The Girls On the Beach

Paramount, 1965

Starring Noreen Corcoran, Linda Marshall, Ahana Capri, and Steve Rogers

Directed by William Witney 

Music and Lyrics by various

We're going on Spring Break this week with our weekday reviews. Paramount jumped onto the Beach Party bandwagon with their first of two teen musicals released in 1965. This is the one that came out first, and the one that owes more to Beatlemania and cartoon gags than the beach. Although the Beatles were wildly popular, they were hardly the only band around in the mid-60's. The Beach Boys had been pumping out surf-rock hits since 1962. Given they were the preeminent surf-rock band of the time, it was probably inevitable that they'd turn up in one of these movies. How well do they and two of their biggest hits work in this tale of a sorority who desperately try to earn the money to save their frat house? Let's begin with the title song over views of, well, girls on the beach and find out...

The Story: The ladies of Alpha Beta are all ready for fun in the sun on their spring break when they learn that they owe the bank $10,000 for their sorority house. They think they have the money, but their kindly house mother gave it to every person in need she ever came across. Desperate to keep their house and their housemother out of trouble, sorority president Selma (Corcoran) comes up with a variety of different schemes to earn money in a week, from entering a cake recipe contest to their prettiest member Patricia (Lori Saunders) joining a beauty pageant. 

Their biggest idea is turning their after-Easter dance into a concert and inviting big-name talent. Three boys who are smitten with Selma and her friends claim they know the Beatles and can get them to appear. The girls are thrilled, but the boys have no intention of doing anything but running out...until they see what a big deal everyone makes of the Beatles being in their show. The girls, however, are the ones who end up having to cover when it turns out that the boys might have fibbed slightly.

The Song and Dance: The girls on the beach may not spend much time on the beach, but I do like how the focus is on them. Their schemes and ideas to earn money are what drives the film, and they're all pretty funny, from the constantly-changing cake to what they convince Patricia to do for the talent portion of the pageant (and how she ends up making use of it later). Of the Beach Party imitations, only Get Yourself a College Girl puts as much emphasis on its female characters. I also like that it's more about their relationships and the one with their sorority than with the guys. Some great music too, including two big hits from the Beach Boys, the title song and "Little Honda." 

The Numbers: We open with the Beach Boys performing the title ballad over the credits (though it doesn't really work with the girls running around on the sand), and then for college students at a local hangout. The Crickets give us a weirdly re-written "La Bamba" as our first chorus number and we meet the Alpha Beta members. Alpha Beta member Lesley Gore performs "Let Me Alone" to an attentive young man at the first sorority party. I don't know why the boys came down on one of the Beach Boys' prettiest ballads, "Lonely Sea," which they perform at an outdoor party at night. 

"Little Honda" provides the backdrop for another dance routine as the college kids finish the party at their hangout, right before the boys claim they know the Beatles. Patricia may be embarrassed about her "Dance of the Seven Veils," but the judges sure like it...and so do the concert-goers near the end of the movie. The girls really get into Gore's "It's Gotta Be You" at the sorority house, right before the three guys come down dressed as women. Gore does even better with "I Don't Want to Be a Loser" at the concert. The girls regret having told the Sigma Fi freshman pledges to get a lock of the Beatles' hair as an initiation when they imitated the Beatles and perform "We Want to Marry a Beatle." They later pacify the crowd by reprising it as themselves.

What I Don't Like: First of all, the boys were not only jerks for lying and almost letting the girls hold the bag, they were interchangeable. I don't know how the girls could tell them apart. None of them were remotely interesting. Sometimes, the girls could be pretty interchangeable, too. Any girl who didn't take part in a side plot, like the cake contest or the beauty pageant, were almost as dull. And I have to agree with a reviewer who pointed out how ridiculous it is for everyone to be fussing over the Beatles when they have two other major acts of the era, the Beach Boys and Lesley Gore, right there. (In fact, this would ironically be the Beach Boys' only appearance in a Beach Party movie.)

The Big Finale: Harmless hour and a half worth of fun for nostalgic Baby Boomers and classic rock fans.

Home Media: One of the more obscure Beach Party imitations, this can currently only be found on YouTube.

