A Salute to Dolly Parton - Blue Valley Songbird

Lifetime, 1999

Starring Dolly Parton, John Terry, Billy Dean, and Beth Grant

Directed by Richard A. Colla

Music and Lyrics by Dolly Pardon and others

We salute one of the true originals of country music with this down-home musical drama. Lifetime began in 1984 as a merger of two earlier cable channels, carrying health and medical-related programming. They switched to talk shows after a year, and by the late 80's, were the home on cable for women-related programming. Parton made this movie with them in 1999, when they were at the height of their popularity as the place for movies and programming with women and their lives in mind. While Dolly wasn't as successful as she had been in the 1980's, she continued to steadily release albums and had even been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame that year. How does she do in this melodrama inspired by the title song off her album Hungry Again? Let's begin with singer Leanna Taylor (Pardon) flirting with a cop as she rushes to a concert and find out...

The Story: Leanna has been playing with her band and her manager and boyfriend Hank (Terry) for fifteen years. Hank is jealous and controlling, refusing to let Leanna chose anything from her songs to where she plays. She's been falling for her guitarist and fellow songwriter Bobby Grissom (Dean), who was working on a number with her. Hank's not thrilled when he sees their chemistry onstage and fires Bobby. 

Meanwhile, Leanna is also coming to terms with the death of her father (Bob Morrison) and her mother Ora (Peggy Walton-Walker) not having responded to her letters. Leanna's father was abusive and domineering, refusing to let her sing for anyone but him. She wouldn't even go to his funeral. It's not until Hank's friend Ruby (Grant), who owns the restaurant where Leanna plays frequently, talks to a major producer Leanna once knew that she begins to realize how much she's let Hank take over her life, and where hear heart really lays.

The Song and Dance: Parton and her music are really the only reasons to see this southern-fried melodrama. Even with her strange orange-ish hair, Parton always gives 100 percent to even the corniest lines. There are some nice songs here, and with her producing as well as starring in this movie, it goes without saying that the music comes across well. I also like Kimberly Kates as a band member's pregnant wife who constantly worries he'll stray on the road. 

The Numbers: Our first number takes us onstage at Ruby's, with Leanna and her band performing "I Hope You're Never Happy." She and Bobby first work on "We Might Be In Love" at her home. They perform the traditional "Angel Band" onstage while remembering how she first sang it in her church in Blue Valley as a teen. It's when Leanna and Bobby perform "We Might Be Love" onstage that Hank realizes his lady is in love with someone else. Unfortunately, her zither version of "Wildflowers" onstage is cut off before we hear all of it. She performs "My Blue Tears" onstage a little later and a bit of "Amazing Grace" when she finally brings herself to see her father's grave. She and Bobby duet on "Runaway Feeling" after he returns to the band. We hear her recording the title song in the finale.

What I Don't Like: Parton and her music are really the only things that stand out. The cliches run hard and heavy, especially in the second half, when she's trying to come to terms to losing a father she wasn't even sure she loved. Neither Dean nor Terry are especially compelling or interesting, making you wonder why Leanna would stay with either of them. The production is obviously a cheap cable movie; the songs are pretty much a matter of Dolly bringing her own recent material. 

The Big Finale: This dull melodrama is for true fans of Dolly and Lifetime romance movies only. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, the latter often free with commercials.

DVD

Tubi

Musicals On TV - Camp Rock 3

Disney, 2026

Starring Liamani Segura, Hudson Stone, Sherry Cola, and Malachi Barton

Directed by Veronica Rodriguez

Music and Lyrics by various 

The Camp Rock movies were among the biggest musicals ever on the Disney Channel, probably just under the High School Musical films. Talk of a third movie had been tossed around since the second was a massive success in 2010, but Demi Lovato ran into scandal and the Jonas Brothers fell out of popularity. One way or another, plans for the third film were pushed aside until the film was formally announced in September 2025. Is the new generation of campers just as talented as the previous one, or should this camp finally be closed for good? Let's start with excited new camper Sage Scott (Segura) and her brother Desi (Stone) as their parents drive them to the camp and find out...

