok." "Ohm Sweet Ohm" is Omar's too-sugary song under hypnosis. Angel is forced to perform the "Invocation Song" while drugged at the second concert. "Pain and Suffering" gets scary - and kind of of gross - with freaky imagery and nasty lyrics. It takes Omar and Angel together to reprise her "Send Love Through" and send that freaky demon back where he came from.

Trivia: MGM had little faith in the film, giving it almost no promotion in the US, recutting it, and replacing Omar's original voice Greg Salata with the better-known Paul Le Mat. Needless to say, it was a monumental failure that remained hard to find for years.

What I Don't Like: Hooo boy, calling this one "weird" doesn't begin to do it justice. Some of the creepy, unsettling, or flat-out gross imagery, especially during the demon's arrival, almost pushes this into horror turf. This is most definitely not kiddie animation. There's sex, exposed rears, fairly strong violence, some suggestive humor. Frankly, neither Angel nor especially Omar are all that interesting. Omar in particular is such a jerk, you don't mind seeing him hypnotized all that much. He certainly can't match Mok's theatrical flair. The story is all over the place and occasionally dips into end-of-the-world cliches. No wonder audiences (and MGM) in 1983 had a hard time figuring out what was going on. 

The Big Finale: This dark dive into a wildly strange future isn't for everyone, but fans of Deborah Harry (who is Angel's singing voice) or those wanting to see some really unique adult animation might be willing to give this early 80's fever dream a shot.

Home Media: The US DVD is wildly out of print (though the Canadian copy is available). The best way to see this one in the US is on YouTube.

YouTube

Animation Celebration Saturday - My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks

Hasbro Studios, 2014

Voices of Tara Strong, Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, and Tabitha St. Germain

Directed by Jayson Thiessen and Ishi Rudell

Music by Daniel Ingram; Lyrics by Daniel Ingram and Megan McCarthy

Let's head to Canterlot High for this unique spin-off of the wildly popular My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. This is actually the second movie in this series, but it's the most musical. In this alternate universe, the Friendship Is Magic characters are played as Technicolor teenagers with more realistic problems whose encounters with Equestrian magic leave them changed, in more ways than one. How does this stack up against the original show? Let's begin at Canterlot High, as their Music Showcase is announced, and find out...

The Story: Sunset Shimmer (Rebecca Shoichet) is frustrated because, after being a bully controlled by Equestrian magic in the first movie, no one trusts her. Her only friends are sweet Fluttershy (Libman), stylish Rarity (St. Germain), tomboy Rainbow Dash (Ball), down-home Applejack (Ball), and energetic Pinkie Pie (Libman). Sunset is hoping to impress the three newest students, a group called The Dazzlings, by showing them around school. Not only are they not impressed, but they insist on turning the musical showcase into a Battle of the Bands. The girls are suspicious, especially after Principal Celestia (Nicole Oliver) too readily agrees to the change. Sunset Shimmer uses a magical book to write to Twilight Sparkle (Strong) for help.

Twilight does arrive, only to find that their usual magic doesn't work with the Dazzlings. She suggests writing a counter-spell into their music and joining the Battle of the Bands. Unfortunately, Twilight is neither a singer, nor a writer, and feels like a failure when she can't think of a good counter-spell. Fluttershy can't get her music heard. Rarity is upset when Applejack belittles her costumes. Rainbow Dash wants to hog the spotlight for herself, and Pinkie's worried that none of this is much fun anymore. Despite them fumbling through semi-finals, they do manage to get to he finals of the Battle of the Bands. Not only do the Dazzlings turn out to be taking their negative energy, but magician Trixie (Kathleen Barr) wants them out of the competition. It'll take help from the school's resident DJ to finally prove that the power of friendship is greater than any negative sirens.

The Animation: Pretty much the same as Friendship Is Magic, with more human-like characters. We get an equal wealth of expression. The backgrounds probably could be more detailed, but that might go along with it being Flash animation.

The Song and Dance: Unique take on Friendship Is Magic for slightly older girls. Sunset Shimmer's story as she tries to be accepted after being the villain in the previous film is the stand-out. You really do feel for her. She only wants to be friends, but people keep seeing her for what she did under the spell of Equestria magic. Ball does equally well with blunt Applejack and take-charge Rainbow Dash, while Libman is especially good as gentle Fluttershy. Kazumi Evans makes a wonderfully hissable head of the Dazzlings.

