Cult Flops - Scott Joplin

Universal, 1977

Starring Billy Dee Williams, Clifton Davies, Art Carney, and Margaret Avery

Directed by Jeremy Kagan

Music and Lyrics by Scott Joplin and others

This week, we dive into Black History Month with biographies of two popular composers, one who would be unjustly forgotten for sixty years, the other who vanished to avoid the spotlight. We're going to start with the long-forgotten one. "King of Ragtime" Scott Joplin was brought back into the spotlight when his music was featured on the soundtrack to the hit 1973 comedy The Sting, and his "The Entertainer" leaped to the top of the charts. This biography was originally intended to be a TV movie, but Universal was so impressed with the results, they rushed it into theaters. Were they right to do this, or should this have been left on the piano roll? Let's begin with Joplin's (Williams) departure in the late 19th century over "The Entertainer" and find out...

The Story: Joplin's father wanted him to work on the railroads, but he had his heart set on music. He ran away from Texarkana, Texas to become a piano teacher in Missouri. It's here that he befriended Louis Chauvelin (Davies), a fellow pianist who worked in a brothel. They join a piano-cutting contest on a lark. Chauvelin wins, but it's Joplin's playing and original music that impresses music publisher John Stark (Carney). He publishes Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag" in St. Louis, allowing Joplin to share the profits. 

Joplin's music is wildly popular, and he becomes a wealthy man. He even marries lovely widow Belle (Avery), and they buy a lavish home and plan a family. His hands, however, are starting to disobey him. They'll frequently shake when he wants them to play. It turns out to be more than nerves. Joplin has contracted syphilis. So has Chauvelin, and it kills him. Belle too passes shortly after her marriage to Joplin. He throws himself into his magnum opus, a folk opera on African-American themes, with more accessible American music. He's never able to fully stage it in his lifetime, but his music eventually outlives him.

The Song and Dance: The performances are what makes this worth watching. Williams is excellent as the mercurial musician who was determined to make something he could be proud of, before he couldn't do anything at all. Davies nearly matches him as his equally talented but less ambitious best friend, and Carney also does well as the older man who is determined to prove to the world that "ragtime" is more than music for one race. Some of the costumes aren't bad, either, at least well representing the late 19th-early 20th century setting. 

The Numbers: In fact, we open over the credits with "The Entertainer." We first get "Hangover Blues" at the brothel. There's some pretty wild pianists at the piano cutting contest, including a Civil War vet who plays one-armed. Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag" is what puts him and Chauvelin over, topping even a wild guy who plays while jumping around. We get "Solace" and the duo writes "Heliotrope Bouquet" together. "Courtship," as Scott dates and weds Belle, is based on "Elite Syncopation." We get "Peacharine Rag" and "Pleasant Moments" as well. "Weeping Willow" from Joplin's opera Treemonisha is performed by a very serious choir...but Joplin is so frustrated with their performance, he ends up singing everything himself for the backers. He switches to "The Entertainer" when they aren't interested, giving him a montage of memories and segments from the movie as his hands fail him.

Trivia: This was originally made for TV, but Universal was so impressed with the results, they released it theatrically. 

Look for another famous early Black composer, Eubie Blake, as one of the judges at the piano cutting contest, and R&B group the Commodores (including Lionel Richie) as The Minstrel Singers. 

Treemonisha finally had first complete performance in 1972. It was so well-received, Joplin got a posthumous Pulitzer Prize for drama in 1976. 

What I Don't Like: I'm afraid this looks and sounds like a TV movie from 1977. Nice costumes aside, the sets are cramped, and there's those stills montages. Normally, most Hollywood musical biopics go on for much too long...but this one is too short to really include all of the facts about Joplin's short but eventful life. He had two wives, one of which did die young, but not from heartbreak after a baby's death. He not only played in brothels early-on and taught piano, guitar, and mandolin, but also sang with boys' groups. He wrote an earlier opera, A Guest of Honor, that was so badly received, it's now lost.  I wish they'd expanded it when they moved it to theaters! As it is, what's here is standard biopic cliches with a very dark ending (something a lot of critics complained about in 1977).

The Big Finale: Worth seeing at least once if you're a fan of Williams, Davies, or Joplin and ragtime. 

Home Media: Available in all formats; DVD is from the made-to-order Universal Vault.

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Cult Flops - The Producers (2005)

Universal/Columbia, 2005

Starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Uma Thurman, and Will Farrell

Directed by Susan Stroman

Music and Lyrics by Mel Brooks

This week, we're looking at two more recent remakes of older musical and semi-musical films. Mel Brooks' original film version of The Producers did well enough at the box off in 1967 but got mixed reviews. Critics at the time didn't always get the black comedy about two producers who try to put on a flop musical that turns into a huge hit. The 2001 stage version, on the other hand, was wildly popular with critics and audiences alike. Everyone praised Susan Stroman's inventive choreography and direction and the pitch-perfect performances of Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick as the title characters. Needless to say, all three were carried over to the film version...but what works on stage doesn't always work on screen, as we're about to discover. Let's begin in Times Square in 1959 as theatergoers emerge from producer Max Bialystock's (Lane) latest flop musical and find out just how much a smash stage show can go off the rails onscreen...

The Story: Max is still mourning the demise of his latest theatrical venture when his meek accountant Leo Bloom (Broderick) points out that you can make more money off of a flop than a hit. Intrigued, Max hits on the idea of staging the worst musical possible and reaping the rewards when it tanks. Leo resists it first, until he realizes how tired he is of his bland, boring life at the accounting firm. 

They first seek out Franz Liberkind (Farrell), the Nazi-obsessed author of the ridiculous musical Springtime for Hitler, even taking an oath in order to get the rights to his show. Transvestite director Roger Di Bris (Gary Beach) and his effeminate partner Carmen Ghia (Roger Bart) object to the darker tones in the show, insisting on keeping everything light, even if the Germans win the war. Gorgeous Swedish blond Ulla (Thurman) turns up on their doorstep, and both men are smitten enough to hire her as their secretary and promise her a role on the show. 

The two men do their level best to make sure everything is a disaster, including Max getting dozens of little old ladies to finance it, but...against all good taste and better judgement, Springtime for Hitler winds up as a smash success. Leo's ready to turn them in, until Franz turns up with a gun because everyone laughed at his play and Ulla suggests they take the money and run. Max thinks he's left holding the bag, but you can't break up Broadway's most unlikely and closest producing team, even when they're in jail.

The Song and Dance: It's the movie people who are the revelations here. Who knew Thurman, who is usually associated with action and drama roles, could sing and shake her hips like a champ? And that split she does at the end of "If You Got It, Flaunt It" is incredible. Farrell has way too much fun as the Hitler-adoring Franz, with his pigeons and crazy vows. Makes me wish they both did more musicals. Of the stage folks, only Beach as the mincing director has any idea of how to play the role to the camera. There's some sensational costumes in brilliant colors reminiscent of the Technicolor of 50's MGM musicals, too. And frankly, I do appreciate that the musical drops some dated aspects of the original film, eliminating the character of the hippie who originally played Hitler and giving Ulla more authority and more to do. 

The Numbers: We open with the brief "Opening Night" as two usherettes (Bryn Dowling and Meg Gillentine) wonders how the audiences will react to Max Bialystock's latest show. The theatergoers come out shortly after and give their assessment - it's "The Worst Show In Town." "We Can Do It," Max insists to Leo in his office, though Leo isn't as sure. Leo changes his tune around his "Unhappy" coworkers after he fantasizes about how "I Want to Be a Producer," complete with chorus girls in skimpy beaded dresses prancing in the office. 

Franz teaches Max and Leo the Fuhrer's favorite song, "Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop," before he insists on their vows. Roger, Carmen, and their extremely stereotypical stage team think a musical should be much lighter. "Keep It Gay!" Roger proclaims. Ulla auditions for Max and Leo at their office with "If You've Got It, Flaunt It"...and while the duo haven't started casting yet, they aren't exactly objecting to the show. Max gets the money for the show from a chorus line of old ladies tapping on their walkers (including Andrea Martin and stage star Debra Monk) who say "Along Came Bialy." Leo and Ulla are more interested in falling in love, dancing around their now very white office while singing about "That Face."

They can't find a better Hitler than Franz after he floors everyone with his rendition of "Haben Sie Gehurt Das Deutsche Band?" Roger and Carmen claim "You Never Say Good Luck On Opening Night" backstage, but Max disagrees. "Springtime for Hitler" and "Heil Myself" are the big chorus numbers, and they are a riot of color, sequins, and every possible German and World War II stereotype, up to and including Roger taking over as a decidedly not-butch Hitler. 

One of the two new songs added for the film version is "You'll Find Your Happiness In Rio," which shows Ulla and Leo doing just that as Max reads the postcard from them in prison. He feels "Betrayed" as he rants in a soliloquy of the type that were popular in 40's and 50's musicals, relating pretty much the entire show up to that point. Leo returns at the trial, claiming no one thought he was special "Till Him." The duo are still doing their same "sell everyone 100 percent of the show" schtick in prison as Max directs their big jailbird musical "Prisoner of Love." It becomes their first stage hit after they're paroled. Mel Brooks himself claims "There's Nothing Like a Show On Broadway" (the other new song) over the credits before telling the audience "Goodbye!" and that it's time to go home.