YouTube

Happy St. Patrick's Day! - Riverdance: The Animated Adventure

Netflix, 2021

Voices of Pierce Bronsnan, Sam Hardy, Hannah Herman Cortes, and Lilly Singh

Directed by Dave Rosenbaum and Eamonn Butler

Music and Lyrics by Bill Whelan

Let's celebrate St. Patrick's Day with one of the most Irish of all shows. Riverdance began as an Irish dance routine performed between acts at the Eurovision Song Contest. After it got a standing ovation there, it was expanded into a full-length evening of Irish step dance and song. It toured the world in the late 90's and became a sensation, reviving interest in Irish culture and dance. It even played Broadway in 2000. The CD featuring the music topped the chart in Ireland. 

The show was revived for its 25th anniversary in 2020 and did well enough to inspire this animated film. How well does it represent the show? Let's begin with a hand-drawn animated sequence that introduces Keegan (Hardy), his lighthouse keeper grandfather (Bronsnan), and the legend of the Megolocerous Giganteus and find out...

The Story: Keegan is so devastated when his grandfather dies, he can't bring himself to be the DJ for the town's St. Patrick's Day party or even to turn the light on in the lighthouse. This is a grave mistake. The light keeps the Huntsman (Brendan Gleeson) at bay. He hunts the spirit of the Megolocerous, cutting off their horns and letting the river bed dry. The magical deer with their enormous golden horns dance to keep the river flowing. Keegan's Spanish friend Moya (Cortes) teaches her about his Irish heritage and why the deer's dance is so important, while Keegan encourages big Benny (Jermaine Fowler) to try his best in the big hurling game and Moya shows clumsy Penny (Singh) how to find her own dance style.

 The Animation: Just as much of a mish-mash as the story. The elk look almost regal, with those enormous majestic horns, but everything around them is done in a more cartoony style. The two don't always blend well, making the elk look silly when they should look commanding, and trying to make the kids look commanding when they're more rubbery. The backgrounds are better, including the river that does flow realistically. There are some nice sequences, including the dance routine in the rain after the funeral, but most of the numbers just aren't integrated that well (including the funeral number).

The Song and Dance: Given what this is based on, "dance" is the operative word here. They do manage to recreate the energy and vivaciousness of the Irish step dance and Moya's flamenco rather well. The two kids have a lot of fun as the ones caught up in the action, and Bronsnan is appropriately warm as Keegan's beloved grandfather and regal as Patrick, the head of the elk. 

The Numbers: We kick off with a brief shot of what Granddad and Keegan can do at the lighthouse before launching into our first full number. Moya and the chorus sing "Light In the Wings" before the townspeople do our first major dance routine, looking more than a little odd performing a vivacious step routine in all-black at a funeral. We even get some nifty overhead shots at one point. After they're washed down the river in a storm, Moya shows Keegan how she's able to glide and dance on the water like a mystical creature. 

Our first shot of the deer shows them doing a complex Irish step dance in perfect unison, giving us actual Irish step dancing and a good idea of what an animated version of a real Riverdance show would look like. Patrick gets the intricate solo, but Penny falls out of formation. Moya tries to teach Penny flamenco, but it doesn't go well at first. When Keegan closes his eyes, we return to the opening hand-drawn sequence as he imagines his grandfather dancing in his puppet theater and everything he's seen in the river. 

After the Huntsman takes Patrick's antlers, the deer and Moya bring small lights. Penny does a lovely slow flamenco routine with hers, showing that the passionate Latin dance is no less beautiful and intricate than the Irish step ones. The film ends with Keegan happily playing DJ for the town party while Moya shows off her Irish and flamenco moves and everyone else celebrates the return of the river and the light.

What I Don't Like: This is cliched to the hilt. You don't really get to know either of the kids very well before they encounter the deer, and they could do more with Keegan's grief before his great adventure. Singh and especially Fowler are out-of-place as annoying comic relief characters, their obvious American accents grating and sticking out like a sore thumb among the real Irish actors in the cast. The hurling sequence goes on for way too long and doesn't really have much to do with the rest of the movie. Some body function jokes are mainly there for the kid audience and seem a bit out of place as well, and the side plots with the frogs and the sheep mainly serve to pad the film's running time.

