Daddy Long Legs (1955)

20th Century Fox, 1955

Starring Fred Astaire, Leslie Caron, Fred Clark, and Thelma Ritter

Directed by Jean Negulesco

Music and Lyrics by Johnny Mercer

This week, we jump ahead to the 1950's for one of my favorite underrated musicals. Leslie Caron was one of the most popular stars of the decade, in and out of musicals. She started the decade in the Oscar-winning An American In Paris with Gene Kelly, and while Lili wasn't a huge hit, her personal notices were glowing. Astaire personally asked her to star alongside him in this updated musical version of the 1912 novel of the same name. We've already seen it done once at this blog, as the adorable Shirley Temple vehicle Curly Top in 1935. How different is this version from that previous one? Let's begin at the home of millionaire Jervis Pendleton III (Astaire) as we see people touring his home and find out...

The Story: Jervis is on assignment in France when he stops at an orphanage to use their telephone. While there, he sees 18-year-old Julie Andre (Caron) working with the younger children and is enchanted with her vivacity, her creativity, and her intelligence. Over the protests of his fussy aide Griggs (Clark), he arranges for her to attend college in the United States with his niece Linda (Terry Moore). To avoid a scandal, he says he'll keep a hands-off approach, and she can write to him about her progress once a month. 

Jervis doesn't even look at Julie's letters at first, until his secretary Alice Pritchard (Thelma Ritter) brings them to his attention. Julie calls him her benefactor "Daddy Long Legs," after the long shadow the orphans saw when he was first in France, but she's getting tired of never hearing from him. He finally connects with her at a school dance while visiting Linda with her mother Gertrude (Kathryn Giveny) and falls for her, taking her out on the town and sending the boy who is interested in her to work in Bolivia. Griggs points out their rather large age difference, which makes Jarvis flee for several long business trips. Julie, however, is almost finished with college. She thinks she still hasn't met her "Daddy Long Legs" and wonders if he or Jervis really love her. It's Alice who finally convinces the men that age matters less than love, companionship, and compatibility. 

The Song and Dance: For all the trouble they had making this - Fred Astaire's wife died right before filming began and they almost replaced him, the studio originally wanted Mitzi Gaynor for Julie - it actually came out quite well. Astaire and Caron work better than you might think. Like Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face two years later, Caron's warm, airy persona helps to transcend their age differences. The Technicolor glows here, especially in Caron's two witty dream ballets and the gorgeous 50's gowns, tutus, and suits for Astaire and Clark. Mercer's songs are lovely too. "Something's Gotta Give" was nominated for an Oscar and has since become a jazz standard.

The Numbers: We open with Jervis showing off his drumming skills to an annoyed Griggs in the instrumental drum-and-dance routine "History of the Beat." Julie teaches the orphans that "C-A-T Spells Cat" as Jervis watches them in delight at the orphanage. She wanders around the outdoor classroom in shock and delight as an offscreen chorus sings about her "Daddy Long Legs" after she's told she'll be going to college in the US. "Welcome Egghead" the other college girls tease when Julie arrives. "Julie's Dream Ballet" is the first of two instrumental ballets. Julie imagines what her "Daddy Long Legs" looks like. Jervis dances as a Texas millionaire doing a square dance, a sensual playboy after all the ladies, or Julie's guardian angel. 

"The Sluefoot" is the big chorus number at the dance, with Ray Anthony and His Orchestra and the Pied Pipers. Jervis and Julie turn the intimate dance into a delightful moment. Jervis brings her to New York, where he sings "Something's Gotta Give" at the penthouse he sets her up in, and they dance together. This is followed by the instrumental "Dancing Through Life" ballet as the two kick up their heels in all of the fashionable Manhattan clubs. Julie's dream of meeting her benefactor becomes a "Nightmare Ballet" as she dreams of dancing for Jervis in a Paris ballet, encountering him in a smoky cafe in Hong Kong, and chasing him through carnival in Rio. The movie ends with the brief "Dream" as Julie finally realizes who her benefactor is. 

Trivia: This would be the only movie Caron or Astaire made for 20th Century Fox.

If Astaire looks a little red-eyed and upset at a few junctures...well, see the death of his beloved wife mentioned above. They pushed back filming to give him more room to process his grief.

This is the third version of Daddy Long Legs 20th Century Fox made, and the fourth time the 1912 children's novel made it to the big screen. In addition to Curly Top, Mary Pickford did a silent version in 1919, while Janet Gaynor would appear in a non-musical sound remake in 1931. It would become a London stage musical, Love From Judy, in 1952. 

What I Don't Like: First of all, while the age difference doesn't bother me, some people may find 50-something Astaire dancing with 20-something Caron (and kissing her in the end, a rarity for Astaire's films) to be a tad creepy. Second, this movie, for all the lovely art direction and costumes, didn't really need the lavish Cinemascope. It's really an intimate four-person story at its core. We have the one chorus number in "Sluefoot." Most of the songs are duets, solos, or ballets. Clark and Ritter are the only ones besides Astaire and Caron who even remotely register. We barely see Caron's roommates, which is a shame because they're pretty funny when we do meet them, and Kelly Brown as Jimmy McBride barely registers as window dressing.

The Big Finale: The age difference aside, this is a must-see if you're a fan of Astaire, Caron, or the big lavish ballet-filled musicals of the 1950's. 

Home Media: The DVD and Blu-Ray are hard-to-find and often pricey at this writing. Your best bet would be streaming. 

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Tin Pan Alley

20th Century Fox, 1940

Starring Alice Faye, Betty Grable, John Payne, and Jack Oakie

Directed by Walter Lang

Music and Lyrics by various

Tin Pan Alley marks a turning point for 20th Century Fox musicals. They'd been doing the same Busby Berkeley imitations as the rest of Hollywood since 1933, but the wild success of Alexander's Ragtime Band set the tone for their musicals through the mid-50's. It also made Faye one of their biggest stars. Here, she's joined by Grable, who had been banging around Hollywood for a decade at that point, comedian Jack Oakie, and relative newcomer John Payne for another "through the years" tale. This one revolves around the famous lane in New York where songwriters had their offices from the turn of the 20th century until well into the 60's. Does the story of two Tin Pan Alley songwriters who fall for a vaudeville sister act still go over today, or should it be given the hook? Let's begin, not on Tin Pan Alley, but in the boxing ring, where Francis "Skeets" Harrigan (Payne) is finishing a match, and find out...

The Story: Harrigan only boxes to pick up extra cash. He and his friend Harry Calhoun (Oakie) are songwriters with ambitions of setting up their own publishing house. They're very impressed with vaudeville sister act Katie (Faye) and Lily (Grable) Blane. Neither woman is especially impressed with them. Dancer Lily auditions for a series of increasingly bigger and more amorous producers, but Harrigan convinces singer Katie to stay with them after they turn a lovelorn songwriter's (Elisha Cook Jr.) little melancholy tune into a huge hit. 

Harrigan and Calhoun do get their publishing empire, thanks to Katie being able to plug their songs. She's impressed with the big patriotic number "America, I Love You" and is furious when Harrigan reluctantly lets star Nora Bayes (Esther Ralston) sing it instead. They talk her out of going to Chicago, but the "America" number is the last straw. She joins Lily in England, where they're a hit on the West End. Having lost their empire and their ability to sniff out a hit song, Harrigan and Calhoun join the Army when America enters World War I. Harrigan thinks he has no chance with Katie when he sees she now has a fiancee, Captain Reggie Carstair (John Loder), but Lily knows which man her sister really wants.

The Song and Dance: It's a shame Grable and Faye would never star together again. They're warm, funny, and believable as sisters. They even kind of look alike. I actually wish they got to spend even more time together. Payne is even better as the less-goofy half of the songwriting team. He's one of the few men in these Fox musicals who can hold up his end of the musical chores, and in fact may be the best thing about this. He and Faye have a warm rapport that makes it all the more heartbreaking when she takes off for London. 

The Numbers: Oakie gives us our first song, writing and dancing to "Dixie" as Harrigan plays. The Blane Sisters' first song is their attractive hula and tap routine to "In the Land of Sweet Aloha." It's enough to convince Harrigan and Calhoun that they are the ladies to put over their songs. Joe Cobb's (Cook) funeral instrumental waltz turns into the sole new song, the now-standard "You Say the Sweetest Things, Baby." We get a (thankfully) brief shot of a minstrel group in burnt cork makeup performing it, then a stripper on a moon, then two tap dancers doing a soft shoe, then Katie with the chorus boys. Katie's not happy when Harrigan insists she sing "On Moonlight Bay" at a nightclub to one-up a rival publishing house. They were supposed to be out together. 

Grable has more fun showing off her famous legs with the chorus to the tune of "Honeysuckle Rose." Katie and Harrigan start off singing "America, I Love You" together, but everyone on Tin Pan Alley (including the Roberts Brothers and the Brian Sisters) end up joining in. Despite how energetically Calhoun puts it over, Harrigan still rejects Cobb's "Good-Bye Broadway, Hello France." Rotund Billy Gilbert is "The Sheik of Araby," in a huge chorus number with the Blanes and girls in harem costumes that were so brief, they ended up having to reshoot it. The Nicholas Brothers have a fabulous dance routine right in the middle of it. The movie ends with the doughboys arriving home as Calhoun finally figures out the lyrics to the song he'd been struggling with throughout the film, "K-K-K-Katy." 