The Story: Sage is thrilled to be at the camp where rock legends like the now-major star Mitchie Torres (Demi Lovato) first made their mark. She's determined to become a great singer, leaving the band she had with Desi to join a prestigious music school. Desi's resentful and angry at Sage for what he sees as her abandoning him. His sister is just excited to be among fellow music-lovers like goofy drummer Cliff (Casey Trotter), sweet cellist and classical-music lover Rosie (Lumi Pollack), upbeat dancer Callie (Brooklyn Pitts), and Fletch (Barton), who has a bad boy reputation after he arrives in a cop car. There's also social media influencer Maddie (Ava Jean) and her two back-up dancers, who think they run the camp.

Rock group Connect 3 (the Jonas Brothers) have reunited for a tour, but they need an opening act after their original choice broke up. Their manager Lark (Cola) holds a contest at the camp, with the winner joining Connect 3 on the tour. As the kids take part in three challenges leading up to Final Jam, Sage grows to know each of them better. She grows especially fond of Fletch, who writes love songs and isn't the bad kid everyone assumes he is. Maddie, furious after Sage bumps her and gets her out during the second challenge so Desi can move on, does everything she can to discourage the finalists, from destroying their most prized possessions to filming them on a bus during the last challenge when the kids aren't supposed to have a phone at the camp. It's Sage who learns the lesson, though, when she hurts Fletch to save her career, then realizes that her new friends are more important than any contest.

The Song and Dance: First and foremost, this one gets points for kids who are a lot more likeable than the ones in the original film. Sage may be focused on her career, but she's not a bad kid and genuinely shows that she cares, especially in the second half once she apologizes to her brother. There's also references to the original films, from bits of songs to Sage finding Mitichie's original song notebook. The musical numbers remain the stand-outs, with the chorus numbers in particular awash in energy.

The Numbers: We open with Sage performing "Brand New Day" as the kids arrive at Camp. "Come On Over" shows Connect 3 filming a music video...and reveals that they're no longer getting along. The Camp Rock kids have more fun with "One Beat Away" in a high-energy chorus routine after the contest is announced. "Play My Music" is a montage of the campers playing the song as the first challenge, in every style from Rosie's classical cello to a salsa dancer to a hip-hop performer and even a young Sinatra imitator. "Tomorrow" is Fletch's sweet acoustic ballad that he writes after interviewing Sage for the songwriter's workshop. 

Fletch and Desi have a brief jam session that ends with Desi joking about Fletch's interest in his sister. "Start the Party" is the second challenge. The kids are supposed to show how well they can dance, but it ends with Sage bumping Maddie out to keep Desi, who doesn't dance, in. Angry, Maddie covers their most loved items in sequins and paint, leading to them throwing paint around to the tune of "It's On." Furious after the mess incident, Lark makes the last challenge having to live in a camp bus for 24 hours. The kids aren't happy at first, but the forced confinement turns into their group number "Echo." Desi and Sage finally reconcile singing "Rhythm's Only Right." 

The first number at the final jam goes to Cliff, who does a comic drum rap solo to "My Own Drum." Rosie's cello number is artier, until she breaks out the black-clad dancers and silver halter to "Play It My Way." Callie helps Desi and his dancers with the upbeat "Get Ready."  Fletch doesn't need dancers to reprise a now-longer "Tomorrow." Sage encourages Connect 3 to choose the other kids before singing "Work In Progress" without a band. The other kids eventually join her as they admit they may not be perfect, but they're looking forward to growing, as people and musicians. Connect 3 and the kids join for "We Rock" in the finale. The five finalists, Callie, and Maddie and her dancers perform "What It Takes" over the end credits.

What I Don't Like: The kids may be likable, but they're also bland. This manages to be even more cliched than the previous two movies. You can pretty much figure out what's going to happen with the contest way before the kids and Connect 3 do. Conflict is settled way too easily, especially after Maddie pretty much sells out Fletch to Lark over the song leak to save her career. Maddie and her back up dancers don't have nearly enough to do other than ruining their stuff. They probably should have been left in a little longer, or even made the final group. 

In fact, a lot of threads are picked up and dropped. There's a side plot with Callie teaching Desi to dance that's ignored when Callie vanishes mid-way through the film and isn't acknowledged again (even when Callie returns for the finale), and another one with Cliff having a crush on Rosie. Rose's transformation from demure classical cellist to artsy hard-rock performer is a little too abrupt, too. Wish we could have seen more of how that changed happened. 

The Big Finale: In the end, I suspect this franchise is just too bland for me, no matter how many stars it produces. For those who were huge fans of the original films or are in the appropriate 8 to 14 age range.

Home Media: This is a Disney Plus exclusive at the moment.