The Big Finale: If you want to introduce your kids to Riverdance, you're better off looking up the concerts on video or DVD. They'll get far more of an appreciation for Irish dance and culture than they would from this so-so movie. 

Home Media: This is a Netflix exclusive in the US. 

Netflix

The Firefly

MGM, 1937

Starring Jeanette MacDonald, Allan Jones, Warren William, and Douglass Dumbrille

Directed by Robert Z. Leonard

Music and Lyrics by various

Our other movie diva of the 30's wouldn't star in live opera until late in her career...but her screen vehicles were vastly more entertaining. By the time MacDonald made her first solo vehicle at MGM in 1937 apart from Nelson Eddy, she was one of the top stars in the world. Hoping for a change of pace, she convinced studio head Louis B. Mayer to cast her in this action-oriented operetta and star Allan Jones, who had been a success in two Marx Brothers movies, opposite her. Was she right about that, or should this be left in a dungeon? Let's begin in Madrid, as the people of Spain eagerly welcome their king Ferdinand VII (Tom Rutherford) and his officers discuss the trouble they're having in the Peninsular War with France and England and find out...

The Story: Singer Nina Maria Azara (MacDonald) is really a spy for Ferdinand who gets information from the French soldiers who court her. She flirts with soldier Don Diego (Jones)...who is actually the French spy Captain Andre. He follows her to Vitoria, where he charms her with music and a pretend trip to Venice. For all his romantic notions, she still insists he wait for her in Madrid. Her real destination is Bayonne, where she awaits carrier pigeons carrying information on the meeting there between Ferdinand and Napoleon of France. Though she's able to avoid being caught spying, she's also devastated when the French Chief of Espionage (George Zucco) reveals Andre's real identity.

After Napoleon annexes the throne from Ferdinand, his assistant Rouchemont (William) finds her dancing among gypsies and entertaining French soldiers. She claims she was turned away by the Spanish, but Rouchemont finds papers in her jacket revealing a map for the French lines and a code. Not only does Nina still have one or two more tricks up her sleeve, but Andre hasn't forgotten her. Not even the Battle of Vitoria that finally broke the French military line can separate these lovers, and Nina will find her way back to Andre no matter what.

The Song and Dance: Now I wish MacDonald did more action movies. She does very well as the spy who is willing to seduce any man for her country, until she falls for Andre and has second thoughts. Her voice mostly sounds gorgeous in her numbers, especially when entertaining the troops, and her dancing is incredible - check out that last high kick during the gypsy number! As complicated as the story is, at least it's also pretty original. You're not going to run into too many other musicals revolving around spies falling for each other during the Napoleonic Wars. MGM's unstinting production includes hundreds of extras in the fight scenes and impressive empire-waisted sequined gowns and ruffled bonnets for MacDonald. 

The Numbers: Our first numbers are "Danse Jeanette" and "Love Is Like a Firefly," which Nina performs for the French troops in a cafe. Don Diego is more interested in "A Woman's Kiss." "The Donkey Serenade" wound up being the hit of the film, and it gets the movie's best number, too. The driver and his son on Nina's stagecoach play the number, and Andre rides alongside, singing along. Nina tries not to show her interest, but she's genuinely amused. He sings "Giannina Mia" to Nina as they imagine what it would be like to stroll the canals in Venice. The saucy ballad "He Who Loves and Runs Away" is another number for Nina to sing before the French troops, this time including Rouchemont. 

She admits to sharing "Sympathy" with Andre when she explains how her parents were killed by the Spanish. "When a Maid Comes a Knocking at Your Heart" is her song at Rochemont's chateau for his guests. We then get an "English March" performed by the chorus as the Spanish are forced to accept Napoleon as their king. Actual Spanish folk song "Capriccio Espagnol" provides the instrumental background for Nina's big dance routine with the gypsies, including that high kick. She admits "I Love You Don Diego" as he leaves for battle; "Para la Salud" covers the actual fighting. The movie ends with the lovers riding off into the dusty Spanish plains as they reprise "Giannina Mia" and "The Donkey Serenade."