Trivia: Several songs were cut from this movie, including Grable's "When You Were a Tulip and I Wore a Big Red Rose" and "Get Out and Get Under" for Grable, Faye, and Oakie, were cut from the film. Both sequences survive; "Get Out and Get Under" can be found on the 1994 video release. 

What I Don't Like: "Sheik of Araby" aside, this is actually pretty small-scale for a big 40's musical. It's even in black and white. Despite how well she works with her friend Faye, Grable's part almost feels like an afterthought. She's barely in a good chunk of the movie. Most of it revolves around Harrigan trying to push his songs and Katie either getting tired of it or resigning herself to it, both of which get pretty annoying after a while. You wish we could see more of the sister act and what made them such a hit together and less of Harrigan and Katie chasing each other. 

The Big Finale: There's enough that's good here to recommend for fans of the four leads or the smaller-scale musicals of the 30's and 40's. 

Home Media: Alas, the only place you can find this at press time is YouTube, in a blurry copy that seems to have been recorded off of AMC sometime in the late 90's.

YouTube

Happy St. Patrick's Day! - Song O' My Heart

Fox Film Corporation, 1930

Starring John McCormack, Maureen O'Sullivan, Alice Joyce, and John Garrick

Directed by Victor Borzage

Music and Lyrics by various

Top O' the evenin' lads an' lasses! This year, we go way far back and celebrate St. Patrick's Day with one of the great Irish tenors of the early 20th century. John McCormack was known for being the quintessential Irish singer, with his beefy appearance, ringing tones, and frequently sentimental choice of material. His popularity had dropped off somewhat by 1930, but he was still well-known enough for Fox to offer him his choice of material and pay him the princely sum of $200,000 to star in the film. Is this operetta drama worthy of McCormack's artistry, or should it be left at home? Let's start with two frequent gossips at the Irish village where Sean O'Conlon (McCormack), lives, Peter (J.M Kerrigan) and Rafferty (J. Farrell MacDonald) and find out...

The Story: Sean has retired to the village despite his promising career to be near his beloved Mary (Joyce), and her two children, teenager Eileen (O'Sullivan) and young son Tad (Tommy Clifford). He had once loved Mary, but her sour Aunt Elizabeth (Emily Fitzroy) convinced her to marry for money. Her husband abandoned them and left them high and dry, forcing them to move back in with strict Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth doesn't approve of Fergus (Garrick), the handsome young man whom Eileen is in love with. Fergus is poor, and leaves the US to make money to support her. To help Mary and her children, producer Fullerton (Edward Martindel) convinces Sean to go on a concert tour in America. The tour is a great success, until tragedy forces Sean to return to the country and people he's always loved the most.

The Song and Dance: I do give this some credit for being one of the better-shot and more unique films of its era. McCormack's presence assures that there are no huge, out-of-place chorus numbers or goofy backstage drama. It was partially filmed in the real Ireland for Fox's experimental widescreen "Grandeur" format, and that shows in the decent cinematography for the early talkies era. The cast is pretty accurate, too. O'Sullivan kicked off a six-decade career with her winsome performance here. Kerrigan and MacDonald have a high time as two village men whose comments bookend the action. It almost feels like an early preview of The Quiet Man in black and white, with a lot of the same attention to detail that marked John Ford's later magnum opus.

The Numbers: Our first number is "Then You'll Remember Me," which Sean performs at his home with his usual accompanist Vincent (his real-life long-time pianist Edwin Schinder). The children of the village beg him for a fairy tale about a princess or a leprechaun, which turns into "A Fairy Story By the Fire." Sean performs "Just for Today" accompanied by the organ at the village church as Mary wistfully listens outside its walls. He delights his friends in the town with the traditional comic number "Kitty My Love, Will You Marry Me?" at his home and sings "The Rose of Tralee" for Mary after the party. She hears him sing it again in her mind after he leaves just before her death.

Sean's first number in the big concert sequence is "Plasir d'Amour." "Little Boy Blue" is accompanied by heartbreaking images of stuffed animals and toy soldiers covered in cobwebs waiting for their young owner to play with them again. This is followed by "Ireland, Mother Ireland." After Fullerton gets the word of Mary's death, he keeps it from Sean until he's sung "I Hear You Calling Me." The film ends with Sean singing "I Feel You Near Me" for his new family, Tad and kindly neighbor Mona (Effie Ellsler). 

Trivia: As mentioned, this was filmed in regular 35 millimeter film and Fox's experimental 70 millimeter "Grandeur" film. Most movie theaters at the time weren't set up for widescreen film, and the Grandeur version was never seen and is currently lost. 

First film for Maureen O'Sullivan and last film for Alice Joyce.

What I Don't Like: First of all, there's McCormack himself. He's a genial presence, but he's no actor and is in over his head with some of the more melodramatic sequences. There's also the fact that the Irish stereotypes are even more thick on the ground here than they are in Quiet Man, without that film's stunning color or often hilarious script. There's also the simple fact that this is straight melodrama only a step above some of the weepy Al Jolson sob stories from the late 20's and early 30's. It's not for people looking for something more upbeat, or those who aren't opera or McCormack fans. This is pretty much a concert with an Irish soap opera surrounding it.

The Big Finale: Mainly for fans of McCormack or the more melodramatic films of the early talkie era.

Home Media: Thanks to it now being in the public domain, it can be easily found on streaming for free with commercials.

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Animation Celebration Saturday - Once Upon a Forest

20th Century Fox, 1993

Voices of Michael Crawford, Ellen Blain, Benji Gregory, and Paige Gosney

Directed by Charles Grosvenor

Music by James Horner; Lyrics by Will Jennings and others

Concern for the environment was so prevalent during the early 90's that it even seeped into animation. Having had mild success with Ferngully: The Last Rainforest the year before, Fox returned to the well with an even more emotional story about taking care of our earth. It wasn't a hit at the time, but is it worth checking out 30 years later? Let's begin with dawn at a lovely meadow called Dapplewood, as the animal residents are starting to awaken, and find out...

The Story: Cornelius the badger (Crawford) mentors four little "Furlings," Abigail the energetic mouse (Blain), Edgar the sweet and shy mole (Gregory), Russell the always-hungry hedgehog (Gosney), and his sweet little niece Michelle (Elizabeth Moss). One day, poison gas from a ruptured truck leaks into the forest. The children are with Cornelius and are unharmed, but Michelle loses her parents and inhales the gas. Cornelius sends Abigail, Edgar, and Russell to retrieve Lung-wort and Eye-bright, the only herbs that can save the little badger. The trio learn to work together to avoid a barn owl, cross a construction site, help a wren (Rickey D'Shon Collins) get unstuck from the mud, and retrieve the lung-wort from a cliff, and discover their own hidden talents in the process.

The Animation: Extremely Disney-esque and very typical of this time period and of Hanna-Barbara. The woods are beautiful, with their sun-dappled forests and blooming plants...but then you get the ultra-realistic construction site and the devastation wrought by the poison gas. The animals look like a cross between The Secret of Nimh and some of the cutesier Hanna-Barbara TV shows of the 1980s like The Biskitts or Shirt Tales. They're designed to be adorable, especially little Michelle, but they can get some darker expressions out of them - check out when they realize Michelle is sick.

The Song and Dance: I do give Hanna Barbera some kudos for daring to go this dark. Even Ferngully: The Last Rainforest didn't kill off characters or completely destroy the forest. This is darker than some Disney movies of the 90's. Crawford makes an appropriately gruff mentor, and Ben Vereen does get into his big number with the birds and the Furlings after they rescue the wren from the mud. 

The Numbers: Our first number isn't until 15 minutes in, but it's the devastating "Please Wake Up," sung by Cornelius to the comatose Michelle after she's gassed. Even Crawford had a hard time performing this emotional ballad of love and loss. "He's Gone" is the birds' number when they think they're losing the wren to the mud. They change this to the joyous "He's Back" after the kids get him out. Florence Warner Jones performs the gentle "Once Upon a Time With Me" over the closing credits.

Trivia: This would be the last Hanna-Barbera movie released to theaters.

What I Don't Like: See that "dark" thing above. Um, what audience did Hanna-Barbera intend this for again? The cutesy kid animal characters and bucolic setting indicate a children's movie, but the poison gas, construction site, and bird stuck in the mud mourned by his family at a funeral are more likely to give them nightmares, or at least upset them quite a bit. No wonder it was a massive flop in 1993. Some audiences today might not know what to make of this, let alone then. The sequence with the birds and the wren is totally out of left field and feels like it was dropped in from another movie entirely to give Vereen something to do. 

The Big Finale: That said, there are quite a few people who saw this on video in the 90's and found it profoundly moving. Frankly, while it can be moving, the clash of tones and utterly depressing plot was a bit too much for me. Your mileage may vary on whether your elementary school kids are up to this one; might actually be better for tweens if you can get them past the cute animals.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

New Faces

20th Century Fox, 1954

Starring Eartha Kitt, Ronny Graham, Alice Ghostley, and Robert Clary

Directed by Harry Horner, John Beal, and Eugene Anderson Jr.

