Starring Andy Walken, Maya Rudolph, Chris Diamantopoulos, and Tyler Wladis
Directed by Scott Ellis and Alex Rudzinski
Music by Benji Pasak; Lyrics by Justin Paul
Jean Shephard was a humorist best known for his home-spun reminisces of his childhood in Indiana in the 1940's on the radio and in print. His In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash became the movie A Christmas Story in 1983. It was a major flop in theaters, but the simple homespun comedy about one normal boy's quest for the ultimate Christmas present became a staple of cable and home video...so much, that TNT and TBS still run the original 24 hours from Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. How does this retelling of the stage musical from 2012 compare? Let's begin with an older Ralphie (Matthew Broderick) as he recalls Christmas the way it was when he was a kid and find out...
The Story: All Ralphie Parker (Walken) wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB Gun (with a compass and a stock and a thing which tells time). He first tries to ask his mother (Rudolph), but she's not big on the idea of guns to begin with. He then writes about it in a paper for his teacher Mrs. Shields (Jane Krakowski), but she gives it a low grade. Even Santa (David Alan Grier) seems reluctant to let Ralphie have his dream gift. His Old Man (Diamantopoulos) is too busy fighting with the neighborhood dogs and obsessing over his "major award" to pay much attention to Ralphie's desires...and Ralphie may not survive childhood pitfalls like bullies and accidentally blurting bad words long enough to make it to Christmas Day!
The Song and Dance: This was a lot more fun than I thought it would be from the reviews. The kids are the real winners here. Not only are they all amazing singers and dancers, but they seem natural as normal school kids in 1939 Indiana. Some of Ralphie's fantasy sequences featuring his classmates bring Bugsy Malone, another musical set in the 30's featuring a lot of talented kids, to mind. Walken and Wladis are just about perfect as the Parker boys; Sammy Ramirez and JJ Batteast are hilarious as Ralphie's best friends Schwartz and Flick, too. Terrific costumes and sets perfect recreate 1939 small-town Indiana, especially the huge one for Higbee's Department Store.
Favorite Number: Ralphie, his family, and everyone in Hohman reveal their hopes and wishes for the holidays as "It All Comes Down to Christmas" and the revealing of Higbee's front window displays. Ralphie's father declares himself to be "The Genius of Cleveland Street" in a spoof of radio game shows when he enters a crossword contest. His wife is less impressed, especially when his "Major Award" turns out to be a plastic lamp shaped like a leg in a fishnet stocking. After dealing with the bullies, the kids explain that you have to be on your toes "When You're a Wimp." It's "Ralphie to the Rescue" in a drawn-out fantasy sequence where he saves his teacher from gangsters and his family and school mates from bandits. Ms. Shields leads the kids in the 30's movie musical spoof reminding Ralphie that "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out" after he sees his grade.
Mrs. Parker has two lovely solos, "What a Mother Does" as she shows us her many duties around the household, and "Just Like That" as she assures Ralphie after his fight with Scut Farkas that this will all pass, and he'll be fine. "At Higbee's" and "Up on Santa's Lap" is the big number with the kids trying - and frequently failing - to tell Santa what they want. Ralphie and Randy hope to settle their parents' quarrel by fixing the broken leg lamp themselves "Before the Old Man Gets Home." The Parkers finally decide it's been "A Christmas Story" for the ages in the heartfelt finale.
Trivia: A Christmas Story: The Musical debuted on Broadway in 2012 as a limited run through November and December. It reappeared the next year at Madison Square Garden, once again in a limited run. To my knowledge, it hasn't been back to New York since, but the national tour has continued every holiday season, and it's popular with regional theaters around Christmas.
What I Don't Like: The adults don't work out nearly as well as the kids. Randolph's good as Mrs. Parker, but Diamantopoulos is less gruff than you'd like as Ralphie's old man. Krakowski's a bit too much of a ditz to be teaching a class full of kids who stick tongues on cold poles, too, and Grier overdoes the jerk Santa to the point of being annoying. Broderick's narration works better on the big screen, where you can't see him, than it does when he's doing it right there. And at three hours, this movie is way, way too long. Some of the musical numbers should have been trimmed, especially Ralphie's two big fantasy sequences.
The Big Finale: It won't displace the the original, but it's a fun one-time watch on Christmas Eve for families and fans of the film with a spare two and a half hours on their hands.
Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.
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