Trivia: The Firefly debuted on Broadway in 1912 as a vehicle for Emma Trentini, a popular Italian opera singer of the time. It was the first operetta for composer Rudolf Friml, who would continue writing romantic operettas into the 1930's. The original version still occasionally turns up on opera and light opera stages, usually adding "The Donkey Serenade." 

"The Donkey Serenade" was written by Bob Wright, Chet Forest, and Herbert Stothart, but it was based on the instrumental Friml composition "Chanson." 

What I Don't Like: First of all, while I give credit to MGM for originality, the overlong and ridiculously complicated plot they came up with has nothing to do with the 1912 Firefly. The Broadway show revolved around an Italian street singer who passed herself off as a boy in order to follow the young man she has a crush on to Bermuda and eventually became an opera singer. The movie runs way too long at over two hours. The sequences with Nina at Rochemont's home especially drag and probably could have been trimmed. 

Second, Allan Jones may have done well chasing the Marx Brothers around opera stages and the races, but he's at sea and out of his depth in an epic operetta. Other than "The Donkey Serenade" sequence, he lacks MacDonald's sparkle and looks completely out of place. Neither he nor MacDonald are terribly believable as Spanish and French spies during the early 1800's, either. 

The Big Finale: Mainly for fans of MacDonald, Jones, or the lavish film operettas of the 1930's. 

Home Media: Easily available on a remastered Warner Archives DVD and on streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

One Night of Love

Columbia Pictures, 1934

Starring Grace Moore, Tulio Carminati, Lyle Talbot, and Mona Barrie

Directed by Victor Schertzinger

Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we dive into the rarefied world of opera and operetta and get to know two silver-screen divas in our weekday entries. Metropolitan opera and Broadway star Grace Moore originally entered films in 1930, but the two operettas she made for MGM were not successes. She went back to the Met, waiting for MGM to come up with the right vehicle for her. She was considered for the first sound version of The Merry Widow before the lead role went to Jeanette MacDonald. Columbia was just starting to push itself beyond B-films at this point and was shopping around for a big star to headline its musicals. How well does Moore's first Columbia movie come off today? Let's begin in New York City as Mary Barrett (Moore) sings for her family and find out...

The Story: Mary goes to Milan to study voice over her family's objections after she loses a radio contest. She gets a job at the Cafe Roma, where she first encounters voice coach Guilio Monteverdi (Carminati). He's so impressed, he takes her on as a student right there...provided she has no problems with him having total control over her life. Mary has no objections to this at first, especially after he helps her get over a nasty bout with stage fright at her first shows. 

As the years pass and she becomes more popular, she grows tired of his constant need to dominate everything about her. After Lally (Barrie), one of Guilio's former students, flirts with him, Mary gets jealous, accepts a marriage proposal from her friend Bill Houston (Talbot), and refuses to sing that night. Giulio first threatens to replace her with Lally, then proposes to her. That gets her onstage, but she gets fed up again when he advises her against taking a role at New York's Metropolitan Opera. He claims she's not ready, but she's dreamed of playing the Met for years...and then Lally says she's still involved with Guilio...

The Song and Dance: Moore is the main reason to see this today. She has a remarkable naturalness about her for an opera diva, a kind of girl-next-door down-home persona under the diva's temperament. It makes you understand why her movies were so popular in the mid-30's, and why Columbia was willing to take a chance on her. They surround her with a decent production, including the big Carmen and Madama Butterfly segments and some decent gowns. Lyle Talbot is the only actor who comes close to her as the wisecracking millionaire who thinks Mary is just swell and wants to marry her.

The Numbers: We open with Moore trilling the title number for the radio contest she fails to win. She's joined by the folks from Cafe Roma for "The Sextet" from Lucia di Lammermoor. "Ciribiribin" is the vivacious solo at the cafe that convinces Guilio to take her on as his student. She's having so much fun, the cafe patrons eventually join in. We get two numbers from La Traviata at the show where she gets stage fright, "Sempre Libera" and "Ah! fors e lui." She and Guilio rehearse the old folk song "The Last Rose of Summer." The "Habernera" aria from Carmen is what finally gets her into the Met. She has less luck with the famous (and famously difficult) "Un Bel Di" solo from Madama Butterfly in the finale. 