Music and Lyrics by various

Revues saw a revival on film and stage in the 40's, when they entertained the troops going overseas. Though they continued on Broadway for a few years after the war ended, they ended up being superseded by that upstart rival, television. Variety shows were among the most popular genres on TV in the 1950's, casting the same wide net over show business that revues once did. Why go see a theater show when you could watch the same type of acts on Ed Sullivan or Milton Berle - and even more - for free? There were a few revues on Broadway in the early 50's that did manage to do relatively well, this among them. Leonard Stillman had been putting out New Faces revues since the 1930's, always on the cheap. He struck gold with the 1954 edition, rounding up a genuinely talented cast and some great material. It was so well-received, it was adapted as a film two years later, one of Fox's earliest ventures into Cinemascope. How well did they pull this off? Let's begin backstage at the New Faces show and find out...

The Story: Wealthy Texan Mr. Clayton (Charles Watts) insists that he'll back the show if he's impressed with the talent and numbers involved...and with his daughter Virginia's (Virginia de Luce) performance. Virginia is not only frustrated that her big number keeps getting cut off, but she's fallen in love with one of the dancers. Meanwhile, diminutive Frenchman Robert Clary (himself) locks a bill collector in a dressing room before he can collect or stop the show.

The Song and Dance: And yeah, this one is all about the song and dance. There's admittedly some impressive talents here. Eartha Kitt became a recording superstar, Ghostley, Clary, Graham, and Paul Lynde were TV sitcom stalwarts, and June Carroll and Carol Lawrence were among the most popular leading ladies on Broadway in the 50's and 60's. Some of the more memorable non-musical sketches include a spoof of dark stage melodramas of the 50's featuring Lynde as the criminal father, Ghostley as his wife, and Graham as the son who'd rather play baseball than follow in his father's footsteps and Graham in a fairly amusing takeoff on Truman Capote and the southern Gothic stories he specialized in.

The Numbers: We open and close with "We're the New Faces," with said new faces stuck into a black set as they sing about why they love what they do and what we're going to see. Kitt gets the first actual number, "C'est Bon," a sultry French ditty. Virginia deLuce keeps trying to sing "He Takes Me Off His Income Tax," but never actually gets through the song before the next act is announced. Clary is "Lucky Pierre" when he's joined by the female dancers (including Carol Lawrence and Patricia Hammerlee) for a typical girls-and-guy routine. Weary woman of the world June Carroll sings wistfully about "Penny Candy" as she sees the ghosts of her childhood and recalls how others made fun of her desire to be an actress.

Alice Ghostley is a plain woman whose "Boston Beguine" may be the closest thing she gets to exotic excitement. Robert Cary is joined by Eartha Kitt and Rosemary O'Reilly to show why "Love Is a Simple Thing." Mother and daughter June Carroll and Alice Ghostley say it's "Time for Tea" as they recall how the daughter almost fell in love...but her parents drove her suitor off, and she never married. Clary's joined by Lawrence and the chorus girls again, this time offstage, to perform the traditional French song "Alouette." Eartha Kitt introduces the show's big standard, the seductive "Santa Baby," as a woman who wants a lot more than candy and an orange in her stocking for Christmas.

Graham, Ghostley, and the chorus spoof operetta waltzes as they describe the delights of damp "Waltzing In Venice," then "Taking Off the Mask." For Robert Clary, everything is "Raining Memories." Kitt is a Turkish woman singing about "Uska Dara." Robert Clary is a school boy who claims "I'm In Love With Miss Logan," but gets quite disappointed when he realizes Miss Logan has someone else. The chorus gets the world's only hoedown dedicated to the trial of that infamous murderess "Lizzie Borden." Kitt and Clary go back into French mode with "Bal, petit bal." Kitt finishes things off with "Monotonous,"as a star who is bored with her life of fame.

Trivia: Film debuts of Paul Lynde, Alice Ghostley, and Carol Lawrence.

What I Don't Like: For all the wonderful numbers and performances, this doesn't really belong on film. It's a filmed play and doesn't pretend to be anything else. This intimate revue didn't need the widescreen and made no use of it whatsoever. There's a lot that hasn't dated well, too, notably Lynde's rather annoying safari sketch and Graham's Truman Capote takeoff. (No matter how funny Graham is in that segment, a lot of people aren't that familiar with Capote's work nowadays.) The story is piffle and adds absolutely nothing to the numbers or the movie.

The Big Finale: Even with the above caveats, this is still worth seeing for the performances and songs alone if you're a fan of any of the above stars or of 50's musicals and revues. 

Home Media: In the public domain, so it's pretty easily found anywhere. Tubi currently has it for free (though in a rather blurry copy).

DVD

Tubi

Wild On the Beach

20th Century Fox, 1965

Starring Frankie Randall, Sherry Jackson, Gayle Caldwell, and Jackie Miller

Directed by Maury Dexter

Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we're gonna hit the beach with two lesser-known imitations of the wildly popular Beach Party films, starting with 20th Century Fox's third and last contribution to the genre. By 1965, the wave of Beach Party imitations was starting to crest, with small, silly imitations like this one flooding the market. How does the story of how two groups of college students spend their summer arguing over the last house left in their area look now? Lets begin with shots of waves and surfers and college students doing the Watusi at once certain beach house and find out...

The Story: Lee Sullivan (Jackson) inherited the beach house from her late uncle and intends to turn it into a boarding house for girls. She and her two friends Marsie (Caldwell) and Toby Carr (Jackie Miller) turn up at the house, only to find that party in progress. Turns out the house is already occupied by Adam Miller (Randall) and his buddies sound-obsessed Vern Thompkins (Jerry Grayson) and Jim Bench (Marc Seton). The boys apparently got permission to stay from Lee's uncle before his death. 

Adam puts in a permit on the house, but Dean Parker (Booth Coleman) is wary of all of they living together and has local housing inspector Mr. Terwilliger (Justin Smith) check them out. There's also music producer and former singer Shep Kirby (Russ Bender) who initially puts out the complaints against them, due to Vern's sound effects being turned up way too high and the partying. Now Lee and Adam have to figure out what's going on here and how to keep everyone from being found out, before they're all expelled and ended up expelled.

The Song and Dance: It's some unique details that make this even tolerable to watch. Vern's sound effects prove to be very useful, both in keeping the boys and girls from wandering over "The Iron Curtain" (a rope set out to keep the boys and girls from trying anything fresh. There's also Kirby and his own obsession with technology and finding the right group to showcase. And yes, Sonny and Cher are in this movie, singing one song. Their "I Got You Babe" was a huge hit when the movie was being filmed, and the producer must have thought they could bring the same kind of laid-back vibe to the film.

The Numbers: Adam sings "The House On the Beach" and "The God of Love," the latter while on a walk on the beach with Lee. The surf group The Astronauts get four numbers, "Rock This World" after the college students first arrive, and "Pyramid Stomp," "Snap It," and "Little Speedy Gonzalez" later on. Sonny and Cher have a cameo singing the sweet "It's Gonna Rain." Real-life pop singer Cindy Malone tries to test Shep's new recording equipment with "Run Away From Him," but Vern's sound effects keep intruding. Shep gets "Yellow Haired Woman" with the kids at a party at the house later. The girls record "Winter Nocturne" for Shep. Drummer Sandy Nelson has a dynamic "Drum Dance."

What I Don't Like: Pretty obvious low-budget B-tuner from this era. The Astronauts and Sonny and Cher are the only things that stand out in any way. The use of Vern's sound effects are mildly amusing, and I do give them credit for a slightly creative plot that deals with housing shortages during an era when college was becoming more important, but this is mostly as cheap as it looks. It's not even in color. The boys in particular other than Vern are interchangeable, and Randall comes off as more of a jerk for trying to throw the girls out than remotely romantic.

The Big Finale: Silly and dull, this is only for the most ardent Sonny and/or Cher enthusiasts.

Home Media: On DVD via the made-to-order 20th Century Fox Cinema Archives and on YouTube.

DVD

YouTube

Cult Flops - Glitter

Columbia/20th Century Fox, 2001

Starring Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Terrance Howard, and Eric Benet

Directed by Vondie Curtis-Hall

Music and Lyrics by Mariah Carey and others

This week, we dive into the recent past with two vehicles for major pop and R&B stars that are among the most reviled films of the early 21st century. By 1997, Mariah Carey was one of the most beloved singers on the planet. Most of her albums had gone platinum, her singles were among the most recognizable of the 90's, and she even had one of the biggest Christmas songs of the late 20th century in "All I Want for Christmas Is You." 

By 1997, Carey and her handlers felt she was ready for Hollywood. She wrote the songs for the movie before the project even got a green light. It didn't really get moving until 2000...and then proceeded to have so many problems with filming and editing, Carey had a mental breakdown. It's release was ultimately moved to 2001, two weeks after the attacks on September 11th, which didn't exactly help its chances. Across-the-board awful reviews did the rest. Is the movie really that bad, or does this diva deserve a chance at redemption? Let's begin with young Billie Frank (Isobel Gomes) and her mother Lilllian (Valarie Pettiford) as she calls her onstage to sing with her in a dive bar in the 70's and find out...