Trivia: The Producers opened in April 2001 and was a sensation, running six years and earning 12 Tony Awards, the most of any show to date. It also did well on London's West End, running three years. In fact, at press time, a revival is playing at London's Garrick Theatre. 

Three songs from the stage show, "The King of Broadway," "In Old Bavaria," and "Where Did We Go Right?" were filmed, but cut for time. All three are in an extended cut, and "King of Broadway" and "In Old Bavaria" are included as extras on the DVD.

What I Don't Like: Frankly, it feels like Thurman and Farrell are in an entirely different film from everyone else. Lane and Broderick are used to scaling their performances to the balcony, not to the camera. Everyone else is playing everything way too broadly, shouting when something slightly more sly and subtle would have done better. Likewise, Stroman's direction and choreography is scaled to theater audiences. Despite the filming in real locations, this feels like the filmed play it is. Good as most of the numbers are, they also push the running time a little too long. This is over 2 hours, way too long for a wacky black backstage comedy. Some of the other numbers or the shtick in the middle could have been trimmed with no one the wiser. There's also the simple fact that...a musical about a "gay" Hitler isn't nearly as shocking as it would have been in 1967, nor are the many rather ridiculous gay, theater, and Jewish stereotypes. 

The Big Finale: Good performances from Ferrell and Thurman aren't enough to put this in the "hit" column for anyone but the biggest fans of the leads, Brooks, or modern Broadway shows. 

Home Media: Easily found on disc and streaming, with the DVD often being found for under $10. 

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Cult Flops - The Vagabond King (1956)

Paramount, 1956

Starring Oreste Kirkop, Kathryn Grayson, Rita Moreno, and Walter Hampden

Directed by Michael Curtiz

Music by Rudolf Friml; Lyrics by Brian Hooker and Johnny Burke

Operetta made a comeback in the early 1950's when several classic operettas of the 1910's and 20's were recreated on TV and on record. Paramount saw the success of The Student Prince at MGM and "spectaculars" like The Chocolate Soldier on television and went looking for their own version of Mario Lanza. They thought they found him in Maltese opera tenor Oreste Kirkop, who, despite his limited knowledge of English, was handsome, manly, and possessed a marvelous singing voice. They picked up Kathryn Grayson from MGM and gave dancer Rita Moreno one of her first major roles, but then let it sit on the shelf for over a year before it was released to an indifferent public. Did this deserve that fate, or should this rousing color retelling of Francois Villon's story deserve another chance to rule? Let's begin with the scheming Duke of Burgundy (Tom Duggan) and his men just outside of Paris and find out...

The Story: Francois Villon (Kirkop) and his fellow vagabonds are arrested by Louis the XI (Hampden) and his men when they visit the tavern he frequents disguised as peasants. Louis anoints him the new provost marshal after his actual marshal Thibault (Leslie Nielson) is revealed to be a spy to Burgundy. He's hoping to enlist him and his fellow peasants, poets, and drinks in battling the Duke and his army. Earlier in the day, Francois had encountered the beautiful Princess Katherine (Grayson) at a church and had fallen hopelessly in love with her, despite already having a girlfriend in the tavern wench Hugette (Moreno). It's the ladies who are willing to lay down the line - and in Hugette's case, her own life - to make sure Louis stays on the throne and Francois stays off the hangman's noose.

The Song and Dance: The ladies are the stand-outs here amid the brilliantly colored pageantry of 15th-century France. Grayson is equally spunky and sweet, especially later-on, when she begins to fall for Villon. Moreno brings enough fire and passion to Hugette to power the entire City of Lights, and is certainly more realistic as a tavern wench than cutesy Lillian Roth was. The production benefits from the improved Technicolor, with lavish medieval costumes and fanciful headgear for both genders that would make the rainbow pale. We even get a medieval ballet near the end with a literal warring heaven and hell that gives us a good idea of court amusements among the rich in the fifteenth century. And at least if they had to have additional numbers, Friml actually got to write the music this time. 

The Numbers: Our first number is "Bon Jour," which introduces us to Francois and his men as they travel back to Paris, waving to the peasants they see along the way. Hugette joins the vagabonds for the swirling chorus number "Viva La You" at the tavern. Katherine performs "Some Day" in the courtyard as she dreams of the man she saw at the church. Francois, Hugette, and the Vagabonds make "Comparisons" between the wealthy and the poor and Burgundy and Louis just before Francois is arrested. "Hugette Waltz" takes us to the dungeons as Hugette laments the loss of her beloved rogue. 

"Only a Rose" is performed in the courtyard, with Francois telling Katherine how much he's fallen for her. "Watch Out for the Devil" is the big ballet depicting the fight between heaven and hell - or Louis and Burgundy in this case - performed by Katherine and Francois. We end with "Song of the Vagabonds" for Francois and the chorus as they rout the Duke of Burgundy and his men and a reprise of "Only a Rose" as Francois and Katherine drive off into the countryside.

Trivia: Final movie for Katherine Grayson and only movie for Oreste Kirkop. Kirkop didn't speak English at the time. His speaking voice was dubbed by Elliot Reid.

Rita Moreno's singing voice was dubbed by Eve Boswell. 

That's Vincent Price doing the narration in the opening sequence.

What I Don't Like: The men are the problem here. While Hampden isn't bad as opportunistic Louis, Jack Lord and Leslie Nielson are simply too modern to be believable as scheming medieval spies. Kirkop is a wonderfully lusty singer, but lacks the presence of either Dennis King or Mario Lanza (who had been considered for the role early-on). He has no chemistry with Grayson or Moreno and frankly belongs back in an opera house in Malta, not film. Not to mention, the dubbing on his voice is terrible, with Reid sounding nothing like his singing voice. The sets look spectacular but are obviously fake and give the film the feeling of an overripe stage play, and Friml and Burke's added songs are pleasant but unremarkable compared to the soaring "Some Day" and "Only a Rose" or the devastating "Hugette's Waltz." 

The Big Finale: Mainly worth checking out for operetta fans like me or fans of Grayson, Moreno, or the huge colorful musicals of the 50's and 60's. 

Home Media: At press time, this rarity can only be found on YouTube. 

YouTube

Cult Flops - The Vagabond King (1930)

Paramount, 1930

Starring Dennis King, Jeanette MacDonald, O.P Heggie, and Lillian Roth

Directed by Ludwig Berger

Music and Lyrcis by various

For the next two weeks, our weekday reviews will look at musical remakes, either of older films, or a remake and the original. This version of the 1926 stage hit of the same name was intended to be Paramount's stately answer to major film operettas like Warner Bros' The Desert Song or MGM's (now-lost) Rogue Song. It proved to be too stately for 1930 audiences who were looking for war movies and gangster films, but how does it look now? Let's begin in fifteenth-century Paris, where only a lawless poet stands between the King of France (O.P Heggie) and the Duke of Burgundy's attempt to take over his throne...

The Story: Francois Villon (King) is arrested by Louis the XI and his men while drunk and brought to the castle. Louis anoints him king for a day, hoping to enlist him and his fellow peasants, poets, and drinks in battling the Duke and his army. Earlier in the day, Francois had rescued the beautiful Princess Katherine (MacDonald) and had fallen hopelessly in love with her, despite already having a girlfriend in the tavern wench Hugette (Roth). It's the ladies who are willing to lay down the line - and in Hugette's case, her own life - to make sure Louis stays on the throne and Francois is hung for a king's amusement the next day.

The Song and Dance: Oh, how I wish the full color copy was available online! What little color is seen during the "Only a Rose" number is blurry but exquisite, with MacDonald looking every inch the princess she's supposed to be in exquisite peach, standing out against the lavish green garden. In fact, even in the blurry mostly black and white copy currently on YouTube, it's that much-vaunted pageantry where this stands out. MacDonald is a radiant princess in glittering gowns amid enormous, craggy castles and the fetid alleys of a shadow-strewn Paris, while Heggie makes a wonderful opportunistic King Louis. European director Ludvig Berger had made several similar sumptuous fantasies in France and Germany during the silent era, and he knew something about spectacle and how to make it work.

The Numbers: We open over the credits and at the tavern Francois frequents with "Song of the Vagabonds." "King Louis" is Francois' mocking rhyme and assessment of Louis' ability to rule his people. "Mary, Queen of Heaven" is a number for the choir when Katherine is praying in Notre Dame. The ballad "Some Day" is Katherine's first solo as she changes for bed and contemplates Francois and their first meeting in Paris. Francois declares to his followers what he would do "If I Were King." He tells the disguised Louis "What France Needs." 

"Only a Rose" is the only Technicolor sequence existing in current online prints. The gorgeous singing from King and MacDonald and exquisite color somewhat make up for MacDonald being right about King's ego and his continued attempts to push his nose or hands into her shot. Roth's solo is "Hugette's Waltz," as she explains to the vagabonds that she is how she is, take her or leave her. Francois and Katherine get a second duet, "Love Me Tonight," shortly before he is to fight the Burgundians. The people of Paris reprise "Song of the Vagabonds" during the actual siege. "Nocturne" is the executioner's number as he's about to hang Francois.

Trivia: The color prints do exist and were restored by UCLA in 1990, but alas, to date have only seen there other than the "Only a Rose" sequence taken from the PBS documentary Broadway: The American Musical. 

This is based on the fanciful book and non-musical play If I Were King. If I Were King was filmed as a non-musical three times, in 1920 and 1938 under its original title and in 1927 as The Beloved Rogue. 