Disney Plus

Let's Go Native

Paramount, 1930

Starring Jeanette MacDonald, Jack Oakie, Richard "Skeets" Gallagher, and James Hall

Directed by Leo McCarey

Music by Richard A. Whiting; Lyrics by George Marion Jr.

Let's take a summer vacation to a remote tropical island in this hilarious early romp. Director McCarey had been directing short comedies featuring Laurel and Hardy and Charley Chase since the early 20's. This was only his third sound film and his fourth feature, but he already knew his way around a slapstick gag. It wound up being a surprise hit in 1930 and garnered so many positive comparisons to the Marx Brothers vehicle Animal Crackers, McCarey would go on to direct the Brothers' Duck Soup in 1934. How does this nutty Depression-era tale look nowadays? Let's begin with two dapper Argentinians as they look on at the home of costume designer and singer Joan Wood (MacDonald) and find out...

The Story: Joan got hit hard by the start of the Depression and is heavily in debt. She's done the costumes for a Broadway show that's on its way to Argentina, but she won't get paid until they're in Buenos Aires. Her boyfriend Wally Wendall (Hall) wants to marry her, but she won't marry him until he gets a job. His wealthy grandfather (Charles Sellon) doesn't approve of Joan and has disinherited him. He wants him to marry Constance Cook (Kay Francis), the daughter of the owner of a cruise ship line. Also onboard is Voltaire McGinnis (Oakie), a cab driver who wants to get his money from Wally and his friend Basil Pistol (William Austin) after a freak accident.

While onboard, Voltaire falls for Constance, while Wally continues to pursue Joan. They all end up stranded on a remote island when the ship goes down. The natives are all beautiful women, to the  delight of most of the men. They sound and behave like Brooklyn chorus girls because the "king" of the island is Jerry (Gallagher), a New York native who was shipwrecked on the island and was dubbed its king. Voltaire woos Constance and plots with Basil to sell Jerry's pearl-crusted crown once they get back. Wally's grandfather finally turns up to rescue them, but Joan knows how to deal with him - and Voltaire's scheming - now. She leverages the island and its riches in exchange for marrying his son, but the island is volcanic, and it may not be around for much longer...

The Song and Dance: This may be one of the funniest original musicals from the early talkie era. Everyone is having a ball with the unique and wild shipwreck story. Even MacDonald, who apparently wasn't happy about ending up in this, seems to enjoy swaying in her grass skirt. Oakie, Austin, and Gallagher have a lot more fun as the two guys who get caught up in Joan's money woes and the one who managed to "civilize" paradise. There's some great gags here, from the opening with the furniture being carried out of Joan's house even as she awakens for breakfast to the men on board watching as they all knock off each other's hats (and how that ties into the fate of Jerry's pearl crown in the finale). There's no attempt to tie the songs in. They blatantly come up with the silliest, spoofiest cues for songs that, more often than not, are there just to be catchy. 

The Numbers: We open with Wally and Joan singing one last song on Joan's piano, the ballad "My Mad Moment," before it's repossessed. Joan does a whirling Apache dance before we go into a montage of musical numbers from the big show, ending with Joan and one of the dancers performing an Argentinian-style tango. "It Seems to Be Spring" is a rehearsal on the boat, as Joan and Wally sing on a stage where snow is falling, even as they strip down to warm-weather clothes. The snow stops briefly, enough for bears to do their own wooing...and them to get covered in snow. Voltaire gets the ladies on-board going with his lively chorus number "Joe Jazz." This turns into a full-on tap routine, with the dancers in top hats and hot-pants dance costumes. 

The title song chorus number on the island starts with Voltaire and the native girls doing their idea of a hula. Basil joins in for the stuffy British version before the girls go into Busby Berkeley-style overhead formations. Voltaire's idea of a romantic song is "I've Got a Yen for You." Constance even joins in at one point. 

What I Don't Like: First of all, Universal needs to do some serious restoration on this one. The copies currently on YouTube are horrible, blurry, jumpy, and with fuzzy sound. Second, this is obviously not for those looking for a darker story or one that makes sense. This is pure goofiness all the way. McCarey's skill makes this a little livelier than most early musicals, but it's still an early talkie and can occasionally get a bit static (mostly in the first half). And I kind of wish they'd gotten to the island earlier. They spend more than half of a 75-minute movie setting up the finale. 