The Story: In 1983, years after being put in a foster care home, she and her best friends Louise (Da Brat) and Roxanne (Tia Texada) are spotted dancing in a local club by DJ and producer Julian "Dice" Black (Beesley). He's incensed that she's allowed her voice to be used by another singer. She just thinks it's work. He wants to be her producer, but she already has a contract with big-time producer Timothy Walker (Howard). She finally gets Timothy to let her go if Dice pays him $100,000.

Dice does sign her up with a major label, and they have a huge hit in the song "Loverboy," but their relationship is starting to unravel. He insists on controlling her image, and even throws out her two best friends when they get fed up with him. Billie learns he never paid Timothy that $100,000 either when he turns up and threatens her. She's had enough and walks out...but they can't forget each other. They even end up writing the same song. Alas, he's killed by Timothy before he can reconcile with her, leaving her reminding everyone at her concert that we should never take those we love for granted.

The Song and Dance: Honestly, Carey wasn't really that bad. At the least, knowing she was going through a divorce, a mental breakdown, and discovering she's bipolar at the time this was being filmed does explain a lot about her performance. Howard is the only other cast member who makes even a remote impression as the slick producer who never really let Billie - or her voice - go. There's some pretty spectacular costumes for Billie too, no matter how much Dice derides many of them as inappropriate.

The Numbers: We open with young Billie joining her mother in that dive bar for "Lillie's Blues." "Twister" introduces us to adult Billie and is the song they initially sing for Timothy as back-up singers. "If We" and "All My Life" take us to the nightclub where Billie meets Dice, with Sylk (Padma Lakshimi) seemingly performing the latter. Billie does a version of "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" for Dice, but her confetti-strewn video for "Loverboy" proves far more difficult. She wants to "Lead the Way" with her career at a big music awards show. Rafael (Benet) who is also interested in Billie, performs "We Could Have Been" for her. "Want You" is the song Billie writes with Rafael. "Never Too Far" is Dice and Billie's songs written at the same time with the same music and lyrics. She tries to reprise "Loverboy" at a concert, but breaks down and sings "Never Too Far" instead.

What I Don't Like: Hoooo boy. No wonder this became one of the most notorious flops of the early 2000's. Carey and Billie both deserved far better than this. No matter what the movie wants us to believe, Dice is a major jerk who tries to control not only Billie's career, but Billie herself. He treats her badly, even making a shady deal behind her back. Her dumping him near the end feels somewhat realistic and justified....but then she wants him back, to the point where they somehow manage to write identical songs? That's hard to swallow, even for a musical. The lighting is dreadful, with too many scenes lost in darkness, and the off-and-on editing is worse. None of the songs are remotely close to Carey's best (and weren't hits in real life). I honestly had no idea it was set in 1983, either. The costumes, the sets...they're all pure early 2000's. The music, even the 80's music, doesn't really sound like that era, either. 

The Big Finale: Though this has apparently begun to pick up a slightly better reputation of late, frankly, some mildly decent performances aren't enough to save this off-the-rails vanity project. Even the most devoted fans of Carey will want to stick to the soundtrack and avoid this mess.

Home Media: It was such a flop, it's not even easy to find today. The DVD is way out of print,  the Blu-Ray is available but not much cheaper, and it's not currently streaming. The only place you can currently find it online is in illegal streams on YouTube.

DVD

Blu-Ray

YouTube

Walk the Line

20th Century Fox, 2005

Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Reece Witherspoon, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Robert Patrick

Directed by James Mangold

Music and Lyrics by Johnny Cash and others

Having explored classic rock legends last month, this week, we're going to dive into the country scene with three of the most beloved performers in country music. This one goes back to Cash and Carter appearing on the TV show Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman in 1993. Enamored with film, Cash wanted to get his life story onscreen. Even after a series of interviews in 1997, it wasn't until 2001 when they had a script ready and were able to sell it to Fox. It was a huge hit in 2005, but how does it look now, after many similar music biographies have come and gone? Let's start with Cash (Phoenix) and his legendary concert at Folsom State Prison and find out...

The Story: Johnny grows up in rural Arkansas with his mother Carrie (Shelby Lynne), his abusive father Ray (Patrick), and his sisters and his brother Jack (Lucas Till). After Jack dies in a saw mill accident while Johnny goes fishing, Ray blames his youngest son for his death. Tired of the abuse, Johnny enlists in the Air Force in 1950. He's not much of a pilot, but he does write the song "Folsom Prison Blues" while in West Germany. 

After he gets back to the US, he marries his girlfriend Vivian (Goodwin) and gets a job as a door to door salesman after they move to Memphis, Tennessee. He proves to be far more successful when he forms a gospel band, the Tennessee Two, and auditions for Sun Records. They take him after he plays "Folsom Prison Blues." The song is such a success, they send the Two out on tour with legends like Elvis Prestley (Tyler Hilton) and Jerry Lee Lewis (Waylon Payne), giving Johnny his first taste of celebrity.

It also introduces him to June Carter (Witherspoon), a pretty, perky fellow country singer touring with her family. He falls for her right away, but she's a lot warier of him. He starts heavily abusing drugs and alcohol, and Vivian is all too aware of why Johnny keeps insisting on touring with June. He even ends up in prison for six months after a trip to Mexico to pick up more drugs. Vivian's had enough and divorces him, and even June's fed up. Johnny buys a home in Tennessee to be near June, but she's not sure she's ready to put on that "Ring of Fire." Even after Johnny records his famous Folsom Prison album, she keeps turning him down...until he tells her onstage that he can't make music without her.

The Song and Dance: Exemplary performances highlight this tale of rise and redemption through one of the greatest romances in country music. Phoenix and Witherspoon put in pitch-perfect performances as the troubled "Man In Black" and the smart lady who loves him and his music, especially when showing his dark side and drug addiction. That they did their own singing - and very well - adds layers to the authenticity. Patrick is the only one who gets near them as Cash's disapproving father, who never forgave Johnny for the loss of his favored son. Pitch-perfect costumes and sets and James Mangold's dynamic direction beautifully depict the rural Southeast and Nashville in the 50's and 60's. 

The Numbers: Our first song is appropriately, Johnny's first song. He first conceives "Folsom Prison Blues" while stationed in West Germany. It's not until that audition for Sun records that we hear the full version. He's attracted to Sun Records after hearing a band play "Don't Leave Me This Way." Jerry Lee Lewis (Waylon Payne) shows off his piano dexterity with his "Lewis Boogie" at the tour concert. June fakes laryngitis so Johnny gets a chance to sing "Cry Cry Cry" and impress the audience. Johnny's thrilled when none other than Roy Orbison (Johnathan Rice) sings "You're My Baby."  June finally gets onstage with her perky "Jukebox Blues."

Johnny successfully gives the new rock sound a shot with "Rock n' Roll Ruby," which really gets all those girls in the audience moving...but even he can't compare to a young Elvis Prestley (Tyler Hilton) tearing up the stage with "That's All Right." After Johnny's "Home of the Blues," he insists that June join him for "Time's a Waistin'." June protests at first - she recorded it with her ex-husband - but they have so much fun together, soon, even she's into the charming song.  The title song provides the backdrop for a montage depicting Johnny's success, his feelings about June, and his buying a house for his family. 

June pours her own frustrations with Johnny and her failed relationships into the traditional folk song "Wildwood Flower" at their concert. She joins Johnny for the uptempo Bob Dylan ballad "It Ain't Me, Babe." Johnny's drug habits finally catch up with him when he passes out while performing "Folsom Prison Blues" at Las Vegas. Inspired by her problems with Johnny and their relationship, June writes the classic ballad "Ring of Fire." Realizing that many of his fans are prisoners, Johnny records his classic live album at the real Folsom Prison, dressed all in black and singing "Cocaine Blues." The movie ends with him singing her "Ring of Fire," and insisting that they perform "Jackson" together.

Trivia: Witherspoon won Best Actress at the Oscars. Phoenix was nominated for Best Actor and won a Golden Globe.

What I Don't Like: There's a reason this would later be parodied by Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. This is about as typical of a rise and fall biography as you can get, though the focus on Johnny and June's romance does give it an interesting wrinkle. Most of the other characters aren't around long enough for you to know them like the leads; Goodwin's role as Johnny's first wife, who wants him to focus on family above else, is slightly underwritten. 

The Big Finale: If you're a fan of classic country or rock music, Cash and/or Carter, or either of the stars, you owe it to yourself to check out this searing look at how "The Man In Black" met and got together with the true love of his life.

Home Media: Easily available on all formats. I reviewed the extended version, which has an extra 16 minutes of footage. 

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime - Extended Cut

Happy Mother's Day! - Young People

20th Century Fox, 1940

Starring Shirley Temple, Charlotte Greenwood, Jack Oakie, and George Montgomery

Directed by Allan Dwan

Music by Harry Warren; Lyrics by Mack Gordon

We celebrate Mother's Day and unconventional families with Shirley Temple's last movie as a child star. By this point, she was 12, and just starting to outgrow melodramatic stories like this one. When her previous fantasy movie The Blue Bird was a flop, Fox tossed her back into something closer to the movies she'd been making since 1935. Were they right to do this, or should this be shunned? Let's begin onstage with Joe (Oakie) and Kit (Greenwood) Ballantine as they receive a certain basket from a mysterious older woman (Mary Gordon) and find out...