The Vagabond King opened on Broadway in 1925 with King as Villon and was a huge hit for the time, running over 500 performances. It had a brief revival on Broadway in 1943. It hasn't been seen there since, but remains popular with light opera companies in New York and elsewhere. The film would be remade in 1956 with Kathryn Grayson as Katherine (which we'll be looking at on Thursday). 

What I Don't Like: Jeanette MacDonald had a point about Dennis King and his ego. He's a little too into the role, proclaiming everything to the rafters when film calls for a somewhat subtler approach. He's too hammy even for a swashbuckler. This is likely why he very rarely made movies after this. Lillian Roth has the opposite problem. She's too much of a cute comedienne to be playing a sensual streetwalker and really can't pull off her "Hugette's Waltz." And oh, how I wish UCLA would release the rest of that color copy to the general public! I have the feeling it would help this tremendously, and certainly be nicer to look at than the dim, blurry copy currently on YouTube.

The Big Finale: In the end, as lovely as it is, it's really only for fans of MacDonald, operetta, or early film musicals. 

Home Media: Which perhaps makes it just as well that the only place you can see this is in that blurry copy I mentioned that's currently on YouTube. 

YouTube

Cult Flops - Journey to Bethlehem

Sony Pictures (Columbia), 2023

Starring Milo Manheim, Fiona Palomo, Antonio Banderes, and Omid Djalili

Directed by Adam Anders

Music and Lyrics by various

There aren't too many musicals covering the real reason for the Christmas season. Most of the few musicals I know of that discuss the birth of Christ are animated or low-budget. This was released theatrically in 2023, and although it didn't do well at the box office, it's become a bit more widely seen on streaming since then. How does a modern version of the story of Mary, Joseph, and the Three Wise Men look now? Let's begin with those three Wise Men as they realize that a new king is to be born and find out...

The Story: Mary (Palomo) wants to be a teacher, but her father (Antonio Cantos) has her betrothed to a man she's never met. She's furious, and he's not happier. He has his own dreams of becoming an inventor. No one believes Mary when she says the angel Gabriel (Lecrae) comes to her, claiming that she'll have a baby who will be the son of God. Even Joseph doesn't at first, until he finally realizes how much he loves and trusts her. 

Even as Joseph decides to trust his wife, egotistical King Harrod (Bandares) is worrying about a prophecy he heard from three rather goofy wise men. Seems there will be a "king of kings" who could potentially take his place among the people. He's not complaining when Caesar Augustus orders all of his people to travel to Bethehem for a census and be counted. Joseph worries that Mary can't make the trip, and when they do finally arrive, there's only room in a stable for them. That turns out to be more than enough for their new family. The Three Wise Men have been searching for them too, but all they have to do is talk to shepherds and follow a certain star to see a baby born in a manger who will become one of the most important religious beings on the planet.

The Song and Dance: This is...not what I was expecting. I figured we'd get something subdued, quiet. What we got amounted to a Disney Channel musical with a religious theme. That's not to say it doesn't have some virtues. Palomo is a lovely, feisty Mary, while Banderes is a wonderfully hissable and egotistical King Harrod, and even the Wise Men occasionally get a funny line or gag. There's also the dusty yellow backdrop, a golden, ancient Spain representing the Holy Lands.

The Numbers: We open with a young woman beginning "O Come All Ye Faithful" over the credits as the Wise Men travel to Jerusalem before it Segways into the title song and the oldest-known still performed Christmas song, "O Come O Come Emmanuel." "Mary's Getting Married" her sisters and the women of the town sing in delight during our first chorus number. Mary's not buying their claim it'll be "good for her." She only sees herself having to give up her dreams of teaching. Harrod claims to his followers that it's "Good To Be the King." Mary and Joseph are more concerned about their fracturing engagement as they wonder "Can We Make This Work?" 

After Gabriel arrives, Mary claims she's now "The Mother to a Savior and King." Joseph's worried that his wife's belief in her immaculate conception may be "The Ultimate Deception." The Three Wise Men claim they are those "Three Wise Guys." Joseph and Mary grow closer during their trip to Bethlehem, where "We Become We." Antipater (Joel Smallbone), the husband of Deborah (Moriah Smallbone), insists that the baby his older wife has created is "In My Blood." "The Nativity Song" is a medley of Christmas carols based around the birth of Christ, revealing the angel Gabriel and the true "king of kings" born in a humble manger. The movie ends with "Brand New Life" over the end credits.

What I Don't Like: Between the nice but largely unmemorable pop songs, the presence of bland but likable Manheim, and the side plot with the too-goofy (not very) Wise Men trying to figure out what's going on, this really feels more like a Disney Channel musical than one that was released on the big screen. They're not going for historical accuracy, either. (Admittedly, they do make this clear right before the end credits.) If you're looking for a darker, more "accurate" version of the Nativity story, this isn't it.

The Big Finale: Worth checking out at least once for families with older kids and tweens looking for a religious musical or a Nativity film.

Home Media: Easily found on disc and streaming.

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Cult Flops - Walter Wanger's Vogues of 1938

United Artists, 1937

Starring Warner Baxter, Joan Bennett, Helen Vinson, and Mischa Auer

Directed by Irving Cummings and Charles Kerr

Music and Lyrics by various

We jump back to the US this week for two more 30's musicals, both of them later versions of the lavish Busby Berkeley style. By 1937, Berkeley's scores of showgirls dancing in unique "story" numbers with overhead shots had become commonplace in musicals not only in the US, but around the world. Producer Water Wanger had been bouncing around the studios since the 1920's. He had tried to set himself up as an independent producer earlier in the 30's, but it hadn't worked out. After producing two hits at MGM, he once again struck out on his own...and this time, did much better. Though this wasn't one of his bigger hits, it did produce an Oscar-nominated standard, the ballad "That Old Feeling." How does the story of an heiress who joins a major fashion house and falls for its owner look today? Let's begin at the House of Curon as a show is starting and find out...

The Story: George Curson (Baxter) is having a really rough time. His wife Mary (Vinson) is desperate to go back on the stage and begs him to fund her big starring show, Vogues of 1938. His vice-president Sophie Miller (Alma Kruger) is having anxiety attacks and heart problems. Right after said show, one of his best customers, Wendy Van Klettering (Bennett), turns up claiming she doesn't want to marry her dull fiancee Henry Morgan (Alan Mowbray) and would rather work for him as a model. She basically pesters him into it, even though the last thing he wants is to have her in his home or his fashion house. He even gets Sophie to teach her how to model.

Her fiancee is furious when he finds out she's doing something so common and demands she be taken out of his fashion show. He finds a way for her to appear anyhow. She helps him get his customers back and prove that one of his competitors (Auer) is stealing his ideas. He still insists on staying with his wife, even after Wendy helps him win a big fashion contest...until his wife's show fails, and she dumps him. He put all of the money from the House of Curon into that show. Now, his beloved fashion house may go under, unless he can put on one more spectacular show and prove that the House of Curon still has what it takes to compete with the big Parisian houses.

The Song and Dance: And song and dance, along with some truly spectacular costumes and sets, are the major selling point here. Elegant Baxter and Bennett are dwarfed by some gorgeous Art Deco sets and the amazing dresses, especially at the big contest mid-way through where older ladies show off the creations of the Houses they buy clothes from. The music is actually quite good; "That Old Feeling" was nominated for an Oscar and is now considered to be a standard ballad. Auer and Kruger come off the best as the supercilious Russian who tells his elderly customers his designs are inspired by classical music and the perpetually anxious older vice-president.

The Numbers: After the fashion show opening, we don't have another number until more than 20 minutes in. An all-black cast energetically performs "Turn On that Red Hot Heat." The Cotton Club Singers really burn up the stage with their wild routine before four men in white tuxes get even more into the dancing. Maurice Rocco has even more fun with it on the piano. The dancers reprise it in the dark, writhing wildly to the music. Singer Virginia Vaill introduces "That Old Feeling" directly after. We then get an excellent tap dancer whom Curson claims is his wife's favorite. 

The next fashion show gets around Henry and his lawyer Richard Steward (Gonzolo Merono) by claiming Wendy is there "only as a spectator," then letting her "watch" the show onstage and model dresses while doing it. The third fashion show is "The Rayon Ball," with each lady showing off an outfit that's more outrageous than the next. Only Henry appreciates Prince Muratov's outlandish gold gown with the enormous feathered shoulders...and Henry's the only one who doesn't appreciate Wendy modeling a far more simple and elegant white gown. 

Mary and her director Mr. Brockton (Jerome Cowan) watch a truly amazing roller skating couple perform a death-defying couples dance in her living room. The big finale begins with Lawrence performing the sweet ballad "Lovely One" to Virginia Vaill, while the chorus models add their own commentary. A trio of dancing violinists pick up the song next, giving us a comic soft shoe. Lawrence picks up with "Lady of the Evening" (along with bits of the Hawaiian "Aloha Ole" and the Navy theme "Anchors Aweigh") as he describes all of those fabulous fashions.

Trivia: Was nominated for Art Direction along with "That Old Feeling." 