Trivia: First movie to win an Oscar for Best Score. Moore would also be nominated for Best Actress.

What I Don't Like: Pretty much everything else. The story is silly and boring. The rest of the cast doesn't get anywhere near Moore or Talbot, and Talbot doesn't really have that much to play. Carminati is so dull and plain that you can't understand why his two female pupils are fighting over him, and Barrie is more shrill than threatening. Other than that huge recreation of the Met that apparently took up most of the Columbia soundstage, the sets are even more boring, without a drop of Italian flavor other than some real Italian character actors.

The Big Finale: At press time, this is Grace Moore's only vehicle that can be easily found online, making it pretty much your only option if you're a fan of her or opera in general.

Home Media: As I said, this is currently Moore's only vehicle that can be found easily online. In fact, streaming is your best bet. None of her films are legitimately on DVD or Blu-Ray at press time. 

Amazon Prime

YouTube

Musicals On Streaming - Charming (2018)

Netflix, 2018

Voices of Demi Lovato, Wilmer Valderrama, Jim Cummings, and Nia Vardalos

Directed by Ross Venokur

Music and Lyrics by various

This was not the first time Vanguard Animation dipped into the fairy tale parody well. Their second production after their debut was Happily N' Ever After from 2006, a spoof of fairy tale conventions that was a huge flop with critics and at the box office. That movie's failure didn't stop them from returning to the fantasy well almost a decade later. This time, they've traded imitating the Shrek films for imitating Disney and their female-oriented action musicals. How does the story of a Prince Charming who can charm anyone but a certain female thief look now? Let's begin with a narrator explaining why Prince Phillipe (Valderrama) is in big trouble and find out...

The Story: Prince Phillipe was cursed with charm as a child by the wicked sorceress Nemeny Neverwish (Vardalos). He attracts every woman who sees him...until his 21st birthday, when all love will vanish from the kingdom. King Charming (Cummings) gets very fed up with his son after he's engaged to Snow White (Avril Lavigne), Cinderella (Ashley Tisdale), and Sleeping Beauty (G.E.M) and forces him to go on the Gauntlet. This terrifying quest up to Fire Mountain will show his son what it's like to be truly brave and help him decide who his true love is once and for all.

Phillipe is joined by what he thinks is his guide Lenny. Her name is really Lenore Quinonez (Lovato), a sly thief who has agreed to lead the prince up the mountain in exchange for money after she's caught robbing the princesses. Phillipe has already fallen for Lenore when she's the first woman who doesn't automatically grovel at his feet, but she's not as impressed with him. He can't do much more than be a cute guy, though he does manage to rescue her from the enormous chief of an Amazon tribe (Tara Strong). Lenore's now thinking he might be her true love, but Nemeny isn't about to let her break that curse. It'll take a "leap of faith" for the two to finally prove that there's a lot more to true love than falling for a pretty face.

The Animation: Vanguard's trademark angular designs are front and center here. That works on characters like Prince Phillipe and Leonore who are supposed to be all arms and legs. It's not so great for others. The princesses look less pretty and rounded and more like all sharp angles. Don't get me started on the dated and ridiculous designs of the Amazon tribe, though the Half-Oracle and her number do come off a bit better. There's even some nifty special effects there. 

The Song and Dance: The cast is the thing here. Lovato gives Leonore a certain strength that makes it even harder to digest when her character gets a lot interesting in the second half, after she falls for Phillipe. Tisdale, G.E.M, and Lavigne are hilarious as the three jilted fiancees, especially Lavigne as traumatized Snow White. Cummings gives the king a great deal of gravity as well. Sia also does well in her brief role as the Half-Oracle, who has by far the most memorable segment in a trippy number where she explains how Phillipe could be Leonore's true love. And as annoying as Phillipe can be, at least he's also a genuinely nice guy who really does want to do what's right for the ladies chasing him and his kingdom.