The Story: The basket contains not birds, but the infant daughter of their dear friend Barney O'Hara. He was about to pass on and wanted his daughter to be well cared-for. Kit and Joe not only take little Wendy (Temple) in, they keep the New England farm O'Hara left them, too. 

When Wendy turns 12, they move to the farm in the hope of starting a new life away from the stage. Though they try to be friendly, most of the townspeople consider them to be too brash and loud and shun them. It doesn't help when they align with the town's newspaper editor Mike Shea (Montgomery) against snooty Hester Appleby (Kathleen Howard) and her pretty niece Judith (Arleen Whelan) on the idea of progress. After Wendy's simple class dance offends the parents, they're ready to leave town but are prevented by a hurricane. It takes an act of selflessness from the trio to prove to the town that there's nothing wrong with being different, and maybe progress isn't such a bad thing.

The Song and Dance: Though the focus is on Temple, Oakie and Greenwood are the ones who really steal the show as the seasoned troopers who want to give a better life to a child that has come to mean so much to them. Oakie in particular has some very funny moments when he's clashing with the townspeople in the second half. Temple also does her best onstage in numbers with her onscreen parents and the hilarious song and dance at the school that got the parents so upset. 

The Numbers: We open onstage at a vaudeville house, as faux southerners Kit and Joe sing about "The Mason-Dixon Line." We see Wendy grow up in sequences from two previous Temple films with Joe singing and Kit clowning, "On the Beach at Waikiki" from Curly Top and the title song of "Baby Take a Bow" with her in the infamous polka-dot dress. (The latter lets Greenwood parody Temple in her own short dress and babyish voice!) "Fifth Avenue" is the top hat-and-cane routine that introduces the 12-year-old Wendy. They sing it again later when getting ready to leave after being shunned.  

"I Wouldn't Take a Million," says Joe when he and his two favorite ladies are driving home from the town meeting. The children sing the gentle hymn "Flow Gently, Sweet Afton" at school, but it's too quiet for Joe and the young men. Wendy and the children, dressed as adults, insist that they're "Young People" and deserve to be treated more like grown-ups. Their assertiveness is shocking enough, but then they start tap dancing! Wendy reprises "I Wouldn't Take a Million" to explain how much she loves her parents, even if they aren't her birth parents. The film ends with the trio singing "Tra La La" to celebrate their staying at Stonefield.

What I Don't Like: On one hand, Oakie and Greenwood's genial presence (and the fact that no one tries to take Temple away from them) keeps this a bit lighter than some of her other melodramas. It still hits a lot of the cliches, though, from the well-meaning old grouches who don't know how to have fun to the superfluous young lovers who are there for Temple to play matchmaker. Neither Montgomery nor Whelan are terribly memorable in underwritten roles. The songs are also far from the best to appear in her movies. "I Wouldn't Take a Million" is sweet, but "Fifth Avenue" sounds like a parody of "Lullaby of Broadway," and "Tra La La" is a generic cheer-up ditty.

The Big Finale: Temple's final movie from her child star days isn't her best, but it's worth checking out with your kids this Mother's Day weekend if they or you are a fan of her films.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Animation Celebration Saturday - The Magic Pudding

20th Century Fox, 2000

Voices of John Cleese, Geoffrey Rush, Hugo Weaving, and Sam Neill

Directed by Karl Zwicky

Music and Lyrics by various

Let's head down under this weekend and learn about a movie I only just heard of this week. Apparently, this is based on a beloved Australian children's book from 1918. The author's family resisted international adaptions, holding out for an Australian company. They finally sold it to Energee Entertainment, which was then a leading independent Australian animation studio. How does this uniquely Aussie story look on this side of the pond? Let's begin with ship captain Bill Barnacle (Weaving) and his crew as they navigate a storm in the Arctic and find out...

The Story: Barnacle and his crew mates Sam Sawnoff the penguin (Neill) and Buncle the wombat (Jack Thompson) are stranded in the Arctic after their shop breaks up there. Buncle's desperate cry for food makes the Magic Pudding (Cleese) appear from the sky. His name is Albert, and despite being rather rude, he can also last forever. Buncle tries to steal it, but he falls off the ice and is believed to be lost. Sam and Bill decide to become Albert's protectors. 

Ten years later, Bunyip Bluegum the koala (Rush) sets off in search of his missing parents. He runs across Bill and Sam after stopping two thieves from stealing Albert. Bunyip encounters a frightened bandicoot who says that a frog on a log is the only creature who isn't too frightened to tell him where his parents are. He and his new friends follow Albert to figure out the frog's clues. 

As it turns out, Barnacle is alive...and he's not only still hungry, he's forcing other animals to bring him food. His nephew Watkin (Greg Carroll) and Patrick O'Possum (Dave Gibson) have been sent to steal the pudding, but Albert keeps eluding them. They get so desperate, they open a dam over the very town where Bunyip, Albert, and the other two are heading. It takes saving the town for the residents to finally bring Albert and the pudding protectors to Barnacle's lair and rescue not only Bunyip's parents, but a whole host of slaves as well.

The Animation: Much better than I expected from an independent Australian animated feature. Some of the backdrops are downright gorgeous, particularly where the frog on a log is and in the town. Everything moves really well, and as far as I can tell, they look like the characters in the book, especially Bunyip and Sam.

The Song and Dance: I give them credit for a great voice cast, too. Rush is an adorable Bunyip, while Cleese is hilarious as the occasionally nasty pudding and Weaving and Neill are hilarious as the remaining pudding protectors. That animation really is lovely - see the number where Bunyip imagines his mother (Toni Collette) singing to him. Thompson makes a terrific villain, too, and even the thieves get some occasionally funny gags. 

The Numbers: Our first number isn't until 10 minutes in, but it comes from Rush. Bunyip begins his journey by proclaiming "It's a Wonderful Day." Weaving, Cleese, and Neill introduce him to "Albert, the Magic Pudding" after he runs across them. "The Puddin' Owners' Song" is their number after they bring Bunyip in on their fellowship. "My Heart Beats" is the ballad Bunyip imagines his mother Meg singing at the frog pond. "It's Worse Than Weevils," say the pudding owners to the thieves. They all band together to "Save the Town" and use the pudding to fill bags and keep the waters from rising. "In the Underground Tonight" is the other big chorus number as Thompson and his mooks celebrate capturing Albert.

What I Don't Like: First of all, research online indicates that this doesn't have a whole lot to do with the book. It wasn't indicated how Bill and Sam came across the Magic Pudding. They just have it when Bunyip first encounters them. Bunyip did leave his uncle, but it wasn't to find his parents. The book ends with a basset hound helping them defend Albert in court against the thieves. There was no Buncle, mooks, or flooded town. 

Second, this is a pretty strange story. It feels like they threw the original book in with bits and pieces of other animated films of the late 90's-early 2000's. Colette's ballad is too modern and out of place with the songs that have lyrics taken directly from the book. 

The Big Finale: The lovely animation and great voice cast alone makes this worth checking out at least once for elementary school-age kids and their parents.

Home Media: Not on disc in North America, but it can be found for free with commercials on streaming.

The Roku Channel

Amazon Prime

Pluto TV On Demand

The Three Musketeers (1939)

20th Century Fox, 1939

Starring Don Ameche, The Ritz Brothers, Binnie Barnes, and Pauline Moore

Directed by Allan Dwan

Music by Samuel Pokrass; Lyrics by Walter Bullock

The Marx Brothers were far from the only comic brother group who were popular in the 30's and early 40's. The Ritz Brothers started out on the stage in 1925. By 1934, they were Broadway headliners who did short subjects for Educational Pictures. 20th Century Fox was so impressed, they hired them as the comic relief in big musicals like On the Avenue. The Three Musketeers would prove to be their biggest hit with their names above the title. How does this wacky spoof of swashbucklers look now? Let's begin with D'Aragnan (Ameche) as he arrives in Paris and find out...

The Story: D'Arangan is looking for the fabled three Musketeers. Alas, they got drunk, and what he finds is three cooks (Ritz Brothers) in their outfits. He needs all the help he can get. Queen Anne (Gloria Stuart) and her lady-in-waiting Constance (Moore) find him dueling with the Duke of Buckingham (Lester Matthews) at the inn where he and the cooks conned their way into rooms. The Queen is having an affair with the Duke and has given him a jeweled broach to remember her by. 

Cardinal Richelieu (Miles Mander) orders Lady De Winter (Barnes) and his head man De Rochefort (Lionel Atwill) to steal the broach and bring it to King Louis (Joseph Schildkraut). DeWinter does manage to waylay D'Arganan...but she doesn't account for his loyal, if none-too-bright, friends. It's all for one, and one for lunacy as the four non-Musketeers prove themselves worthy of the name to make sure the broach gets to the Queen before the King figures out what's going on!

The Song and Dance: Darn good cast for a spoof. Ameche made such a wonderful D'Arangan, I wish he'd done more swashbucklers. Moore was a lovely Constance, Barnes was a charming Milady the few times we see her, and Atwill and Mander didn't do badly as the scheming villains. The Ritz Brothers' broad slapstick may be an acquired taste, but I thought their gags came off a lot better here than in the bigger-budget musicals On the Avenue and One In a Million. I'm also impressed with how relatively well they stuck to the first half of the book for a spoof, despite the complicated story being greatly condensed. 