What I Don't Like: First of all, the movie is almost two hours. That's way too long for a story this fluffy. I do appreciate that the discussions of Curon's unhappy marriage gives it a slight edge over your usual 30's backstage spectaculars. Thing is, Bennett's character is more of an annoying pest than a sweet girl who just wants out of a bad marriage, and she never was comfortable in musicals. A lot of the non-musical dramatic scenes towards the middle probably could have been trimmed with no one the wiser. Second, Warners or whomever owns this now really needs to take a crack at restoring it. The color on the copy at YouTube is soft and scratchy. 

The Big Finale: Worth seeing for the musical numbers alone if you're a fan of Baxter, Bennett, or the big spectacular Art Deco musicals of the 1930's. 

Home Media: It can be easily found on YouTube and on some shady DVD releases.

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YouTube

Family Fun Saturday - Standing Ovation

Rocky Mountain Pictures, 2010

Starring Kayla Jackson, Alanna Palumbo, Joei DiCarlo, and Pilar Martin

Directed by Stewart Rafill

Music and Lyrics by various

Let's hit the Jersey Shore this holiday weekend with this independent backstage tale. High School Musical was pretty much the template for all teen and tween musicals made from 2006 well into the 2010's, and this one was no exception. Apparently, despite Rocky Mountain Pictures hyping it to the skies in 2010, it was a huge flop with critics and audiences. Now that it's easily available on several streaming platforms, how does this tale of big hopes and bigger dreams come off today? Let's begin at a local contest for pre-teen dance groups and find out...

The Story: The Five Ovations are a talented song and dance pre-teen girl group in Atlantic City. They keep getting sabotaged by the Wiggies, a group of spoiled rich girls who specialize in outrageous wigs supplied by the wealthy father (Sal Dupree) of Ziggy Wiggs (London Clarke). Brittany O'Brian (Kayla Jackson) lives on the boardwalk above a 99 cent store with her Irish grandfather (P. Brendan Mulvey) and her musician songwriter brother Mark (Austin Powell). She's desperate to find the father who abandoned her and her mother. Her family is broke; her grandfather keeps using their money to play the horses.

Major network CDS announces a huge music video contest for pre-teen groups. After the Wiggies take over the school gym to rehearse, the Ovations convince Eric Bateman (William McKenna) to loan them his father's recording studio. They do make the video, but Ziggy and Mark sabotage it. Unfortunately, their "sabotage" turns it into a comedy and makes it popular with the audience at CDS. 

The Wiggies do make it to the finals. So do the Ovations, once someone else drops out. They recruit local dancers to help with their big number. Alanna Wannabe (Palumbo), a young girl who desperately wants to be a star, gets in on it, too. She and her father made a video, but it didn't make it to the finals. Meanwhile, tough girl Joei Battaluci (Joei DiCarlo), the Ovations' manager, uses her tough-guy attitude and menagerie of biting animals she keeps in her purse to help Brittany find out what happened to her father and find out who stole money from Joei's father.

The Song and Dance: This was cuter than I thought it would be from the low-budget pedigree. The numbers have real energy, the dancing isn't bad, and some of the comedy lands. DiCarlo steals the show as the hilariously tough kid who can talk herself into and out of anything and has an army of venomous critters at her disposal to back her up. As someone who has lived in Southern New Jersey all her life, I appreciate the filming in and around the Atlantic City area, including the boardwalks in Atlantic City, Cape May, Ocean City, and Wildwood. 

The Numbers: We actually open with a group performing a nervy "Thing 4 U" in 40's threads...before Mr. Wiggs turns off the lights and ruins their number. The Wiggies' first number is the too-sexy-for-their-ages "Blush" in pink wigs. The Ovations attempt "Bounce," but Ziggy paid a stagehand to put pepper on Brittany's microphone and make her sneeze. The Wiggies' rehearsal number is "That Boy," a song Mark was working on (to Brittany's disgust). They film the number on the Ocean City boardwalk, but Mr. Wiggs makes it clear that Alanna is not invited to join them.

Brittany performs a stirring "God Bless America" on a rain-soaked Atlantic City boardwalk, but she and Joei end up confronting a jerk who steals the money she made. Rap group Dacav5 performs "The Runaway" and "The Music Is Dropping You" as the Wiggies shimmy in a nightclub that, once again, is way too old for kids who can't be more than 13 or 14. The Ovations demonstrate different forms of dancing across the 20th and 21st century at an old folks' home in "Crazy Feet." "All I Want To Do Is Sing" provides the backdrop for Joei telling Brittany she has a line on the thief who stole her dad's money. 

The Ovations' first attempt at a music video is the late 60's themed Beach Party spoof "River Deep, Mountain High." While they try to figure out something more modern, Mr. Wiggs and the Wiggies perform "Soup to Nuts" dressed in their idea of upper-crust outfits at a local diner. The Ovations get stuck doing a commercial for a really awful brand of soda, singing "Shake It and Make It"...but they just can't drink that nasty stuff, no matter how much the director wants them to. They finally end up filming "Scream" at the Wildwood boardwalk, including a rap battle with local boys. Alanna's music video is "Go After Your Dream," complete with dancing firemen and her dancing with a moving teddy bear. "Superstars" is the Wiggies' self-aggrandizing video in glittery dresses with scads of dancers. 

Mr. Wiggs and the Wiggies perform "Under the Boardwalk" and "Splish Splash" in rather ridiculous mid-60's-style wigs and dresses at their big show. They look so silly, it's almost a relief when the Ovations let fleas loose in their wigs. A genuinely good gospel group performs "Our Song Begins Again" at the music video finals in New York. The Wiggies' "Dancing Girl" is actually rather bland for their energetic performance of it. Alanna and her dancer cousins from Florida join the Ovations for the vastly more unique space opera-themed "Shooting Star." The movie concludes over the end credits with "Turn It Up," a reprise of "All I Want to Do Is Sing," and the title song. 

What I Don't Like: As funny as this can be, in other ways, it's the ultimate in teen cliches. Even the names on a lot of the characters are painfully obvious. Who on Earth calls a teen music group the Wiggies? There's Alanna Wannabe the wannabe singing star, too. Some of the acting is stiff as a board. The ending is not only a complete wish-fulfillment deux ex machina, but it goes on for at least 15 minutes too long. Ending with the contest and maybe briefly letting Brittany meet her father would have sufficed, instead of drawing it out and having him be the solution to everyone's problems. For all their energy, the original songs are bland and unmemorable. 

The Big Finale: Most critics were really harsh on this one when it came out, but I'll give it a pass for the high-energy numbers, some hilarious bits, and just because not many movies were filmed and set in South Jersey. If you have pre-teen girls looking for background noise at a girl's day in or slumber party this holiday weekend, they can do far worse than this bit of showstopping lunacy.

Home Media: The DVD is currently expensive, but you can find this streaming for free with commercials just about anywhere online, including Tubi and Pluto TV.

DVD

Tubi

Pluto TV On Demand

Cult Flops - The Lottery Bride

United Artists, 1930

Starring Jeanette MacDonald, John Garrick, Joe E. Brown, and Zasu Pitts

Directed by Paul L. Stein

Music by Rudolf Friml; Lyrics by J. Keirn Brennan

If you thought The Desert Song was campy, get a load of this. Arthur Hammerstein, uncle of Oscar Hammerstein II, was known at that point for producing lavish operettas. He'd just come off the successful Rose-Marie and so-so Golden Dawn when he headed west to Hollywood for more opportunities. He joined up with United Artists, known as the home for independent producers like Samuel Goldwyn, and got on the early talkies operetta band wagon with one of the most expensive movies the company had put out at that point. Hammerstein even borrowed up-and-coming soprano Jeanette MacDonald from Paramount and popular comic Joe E. Brown from Warner Brothers. How does all this manage to mix with a dance marathon, a rescue on the ice, and an Italian dirigible? Let's start at the Viking Ship, a club Oslo, Norway, as American orchestra leader Hoke (Brown) arrives for his gig there and find out...

The Story: Hoke suggests a dance marathon to drum up publicity for the Viking Ship and the orchestra's gig. Club singer Jennie (MacDonald) enters to help her brother Nels (Carroll Nye) with his gambling debts, against the wishes of her sweetheart Chris (Garrick). Jennie is arrested when the police, encouraged by Italian dirigible pilot Alberto (Joseph Macauley), come looking for Nels. She's arrested for helping him escape. Heartbroken, and believing her to be in love with Alberto, Chris runs up north to join a mining camp.

To his shock, Jennie turns up there as well. She and Hilda (Pitts), the owner of the Viking Ship, offered themselves as "lottery brides," brides for the men in the camp. Jennie is won by Chris' brother Olaf (Robert Chisholm). Olaf is kind to Jennie, but she and Chris are still deeply in love. After Alberto turns up with his dirigible, Chris joins the crew. Jennie's terrified when the ship goes down in the Arctic wastes and insists on organizing a search party herself. Meanwhile, Olaf goes after his brother on his own with a sled dog, hoping to bring his brother home and back to his beloved Jennie.

The Song and Dance: Well, I give this one credit for being original. At least, unlike the last operetta I reviewed that was set in Norway, this one moves pretty fast for a movie of its era and involves no children whatsoever. MacDonald and Garrick sing beautifully and wear some pretty fabulous costumes, including fur coats that must have cost more than the entire city of Oslo. Brown and Pitts make the most of their limited roles, stealing the show with their surprisingly decent chemistry whenever they're on-screen. 

