Cult Flops - The Apple

The Cannon Group, 1980
Starring Catherine Mary Stewart, George Gilmour, Grace Kennedy, and Vladek Sheybal
Directed by Menahem Golem
Music by Coby Recht; Lyrics by Iris Recht

Even low-budget studios wanted to cash in on the disco craze. Inspired by his difficulties with a major French music company, Recht started writing this one in 1977. He couldn't get anyone to sign until he hit on Golem, an old friend. Golem thought it would make a wonderful movie and started filming in West Berlin in 1979 It's creators thought it was going to be the next big thing. By the time it came out in June 1980, it ran into that huge disco backlash and wound up being one of the bigger failures of the year. How does this disco Faust allegory look now? Let's start at the Euro...er, Worldvision Song Festival at West Berlin's Internationales Congress Centrum in 1994 and find out...

The Story: Naive young Canadians Alphie (Gilmour) and Bibi (Stewart) enter the contest with their gentle love song, but sabotaged by the evil Mr. Boogalow (Sheybal) and his minions. They want the pair from Boogalow International Music, Dandi (Allan Love) and Pandi (Grace Kennedy), to win. Boogalow invites them to a party at his home, and then to his office to sign a contract. Alphie insists both times that something is wrong. Dandi comes onto Bibi at the party, convincing her to sign the contract. She becomes the biggest star on the planet, spreading the evil message of BIM until everyone is under Boogalow's influence.

Alphie is still trying to sell his pop ballads, but he's not doing well. He lives in a falling-down building run by a fussy Jewish lady (Miriam Margoyles) who wishes he'd pay the rent. He tries to get Bibi back, but is first beaten by Boogalow's mooks, then seduced by Pandi. Realizing how much he loves her, Pandi finally sends Bibi after her sweetheart. They fall in with a group of hippies...but it'll take literal divine intervention to save this biblical pair and the people who have protected them...

The Song and Dance: This movie is so insane, it's in a class by itself. The glittery sci-fi costumes and wild neon makeup say less "1994" than "Rainbow Brite on every recreational drug available in 1980." Everyone either overacts with a rabid ferocity or fades into the woodwork, and it's oddly complimentary to the movie's in-your-face style.

Favorite Number: Dandi initially seduces Bibi with "Made for Me" at Boogalow's party as the guests throw in their own dance moves to help convince her. Boogalow, his second-in-command Shake (Ray Shell), and the chorus introduce Alphie and Bibi to the world of "Showbizness" in a huge, glitzy dance number in the lobby of Boogalow International Music shortly before they go upstairs to check out their contracts. Alphie thinks he sees Dandi giving "The Apple" to Bibi in an extremely obvious Adam and Eve allegory. Pandi gets her own seduction number with "Coming," as she and the chorus make love and try to sway Alphie to their side.

What I Don't Like: Nothing in this movie makes the slightest bit of sense. There's plot holes the size of Europe. We don't find out how they invited Alphie and Bibi to the party after they sabotaged them, or what happened to Alphie's landlady, or how BIM took over so quickly, or why Pandi suddenly changed sides. The movie frequently shows it's the cheap cash-in it is, from bad special effects to the lousy script and acting to the ridiculous, out-of-nowhere ending. This movie has all the subtlety of a ten-ton brick to the face.

The Big Finale: ...And yet, for all the idiocy, I still liked it better than Can't Stop the Music. It's obvious they took this seriously and were trying hard to make a decent biblical allegory, using the music of the time. Is it great? No. Is it even good? Not at all. But it's definitely it's own thing. If you love movies that are so bad, they're fascinating, you'll want to take a look at this.

Home Media: It's cult status makes it easy to find in all formats.

DVD
Blu-Ray
Amazon Prime