The Numbers: The movie opens with the three princesses telling us about their "Trophy Boy" in a montage depicting him being chased by every woman in the kingdom. "Not Changing" covers Leonore and her cardinal friend escaping the guards with their stolen treasure and fleeing into town. "Balladino" is the Half-Oracle's dreamy, memorably weird number as she shows Lenore who her true love is, and why it's important she find him. Lenore dreams of how "Magical" it'll be to sing and dance with Phillipe in a dream sequence right before their botched date at the inn. Leonore says she'll "Soar" after Phillipe announces what he intends to do to eliminate the curse. We briefly get "Somebody to You" over the montage of Phillipe and Leonore's wedding and honeymoon before the title song plays over the credits. 

What I Don't Like: This fairy-tale satire is about fifteen years out of date...and the badly and annoyingly stereotyped Amazon-type native tribe has been out of date for at least sixty. Lenore and the princesses are supposed to be the ones in the wrong for either submitting too quick to Phillipe's charm, or not submitting at all. Phillipe is such an idiot, though, that you end up feeling sorry for the princesses instead. They're all pretty likable, if rather shallow. I have no idea how Phillipe doesn't see through Leonore's ridiculous male disguise. She's about as male as the princesses. 

Lenore is a far more interesting character in the start, when she's more annoyed with Phillipe and how useless he is. I wish she could have resisted him a lot longer. Even later, she shouldn't have had to give up what she was for him so quickly. Phillipe isn't so much charming as he is a spoiled daddy's boy who gets by on everyone doing everything for him. He may be nice, but he's so witless and annoying, you wish Leonore would have pushed him harder into gaining a little backbone. 

The Big Finale: Vanguard's second attempt at a fairy tale spoof has all the charm of curdled wedding cake icing and is only slightly better than the awful Happily N'Ever After. Only if you're a really, really huge fan of the cast or Shrek-eque fairy tale satire.

Home Media: This is currently a Netflix exclusive. 

Netflix

Cult Flops - Madam Satan

MGM, 1930

Starring Kay Johnson, Reginald Denny, Roland Young, and Lillian Roth

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille

Music by Herbert Stothart and Jack King; Lyrics by Clifford Grey and Elsie Janis

DeMille, best known today for his biblical spectacles like the silent and sound versions of The Ten Commandments, made only one musical. He joined MGM in 1928 and proceeded to make his first sound film, the prison drama Dynamite. Looking for a jazzier successor, he literally went for jazz. Musicals were still all the rage when pre-production began in early 1930. Few people working in Hollywood escaped song and dance, and DeMille was no exception. The first half was a drawing room farce not far removed from his silent successes like The Affairs of Anatol, but the second hour...well, let's say it's something else. Just how bizarre does this movie get? Let's begin with sweet, demure housewife Angela (Johnson) as she waits for her husband Bob (Denny) to come home and find out...

The Story: Bob and his friend Jimmy Wade (Young) come home late, lying about being out with a certain "Mrs. Brooks." "Mrs. Brooks" is actually Trixie (Roth), a chorus girl Bob's been having an affair with. Jimmy lies and says she's his wife. Angela knows they're fibbing up their sleeves, but her attempt to counter with a lie of her own about leaving Bob and staying with Jimmy and his wife ends with her hiding in the blankets while Jimmy tosses out a lot of excuses to his best friend. Trixie turns up here and claims Angela can't muster up enough sexiness to keep her husband around.

Angela is determined to prove otherwise when they're both invited to a huge masquerade party on Jimmy's dirigible. She dons a bad French accent and a sequined dress that leaves little to the imagination and calls herself "Madam Satan." Bob's smitten, but they both end up learning a lesson in what matters when the blimp is damaged in a storm, and they may end up going down with it if they can't find parachutes.

The Song and Dance: "Bizarre" doesn't begin to do this supremely weird dive into action extravaganza justice. The staid romantic comedy in the first half barely gives you an idea of what's ahead during the second hour. Young and Roth have by far the most fun here as the befuddled best buddy and the vivacious show girl who believes in looking out for number one. Johnson does better once she sheds her inhibitions on board that doomed blimp, and she's a decent singer, too. The lavish costumes and gigantic sets defy description, especially the jagged representations of electricity on the wild "Ballet Mechanique" that depicts working gears. The special effects remain pretty darn good to this day, too, especially in the finale when the blimp is going down. 