The Numbers: We open over the credits with the title song "Rainbow Rocks." The Rainbooms claim they're "Better Than Ever" as we see their first rehearsal. The Dazzlings' arrival leaves the entire school "Under My Spell." They're the ones insisting on a "Battle" with the other students. Twilight's "Bad Counter Spell" is off-key vocally and emotionally. Trixie and the Illusions have "Tricks Up My Sleeve" at the Battle of the Bands finals. Rainbow's "Awesome as I Want to Be" showcases her guitar...and pushes the others to the background. Everyone is singing "Welcome to the Show" as the Battle begins, then "Let's Have a Battle of the Bands." The Rainbooms' big finale number that finally defeats the Dazzlings is "Shine Like Rainbows."

What I Don't Like: Um...if you don't know anything about the previous film in this series or Friendship Is Magic, you're going to be seriously confused here. This basically plays on the world-building in both. Also, this is a TV production. The songs are cute but nothing special, the animation even more so. We're not getting Disney-level theatrics here. 

The Big Finale: Enjoyable enough way to pass an hour on a summer's afternoon if you're already a fan of Equestria Girls or the Friendship Is Magic series. 

Home Media: Easily found in all formats, including currently free on Tubi with commercials. 

DVD

Blu-Ray

Tubi

Happy 4th of July! - Meet Me In St. Louis (1959)

CBS, 1959

Starring Jane Powell, Tab Hunter, Patty Duke, and Myrna Loy

Directed by George Schaefer

Music and Lyrics by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blaine and others

We'll stay in the same time period, but jump on a cross-country train from New Hampshire to Missouri to celebrate Independence Day at the St. Louis World Fair. The original Meet Me In St. Louis debuted during World War II, where it was considered a celebration of the American family and everything Americans were fighting for "over there." Over fifteen years later, it was reworked for TV as a major "spectacular" at a time when American family values were considered just as important, even if the country was no longer under threat. How well did they do with this remake of one of the great classic MGM musicals? Let's begin in front of the Smiths' home in St. Louis in 1903 as children sing the title song and find out...

The Story: The biggest news in the Smith household is oldest sister Rose's (Jeanne Crain) beau calling long-distance from New York and the building of the St. Louis World's Fair. Second-oldest sister Esther (Powell) is more interested in admiring handsome boy next door John Truitt (Hunter), who just moved next-door. He's oblivious to her advances until she finally makes her feelings clear during a trolley ride to the under-construction fairgrounds.

Halloween doesn't go nearly as well. Littlest sister Tootie (Duke) runs home crying from the dress-up bonfire because she claims John hit her. Esther dashes over to her house and pounds him, only for Tootie to admit she lied and John was actually trying to keep her and her sister Agnes (Ginger McManus) from the police. 

Esther returns home to worse news. Their father Lon (Walter Pidgeon) intends to move the family to New York after Christmas. This makes the big Christmas ball even more important. Esther is upset when John can't go, until her Grandpa (Ed Wynn) intervenes. It takes a devastated Tootie destroying her snowman family to make Mr. Smith realize that his family is fine where they are...and there's nothing in New York that they don't already have at home.

The Song and Dance: Considering how beloved the original is, this was far better than I expected it to be. Twinkly Ed Wynn and pointed Myrna Loy steals the show as a far more charming Grandpa and slightly more caustic Mrs. Anna Smith. Wynn singing and dancing the title song with a delectably macabre Duke is a sheer delight. Hunter is such a sweet and adorable "boy next door" (especially compared to bland Tom Drake in the original), you have no problems understanding why Esther is crazy about him. (The additional two songs for him help flesh out his character further as well.) The costumes and sets are mostly historically accurate, especially the gowns at that ball later. 

And I still love how realistic all of this feels, even 120 years later. I grew up in a family of mostly women where Dad was frequently out of the loop, you never had less than three people hearing your conversation with your boyfriends (even after cell phones came into regular usage), and Halloween was scary whether you were running around bonfires or just gathering candy. 

The Numbers: We open with the title song first being sung by children playing outside the porch. Esther wistfully sings about "The Boy Next Door" who doesn't notice her. Grandpa and Tootie delightfully pick up the title song from the kids outside, dancing around Tootie's "dying" dolls as Esther and Rose play it inside. "Skip to My Lou" is the big chorus number at Esther and Rose's going away party for their brother Lon (Kelly Brown). Esther sings the genuine early 1900's ballad "Over the Bannister" in an attempt to get a kiss out of John, but he ducks out of it. 

"The Trolley Song" is performed before the trolley leaves, not on it, but it's just as spirited. John is so thrilled to have finally admitted his feelings, he tells Esther what he would do "If You Were the Only Girl In the World." He wonders "When Does This Feeling Go Away?" after a picnic with Esther on the fairgrounds. Thankfully, Walter Pidgeon is a good singer and didn't need to be dubbed for the gentle ballad "You and I," which Alonzo and Anna sing at Halloween after his announcement. Loy isn't a good singer, but she manages her part well enough. 

