Starring Michael Jackson, Joe Pesci, Kellie Parker, and Brandon Quintin Adams
Directed by Jerry Kramer and Colin Chilvers
Music and Lyrics by Michael Jackson and others
And now, we take a deep dive into my 80's childhood for something seriously out of left field...or not even in the ballpark. By the time Moonwalker finally debuted in late 1988, Michael Jackson was THE hottest celebrity on the planet. His Thriller album from 1982 was the biggest-selling LP of all time; Bad, his second, wasn't far behind. His music videos were influential on film and stage for their ground-breaking choreography and use of storytelling. There was trouble behind the scenes, though, including his discovery of a disease that made his skin grow paler and a great deal of eccentric behavior that made tabloid headlines. He reflected on all that in the album Bad and this movie, which went through its own troubles. Was it worth the headaches, or should this one get blasted by that giant robot in the finale? Let's begin by seeing just how huge Michael was actual footage of him performing "Man In the Mirror" during his Bad World Tour and find out...
The Story: Actually, we have seven music videos strung together here...
Man In the Mirror - Michael reveals what kind of man he wants to be as we see footage of historical figures like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa intercut with scenes of the crowds going wild for him.
Retrospective - Ten-minute rundown of Michael's career, from his start with his brothers as the Jackson 5 to the start of the Bad World Tour.
Badder - Michael's famous "Bad" music video is recreated by hip street-dancing kids, including one (Adams) who is a dead ringer for him.
Speed Demon - Now an adult again, Michael has to outrun the Claymation crowds who want his autograph while morphing into whatever it is that'll get him away from those nutty autograph seekers. He leads them on a merry chase, appearing as different celebrities and a motorcycle-riding rabbit...but it's the rabbit who gets the last word when he and Michael have a dance-off in the desert.
Leave Me Alone - This one jumps into surrealism as Michael depicts his roller coaster life as a circus, and one he just wants to break free of.
Smooth Criminal - The longest segment with the most story. Michael befriends homeless kids Katie (Parker), Zeke (Adams), and Sean (Sean Lennon). While chasing their dog in the park, he and Katie inadvertently discover the hide-out of drug kingpin Mr. Big (Pesci). Michael makes use of a little smooth dancing - and a lot of wish fulfillment magic - to rescue Katie and save every child on Earth from being drugged to death.
Come Together - We end with another concert, this time with Michael performing a cover of the Beatles hit for the delighted kids.
The Animation: Name a style of animation that was faddish in the late 80's - Claymation, surrealism, computer graphics, stop-motion - and you'll probably see at least one sequence representing it here. The "Leave Me Alone" and "Retrospective" segments resembles Terry Gilliam's absurdist cartoons from Monty Python's Flying Circus, with its dogs riding roller coasters over the sleeping Michael. "Speed Demon" plays with the Claymation that was popular on television then - we even see the California Raisins and Domino's the Noid. It all moves decently, but even Michael's rabbit form is grotesque, creepy, and more likely to freak kids out than amuse them.
The Song and Dance: Hoo boy, this is a weird one. This is probably one of the strangest musicals I've reviewed on this blog, In fact, only Head, another surreal bit of lunacy made by rock musicians, gets anywhere near this on the nuttiness level. At the very least, some of the bits are really creative, especially for the time. "Speed Demon," with its mind-blowing quick-change editing, and the incredible dance sequence in "Smooth Criminal" are by far the best of the segments and have the most interesting story, though the colorful surreal imagery in "Leave Me Alone" rates a mention.
Favorite Number: Adams and a group of ultra-tough pre-teen boys show off their "Bad" side in a spoof of the adult music video that feels more like "Bugsy Malone in the 80's," up to and including the kid-sizes sets. This goes directly into "Speed Demon," as Michael morphs into different celebrities to avoid the crowds who want his autograph and somehow ends up dancing with his Claymation rabbit costume. "Leave Me Alone" depicts Michael's life as a circus, with him finally attempting to escape from the barking dog heads of the press in the end.
The most famous number from this one by far is "Smooth Criminal." Michael is supposed to meet the kids at the Club 30's. They miss him, only seeing dust and dirt. They really should have stuck around. Michael's imagination turns it into an incredible dance routine, with gangsters in snappy pin-striped suits and stylish dames in elegant gowns dancing along with Michael as he takes on several mobsters and shows everyone some of the best moves in any 80's film. It has a level of style and elegance that puts it several notches above anything else in the movie.
Trivia: Two of Michael's nephews are dancers in the "Bad" segment.
Though this was released to theaters in other parts of the world, the cost made it too expensive for Warners to put out in the US. It still made a mint when it came out on video in North America in January 1989.
What I Don't Like: Um, I think you can guess by now that if you're not a fan of Michael Jackson or weren't around when he was considered to be a near-god in the mid-late 80's, you're going to be incredibly confused. The segments mostly jump from oddball sequence to oddball sequence with no rhyme or reason. "Retrospective" makes him look like he's bragging about all his success...and then "Leave Me Alone" contradicts this, with him claiming he just wants the press to get out of his life.
And what audience did Michael and Warners intend "Smooth Criminal" for? Sure, there's kids, action, and robots straight out of Transformers, but the kids and Michael are beaten and shot at by vicious drug lords, there's the dancers all rubbing against Michael in a near-orgy during the "Smooth Criminal" routine, and the spiders and cobwebs straight out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It can be a bit much for kids Katie's age and younger. Not to mention, the idea of Michael running around with a group of little kids may come off as more creepy than sweet nowadays, after his allegations of child abuse in the late 2000's.
The Big Finale: My sisters and I loved Moonraker when it debuted on cable in mid-1989. We recorded it and watched it constantly. The scattershot structure and weird barely-there plots show their age nowadays. Unless you're a massive fan of Michael Jackson or have fond memories of those cable showings, I'd look up the "Smooth Criminal" number online and skip the rest.
Home Media: That prohibitive cost has also kept it from being released on disc in North America. Streaming is your only bet on this side of the pond.
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