The Numbers: We open with D'Aragnan on his horse, riding to Paris and singing "Warla Warla (Say Paree)" as he greets other travelers on the road. He reprises the number while preparing to meet Constance again about mid-way through the film. The cooks show how they make their "Chicken Soup" in the tavern kitchen right before the real Musketeers turn up drunk. D'Arganan and the cooks sing "Voila" after they've taken on the Cardinal's guards at the tavern. The young Musketeer hopeful woos Constance with "My Lady" in the boarding house courtyard. 

What I Don't Like: As I mentioned, the Ritz Brothers are an acquired taste at best for most audiences nowadays. Though they were popular onstage through the 50's, they never did gel with movies the way the Marxes did. The trio don't have enough personality to offset their broad and often juvenile slapstick shenanigans. They admittedly come off better here than they did playing second fiddle to Fox blondes, but their brand of goofiness doesn't work well with the otherwise straight action story. In fact, there's so much focus on them, we don't see enough of characters like Lady DeWinter who are a lot more important to the action. The songs are no great shakes, either, and in fact often slow down the pace. 

The Big Finale: I got a kick out of this, but your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for the Ritzes and/or their brand of slapstick lunacy. 

Home Media: DVD only from the 20th Century Fox Cinema Classics Collection.

DVD

Musicals On Streaming - O'Dessa

20th Century Fox/Searchlight Pictures/Hulu, 2025

Starring Sadie Sink, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Regina Hall, and Murray Bartlett

Directed by Geremy Jasper

Music by Geremy Jasper; Lyrics by Jason Binnick

Snow White isn't the only musical with a strong female protagonist the Disney Company released in the past week. This gender-flipped rock opera retelling of "Orpheus and Eurydice" set in a post-apocalyptic world got reviews that were nearly as bad, but is it really that horrible, or is it just different? Let's turn on the TV for a green scroll that tells us how this world came under the control of a mesmerizing man named Plutonovich (Bartlett) and the Seventh Son who will come from the mountains with their guitar and take him down and find out...

The Story: That "Seventh Son" is O'Dessa (Sink), the daughter of a wandering musician who left her nothing but a prized family guitar on his death. After the death of her mother, O'Dessa cuts her hair, wears man's clothes, and takes up in her father's footsteps as a traveling musician. She doesn't get far before a gang steals the guitar out from under her. Following them brings her to Satelyite City, one of the last outposts of civilization. Desperate to get the guitar back from a pawn shop, she joins a talent contest at a local bar. The only person who appreciates her bluesy style is Euri Dervish (Harrison), a nightclub singer she rescues from an overly-amorous patron. They spend the night together under the boardwalk and fall deeply in love. 

Euri tells her about Plutonovich, who uses all the plasma that's polluting the ground to power his addicting broadcasts, and inspires her to sing for pennies from the people. This does get her the guitar back, but not Euri. Turns out he has deals with Plutonovich's right-hand woman Neon Dion (Hall). After she kidnaps Euri during his wedding to O'Dessa, she follows them to Plutonovich's Onderworld lair to join his reality competition and prove once and for all the power of prophecy and true love.

The Song and Dance: The performances are the thing here. Sink does well by the tough, scrappy title character who truly believes Euri is her destiny, but the real stand-outs are the villains. Bartlett is so charismatic and bombastic as the dictator who uses the power of media to keep the people from rebelling, you can understand why they were all mesmerized. Hall does even better as the terrifying cross between Grace Jones and an especially angry pitbull, especially with those odd severe bangs. The grungy, junk-filled landscape outside of Satilyte City and the blue and neon world within it recall similar dystopia thrillers from the 80's like Streets of Fire and Blade Runner.

The Numbers: We open with the young O'Dessa performing "Under the Stars" for her mother. "Ramblin' Down the Road" shows the start of her journey after she leaves the dying farm. "Cursed Six Strings" is our first chorus number as she joins the group of thieves for a bite and a song. The rock-loving nightclub crowds fail to be moved by her "Ramblin' Blues." O'Dessa is proud to be "Feelin' Free" as she uses her makeshift guitar to sing for the people and earn money for the guitar and get closer to Euri in the second chorus number. Euri sings the darker "Johnny Fame," but is booed in the nightclub when he speaks out against Plutonovich. 

After she's attacked and Euri is hypnotized, they finally realize "Yer Tha One" and prepare to be wed with rings and tattoos. "Here Comes the Seventh Son" announces her intention to the world as she takes a neon boat to Plutonovich's lair. He's the commander of the "Onderworld" as we get our big chorus routines, complete with dancers in very skimpy costumes and a teen pop star in pink feathers wiggling behind him. When she finally gets onstage, O'Dessa pours her heart into "The Song (Love Is All)." She finally becomes that "Plasma Rose" who destroys Plutonovich and sends his lair ablaze. The girl she gave her hand-made guitar to carries on her legacy in the final reprise of "The Song." 

What I Don't Like: This isn't anything you haven't seen in movies set in similar hell scapes since the 1970's. It's basically a musical Hunger Games or Blade Runner. Like those movies, this is definitely style over substance. The story is weird, overly complicated, and ultimately kind of depressing, and the music isn't memorable enough to carry it. If you know anything about the original "Orpheus and Euridyce" myth, you're very aware that this isn't going to have a happy ending. It's also not for those looking for a more traditional or lighthearted romp. Like other movies in its genre, it gets into some very dark and rough territory that includes strong sci-fi violence, a few very brief sexual bits, scanty costumes, and heavy themes.

The Big Finale: This is not going to be for everyone, but if you're into other movies about dark futures or dystopian worlds, are a fan of rock or folk music, or just want to check out a darker take on a favorite myth, this is worth riding a neon boat for.

Home Media: Streaming only via Hulu and Disney Plus. 

Hulu

Disney Plus

Cult Flops - From Justin to Kelly

20th Century Fox, 2003

Starring Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Katherine Bailess, and Anika Noni Rose

Directed by Robert Iscove

Music and Lyrics by various

Our next spring break musical is one of the most notorious of the past 20 years. American Idol is a talent show that focuses on finding the next great singing star. The US version began in 2002 and with its ability to let the audience vote on their favorites, was an instant sensation. Clarkson and Guarini were the first winner and runner up, and they became overnight celebrities, singing and giving interviews pretty much everywhere on TV and the internet. 

They were among the most recognizable faces on the planet by the time Fox released this in June 2003. Fox wanted to strike while the iron was hot and insisted this be filmed and released in two and a half months. Audiences in 2003 saw it for the rush job it was, and it wound up being one of the biggest flops of the year. Is it really that horrible, or were audiences and critics right? Let's begin in a Texas bar as Kelly Taylor (Clarkson) sings for the few barflies there and find out...

The Story: Kelly's girlfriends Alexa (Bailess) and Kaya (Rose) talk her into spending spring break in Miami, Florida, despite Kelly considering spring break rituals to be degrading. On their first day, she runs into Justin Bell (Guardini), a party planner who owns a local business with his buddies Brandon (Greg Siff) and Eddie (Brian Dietzen). They fall in love at first sight, but have a hard time finding each other at first. Even after they finally meet again, Alexa decides she wants Justin for herself and does everything she can to split up the pair, Meanwhile, geeky Eddie spends his vacation searching for his Internet girlfriend, Brandon dodges a cop (Theresa San-Nicholas) who keeps giving him tickets for all his dubious money-making schemes, and Kaya pursues the handsome waiter Carlos (Jason Yribar).

The Song and Dance: Well, there is some pretty scenery in Florida. The cinematography isn't bad for the short filming time they had. Rose by far stands out as Kelly's nicer buddy, to the point where you can understand why she'd move on to the infinitely better Dreamgirls and The Princess and the Frog a few years later. 

The Numbers: We open with Kelly singing "I Won't Stand In Line" to unimpressed bar patrons in Texas. The first chorus number is "The Luv (Bounce)," as the girls arrive on the beach and encounter Justin for the first time and some truly awful dancing. "Brandon's Rap" is his attempt to explain to Eddie how to find girls, and how he plans on getting a few himself. Tap master Savion Glover does a brief but nifty routine to the instrumental "Boom Boom Boom." Justin and Kelly pick up with the duet "Forever Part of Me" as they search for each other in the crowd at the party. 

Kaya and Carlos claim "It's Meant to Be" when they have fun together dancing at a salsa club. Justin and Kelly have a second ballad, "Timeless," as he takes her boating in the back bays. Alexa gets her own dance routine with the boys, claiming that all she needs to do is "Wish Upon a Star" to get what she wants. Fed up with their men, Kaya and Kelly go to a party in wild, colorful outfits. After all, falling in love is "Madness." Kelly wishes Justin would give her love "Anytime" after Alexa explains why she went after him. They reprise it when Alexa finally brings them back together. The film ends with the entire cast singing and dancing to "That's the Way I Like It" at one last party.

Trivia: Clarkson and Guardini realized from the start how bad the script was. Clarkson wanted out, but the film was part of their contracts with American Idol. 

There was supposed to have been a soundtrack, but it was canceled when the film became a notorious flop. 

The DVD features two additional musical numbers, "Brighter Star" and "From Me to You."