The Numbers: We open with the college students and their sweethearts populating the Viking Ship performing "Yubla," before MacDonald and the chorus take over. Chris and Jennie insist that they are "My Northern Lights" while strolling together at the club. "The Marathon" is performed to a driving instrumental number from the orchestra that picks up as we see more and more couples drop out. "When a Brother Needs a Friend" is the rousing number for the brothers and the chorus in the mining camp's recreational hall. "I'll Follow the Trail" is the camp's song for the dirigible crew when it arrives. It's reprised by the chorus when the dirigible leaves for its ill-fated journey with Chris as part of the crew. "You're an Angel," Olaf sings to Jennie, not knowing she's in love with his brother.

Trivia: The movie as it stands online and on Kino Lorber DVD is missing ten minutes of footage, including the two-strip Technicolor finale with the dirigible and more scenes with Brown and Pitts. That version has been restored and was shown on Turner Classic Movies in 2011. 

John Garrick would go on to be a popular singer and actor in British film during the 30's and 40s. 

What I Don't Like: I don't think even a two-strip Technicolor finale with a crashing dirigible could save this mess. MacDonald is clearly bored other than her singing, and Garrick is playing a jerk who dumps his girlfriend over something she could have explained and runs off, twice. Pitts and Brown may be the best thing about the movie, but their parts are so greatly reduced, they have almost nothing to do in the second half. It's like someone threw together the worst parts of five different movies and tried blending them together. Absolutely nothing makes sense, including the lovers ending up together. Frankly, Olaf may not have been the most passionate guy, but he treated Jennie a lot better than his brother did.

The Big Finale: Only for the most ardent enthusiasts of MacDonald, operetta, or the early talkie era.

Home Media: As mentioned, the truncated version can be found on DVD and on streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - Something to Sing About

Grand National Pictures, 1937

Starring James Cagney, Evelyn Daw, William Frawley, and Gene Lockhart

Directed by Victor Schertzinger

Music and Lyrics by Victor Schlesinger

I Go Pogo was far from the only independent movie that ran into trouble with distributors. Grand National Pictures began in 1936 as an alternative to the many B-level Poverty Row studios. Hiring James Cagney, who was then feuding with his usual home-base Warner Bros, was considered a great coup for them. They threw Cagney into two lavish (for them) films, of which this is the second. It's also Cagney's second time singing and dancing on-screen. He started out as a hoofer on Broadway and still considered himself to more-or-less be one. How does Cagney's second foray into musicals after Footlight Parade look nowadays? Let's join Terry Rooney (Cagney) and his band at their latest nightclub and radio gig and find out...

The Story: Terry is off to Hollywood to make movies with studio owner B.O Regan (Lockhart). He leaves his band and his fiancee Rita (Daw) behind, promising to return. Terry doesn't find his time in Hollywood easy. Fearing his new discovery getting a big head, Regan has ordered his people not to praise Terry in any way. This culminates in an onscreen fist fight that turns too real for Terry's liking. He leaves and goes back to the band, marrying Rita. When he returns, he discovers that the movie has been released and was a huge success. 

The studio already has his second movie planned. They convince him to keep his marriage silent. Studio publicist Hank Meyers (Frawley) plants news stories claiming Terry and actress Stephanie Hajos (Mona Barrie) are an item. Terry is kept in Hollywood for so long dealing with all this and his new contract, Rita feels neglected and returns to the band. Terry has to finally take control of both his careers and prove his marriage to Rita is more important to him than any movie.

The Song and Dance: And "dance" is the real operative word here. We do get to see Cagney strut his stuff, including three solo dances. Great cast for what amounts to a B-pick here, too. Frawley and Lockhart are hilarious as the publicist who thinks he can drum up interest no matter what the real story is, and the studio head who worries that his new discovery will get too big for him to handle.

The Numbers: We open over the credits and in the first few minutes with Rita performing the title song. Terry gives us his first dance sequence, tapping in a rather Fred Astaire-like top hat, white tie, and tails across the nightclub floor. His second instrumental dance number is as he's about to leave for Hollywood. He shows off for Rita and the band, this time in a simpler suit and bucket hat, even swinging an amused Rita around. Rita and the band perform their new ballad "Right or Wrong" over the phone for Terry. 

Terry sings "Any Old Love" with a bevy of ladies in the movie-within-the-movie. His third solo is dancing with two officers (Cagney's real-life partners and teachers Johnny Boyle and Hartland Dixon) on the tramp steamer that takes him and Rita to the South Seas for their honeymoon. Rita sings "Out of the Blue" when she rejoins the band on the East Coast. She sings "Loving You" and reprises "Right or Wrong" at the nightclub in the finale. "Loving You" also gives us one last dance from Terry.

Trivia: Grand National threw everything they had into their Cagney pictures...too much, as it turned out. This and the comedy Great Guy were too lavish for their audiences. Between that, the difficulties a newly-formed company had bucking the studio system of the time, and no breakout hits in the so-so score, Sing About wound up a flop...and took down Grand National with it. Grand National closed their doors in 1940. Warner Bros ended up buying Cagney's contract and the next movie Grand National had intended to make with him, Angels With Dirty Faces. 

What I Don't Like: Cagney, his dances, and the decent cast are pretty much the only things of interest here. Otherwise, it's pretty obvious this was a low-budget B-film from the late 30's. As mentioned, the songs are dull, the story perfunctory, the Hollywood satire toothless. This isn't anything you haven't seen in countless spoofs of the movies going back to the silent era, and this does nothing really new with it other than the idea of Terry walking out.

The Big Finale: Only for the most devoted fans of Cagney and the cast. 

Home Media: This is in the public domain, so it's easy to find anywhere in most formats. It's currently streaming on Tubi with commercials. 

DVD

Tubi

Election Day Special - I Go Pogo

21st Century Film Corporation, 1980

Voices of Skip Hinnant, Johnathan Winters, Vincent Price, and Bob McFadden

Directed by Marc Paul Chinoy

Music by Gary Baker; Lyrics by Tom Flora

Our first review this week is so obscure, I never even heard of it until last week. I have, however, heard of the comic strip it's based on. Walt Kelly's Pogo started in 1948 and became one of the most popular comic strips of the 1950's and 60's. Its homespun characters, creative use of language, and spot-on political satire made it a favorite of kids and adults alike. The comic had already begun falling out of favor when Kelly passed away in 1973. There had already been two attempts at putting the strip on TV, but this would be its first and only movie outing. How does this laid-back stop-motion comedy compare to the much-loved strip? Let's begin in Georgia's Okefenokie Swamp as the title song introduces our main premise and characters and find out...

The Story: Everyone in the swamp is bound and determined for Pogo (Hinnant) to run for president...except Pogo himself. Pogo would rather be fishing and thinks the entire process is nonsense. Molester Mole (Winters), Deacon Mushrat (Price), Albert Alligator (Stan Freberg), and Howland Owl (McFadden) in particular are determined for Pogo to win the nomination for the presidency. They think of everything they can do to force him to campaign, from painting him as part of "Mount Rushmore" on a fence (his head gets stuck) to attempting to marry him off to skunk Mis Mam'selle Hepzibah (Ruth Buzzi) so he'll have a first lady. Molester and Mushrat even call on the unreliable Wiley Katt (Winters) at one point. In the end, as Pogo and the narrator point out, the more they try to fix things to their own ends, the more of mess they make of it all.

The Animation: The stop-motion has been criticized for not looking much like the characters in the comics. Not having read the comics, I can't make the comparison there. I can say that, though they move decently enough for the time and their facial expressions are occasionally hilarious, they're all so rounded and undefined, it's hard to tell what animal most of them are supposed to be. (I would not have guessed "possum" for Pogo, for instance, or muskrat for the Deacon.)

The Song and Dance: I will give them credit for assembling such a wonderful all-star cast. Hinnant is a charming Pogo, while Price actually manages a decent southern accent as the conniving Deacon. Freburg and McFadden also make the most of the twisty and frequent dialogue. Buzzi does well by her two very different characters, making Hepzibah sweet and silky and motherly Miz Beaver warm and no-nonsense.

The Numbers: We open with the title song as we see the locations that will later turn up in the film. Porky Pine (Winters) laments that "It's Hard to Be a Friend" when the others are all busy with the campaign and he has no one to fish with. It's "Convention Time," and the animals cheer Pogo on. "Pogo In Desperation" is an attempt to point out to the others that he's not suited to the candidacy. The others would rather give "Hail and Cheers" at the rally. "The Chase!" is on as everyone goes after their candidate in the finale.

Trivia: 21st Century Film Corporation pulled a little chicanery of their own when they told the animators they would get this national distribution in time for the 1980 election, with a one million promotional budget and a "Pogo for President" write-in campaign. They ended up sending it straight to video instead. It was only available through Fotomat's rental service.

An edited version with added narration would eventually turn up on cable, including HBO, Showtime, and The Disney Channel. This version would also be re-released on video by Disney in 1984 and 1989. (It's this version that I based my review on.)

Skip Hinnant's last theatrical film.

Among the later cartoonists Kelly's work inspired were Gary Trudeau (Doonsbury), Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes), and Jeff MacNelly (Shoe). 

What I Don't Like: For all the great characters, first of all, there's too much talk and way too little action. Three fourths of the movie is just characters plotting and plotting with very little to show for it. The narration they added for cable only makes things more confusing. The plot is barely existent, and is mainly there to show off the cast and Walt Kelly's trademark unique words. And once again, I've never read the comics, but some comments online say this lacks it's charm and wordplay. I have to agree with another comment that the stop-motion doesn't really seem to suit the characters. They would have been better off in regular 2D animation. 

