Saturday, February 14, 2026

Valentine's Short Subject Special - The Valentine's Day That Almost Wasn't

Showtime, 1982
Voices of Lisa Buckley, Richard J. Schellbach, Paul Fusco, and Bob Fappiano
Directed by Paul Fusco
Music and Lyrics by Ed Bruder and Jeff Cannata

From 1981 through 1983 Paul Fusco, the creator of ALF, made a series of six holiday specials for cable featuring his unique comic puppets. We've already seen his Easter and Thanksgiving stories over the past year. For Valentine's Day, we get a mystery and action spoof that turns cupids into Bogart-style investigators and gives us a little more action than in the more character-based early specials. In fact, we begin with our first real villain from these specials, Rubella Slime (Buckley) and her brothers, as they create a brew to spread hate in the world and end Valentine's Day as we know it.

The Story: Rubella hates Valentine's Day so much, she and her brothers Bugsy (Fusco) and Weasel (Fappiano) create a hate potion to put into the Cupids' Pot of Love. They first spray it on innocent Cosmo Cupid (Schellbach) when he's giving away puppies at the pound to create a distraction. While Sam Cupid (Fusco) and his boys are dealing with Cosmo, Bugsy and Weasell are able to sneak in and put the potion in the pot. When the cupids shoot their arrows, they turn everyone mean instead of loving. Sam has to find the antidote and stops Rubella, before she and her brothers ruin Valentine's Day for everyone.

The Song and Dance: Well, you can't say this one isn't unique. You don't often see a holiday special, especially for Valentine's Day, framed as a film noir spoof. The city and above the clouds setting gives this one a different vibe from the other specials, and it's a bit more action-packed, as per the mystery thriller vibe. Buckley pretty much steals the show as the hilariously evil Rubella, who wants everyone to hate Valentine's Day because she's never gotten a real Valentine in her life.

The Numbers: "Poison Brew" is Rubella's big song and dance with her brothers early-on. We get their explanation as to why they're doing this, how they plan on doing it, and what it will do to the people on earth.

What I Don't Like: This might be the strangest thing Fusco ever did. Humphrey Bogart-imitating Cupids? Villains who act like a cross between Maleficent and Morticia Addams? A Valentine's Day story framed as a mystery? Yeah, this is pretty weird, and more action than musical. Like Fusco's other work for Showtime, it's also incredibly cheap. Some of the sets are a little bit more interesting than the ones for Easter and Thanksgiving, especially when Cosmo and Sam are in their hot air balloon, using a laser (that is obviously a spotlight) to spread love, but it still looks like something made for cable in the early 80's.

The Big Finale: If you're looking for something different (and maybe a little less romantic) this Valentine's Day, take a trip to the big city with Sam and help him stop Rubella from destroying the holiday forever.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, including free on Tubi with commercials.

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