The Numbers: We begin with "Live and Love Today," as Angela's maid Martha (Elsa Peterson) encourages her to fight for her man. Trixie really throws herself into the jazzy "Low Down" for the guys at Jimmy's apartment, belting and shimmying with verve. She has almost as much fun doing a reprise at the party in her pheasant plumage. "The Cat Walk" and "We're Going Somewhere" brings all of the partygoers in their decadent and insane costumes onto the dirigible. The instrumental "Ballet Mechanique" has all of those zizag-clad dancers trying to look incredibly serious in razor-sharp costumes as they depict clocks, gears, and lightning. 

Young takes us into the "Girl Auction," as he sells kisses for the prettiest and best-dressed ladies. "Meet Madam" brings us the lady in question, in all of her barely-dressed, exotic, insane glory. Madame finally gets her way when Bob sweeps her into the waltz "All I Know Is You're In My Arms."

Trivia: The "Ballet Mechanique" was originally filmed in Multicolor, but current prints are only in black and white. A second ballad for Bob and Angela, "This Is Love," is also missing. 

That's Cecil B. DeMille himself as the voice of the radio announcer near the end of the movie.

What I Don't Like: Let's start with Bob. He's such a bland jerk, I have no idea why Trixie and Angela were fighting over him. They both would have been smarter to just walk out. Denny does slightly better on the blimp when he's fawning over Madam Satan, but he's never intriguing enough to warrant her vamping. You almost hope he goes down with the ship.

Second, did I mention how damn odd this is? For one thing, there's the blatant tone problem. No one ever seemed to figure out what this movie should be. It begins as a domestic comedy, switches to a screwball farce when Jimmy's hiding Angela, then turns into a fanciful operetta after the party starts on the blimp before ending as an early example of a disaster movie when the blimp goes down. You'll get whiplash every time the movie switches styles again. The music's totally unmemorable, and DeMille never could figure out how to set it up gracefully. People start singing and go back to talking with no rhyme or reason. 

The Big Finale: For all the problems and sheer weirdness, this is still recommended for fans of DeMille, the early talkie era, or camp enthusiasts looking for something totally different in their moviegoing.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, the former in a remastered edition from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Amazon Prime

The Dance of Life

Paramount, 1929

Starring Hal Skelly, Nancy Carroll, Dorothy Revier, and Charles D. Brown

Directed by John Cromwell and A. Edward Sutherland

Music by Richard A. Whiting; Lyrics by Sam Coslow and Leo Robin

We celebrate Women's History Month with two early film musicals revolving around female-focused stories. The Dance of Life started out as Burlesque, a hit Broadway play with music in 1927. Barbara Stanwyck had her first major exposure as the feisty wife of an alcoholic stage star, but she wasn't even considered for the film. Carroll was one of the biggest stars of the late 20's and early 30's. She was pretty, smart, tough, and versatile, easily moving from comedy to drama to musicals at the drop of a hat. Paramount cast her alongside original stage star Skelly, along with several lesser-known character actors. How well do they do with the dark and gritty story? Let's begin backstage at a vaudeville house, as Bonny King (Carroll) tries to audition and find out...

The Story: Bonny's audition isn't a success, but she did impress Ralph "Skid" Johnson (Skelly), a comic with the show who was fired when he complained about her treatment. After hitting it off over a Bunsen burner at the train station, they decide to work together and get a better job at a burlesque company in Milwaukee. Not only are they hired, but they eventually fall for each other. Skid asks Bonny to marry him, but his alcoholism comes between them on their wedding night. Not to mention, comedienne Sylvia (Revier) is also in love with Skid and tries to get between them.