The Big Finale: Only for the most ardent fans of the Pogo comics or the cast. Everyone else can leave this one alone in the swamp.

Home Media: This is so obscure, it's never been on DVD, to my knowledge. The only way you can find it is in the cable-edited version with the narration on YouTube.

YouTube

Cult Flops - Cats (2019)

Universal, 2019

Starring Francesca Hayward, Judi Dench, Idris Alba, and Jennifer Hudson

Directed by Tom Hooper

Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber; Lyrics by T.S Elliot and Taylor Swift

Cats is another musical from the last 40 years that had a long road to the big screen. It had been a smash everywhere it played since its debut on the West End in 1981. Steven Spielburg had originally planned on turning it into an animated film in the early 90's, but then his studio Amblinmaion shut down. A taping of the stage show in London did make it to home media in the late 90's and received excellent reviews, but most people thought that was the closest Cats would ever get to the big screen...until 2013, when Andrew Lloyd Webber started talking about a film adaptation. The movie finally debuted in December 2019 to some of the worst reviews and box-office for a major film that year. Does it deserve that fate, or should this Jellicle Cat get another chance to ascend the Heavinside Layer? Let's begin on the streets of London with the arrival of something the cat let out of the bag, a scared white kitten named Victoria (Hayward), and find out...

The Story: Victoria was abandoned on the streets of London just in time for the Jellicle Cats to have their Jellicle Ball. This is where they decide which cat will ascend to the Heavinside Layer and be granted a new life. Victoria meets all the competitors - Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson), a domestic tabby who can make mice and cockroaches dance, Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo), known for his extravagance, Skimbleshanks (Steven MacRae), a ginger cat who works for the railroad, Gus (Ian McKellen), a kindly old cat who had once played major roles onstage, and Busterphous Jones (James Corden), a plump tuxedo cat who shares his food with the others. 

Each one vanishes before Victoria's eyes, to her horror and that of Old Deuteonomy (Judi Dench), the head cat who will decide which will make the ascension. Macavity (Alba) wants to be the one chosen, and he'll do anything to get that new life, including eliminate the competition. Meanwhile, at the ball, Victoria befriends Grizabella the Glamour Cat (Hudson), who had once been aligned with Macavity. When Macavity takes off with Old Deuteonomy, it's Victoria who suggests that magician cat Mr. Mistoffelees (Laurie Robinson) use his magic to retrieve her. It works, inspiring the other cats to rescue themselves. Old Deuteonomy doesn't need a song and dance to know which cat is truly worthy of the Heavinside Layer, and Victoria to know where she truly belongs.

The Song and Dance: While yeah, this is not a great movie, or even a decent one, a few good things do manage to sneak in. Swift and Webber's "Beautiful Ghosts" is a genuinely touching song that sounds gorgeous on Hayward. Swift, rather surprisingly, isn't too horrible as Macavity's current flame Bombilina, Dench gives Old Deuteonomy tremendous gravity under her thick fur, and Alba makes a perfectly slick and greedy Macavity. 

The Numbers: We open with Victoria's entrance to the first chorus number, which introduces us to "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats." Mr. Mistofflees and Munkustrap (Robbie Fairchild) introduce "The Naming of Cats" and give "The Invitation to the Jellicle Ball." Munkustrap takes Victoria into a typical London home to introduce "Jennyanydots: The Old Gumbie Cat" and her dancing mice and cockroaches. She in turn introduces "The Rum Tum Tugger." Victoria stops several young cats from abusing "Grizabella the Glamour Cat," and befriends the exiled former animal star. Rum Tum Tugger takes Victoria to meet "Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town" and his huge appetite. Victoria gets into major trouble - and almost gets attacked by a dog - thanks to the mischievous cat burglar twins "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer." 

"Growltiger's Last Stand" gives us the nasty old pirate cat who watches the kidnapped competitors for Macavity. Munkustrap brings Victoria to meet "Old Deuteonomy," who begins "The Jellicle Ball." Grizabella tells Victoria about her "Memory" of better times, while Victoria admits that all she has are "Beautiful Ghosts." Old Deutoeonomy talks about "The Moments of Happiness" and introduces "Gus the Theater Cat." Munkustrap takes us for a ride with "Skimbleshanks: the Railway Cat." Bombalurina (Swift) performs a lurid number about her current lover "Macavity: The Mystery Cat." Victoria and Munkustrap encourage "Mr. Mistofflees" to use his magic and free the missing cats. After everyone has been returned, Grizabella and Victoria reprise "Memory," while Victoria and Old Deutoenonomy reprise "Beautiful Ghosts." The movie finishes with "The Journey to the Heavinside Layer" and Old Deutoenonomy describing "The Ad-Dressing of Cats."

Trivia: Cats ran from 1981 through 2002 in London and 1982 through 2000 in New York. It had brief limited-run revivals in 2014 in London and 2016 in New York and saw a stripped-down off-Broadway production in 2024. The off-Broadway production is currently said to be moving to Broadway in April 2026. It also occasionally turns up in regional stages for theaters with a large amount of dancers or who are looking for a surefire audience pleaser.

What I Don't Like: The idea of humans dressed as cats and dancing in giant sets made to look like the back alleys and bourgeois homes of London is far more believable onstage, where you can feel the intimacy of all those people dancing almost literally around you, than it is on film. If they had to adapt it to film at all, they should have stuck to animation. Even with the revised special effects put out after the ones in the first version of the movie were said to be terrible, this still looks ridiculous. It's more like dancing AI animal paintings than human-sized cats moving around gracefully. 

Hayward dances beautifully and does do well by "Beautiful Ghosts," but she otherwise spends most of the movie looking scared or blank. Most of the cast, including Rebel Wilson as the languid Jennyanydots and lively Robinson as Mistofflees, are defeated by their silly dance numbers, the almost spooky uncanny valley CGI, or just not being onscreen for very long. The movie shares a problem with the Broadway show in that there's so many cats who do so much, none of them are on the screen for very long. You don't get to know the ones like Bombalurina or Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer you'd like to know better. Hudson's far too bombastic as Grizabella and certainly doesn't suggest an aging glamour cat. 

The Big Finale: I'm going to be honest and admit that, though I have the original cast album, I've never been a fan of the stage Cats, either. "Memory" aside, it all just seemed too silly and way too much. This certainly won't change my mind. Unless you're a really huge fan of Swift, Webber, or any of the stars involved, you can look for "Beautiful Ghosts" online and abandon the rest of this one on the streets of London without another thought.

Home Media: Easily found everywhere, including on disc (often for under $10) and on Netflix and Amazon Prime with subscriptions.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Netflix

Animation Celebration Saturday - Once Upon a Forest

20th Century Fox, 1993

Voices of Michael Crawford, Ellen Blain, Benji Gregory, and Paige Gosney

Directed by Charles Grosvenor

Music by James Horner; Lyrics by Will Jennings and others

Concern for the environment was so prevalent during the early 90's that it even seeped into animation. Having had mild success with Ferngully: The Last Rainforest the year before, Fox returned to the well with an even more emotional story about taking care of our earth. It wasn't a hit at the time, but is it worth checking out 30 years later? Let's begin with dawn at a lovely meadow called Dapplewood, as the animal residents are starting to awaken, and find out...

The Story: Cornelius the badger (Crawford) mentors four little "Furlings," Abigail the energetic mouse (Blain), Edgar the sweet and shy mole (Gregory), Russell the always-hungry hedgehog (Gosney), and his sweet little niece Michelle (Elizabeth Moss). One day, poison gas from a ruptured truck leaks into the forest. The children are with Cornelius and are unharmed, but Michelle loses her parents and inhales the gas. Cornelius sends Abigail, Edgar, and Russell to retrieve Lung-wort and Eye-bright, the only herbs that can save the little badger. The trio learn to work together to avoid a barn owl, cross a construction site, help a wren (Rickey D'Shon Collins) get unstuck from the mud, and retrieve the lung-wort from a cliff, and discover their own hidden talents in the process.

The Animation: Extremely Disney-esque and very typical of this time period and of Hanna-Barbara. The woods are beautiful, with their sun-dappled forests and blooming plants...but then you get the ultra-realistic construction site and the devastation wrought by the poison gas. The animals look like a cross between The Secret of Nimh and some of the cutesier Hanna-Barbara TV shows of the 1980s like The Biskitts or Shirt Tales. They're designed to be adorable, especially little Michelle, but they can get some darker expressions out of them - check out when they realize Michelle is sick.

The Song and Dance: I do give Hanna Barbera some kudos for daring to go this dark. Even Ferngully: The Last Rainforest didn't kill off characters or completely destroy the forest. This is darker than some Disney movies of the 90's. Crawford makes an appropriately gruff mentor, and Ben Vereen does get into his big number with the birds and the Furlings after they rescue the wren from the mud. 

The Numbers: Our first number isn't until 15 minutes in, but it's the devastating "Please Wake Up," sung by Cornelius to the comatose Michelle after she's gassed. Even Crawford had a hard time performing this emotional ballad of love and loss. "He's Gone" is the birds' number when they think they're losing the wren to the mud. They change this to the joyous "He's Back" after the kids get him out. Florence Warner Jones performs the gentle "Once Upon a Time With Me" over the closing credits.