What I Don't Like: Good grief. Not a single other thing works. Rose is the only one who shows an ounce of charisma. Clarkson later became a decent host on TV and Guardini has since done stage work (including on Broadway), but they can't act and have all the chemistry of two wet noodles here. The choreography is useless, the dialogue is ridiculous, the original music dull, and the plot silly piffle. They never did figure out what to do with Clarkson's character. One minute, she's a staunch feminist who calls spring break and whipped cream bikini contests degrading. The next, she's falling into Justin's arms and chasing every guy around. 

The side plots exist to pad the run time, not because they're fun to watch or work with the main story. Carlos had every right to be angry after Kaya caused him to lose his job and shouldn't have apologized. Eddie is an obnoxious and dated geek stereotype and is so unfunny, you stop caring whether he finds his girlfriend or not after the first few minutes. The running gag with Brandon and the cop is literally and figuratively run into the ground. 

Alexa's desire to win Justin for herself comes out of nowhere. She, Kaya, and Kelly are buddy-buddy for the first ten-fifteen minutes of the movie, and then suddenly, she decides she wants Justin. Her explanation as to why later on is so flat-out stupid, I can't believe Kelly bought it. Not to mention, it explains things about Kelly that we don't see. The movie keeps going on about how funny and wonderful Kelly in particular is, but all of the lead characters are so grating and annoying, I wouldn't want to be in their presence for five minutes, let alone an entire two-week spring break.

The Big Finale: This is one bad movie that lives up to the hype and then some. I wouldn't touch this with a hundred-foot pole unless you're a really huge fan of Clarkson, Guardini, American Idol, or remember the brief time in 2002-2003 when they were two of the biggest music stars on the planet. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

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Cult Flops - The Five Heartbeats

20th Century Fox, 1991

Starring Robert Townsend, Leon Robinson, Michael Wright, and Tico Wells

Directed by Robert Townsend

Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we dive into Black History Month with reviews of biographies of fictional and real R&B stars. We begin with the fictional group. Doo wop and early R&B groups were at the height of their success in the early 1960's, as the Civil Rights Movement gathered steam. If young men weren't creating groups in garages and on street corners, they were starting record companies to showcase those garage bands. Townsend was coming off a success with the 1987 stand-up comedy film Eddie Murphy Raw. Keenan Ivory Waynas produced Raw and wrote Townsend's first movie Hollywood Shuffle and In Living Color, the satirical variety show that was in it's second year when this debuted. Is this as much fun as In Living Color, or should it be thrown off a balcony? Let's begin backstage at a band contest in Columbus, Ohio and find out...

The Story: Brothers Donald "Duck" (Townsend) and J.T (Robinson) Matthews and their friends Eddie King Jr. (Wright), Anthony "Choirboy" Stone (Wells), and Terrence "Dresser" Williams (Harry J. Lennox) are members of the doo-wop group the Heartbeats. They don't win the contest, but they do manage to impress manager Jimmy Potter (Chuck Patterson). He takes them on when they fail to win another contest and introduces them to Ernest "Sarge" Johnson (Harold Nicholas), who redoes their choreography. Potter's not crazy about them signing with corrupt Big Red Davis (Hawthorne James) and his record company after his independently published single is a hit and they finally win a contest, but no one else will take them.

They become an instant success, despite a difficult tour with bad conditions and racism in the south. Eddie, who was never the most stable to begin with, handles it the worst. He takes to drugs and heavy drinking, to the point where his girlfriend Baby Doll (Troy Beyer) breaks up with him. Jimmy and the other Heartbeats are more concerned about his deteriorating performances. Eddie's worried that Jimmy intends to replace him and has Big Red cut him out. Jimmy retaliates by threatening to go to the cops with all of Red's shady activities, which promptly ends with Big Red's men running him down in front of his wife Eleanor (Diahann Carroll).

Eddie is horrified and guilt-ridden by his part in everything and does end up quitting the band. They replace him with Michael "Flash" Turner (John Canada Terrell), a far more flamboyant singer. Their success comes to an abrupt end when Flash decides to go solo and Duck and J.T have a falling out over Duck's fiancee (Carla Brothers). They don't speak to each other again until 1991, when they all finally admit that, even with all the trouble, they've never forgotten the one thing that always meant the most to all of them...singing and dancing together.

The Song and Dance: There's some terrific performances in this look at the darker side of the 60's music scene. Some of it may hit harder in today's racial climate, like the Heartbeats being furious over four white performers appearing on the cover of their album and their treatment during that tour. Carroll and Patterson come off best as the manager hoping that these guys won't leave him in the dust if they make it and his supportive wife. Wright's performance can be overwrought at times, especially in the second half, but his over-the-top delivery especially works. When the guys see him again as a poor drug addict, he's so desperate, you can practically feel it coming off him. The colorful costumes and sets do well representing the mid-60's through the early 70's, especially those sharp primary-colored suits and narrow-brimmed fedoras most of the men seem to favor.

The Numbers: We open at that contest with one girl band doing "I Never Felt This Good" and Baby Doll singing "I Love Joey." The next number gives us a glimpse of Flash's intense style that'll later take over the group with "Are You Ready for Me?" The Heartbeats finally debut with "Nothing But Love." Bird and the Midnight Falcons sing "Baby Stop Running Around" to their adoring fans who have been instructed to cheer them and boo the Heartbeats...until they hear the Heartbeats' "9:20 Special" and "A Heart Is a House for Love," and one girl literally faints into Eddie's arms. 

Duck spends all night writing a new song, but it's his little sister (Tressa Thomas) who helps him put "We Haven't Finished Yet" together. (Thomas is such a scene stealer here, I wish her brothers could have found a way to get her into the group.) Duck and J.T hear "Nothing but Love" on the radio even before they wake up, ending with dancing joyously with their many siblings. Weeks on the road playing terrible venues and staying in dirty hotels takes its toll on "Nights Like This," which ends with the guys tearing their clothes apart in a free-for-all....but the tearing goes over so well, it's incorporated into the act. 

The Four Tops' hit "Same Old Song" gives us a montage of the Heartbeats' success, from the covers of Time and Esquire to appearances on American Bandstand. We hear Flash performing "Down for the Count" with his original band, right as Eddie's life starts to go seriously south. After Eddie leaves, Flash finds himself "In the Middle" of the band's other drama. Jennifer Holliday (who starred in the original 1984 Dreamgirls on Broadway) performs a searing "Amazing Grace" at Jimmy's funeral. "Just In Case" proves to be the swan song for Flash and the Heartbeats before they finally disband. Eddie and Baby Doll finally get a number together in the 90's as part of Anthony's choir, "I Feel Like Going On." "We Haven't Finished Yet" is reprised in the finale by Patti LaBelle with Billy Valentine and Thomas.

What I Don't Like: This movie is cliched to high heck. It's basically the male flip side of Dreamgirls, with a lot of the same done-to-death complications. No wonder this wasn't a hit in 1991. We've seen it all before, and will again many times. Things get a lot less interesting after Jimmy's death and Eddie's involvement. The last half-hour with the brothers fighting over the same woman comes off as dull soap opera claptrap and makes the movie a lot longer than it needs to be. 

The music that everyone makes such a fuss about is derivative and boring, especially compared to the real vintage R&B from the groups who inspired this that plays throughout the film. (And why use "Same Old Song" for the rise to success montage? Wouldn't it have made more sense to have a song by the Heartbeats, let them actually show why they became so popular so fast?) 

The Big Finale: This seems to be one of those things people either love for the decent performances and numbers, or hate for the overwrought melodrama and inconsistent tone. It's still worth checking out at least once this Black History Month, if only to see where you stand.  

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

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A Complete Unknown

20th Century Fox/Searchlight Pictures, 2024

Starring Timothy Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanning, and Monica Babaro

Directed by James Mangold

Music and Lyrics by Bob Dylan and others

We return to the biographical well for our last theatrical musical film of 2024. Bob Dylan is one of the most beloved and influential singers and songwriters in the world. His music inspired everyone from the Beatles onward to dig a little deeper, be a little more poetic, and take stronger chances. He started out as a folk singer in the early 60's, but by 1965, he was lamenting the restrictive world of folk and having to sing other people's songs. His attempt to bust out of the mold and gain his own artistic freedom by playing with a band and an electric guitar was hugely controversial in the folk world at the time. How well does this film depict what caused that controversy? Let's begin with Dylan (Chalamet) as he arrives in New York City to meet  his hero Woody Guthrie (Scoot McNairy) and find out...

The Story: Dylan eventually travels to a hospital in New Jersey, where Guthrie is bed-ridden and unable to speak, to play a song he wrote for him. Guthrie and fellow folk legend Pete Seeger (Norton) are so impressed with his performance, Seeger takes him in and introduces him to New York's folk scene. He meets pretty civil activist Sylvie Russo (Fanning) at a concert and falls for her, eventually getting an apartment together. 

Dylan's equally attracted to folk star Joan Baez (Babaro) after seeing her play and flirting with her. Manager Albert Grossman (Dan Fogler) is so enamored with him, he takes him on as a client and encourages Columbia Records to let him make an album. They order him to sing covers of folk songs rather than his own material, something he hates. He and Baez have an affair after Russo goes on a long work trip to Europe and he starts to create more socially-conscious material.