The Big Finale: If you're a fan of any of the stars, are looking for something light and funny to watch on a summer's day, and can deal with the shape the copies online are in, you'll have a "vine" time going native with some of the wackiest goofballs of the pre-Code era.

Home Media: As mentioned, this is currently on YouTube in blurry copies with fuzzy sound. 

YouTube

Cult Flops - Bitter Sweet (1933)

United Artists, 1933

Starring Anna Neagle, Fernand Gravey, Miles Mander, and Ivy St. Helier

Directed by Herbert Wilcox

Music and Lyrics by Noel Coward

Let's begin this month with another rediscovered operetta treasure, this time from England. Noel Coward's melancholy operetta made it's debut on the West End in 1929. It was such a massive hit, its producer C.B Cochran brought it to Broadway a few months later. It didn't do as well there, in the original cast with Evelyn Laye or a 1934 revival with Evelyn Herbert. Back in England, its success was enough for Wilcox to adapt this for up-and-coming English stars Anna Neagle and Fernand Gravey. Did they do better than the glossy but dull MGM remake with Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy in 1940? Let's begin in 1929 London with a party in full swing and find out...

The Story: The party is for Dolly Chamberlain (Pat Paterson) on the eve of her marriage to a wealthy nobleman, but she really loves poor musician Vincent (Hugh Williams). They're caught in an embrace by elderly Sarah Millick (Neagle). Sarah doesn't mind at all. It turns out that in 1875, she ran out on her own pompous and dull suitor (Esme Percy) to marry the handsome and dashing Viennese songwriter Carl Linden (Gravey). 

They lived in Vienna, happy but poor, working at a cafe frequented by soldiers and ladies of the evening. He's the bandleader. She dances with the soldiers, including Captain Auguste Lutte (Mander). They're hoping to earn enough money to start their own cafe, with her singing Carl's music. She does manage to befriend Carl's former lover Manon Le Crevette (Helier), a singer at the club, and he impresses the club's owner Herr Schlick (Clifford Heatherly). Lutte, however, is interested in more than Sarah's singing. Carl's attempt to defend his wife's honor after Lutte makes improper advances ends in tragedy. Sarah, however, has never forgotten Carl and his music...and encourages Dolly to follow her heart her heart and marry the man she truly loves.

The Song and Dance: At the very least, I do give them credit for including some songs that didn't make it into the 1940 version, including the other hit from this, Manon's rueful "If Love Were All." Neagle is simply radiant as Sarah, especially during the first half when she's a young woman truly in love for the first time. She just glows, to the point where I can see why director Wilcox married her a decade later. Gravey is equally charming as the Austrian musician who adores her. (And at least they're both closer to the appropriate ages for their roles.) Heilier repeats her West End role as the worldly Frenchwoman. This is slower than the Hollywood version, but Wilcox's British sensibilities have a theatricality to them that's appealing and works with the melodramatic material. 

The Numbers: We open with an instrumental chorus number as we see dancing legs in ruffly gowns. When Sarah overhears Dolly and Vincent talking, she sings "The Call of Life" to explain her own story...and that dissolves nicely into the young Sarah in 1875, all ruffles and bustles and golden ringlets, finishing the number. Carl wistfully performs "If You Could Only Come With Me" at his last music lesson for Sarah. Sarah's shocked, but she cheers up when they perform the longing ballad "I'll See You Again." The chorus performs the instrumental "The Last Dance" waltz as Sarah realizes she can't go through with marrying stuffy Hugh. 

Our first number at the cafe is Manon's "Bonne Nuit, Merci" as she entertains the soldiers and their female companions. They perform "Ladies of the Town" to explain their own positions in Viennese society. Manon gives her own rueful observations on life in "If Love Were All." At home, Sarah and Carl sing about how they want their "Dear Little Cafe" to show off Sarah's singing and Carl's songs. "Tokay" is the big drinking number for the Captain, the soldiers, and the patrons of the cafe. Manon performs "Kiss Me" while the Captain glares and Sarah flees. The Captain and Sarah are dancing to "Kiss Me" when the Captain gropes Sarah and Carl steps in, prompting their duel. Back in 1929, Vincent reprises "I'll See You Again" as a jazzier instrumental number after Sarah fades in, singing it to the dying Carl. Sarah ends the movie singing it one more time for the camera.

What I Don't Like: Despite being the version Coward approved of, it still doesn't use all of the original show. The 1940 version did get in most of the third act, where Sarah becomes a star in Viennese operetta and marries a nobleman who also loved her. Several songs are missing, including Sarah's "What Is Love," the duet "Forevermore and a Day," and Sarah's big operetta number "Zigeuner." On the other hand, this does use the opening and closing with Sarah as an elderly woman that the 1940 version dropped. Not to mention United Artists/MGM could give this some restoration. The copy on Tubi is intact but a bit fuzzy.

The Big Finale: Charming and well worth checking out for fans of Coward, Neagle, or vintage operetta. 

Home Media: It can currently be found for free with commercials on Tubi. (And don't let the posters used to advertise this discourage you - for some reason, they use the poster for the MacDonald-Eddy version as the thumbnail.)

Tubi

Musicals On TV - Descendants: Wicked Wonderland

Disney, 2026

Starring Kylie Cantrall, Malia Baker, Liamani Segura, and Leonardo Nam

Directed by Kimmy Gatewood

Music and Lyrics by various

We're going to stay with Disney, but head to the Disney Channel for another fantasy revolving around teen protagonists. Descendants: Rise of Red was a massive hit on the Disney Channel and Disney Plus in 2024, one of the biggest hit made-for-TV films they'd had in years. Them putting out a sequel was probably inevitable, though it apparently wasn't announced until February 2025. After changing their lives via time travel in the previous film, how do Red (Cantrall) and Chloe (Baker) react to their new worlds? Let's begin, not with the girls, but with our narrator, Chessy, the daughter of the Cheshire Cat (Awkwafina), as she explains that all is not what it seems to be in Wonderland, and find out...

The Story: After everything that happened in the previous movie, Chloe and Red come to the conclusion that time travel is too dangerous and hide the magical pocket watch in the Wonderland Vault. Red has the most changes to deal with. Not only is her mother Bridget, the Queen of Hearts (Rita Ora), a lot kinder than she used to be, but Red now has a little sister, the ever-positive Pink (Segura). Chloe is frustrated that her mother Cinderella (Brandy) is now even stricter and seems to have forgotten her scrappy adolescence. 

Red's less happy that her former tutor Maddox Hatter (Nam) has really gone mad searching for the pocket watch after he witnessed them use it in the past. He and his son Max (Brendon Tremblay) were forced to leave Wonderland, but returned after the ban on villains ended. He gets his revenge on Bridget by stealing her magic cards and taking over Wonderland. Red and Chloe are joined by Max, Pink, Red's awkward and sweet crush Luis Madrigal (Alexandro Byrd), and their friends from Aurodon Prep as they make their way to Hearts Castle to rescue Bridget and Cinderella. Chloe, however, is getting fed up with Red doing things her way and ignoring her, and Red wishes Chloe were a little bolder, leading to a rift in their relationship...one Chessy and Maddox manage to manipulate as they move closer to the castle.

The Song and Dance: I definitely think this one improves on the previous film. For one thing, no confusing time travel cliches here. Wonderland is seen in all of its glowing, neon and fluff glory, and it's a delight. The costumes and sets remain incredible, especially for a TV movie. As good as Cantrall and Baker are, Ora and Brandy steal the movie as their mothers, who manage to reconcile and bond when their daughters are unable to. They even get one of the movie's best songs. The music and choreography are also excellent, with "Dancing With the Enemy" and the "True to My Heart" finale as the stand-outs.

The Numbers: We open with the chorus number "Perfect Princess," as both girls are shocked to see all of the rules that are now expected of them and how different their lives are. "Mad" is Maddox's villain number as he accuses Bridget of not giving him a chance and steals her cards. "Did You Hear About Them?" ask Luis, Hazel Hook (Kiara Romero), and the kids of Auradon Prep, many of whom are not impressed with "perfect" Chloe and Red. Chloe, Red, Luis, and the kids find themselves "Dancing With the Enemy" as they mirror the moves of chess pieces on a massive chess board. One wrong move, and the kids disappear. Luis and Red wish that "For Once In My Life" they could do what they want and be who they want to be.

 Bridget and Cinderella reminisce about school and "The Girl I Used To Be" when they're Maddox's captives in Heart Castle. Max gives the hurt and confused Chloe a bracelet that makes her "Heartless"...and willing to betray Red. Trapped in the moving maze without her friends, Red wonders "Who I Am," until Pink finds her and reminds her. Reunited with their mothers, the girls and their friends encourage each other to "Go Live It" and enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what the past or future brings. The movie ends with a big chorus number to "True to Your Heart" from the animated version of Mulan. 

What I Don't Like: This movie did not need 8,000 characters all over the place. It mainly focuses on Red, Chloe, Luis, Max, and the two mothers. Anyone else, including Pink, Hazel, Robbie Hood (Joel Oulette), and Felix Facillier (Zavien Garrett), are window dressing and barely get any development or screen time. They could have used Maddox a bit more to do too and let us see his actual plans. Speaking of underdeveloped, while we don't get time travel cliches, we do get every other teen cliche in the book, including one girl going bad briefly. It's not hard to tell where this one is going once it gets into Wonderland.

The Big Finale: The terrific numbers, costumes, and some decent performances make this worth checking out for major Disney fans like me or girls in the appropriate 8 to 14 age range who love fantasy.

Home Media: This is exclusive to Disney Plus at the moment. 

Disney Plus

Moana (2026)

Disney, 2026

Starring Catherine Laga'aia, Dwayne Johnson, Rena Owen, and John Tui

Directed by Thomas Kail

Music and Lyrics by Opetaia Foa'i, Mark Mancina, and Lin-Manuel Miranda

Unlike Snow White, there was no hostility or controversy when Disney announced they were remaking this in April 2023. It was based on one of Disney's most beloved animated films of the last decade, one that continued to be popular on Disney Plus and in the theme parks and had a sequel that debuted just two years ago. After the relatively recent Lilo & Stitch was a smash hit last summer, Disney must have thought they had another blockbuster on their hands. Considering it currently stands to be one of the biggest flops of the year so far...what happened? To figure that out, we begin in much the same way as the original, as young Moana's (Amasa Masoli) grandmother Tala (Owen) tells the story of how Maui (Johnson) stole the stone heart of the goddess island Te Fiti and how that began to destroy the life on every island...

The Story: Moana (Laga'aia) has heard the call of the sea all her life. Her parents, especially her father Chief Tui (Tui), want her to stay on the island and focus on becoming Chief. No one's ventured past the island for three thousand years. Only her eccentric grandmother Tala (House) encourages her love of the ocean and desire to explore. It's her grandmother who reveals ancient boats hidden in a cave. Her people were once explorers, searching for new islands across the Pacific. 

When the villagers discover that the foliage of the island is dying and fish are disappearing, Moana finally takes off in one of the camacaus from the cave. She's determined to find Maui and restore the goddess island, but it's not easy. Not only does Maui refuse to help at first, but she has to deal with rough seas, wild little coconut-like scavengers, treasure-loving giant crabs, and her own lack of sailing abilities. Nothing, however, will stop Moana from saving her people and proving that being a leader sometimes means going outside the box and what others deem "safe."

The Song and Dance: For all the problems, some things do work. The songs have always been a delight, and the end credits number "Along the Way" is a lovely addition. Johnson is still having a lot of fun as Maui, and his hand-animated tattoos retelling his adventures are still hilarious. Laga'aia makes a lovely, determined, and very funny Moana, especially when dealing with Maui and his ego that dwarfs the entire Pacific Ocean, and Owen is a wonderfully wise and eccentric grandmother. (And I still appreciate that Moana and Maui are more pupil and mentor than romantic.) 

The Numbers: Our first flat-out number is the chorus routine "Where You Are." Chief Tui introduces us to the culture and people of Motunui as Moana grows up...and still hears the call of the sea. Moana's first attempt to leave the island is underscored by her big "I want" song and the hit from the original film, "How Far I'll Go." "We Know the Way" is the second chorus number as we see Moana's ancestors charting the Pacific. Moana reprises "How Far" when she finally makes it out to the ocean on one of the ancestors' boats. "You're Welcome" says Maui when Moana washes up on an island where he too is stranded. After all, he created (or claims her created) everything. 

Moana has to dodge the enormous coconut crab Tamatoa (Jermaine Clement), who loves all things "Shiny," and grab the stone heart and Maui's magical fish hook. Moana performs the brief "I am Moana" with her grandmother when she thinks she'll never be able to restore Te Fiti. The chorus reminds her to "Know Who You Are." We end back at Motunni with a reprise of "We Know the Way" as Moana, Maui, and everyone on the island are now wayfarers searching the seas. Lin-Manuel Miranda is joined by Laga'aia and original Moana Auli'i Cravaho for the end credits song "Along the Way." 