Trivia: This would be the last Hanna-Barbera movie released to theaters.

What I Don't Like: See that "dark" thing above. Um, what audience did Hanna-Barbera intend this for again? The cutesy kid animal characters and bucolic setting indicate a children's movie, but the poison gas, construction site, and bird stuck in the mud mourned by his family at a funeral are more likely to give them nightmares, or at least upset them quite a bit. No wonder it was a massive flop in 1993. Some audiences today might not know what to make of this, let alone then. The sequence with the birds and the wren is totally out of left field and feels like it was dropped in from another movie entirely to give Vereen something to do. 

The Big Finale: That said, there are quite a few people who saw this on video in the 90's and found it profoundly moving. Frankly, while it can be moving, the clash of tones and utterly depressing plot was a bit too much for me. Your mileage may vary on whether your elementary school kids are up to this one; might actually be better for tweens if you can get them past the cute animals.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - The Goldywn Follies

Samuel Goldwyn/United Artists, 1938

Starring Adolph Menjou, Andrea Leeds, Vora Zorina, and Kenny Baker

Directed by George Marshall and H.C Potter

Music by Vernon Duke and George Gershwin; Lyrics by Ira Gershwin

Despite the initial success of The Hollywood Revue of 1929 and the decent showing of Paramount On Parade, revues fell out of favor rather quickly in Hollywood. It seemed people did want some semblance of a plot along with their songs and sketches. Even when musicals came back into style with the phenomenal popularity of 42nd Street, revues were not, conspicuously, part of the line-up. Most of the studios tried to revive them, but they tended to turn into something else, as with the decidedly peculiar Hollywood Party. Samuel Goldwyn's musicals had always been known more for their largess than their stories. With Eddie Cantor having left by 1938, Goldwyn opted to throw his focus into this million-dollar semi-revue that showcases some of the top acts of the day. How well do those acts work in this story of a producer who hires a young woman to give his films "the common touch?" Let's start in a small town, where producer Oliver Merlin (Menjou) is about to film a scene with his top actress Olga Samara (Zorina) and find out...

The Story: Sensible small-town girl Hazel Dawes (Leeds) tells Martin point-blank while watching the shoot that she thinks the whole romance is a lot of hooey. Samara doesn't look or act like a normal person in love. Merlin is so enchanted by her honest opinion, he hires her to be "Miss Humanity" and evaluate his films from the point of view of the ordinary, everyday theater-goer. He wants to keep Hazel free of Hollywood affectations, but she falls for sweet singing soda jerk Danny Beecher (Baker). Danny's such a wonderful singer that she gets him a job on the radio, which leads him to a Hollywood contract. Now Hazel is torn between her feelings for Danny and her "common" opinions. Not to mention, Martin has fallen for her, too, and there's a whole bevy of crazy comedians, nutty animal trainers, and wacky ventriloquist acts who are dying to get into Martin's newest show.

The Song and Dance: And with a story that fluffy, song and dance is pretty much the only thing of interest here. As goofy as the story is, some of the numbers are genuinely good. Ira Gershwin turned out a wonderful score, with his brother George and with Vernon Duke after George died. Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy get a few good wisecracks as the ventriloquist act that manages to charm the passionate Olga, while Broadway comedian Bobby Clark also has his moments as Martin's randy assistant. The color is exquisite on the copy I watched, almost candy-like in its softer pastel charms. Menjou is the stand-out along with the music as the producer who is so delighted with his new "common" lady and how she's helped his pictures, he can't see she's falling for someone else.

The Numbers: The two big chorus routines are ballets for Zorina and the American Ballet of the Metropolitan Opera. The "Romeo and Juliet Ballet" turns the famous Shakespearean tragedy into the tale of a war between popular tap dancers and jazz performers and ballet dancers and violinists in Paris. It ends up with a happy ending when Hazel complains that it's too dark and not much fun. "The Water Nymph Ballet," with has Zorina as a supernatural creature in love with a human, is better-received by Hazel. The Ritz Brothers play Russian dancers in "The Volga Boatmen" to impress Zorina. They make use of their animal act to bring in dozens of cats for "Here Pussy Pussy." Their "Serenade to a Fish" turns them into Romans, then mermen. 

Baker gets to introduce the film's three hit songs. He sings "Love Walked In" at the soda shop, and later on the radio. He also gets the standard "Our Love Is Here to Stay" and "Spring Again" in the finale at Hollywood. Scottish comedienne Ella Logan introduces "I Was Doing Alright." Poor Michael Day (Phil Baker), whose parts are perpetually cut or changed, finally gets his chance to play the accordion with "I Love to Rhyme." Opera star Helen Jepson sings numbers from "La Traviata" with baritone Charles Kulllmann and "La Serenada." 

Trivia: George Gershwin's last film project. He died during production. 

What I Don't Like: Despite having an actual story and some terrific Gershwin and Gershwin-Duke songs, this is even more of a mish-mash than the early talkie revues. Zorina is a block of ice with a strange accent, Baker and Leeds are bland as the "common people," and the comedians all seem to have walked in from other, better films entirely. The two ballet sequences are lovely, but seem out of place among the less lavish numbers. It's all just throne together with more budget than sense, despite its emphasis on finding humanity and making movies more "real." That simple story is also drawn out way beyond too long, and the ending drags like crazy. Some of the later numbers could have been trimmed with no one the wiser.

The Big Finale: In the end, this is probably of interest only to fans of ballet, the Gershwins, or the comedians in question. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, the former from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - It's a Great Life

MGM, 1929

Starring Vivian and Rosetta Duncan, Laurence Gray, and Jed Prouty

Directed by Sam Wood

Music by Dave Dryer; Lyrics by Ballard MacDonald

We're going backstage this week at the dawn of the early sound era. After the wild success of The Broadway Melody, MGM pretty much used that as a template for all of its theater-set musicals from 1929 through 1932. Vivian and Rosetta Duncan were the inspirations and original casting choices for the sister act in Broadway Melody. Their close-harmony comedy act had been captivating audiences in vaudeville, the stage, and on silent film since 1911. MGM figured it made sense to star the sisters in their own Broadway Melody variant about a small-time sister act who breaks up when one gets married. How does it look now, over 90 years later? Let's begin at a department store, where the head manager (George Periolat) is getting ready to lead the clerks in song, and find out...

The Story: Diminutive Casey Hogan (Rosetta Duncan) and her slightly ditsy younger sister Babe (Vivian Duncan) get into trouble when Casey does comedy when she's just supposed to be dancing in the store's annual talent show. That doesn't put her over with Jimmy Dean (Gray), the piano player in the sheet music department who is in love with Babe and is directing the show. Jimmy tries an act with Babe, but it doesn't really work until Casey joins in, too. That puts it over better...until Babe and Jimmy claim they want to get married. Casey is devastated, and they break up the act. Casey is ready to marry David Parker (Prouty), the department store manager who has been in love with her for years...until Jimmy tells her that her sister has collapsed. She's delirious...and will respond to no one but her sister.

The Song and Dance: The first half of this one, when they're at the department store and doing vaudeville together, is actually kind of fun. Vivian's bland and a bit annoying, but Rosetta can be a riot, especially playing off the combative Gray. The movie is surprisingly fast-paced for the era. Wood gives a real sense of bustle to the early scenes, especially at the botched talent show and when the trio are on their vaudeville tour. It's rare for a film of this vintage to still have its color scenes. Apparently, those were rediscovered in the 90's. That fashion show in particular doesn't look too bad today. 

The Numbers: We open with the store song, "Smile, Smile, Smile," during a meeting. Casey finds it to be more than a little maudlin and goofs off and makes wisecracks throughout the entire number. Our first Technicolor sequence is "Fashion Through the Day," the fashion show sequence that goes awry when the girls get in the wrong order and come down when the singer isn't talking about their costumes. The movie returns to black and white for a rather dreadful tenor murdering "Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella." He sounds whiny and can't even remember the lyrics. Babe attempts a solo, "The Sweetheart's Song," but she has an attack of stage fright, and Casey saves the number by turning it into a comedy. Casey and Babe do better by their simple, sweet close harmony number, "I'm Following You." 

The Hogans reprise this in their vaudeville act, climbing out of Jimmy's piano. This is actually rather charming, showing us what vaudeville acts like the Duncans meant to their audiences. The two of them dressing in goofy Spanish costumes and singing "It's an Old Spanish Custom" and "If I Love You"as an exaggerated Victorian lass and gentleman is a little stranger. The movie ends with Babe's Technicolor fever dream...and considering the wild Art Deco sets, it's almost literally one. The Hogans start out by singing "Hoosier Hop" with bad back-up dancers in gingham bonnets. They end things by having the chorus girls slide down silvery "sunbeams" in "Sailing On Sunbeams."

What I Don't Like: Yeah, I can see why this was such a flop, the Duncans never made another feature-length film. It starts out pretty cute, but the bottom drops out pretty quickly once Jimmy and Babe get married. The melodrama is dull, silly, and annoying. Some of Casey and Jimmy's bickering gets obnoxious to the point of being plain nasty. No wonder Babe got so sick. Jed Prouty is supposed to be Casey's love interest, but he's such a nonentity, you understand why Casey ran back to her sister. (Oh, and Warner, the color on the copy currently at YouTube could stand for some restoration, particularly in "Sailing On Sunbeams.")