"After the Ball" and "Auld Lang Syne" are instrumental chorus dance numbers at the Christmas ball. Esther sings a devastating "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with a sobbing Tootie in her arms after the ball...and Powell thought the song was so upsetting, she couldn't bring herself to perform the whole thing for Duke. We end with the entire cast singing the title song as they prepare to head to the World's Fair itself.

Trivia: This was performed live, which explains some of the cast flubs, including Loy missing a line and Powell changing the lyrics to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" to make them less upsetting for Duke.

It also isn't the last time Meet Me In St. Louis would be adapted for another medium. A 1966 non-musical pilot featuring Shelley Fabares as Esther didn't make it to a full series. A stage version debuted on Broadway in 1989, but only ran for seven months.

What I Don't Like: Powell herself, for starters. She's cute and sings well enough, but lacks the heart and real feelings Judy Garland brought to this role in 1944. Though they do use most of the original score, they did drop one of my favorite numbers, the adorable (but admittedly extraneous) "Under the Bamboo Tree" cakewalk with Tootie and Esther. And yes, this was live, complete with all the flubs and changes I mentioned above. 

The Big Finale: This also ended up being a surprise. While no replacement for the original, it has enough good points to make it worth a watch for fans of 40's and 50's musicals or anyone in the cast.

Home Media: Currently available on YouTube.

YouTube

Musicals On TV - Our Town (1955)

NBC, 1955

Starring Frank Sinatra, Eva Marie Saint, Paul Newman, and Paul Hartman

Directed by Delbert Mann

Music by Jimmy Van Heusen; Lyrics by Sammy Cahn

We celebrate our second week of All-American Weekdays with two very different TV musicals set in the early 1900's. Thornton Wilder's Our Town originally debuted on Broadway in 1938, where it was an instant success with its unique depiction of fifteen years in a typical New Hampshire town during the early 1900's. It even won the Pulitzer for drama that year. That very simplicity made it an odd choice for musical treatment, but NBC dusted it off anyway for its Producers' Showcase and front-loaded it with some of the biggest stars of the time, including Sinatra. How does this powerful exploration of life, love, and memory look as a musical? Let's begin with Sinatra, our Stage Manager, as he introduces us to the people of Grover's Corners and tells us their eventual fate and find out...

The Story: We follow neighbors Emily Webb (Saint) and George Gibbs (Newman) from their impatient teen years through their marriage, and her eventual death on the birth of their second child. She's reluctant to leave her life behind, until she's able to see her 12th birthday and realizes what she missed then and how beautiful life and love are. Meanwhile, the Stage Manager introduces the rest of the town, letting us know these people and see their charming, full everyday lives.

The Song and Dance: This may be far from the first play I'd think of adapting for a musical, but darned if they don't pull it off. The cast alone makes it worth seeing. Saint is utterly luminous as the young woman who goes from young girl yearning for love to hopeful bride to woman who discovers in death just how precious life is. Sylvia Field is charmingly bossy as George's mother, and Shelly Fabares is adorable as his younger sister. The score is also excellent, and even tossed off a standard, "Love and Marriage." Period-accurate costumes work well with the minimal sets.

The Numbers: Sinatra opens with "Our Town," and introduces us to the residents of "Grover's Corners." He first performs "The Impatient Years" while Emily and George court and tease each other behind him. They perform it later, as they recall the events leading up to their wedding. Sinatra introduces the standard "Love and Marriage" during the start of the second act, as silhouettes of Emily and George's playful courtship are seen behind him. The cast says "Wasn't It a Wonderful Wedding?" as George and Emily delight in being married. Sinatra initially sings "Look To Your Heart," but Emily picks it up in the finale as she realizes just how the little things in life mean so much.

Trivia: "Love and Marriage" would be the biggest hit written for a TV musical. It's now likely best-known for being used as the theme for the late 80's-90's sitcom Married With Children. 

Originally filmed in color, the surviving kinetoscope is in black and white. 

What I Don't Like: Newman is overage for his role and under-rehearsed...but to give him some credit, he was apparently a last-minute replacement for James Dean. More worrying is Sinatra is pretty much the only singer in the cast. Saint can carry a tune well enough to at least somewhat manage "Listen to Your Heart," but Newman definitely can't. Sinatra may sing "Love and Marriage" with aplomb, but his Hoboken street-wise persona does seem a tad out of place in early 1900's New Hampshire.

The Big Finale: Even the terrible copy currently on YouTube is worth seeing if you love the cast, 50's musicals, or want to see where "Love and Marriage" came from.

Home Media: And that blurry, washed-out black and white copy is currently the only way to see this one.

YouTube