Skid is offered a job in a big Follies show, but Bonny isn't asked to join him. She encourages him to take it anyway. Unfortunately, the show's success drives him to the bottle and Sylvia's arms. After Bonny catches him in a speakeasy kissing Sylvia, she walks out and threatens divorce. Rancher Harvey Howell (Ralph Theodore) wants to marry her, but Skid isn't doing nearly as well. His drinking is effecting his performances, and he's back in burlesque. His newest show may not go on if Bonny can't get there in time to sober him up and remind him how much they mean to each other.

The Song and Dance: This wound up being a bit of a surprise. Carroll and Skelly are excellent as the faithful wife and loser of a comic in this searing look at the seamier side of show business. Though the grotesque dancers and low comics form something of a family for the duo, they also blatantly encourage Skid's drinking and Bonny's reliance on him. Burlesque as seen here is not a pretty place. From realistically corny numbers to grimy, sweaty dressing rooms, we get the full-on darker side of show business. Even the fact that Skelly is a bit on the plain side is pretty realistic, making it even more heartbreaking when this everyman comic goes on his downward slide. Sutherland apparently had to wring a good performance out of recalcitrant Carroll, but whatever he did worked. She's a decent dancer and does so well as the faithful, tough little Bonny, you can't help but feel she deserves so much better in the end.

The Numbers: We open with Bonny's attempt at what looks like a Charleston, but the pianist apparently doesn't play the song right. Bonny and Skid do a little dance routine in the train station, proving they do have chemistry. Our first chorus number is "King of Jazzmania." Not only is it barely-heard on the terrible copy at Tubi, it's also not very good. The ladies can't sing in harmony or stay in step. Skid does better when he literally tumbles down to the stage for his rubber-legged solo. Bonny does "Cuddlesome Baby" among the men in the audience, but Skid isn't happy when one of those men get a little too grabby for his and Bonny's liking. 

The best number goes to Skid. He sings "Tru Blu Lou," a sweet but corny ballad about a faithful lady and the man who didn't appreciate her laying right before the camera. The intimacy as Skid smokes and relates the song gives it an almost elegant feeling that makes it very different from some of the noisier numbers in the early talkies era. "Ladies of the Dance" is the big Follies routine, with chorus girls in towering headdresses parading before the camera. The lavish costumes lose something without the color, but they're still pretty impressive. Marjorie Kane comes out at the end to introduce "The Flippity Flop" with Skid and the chorus. Skid's rubber-kneed comic dance is almost as impressive. 

Bonny sings the sad ballad "In the Gloaming" for her ex-husband and fiancee, but her heart certainly isn't in it. Skid tries to pep up the proceedings, but he's clearly drunk and hiding it. Skid is supposed to be "The Mightiest Matador" in the burlesque finale, but he can barely stand. Bonny encourages him to stay with the number and reprises their dance to "Swanee River" in the finale, as they did early-on when they were talking about getting married.

Trivia: The Follies numbers were originally filmed in 2-strip Technicolor. While a bit of the color is said to survive, current prints are only in black and white. 

The name The Dance of Life was actually taken from a then-daring book on sex.

Burlesque would be remade twice, as Swing High, Swing Low in 1937 with Carole Lombard and Fred MacMurray and When My Baby Smiles at Me in 1948 with Betty Grable and Dan Dailey.

What I Don't Like: First of all, while this moves pretty well for the time period, we do get occasional reminders of this being an early talkie whenever people are standing and talking, or they start a dance number and it's filmed from the front, with barely any movement. That's fine for Skelly's low-key "Tru Blu Lou," but it just makes the chorus numbers look static. The loss of the color means that the Follies numbers are blurred and indistinct, occasionally making it hard to tell what anyone is.

Carroll and Skelly's strong performances don't mask the heavy cliches here. This has been borrowed from over and over again since the original play debuted, including the two official remakes mentioned in the trivia section. The up and down story isn't anything you haven't seen before or won't see again from the 20's onwards. And...to tell the truth, I can't help thinking that nowadays, Bonny would either go back to the rancher or strike out on her own. She deserved a lot better than a man who didn't want to be changed.

The Big Finale: Worth seeing if you're a fan of Caroll, backstage melodrama, or want to check it a really good early talkie drama. 

Home Media: Not officially available on disc at press time. It's in the public domain, so it can be found easily online, though the prints are usually not the best quality.

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