Starring Candace Cameron, Bobby Pickett, Ian Bohen, and John Kassir
Directed by Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow
Music and Lyrics by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and others
Sometimes, I'll run across musicals even I never heard before, like our next entry. Based on a stage musical I hadn't heard of either, Sorry the Bridge Is Out, You'll Have to Spend the Night, this comedy inspired by the Pickett song pits two typical teens against some of filmdom's most infamous monsters. Is it as much fun as Pickett's evergreen title song, or should it be left out with that bridge? Let's start with a young couple as they're stranded in front of a spooky mansion and find out...
The Story: Mary (Cameron) and Scott (Bohen) are on their way home from a party when their car stalls. They seek help in an old mansion near-by. The mansion is owned by Victor Frankenstein (Pickett) who thinks Scott's brain will be perfect for his monster. His assistant Igor (Kassir) develops a crush on Mary. Count Dracula (Anthony Crivello) also wants Mary for his bride; his wife Countess Natasha (Sarah Douglas) has designs on Scott's neck. Wolfie the werewolf (Adam Shankman) and his fussy mother (Mink Stole) think pairing him with Mary will cure his lycanthropy. And the agent (Jimmie Walker) of an Elvis mummy (E. Aron Price) needs the blood of a virgin - and both kids work - to bring his client back to life.
The Song and Dance: If the movie is this wild, the stage show must be a trip. It's basically a low-rent, kid-oriented Rocky Horror Picture Show, with two young innocents once again trapped in a pretty darn bizarre party. The "all the movie monsters in one place" theme gives it some live-action Mad Monster Party vibes, too. Some of the music is surprisingly catchy, too, and the cast is really enjoying every campy moment of it. Along with Pickett reprising his signature "Monster Mash," I'll also give shout-outs to Kassir as one of filmdom's more sympathetic Igors and Crivello as a suave and dashing Dracula.
Favorite Number: All of the monsters keep the kids from leaving by telling them "I'm Sorry, the Bridge Is Out, You'll Have to Spend the Night" in an opening chorus number. Mary encourages Igor to "Play Your Hunch" and try to be someone special away from his master. He gets so into it, he turns it into a big chorus number with dancers. Dracula complains (with the help of the dancers again) that he has the "Eternity Blues" spending it with his nagging wife. Pickett reprises his own "Monster Mash" to describe what happens when Frankenstein dreams of receiving a Nobel Prize, once again with the dancers joining in.
Trivia: Apparently, a lot was changed from the stage show; three characters were dropped, two songs and "Monster Mash" were added, and the script was re-written to modernize it and add topical references.
What I Don't Like: Did I mention the "low-rent" thing? It's all pretty silly, even for a horror comedy, and campy as heck. The kids are stiff and dull; their duet was one of the new songs added for the film, and it's even more boring than them. The effects and makeup, especially the Frankenstein mask, are painfully cheap. It looks and sounds more like a high school performance of Bridge Is Out than an indie from the 90's. And for all the talk about Wolfie's transformation, he just turns into a regular dog and doesn't really have that much to do.
The Big Finale: Cute time-waster on Halloween week for families with elementary school-age horror fans who might get a kick out of the monster references.
Home Media: To my knowledge, at the moment, this rarity can only be found on YouTube.
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