Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Cult Flops - Rock n' Roll Nightmare

Shapiro Entertainment, 1987
Starring Jon Mikl Thor, Jillian Peri, Frank Dietz, and David Lane
Directed by John Fasano
Music and Lyrics by various

Let's head to the Great White North for a hard rock horror-fest that's so obscure, I never heard of it until last week. Normally, neither 80's heavy metal nor 80's creature horror is really my thing, but this sounded so wonderfully campy, I had to take a look at it. Is it worth checking out now, or should it be dropped off at a house in the middle of nowhere? Let's begin with a family who is about to discover the evil that's dwelling in their secluded farmhouse in Ontario, Canada, and find out...

The Story: Ten years after the family disappears, the farmhouse is rented by John Triton (Thor), head of the heavy metal group Tritonz, and his manager Phil. Triton wants to use it as a recording studio so his band can focus on writing and rehearsing their new album. The evil that killed the family lingers, however, and picks off the band and their groupies one by one. John's the only one who doesn't seem touched by the horror they're facing...and it turns out, he's the one who set a trap for them. 

The Song and Dance: Creative low-budget cross between two of the 80's favorite genres, cheap bloody horror films and heavy metal. You can't get much more late 80's heavy metal than this music. Big hair on everyone, big muscles on the men, tight t-shirts, loose sweaters, lots of soft-core sexual situations between some fairly cheap (and gross) puppets. They do manage to build the scares effectively. The simple camerawork and backwoods setting actually helps add to the tense ambiance.

Favorite Number: We don't get our first actual number until more than 20 minutes into the film, but it's the band rehearsing their theme "We Live to Rock." They cut off at the end when it's not up to John's standards. The later rehearsal number "Energy" sure has a lot of it as the band throws themselves into the uptempo dance rave. "The Challenge" may be the best of the sexually-charged numbers as the possessed Stig gets a lot more into his drumming.

Trivia: This went direct-to-home-video.

Director John Fasano provided the voice of the demon monster in the finale. 

It was originally titled Edge of Hell, but the producers re-titled it to the more video-friendly Rock n' Roll Nightmare

Filmed in just seven days.

What I Don't Like: And the movie looks it. Everything screams "cheap low-budget 80's horror," from the paper mache puppets to the bad acting from Thor's wife and friends to the special effects that probably came off the shelves at a local craft store. The story makes no sense whatsoever. The deadly dull credits that consist of Thor's van driving across Canadian highways exist because they literally needed something to pad out the film and are boring to the point of sending people into a stupor.

That ridiculous ending not only comes completely out of nowhere and doesn't jive with what came before it, it's poorly filmed, edited, and just looks silly. Thor tries to throttle a skeleton puppet that's throwing squishy starfish at him, for heaven's sake. If you're looking for a more serious horror film or aren't into heavy metal or camp, this is not the place for you.

The Big Finale: This goes a little too heavy into the sex and gore for my taste, but I can't deny that it's certainly creepy and unique. If you're a fan of heavy metal or are looking for the perfect "so bad it's hilarious" horror movie for your Halloween party or late-night get-together, jump in the van and look up this one.

Home Media: If you're interested, this is actually pretty easy to find on disc and streaming.

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