Thursday, May 25, 2023

You're Never Too Young

Paramount, 1955
Starring Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Diana Lynn, and Raymond Burr
Directed by Norman Taurog
Music by Arthur Schwartz; Lyrics by Sammy Cahn

You're Never Too Young is the last of three Martin-Lewis movies that were remakes of earlier Paramount comedies, and their second filmed in Paramount's wide-screen VistaVision. By this point, it was mostly Lewis' show. He's the main character here, a man who dresses as a child to get a cheap train ticket. How does this remake of the Ginger Rogers World War II comedy The Major and the Minor look nowadays? Let's begin with the theft of a valuable diamond and the murder of its guard by thief Noonan (Burr) and find out...

The Story: Desperate to hide the loot, Noonan first drops it in the pocket of girls' school teacher Bob Miles (Martin), then the man who is attempting to give him a shave and a haircut, Wilbur Hoolick (Lewis). Spooked by the police, Wilbur tries to get home to Bitzen, Washington, but he can't afford the ticket. He dresses as an eleven-year-old boy to get one at half-price. Noonan tries to get it back there, but Wilbur thinks he's a jealous husband and hides in the compartment of teacher Nancy Collins (Lynn). She really thinks he's an eleven-year-old and lets him stay in her compartment for the rest of the trip.

Nancy's good intentions cause trouble when the daughter of her school's principal Gretchen (Nina Foch) claims she saw her with a man on the train. Wilbur continues the charade of being eleven to keep Nancy from losing her job. Trouble is, not only does Bob work at the school, too, but he's Nancy's fiancee. Noonan is on Wilbur's trail, too...and it'll take nothing less than a wacky speedboat chase across the school's lake to bring the police in and sort out this mess!

The Song and Dance: Lewis' antics and his attempts to look and sound like a child are the only real selling points here. He has some hilarious moments, whether he's trying to give Martin a haircut and a manicure in the beginning (complete with terrible French accent), jumping into Martin's arms during a drill with the girls, or dodging the advances of the amorous school girl Skeets (Mitzi McCall). Some of his later interactions with Nancy and the school teachers seem almost like a preview of his timid Nutty Professor from a decade later. Burr's an excellent heavy, too, and sounds great intimidating Wilbur. 

Favorite Number: We don't get a number until almost 15 minutes in, and it's Martin's ballad "Love Is All That Matters" as he tries to apologize to his fiancee. Lewis insists that Martin thinks "Relax-ay-Voo," but Lewis' idea of barbering is anything but relaxing! Martin's second ballad is "I Know Your Mother Loves You." The girls march to "Every Day Is a Happy Day," and Wilbur insists on marching right alongside them. They're a lot better at staying in step than Wilbur! The number ends with Wilbur jumping right into Bob's arms. "Simpatico" is Martin's big song at the school dance. Wilbur's attempt to conduct the school choir turns into "I Like to Hike." 

Trivia: First movie for Mitzi McCall.

Diana Lynn and Emory Parnell were also in The Major and the Minor. Lynn was the science-loving teen nemesis of Ginger Rogers' phony schoolgirl. Parnell was the train conductor there as well. 

What I Don't Like: Nothing else registers. Neither Martin nor Lynn really have all that much to do besides play along with Lewis. Lewis' mugging and annoying little-boy voice gets so grating as the movie wears on, it's almost a relief when he more-or-less drops it by the half-way mark. Other than the idea of someone dressing as a child to get a half-fare train ticket, this has very little to do with the original movie or the play and short story it was based on. The girls' school, diamond theft, and speedboat finale were all tossed in to give Lewis more opportunities for slapstick and likely to add some action to the second half. 

The Big Finale: For major fans of Martin and/or Lewis only. Everyone else will probably want to check out their earlier films or Lewis' solo vehicles before coming here. 

Home Media: Only avalible on disc in North America as part of a very expensive Martin/Lewis DVD collection. You're better off streaming this one. It's currently on Paramount Plus with a subscription.

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