The Big Finale: Only for the most ardent fans of the Duncans, vaudeville, or the early talkie era. Everyone else would be better off looking for the Technicolor numbers solo online.

Home Media: It's on DVD from the Warner Archives, but like most 1929 titles now in the public domain, you're better off streaming this one.

DVD

YouTube

Cult Flops - When the Boys Meet the Girls

MGM, 1965

Starring Connie Francis, Harve Presnell, Sue Ann Langdon, and Frank Faylen

Directed by Alvin Ganzer 

Music by George Gershwin and others; Lyrics by Ira Gershwin and others

Let's head back to the US for our last vacation of the summer season. We're also honoring Connie Francis, who passed away last month. She - and her performance of its title song - was a big part of the reason Where the Boys Are was one of the biggest hits of 1960. Though her recording career continued to do well, MGM failed to find an appropriate follow-up film. Her next two movie vehicles were both flops. MGM banked on this one, a remake of their 1943 Judy Garland-Mickey Rooney vehicle Girl Crazy, to revive Francis' flagging career and give their newly-minted musical leading man Presnell a boost. How well did they do updating Girl Crazy to the Beach Party-addicted mid-60's? Let's begin at an all-male college, where Danny Churchill (Presnell) has just replaced the all-male chorus in drag with a very female one, and find out...

The Story: Danny is expelled and sent to another school in the Arizona desert, one with absolutely no girls in it. Actually, it does have one. Ginger Grey, who delivers the mail, almost literally runs into Danny and his friend Sam (Joby Baker) in Danny's sports car. He helps Ginger retrieve her father Phin (Faylen) from Reno, where he's gambled away every cent they have. They'll lose the ranch if they don't make the money to pay them off soon. Danny finally brings in other local kids to turn the ranch into a hotel for divorcees. It does help a lot of women going through a bad time, like Kate (Hortense Petra), but it also attracts Danny's gold-digging ex-girlfriend Tess Rawley (Langdon). Danny fled to avoid paying her hush money, and now it looks like she wants him to pay up, and now.

The Song and Dance: As weird as this is, there are some things that work. Like Summer Holiday, this is a full-on musical, with ballads, duets, and big chorus numbers. Some of the songs work, and there's a few performances that at least have the right goofy spirit. Faylen has a great time as Ginger's well-meaning, gambling-addicted father, Baker has some hilarious moments as Danny's best friend, and there's Petra as the frequently-married hotel resident Kate and Fred Clark as Phin's wealthy friend Bill Denning. There's gorgeous Technicolor here, too, and some really nice desert shooting. 

The Numbers: We get "Treat Me Rough" twice. The chorus girls hired for the boys' college stage show in the opening sing it before the dean (Bill Quinn) finds out and shuts the show down. Tess reprises it as a comic solo number later, when she's singing at the divorcee hotel. Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs perform "Monkey See, Monkey Do" at a nightclub in full mystical and mustaches regalia. Presnell and Francis also each get a go at "Embraceable You." Louis Armstrong does "Throw It Out of Your Mind" at the casino in Reno. Connie Francis makes a "Mail Call" at the boys' college, handing out dreams of home along with letters. 

Herman's Hermits, who are exchange students at the school, perform their own "Listen People," along with "Bidin' My Time" with Ginger while they're building the ranch. Liberace gives an example of why he was so beloved among older people in his glittering gold suit as he plays his own "Aruba Liberace." Danny and Ginger lament "But Not for Me" after she thinks he's still in love with Tess and he thinks she's marrying someone else. The film ends with everyone paired off and Armstrong performing his own version of "I've Got Rhythm."

What I Don't Like: What does any of this have to do with Girl Crazy? In the original show, Danny was sent to manage his family's ranch, and he saves it by turning it into a dude ranch. That would have made a lot more sense than the whole "haven for divorcees" sub-plot. The new orchestrations do the Gershwin songs no favors, and the rock numbers are completely out of place with them. Presnell is dull, Francis shrill and annoying, Langdon whiny. None of them are as much fun to watch as the rock groups or their elders. It seems like MGM just tossed in whatever they could get their hands on to see if it would stick. Herman's Hermits do get to sing two numbers and take part in others, but they vanish after "Bidin' My Time" without explanation. 

The Big Finale: Mainly for fans of Herman's Hermits or any of the acts involved. Everyone else will probably be fine with the Garland-Rooney Girl Crazy or Francis and the Hermits' solo albums. 

Home Media: At least this one is easier to find. It's currently on DVD in a beautifully remastered copy from the Warner Archives and can be found on streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - Burlesque (2010)

Sony/Columbia, 2010

Starring Christine Aguilera, Cher, Eric Dane, and Stanley Tucci

Directed by Steven Antin

Music and Lyrics by various

Evidently, some important lessons were not learned from the failure of Glitter. Director/writer Steve Antin created this one back in 2002 after seeing Aguilera and other artists perform at the Roxy Theater nightclub in Hollywood. He fashioned this story for her, and later for Cher, after she decided this would likely be her last chance to sing in a major musical. Though it was better-received at the time than Glitter and didn't suffer from that film's production problems or universal pans, it wasn't a huge hit with critics or audiences, either. Why didn't it work? Let's begin as Alice "Ali" Rose (Aguilera) takes money from her abusive boss and heads to Los Angeles and find out...

The Story: Ali has dreamed of dancing professionally ever since she lost her mother at age 7. She has little success, until she stops in a burlesque club owned by singer Tess Scali (Cher) and flirts with the bartender Jack Miller (Cam Gigandet). He suggests she audition, but Tess isn't willing to give her the time of day, until she notices their waitress shortage and grabs a tray to help out. Ali eventually joins the chorus after one of the dancers reveals she's pregnant, then gets the star roles when lead dancer Nikki (Kristen Bell) is too drunk to go on. The jealous Nikki turns off the music they usually lip sync to, but Ali just sings in her own voice.

Despite Ali becoming the talk of the town, Tess is in serious financial trouble. Her ex-husband Vince (Peter Gallagher) wants to sell to developer Marcus Gerber (Dane), who wants to build an office tower. He claims he only owns the "air rights" over the club. Ali has been having her own problems. She was living with Jack while his fiancee Natalie (Dianna Agron) was doing a play in New York, but leaves when Natalie catches them in bed together. She ends up with Marcus, only to discover he has a lot more in mind for the burlesque theater than making use of its "air rights." She and Tess have to reveal the truth to the developer across the street (James Brolin) in order to save the theater and the song and dance they both love so much.

The Song and Dance: The song and dance...and some surprisingly strong performances...are the key here. Unlike weepy Carey, Aguilera is obviously having a blast. She's not the greatest actress by any means, but she manages to hold her own against the magnetic Cher and Tucci and even does decently in the dramatic scenes. Cher's even more fun as the older businesswoman who sees Ali as her last chance for fame and to save the club she loves. Tucci's hilarious as her gay partner, and Alan Cummings gets a few good lines as a dancer at the club. The brief, glittery costumes and the theater itself are just as important characters as the actual humans, especially as Ali rises to fame in the first half. The spangles, beads, and feather fans evoke the naughty world of the older Gypsy Rose Lee burlesques of the 30's and 40's, but the music and attitudes are decidedly modern.

The Numbers: We open with Ali's dream at the club and "Something's Got a Hold On Me." "My Drag" is the first of our chorus numbers. Cher performs "Welcome to Burlesque" after we get our first chorus number. "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" starts out with leather and studs as Nikki sings along to Marilyn Monroe's recording...but it turns into Ali's big number, complete with her own vocals. Nikki sings "Long John Blues" before she's ousted. 

Ali joins the chorus for "Nasty Naughty Boy" and auditions to the "Wagon Wheel Watusi." Madonna's "Ray of Light" is a chorus number for all of the girls. "Tough Lover" is Ali's rise to fame, while "But I'm a Good Girl" and "A Guy What Takes His Time" are 30's feather fan and barely-there-pearls stripteases. "Express" is heard near the end for Ali and the girls. Tess defiantly belts "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" when she's on the verge of losing her club. Ali laments that she's "Bound to You," then finishes the movie with the big finale to "Show Me How to Burlesque." 

What I Don't Like: It's too bad all of these glittering numbers and enjoyable performances are bound to one of the silliest and most cliched scripts I've ever seen. This story has been done endlessly since cinema found its voice in the late 20's, and Burlesque does nothing fresh or inventive with it. The whole thing with buying the air rights and Tucci's sexuality do add mild modern twists, but it's not enough to sustain a whole movie. 

There's also the problem of Gigandet's character. Jack is, frankly, a jerk, inviting one woman over while his fiancee was half-way across the country, then lying and telling Ali he was free when he wasn't. Ali does deal with it somewhat better than Billie dealt with her betrayal, but she still went back to the jerk in the end after he left his fiancee (supposedly) for good. Nikki's alcohol story is defeated by the cliches and Bell's overwrought performance. 

The Big Finale: I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed this one, cliches and all. If you're a fan of the leading ladies or love huge, flashy musicals and are willing to overlook or ignore the heavy cliche storm, you may end up having just as much fun at Tess's burlesque theater, too.

Home Media: Thankfully, this one is also a lot easier to find. The discs often turn up for under $5, and it's everywhere on streaming.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime