Starring Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, Lori Loughlin, and Tommy Hinkley
Directed by Lyndall Hobbs
Music and Lyrics by various
Even after the Beach Party movies were no longer turning up at drive-ins, they continued to be popular on late-night television, and later on video and cable. By the mid-80's, surf culture had also made a comeback as nostalgia for the 50's and early 60's boomed, fired by a revival of surf rock artists like the Beach Boys and the popularity of the California beach scene. As the movies themselves became more widely seen again, Avalon and Funicello reemerged to appear in this parody of the originals, showing just how much comedy, musicals, and surf culture had and hadn't changed since the heyday of the original films. Is it still hip now, or is it terminally square? Let's begin, not in California, but in landlocked Ohio, as Bobby (Demian Slade) complains about how annoying his parents are, and find out...
The Story: Once the most beloved surfer on the California beaches, the Big Kahuna (Avalon) is now a car salesman. His wife Annette (Funicello) is bored and perpetually shopping, and black-clad Bobby wishes they were a heck of a lot cooler. Despite his dislike of water, they still take a vacation to Hawaii, first stopping in California to visit their daughter Sandy (Loughlin).
Sandy is living with goofy, unemployed Michael (Hinkley), who makes his own surfboards. Her father is furious, until he encounters his old flame Connie (Connie Stevens) at a popular local hangout. Not only is she Michael's mother, but she still has a thing for Sandy's father. There's also the big lunk Troy (John Calvin) who keeps making passes at Annette. Meanwhile, a fed-up Bobby falls in with a biker group who eventually declares the beach to be their property. Michael is hurt when they raid the beach party, leading the Big Kahuna to have no choice but to hit the water one last time.
The Song and Dance: This is so dorky and is trying so hard to be what was cool in 1987, it almost flips around to become hip. Funicello and especially Avalon have a fine time as the couple who revive their marriage even as they recall their glory days, and Stevens enjoys her role as the not-so-"bad" woman. The costumes are among the most pure 80's of the entire decade, with everyone decked out in garish neons, fluffy polka-dot short dresses, enormous hair, and off-the-shoulder sweaters.
Some of the cameos are pretty cute too, notably Don Adams as the Harbormaster the Big Kahuna talks into letting them have their shindig and Bob Denver playing the bartender as a certain dim sailor who is very glad he's no longer stranded on his self-named island. I'm also kind of glad the bikers seen at the end are played for genuine menace, and aren't nearly as goofy as Eric Von Zipper and his crowd were in the original films. This adds a little bit of heft to the out-of-nowhere surf contest ending.
Favorite Number: We open with Bobby explaining how his parents used to be considered cool in the 50's and 60's, including real-life footage of Annette singing on The Mickey Mouse Club and Avalon performing his hit "Venus." The first real song is "Catch a Ride" over footage of California surfers (including one sitting on his surfboard!) hitting the waves during the credits. Dick Dale performs "The Loco-Motion" and then "California Sun," the latter featuring Avalon having so much fun that the number becomes the film's highlight. Funicello counters by holding a wild "Pajama Party" with her daughter at her home.
An updated version of "Wipeout" plays as the surfers slide down a pole and rush out to hit the big one...except a hungover Avalon. "Jamaica Ska" is Funicello's number with the chorus on the beach, joined by real-life ska and reggae band Fishbone. (Note the decidedly Minnie Mouse-like red polka-dot dress she wears at this point.) Dale plays "Pipeline" while Avalon suggests a major beach bash for Michael to win back his girlfriend.
Aimee Mann and Till Tuesday sing "Signs of Love" during a dance number at the party while Michael admits to Sandy that he's ready to settle down. We get "Wooly Bully" as Avalon heads off the Harbormaster (Don Adams). Pee Wee Herman, of all people, sings and does his own idea of prancing around to "Surfin' Bird." "I Hate You" is the anthem for the punk bike group, which we hear when they're on the beach.
Trivia: Frankie Avalon's real name is never used. He's always referred to as "The Big Kahuna" or "Annette's husband." Orion Pictures (and now MGM/Amazon) owns most of the Beach Party movies and the rights to the name. It's why Funicello doesn't go under Dee-Dee or Dolores, her usual names in those movies, as well.
"I Hate You" was written for and originally heard in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
What I Don't Like: Did I mention how of-its-time this film is? This movie shrieks "1980's surf culture trying to be 1960's surf culture." The original films could be extremely strange, but this one occasionally dips into plain dumb, as with the annoying Troy who keeps pursuing Annette and Michael's nitwit surfer stereotype. They're trying for camp, but just come off as weird and shrill.
The finale with the bikers suddenly declaring the beach to be their turf comes totally out of left field. The bikers barely interacted with anyone besides Bobby before this. It only exists to give the Big Kahuna a way to redeem himself and could have been led up to better. Bobby for his part didn't have much to do for most of the movie besides his narration sulking about how terminally uncool his parents are and one amusing sequence when he shows off a fake tattoo to his mother.
The Big Finale: I honestly think Teen Beach Movie did a much better job parodying the Beach Party series more than a quarter of a century later. This is mainly for major fans of Funicello, Avalon, the stars or groups seen in cameos, or those who have fond memories of seeing it on cable and video in the late 80's and 90's.
Home Media: Currently on DVD via the Warner Archives (who release select Paramount films) and streaming for free on Pluto TV.
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