What I Don't Like: This has the opposite problem from Snow White. They tried to change and update too much there, but this...has no reason to exist. They changed and updated almost nothing. It's pretty much exactly the same as the animated film people can buy on disc or watch on Disney Plus except for a few additional gags and the one new end credits song. Not to mention, this movie was overlong when it was fully animated, and it's not any less in live-action. Some of Moana and Maui's antics in the middle of the film could still be trimmed. There's also the complaints of all the CGI and AI used. There's so much animation used, it practically still is an animated film, and it looks horrendously fake compared to the big action and horror films in theaters right now. 

The Big Finale: If your kids are huge Moana fans who can't get enough of the character, they'll probably want to see it. Everyone else is fine looking up "Along the Way" and taking their money elsewhere.

Home Media: It's home release date hasn't been announced yet, but the vinyl soundtrack is available at Target and elsewhere

Vinyl Soundtrack (Target)

Safety In Numbers

Paramount, 1930

Starring Charles "Buddy" Rogers, Carole Lombard, Katheryn Crawford, and Josephine Dunn

Directed by Victor Schertzinger

Music by Richard A. Whiting; Lyrics by George Marion Jr.

Schertzinger went way further back with musicals than The Fleet's In. He started his directing career doing rural comedies in 1917. His first sound musical was segments of the revue Paramount On Parade; this was his first full-length musical film. It was made to showcase Paramount's then-biggest matinee idol, Buddy Rogers. Rogers was an early form of Pat Boone, "America's Boyfriend," the cute, cuddly guy girls can bring home to their parents with no trouble. This was intended to be a big star vehicle for him, allowing him to show just how sweet he could be and promote some of the up-and-coming ingenues on the Paramount lot...including one who would go on to have a major career a few years later. How does this romantic comedy about a young playboy who gets an education in love from three chorus girls look nowadays? Let's begin with that playboy, William Butler Reynolds (Rogers), as he judges a "high kicking contest" among the secretaries in his uncle F. Carstair Reynolds' (Richard Tucker) business and find out...

The Story: Carstair tells his nephew he stands to inherit $350 million dollars on his twenty-first birthday, but only if he goes to New York and learns "the ways of the world." He hires three Follies girls, Maxine (Dunn), Pauline (Lombard), and Jacqueline (Crawford), to show his nephew around New York and keep an eye on him. They get help from a chatty cab driver, Bertram Shapiro (Roscoe Karns), who befriends William and the girls, and several other chorus cuties who volunteer. After things get out of hand at a party, all three ladies admit they're besotted by their charge...but there's only one of them whom William loves so much, he's willing to give up that money for.

The Song and Dance: Not the most exciting story in the world, but there are a few items worthy of note. The music isn't bad, especially the lovely ballad "My Future Just Passed." Nice costumes, too, with some really gorgeous early 30's gowns for the ladies and tuxes for the guys. Rogers may have the lion's share of moments, but it's the ladies who run off with the film. They're hilarious and heartfelt as they try to show their charge how to really live life, especially sweet Crawford as the one who falls for him. Karns has a few good moments too as the boastful cab driver.

The Numbers: We open with our first chorus number, as those secretaries show off their high kicking stuff and Rogers shows off his prowess on the drums to "Business Girl." William switches on the radio so Jacqueline can hear (and be impressed by) his own song, "Do You Play, Madam?" He gets her up for a short dance. He woos Maxine with "I'd Like to Be a Bee In Your Boudoir." Pauline tries to woo him with "Young Man, You Appeal to Me" without actually singing it. The other two are not amused. The ladies' maid (Louise Beavers" joins in for the dance number "The Pick-Up," while the chorus gets "Pepola," in a very strange number that turns into silhouettes of beautiful women dancing against a city projection background at one point.

What I Don't Like: Did I mention up there that this is not the most exciting story? It's basically Rogers chasing women, the ladies chasing him, and Karns popping up here and there. While it's a little more kinetic than usual for the early talkie era, we do get the occasional shots of people standing and talking. Also, if you're expecting something like Lombard's brittle screwball comedy persona from the later 30's, you're going to be disappointed. Other than her "You Appeal to Me" number (where she doesn't even really sing), she doesn't really have that much to do.

The Big Finale: This is cute and has some decent music, but in the end, it's mainly for early talkie enthusiasts or major fans of Lombard or Rogers. 

Home Media: Thanks to it entering the public domain this year, it can now be found all over streaming, including at Tubi. 

Tubi