By 1964, Dylan's one of the most popular stars of folk and rock music, and he and Russo have separated. He's seriously beginning to regret his desire for fame. All anyone wants him to do is play the same songs he did on his previous albums. He's so tired of it, he won't even sing them with Baez on tour. Looking for a new sound, he starts recording his next record Highway 61 Revisited with an electric guitar, something that's shunned by the folk community, which prefers simpler acoustic arrangements. It becomes a bitter feud between Dylan and the arrangers of the Newport Folk Festival, including a shocked Seeger. In the end, he learns the price of freedom when he does get what he wants...but damages his relationships with Seeger and the women in his life in the process.

The Song and Dance: This is the second December in a row Chalamet put in an incredible performance as  an enigmatic, eccentric genius in a musical film. His Dylan is no charming Willy Wonka, but a mysterious figure who keeps everything about himself hidden, from his childhood to just what's going on in his troubled head. Fanning and particularly Babaro more than match him as the women who inspired by him, but were driven away by his ego and inability to talk about himself. Norton is also excellent as the gentle Seeger, who is afraid for what Dylan's electric experiment means for the future of his beloved folk music, and there's Boyd Holbrook as country legend Johnny Cash. Though mostly filmed in New Jersey rather than New York or Rhode Island, the cinematography and Mangold's simple direction still manages to mostly capture both Dylan's gritty world and the little odd moments that show Dylan at is mercurial best.

The Numbers: We open with the "Song for Woody" that so impressed the two old folk musicians. This leads into "I Was Young When I Left Home." He does his own "Girl from the North Country" with Baez at that concert he spends flirting with her after being impressed with her version of the traditional folk ballad "Silver Dagger." He gets in his own "A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall." Seeger performs the South African number "Wimoweh" (better known to most people as "The Lion Sleeps Tonight") for an enraptured crowd at Town Hall. Baez is almost as popular with her "House of the Rising Sun" shortly before her affair with Dylan

"Folsom Prison Blues" introduces Cash, who encourages Dylan to sing his own material his way. He does "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" with Baez before the Civil Rights movement and Cuban Missile Crisis inspire his "Masters of War" and "Subterranean Homesick Blues." He and Baez get "Blowin' In the Wind," a big signature number for both. Cash is heard doing his own "Big River," while Dylan insists "The Times, They are A-Changin'"...even if the folk community doesn't like it. He joins Seeger and black blues man Jesse Moffette for a dynamic "When the Ship Comes In" on a local educational TV show Seeger hosts. After Bob refuses to sing "Blowin' In the Wind" and barely finishes "It Ain't Me, Babe" Joan gives the audience at the disastrous tour a version of "There but for Fortune." They record "Highway 61 Revisited," complete with a whistle Dylan picked up from a street busker, in New York. 

"Maggie's Farm" kicks off the Newport Beach Festival with a literally and figuratively electric performance. Chalamet does so well capturing Dylan's raw performance style here, you're glad when Seeger's Japanese wife Toshi (Eriko Hastsune) refuses to let her husband turn the sound down. "Like a Rolling Stone" is even better, with the pure energy rolling off the stage in waves. This is followed by "It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Lot to Cry." "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" is the song he finally plays the the acoustic guitar.

Trivia: The New York scenes were filmed in Jersey City; the ones set at the hotel in Newport were actually filmed in Cape May at the southern tip of New Jersey.

Everyone in the film did their own singing, including Chalamet.

The real name of the Sylvie Russo character is Suze Rotolo. Dylan insisted her name be changed to protect her privacy. 

What I Don't Like: First of all, this is a nitpick, but I grew up in Cape May and walked past the Victorian Hotel (the Viking Hotel in the movie) and its yellow next-door neighbor Congress Hall a thousand times as a kid. I don't know how much Jersey City and Paterson look like New York, but I do know Cape May is pretty obviously not Newport. (I also recognized the North Cape May Ferry Terminal when Sylvie was leaving town.)

Second, and more importantly, while this isn't quite your standard biopic, it does hit some standard beats. The focus on Dylan's music comes at the expense of Fanning, who doesn't really have as much to do in the second half after she breaks up with him. It tries hard to get under Dylan's skin...and it becomes frustrating when it almost, but doesn't quite succeed. Apparently, only a few documentaries have come anywhere near truly revealing the inner workings of Dylan's genius. Also, rough language and the focus on Dylan's affairs makes this for adult folk lovers only. Start your older kids on the earlier albums represented here if you want them to learn more about Dylan. 

The Big Finale: If you love Dylan or Chalamet or want to catch some truly electric performances this Christmas season, head to the theater to check out how one restless young man changed the way music was presented forever. 

Home Media: The soundtrack is currently available for streaming and will be released on vinyl in January and CD in late February.

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Cult Flops - That Lady In Ermine

20th Century Fox, 1948

Starring Betty Grable, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Caesar Romero, and Walter Abel

Directed by Ernst Lubisch and Otto Preminger

Music by Friedrich Hollaender; Lyrics by Leo Robin

That Lady In Ermine had an even more troubled production than The Emperor Waltz. The original director was frothy comedy specialist Ernst Lubisch, but he had a fatal heart attack eight days into filming. His replacement couldn't have been more different. Otto Preminger was known for his mysteries and dark dramas. He'd done one previous musical, the nostalgic Centennial Summer. That the film was a huge flop in 1946 didn't stop them from recruiting Preminger to handle an even fluffier story. How does the change in director affect the tale of a countess who is encouraged by her notorious ancestor to stop a Hungarian count from harming her husband? Let's begin at the wedding of Countess Angelina (Grable) and Baron Mario (Romero) in Northern Italy in 1861 and find out...

The Story: The two were barely married for a few hours when the castle was attacked by the Hungarian Army, led by dashing Colonel Teglash (Fairbanks Jr). Mario flees, leaving his wife to deal with the invaders. Her ancestors in their paintings call on Francesca (Grable), depicted as wearing nothing but an ermine cloak, to save them as she did 300 years before. Angelica does think he's handsome, but she's also devoted to her new husband. Even the story of how Francesca supposedly killed the Duke (Fairbanks Jr.) who lead another invading army against the castle doesn't scare him away. 

Mario returns to the castle disguised as a gypsy. Teglash is ready to hire him when he hears his excellent violin playing, until he realizes he's Angelica's husband. He asks for her to dine with him if he spares Mario's life, but she doesn't show. It's up to Francesca to send a dream that's romantic enough for Teglash to retreat...and Angelica to understand whom she truly cares about.

The Song and Dance: This has an even worse reputation than Emperor Waltz...but honestly, it's not that bad. Fairbanks Jr. and Romero have a wonderful time chewing every bit of the lavish scenery, with Fairbanks especially good as the officer who falls for both Angelica and her mysterious ancestress. The Technicolor is exquisite, a Dresden candy box showing off a wide range of glowing pastels. Grable flounces around in amazing hoop-skirted gowns and sleek fur coats trimmed with acres of ruffles, sequins, bows, and tulle, while the men show off their gold braided Italian and Hungarian uniforms and colorful gypsy rags. 

The Numbers: We open with "The Jester's Song" as Major Horvath's (Abel) ancestor Benvenuto (Abel) reports the invasion to the other ancestors in the paintings. They all join Francesca as she sings "Ooh, What I'll Do (To That Wild Hungarian)" and reveals her plans for repelling Teglash and his army. One member of a chamber orchestra plays a short, sad instrumental violin song for Teglash after they've taken the castle, but his mind is on the woman in the painting. Francesca reminds her ancestress in a dream that it doesn't matter who a man is or what he looks like if "The Melody Is Right." 

The orchestra reprises "Ooh, What I'll Do" during Tegash's lengthy dream sequence near the end of the movie. Francesca tells him he can do anything he wants, including do a vigorous waltz with her and boom "This Is the Moment" in a very dubbed baritone. Francesca's rendition is a little less bombastic and easier to take. Tegash's second dream is shorter and a lot less pleasant. He and Francesca dance again, only for her to literally stab him in the back. The two of them and the ancestors end the movie with another wild dance to "Ooh, What I'll Do."

Trivia: This began life as a German operetta in 1919, which later inspired an American stage show, Lady In Ermine. It was filmed twice before, as a silent under the original title in 1927 and as the racy musical Bride of the Regiment in 1930. Both films are now mostly lost other than a very short fragment of Bride. 

"This Is the Moment" was nominated for Best Song in 1948, but lost to "Buttons and Bows." 

What I Don't Like: Preminger's heavy-handed bombast is all wrong for a frothy romantic comedy. Everyone is always shouting and stomping when they should be laughing and waltzing. All the screaming makes a hash out of the big "This Is the Moment" dream sequence. It takes the spice out of what should be a racy romp. Grable is especially stiff and noisy, and not really believable as the reluctant countess or her matchmaking ancestress. No wonder she later called this her least-favorite vehicle. Oscar nomination aside, the music isn't really all that memorable, either. Preminger would do far better with two dark operas in the 50's, Carmen Jones and Porgy and Bess. 

The Big Finale: While not nearly as bad as most people claim, it has its fair share of problems. It's probably best for major fans of Grable or the two leading men, or those who love historical costume flicks and might be interested in the gorgeous production.

Home Media: The 20th Century Fox Cinema Archives DVD is hard to find, but it is available on streaming.

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