Disney, 2022
Starring Tom Hanks, Cynthia Erivo, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, and Jason Gordon-Levitt
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Music and Lyrics by various
I've been hit-or-miss with Disney's remakes. I loved Beauty and the Beast as much as the original, thought Aladdin was very funny, Lady and the Tramp had its moments, Pete's Dragon was rather sweet, and The Jungle Book was even better than the animated version. However, Cinderella was only so-so, Dumbo tacked on an unnecessary environmental message and way too much padding, and The Lion King and the movies that turned enjoyable villains into annoying anti-heroes were just dull. Where does Pinocchio fall in the pack? To find out, let's begin in an Italian village in 1895, as kindly Geppetto (Hanks) creates a little wooden boy who almost looks real, and find out...
The Story: Lonely after the death of his wife and son, Geppetto wishes on a star for the puppet to become a real boy. The Blue Fairy (Ervio) grants him his wish and brings Pinocchio (Ainsworth) to life, but says he needs to prove himself brave, honest, and selfless in order to become a real boy. To make sure he sticks to his goal, she appoints Jiminy Cricket (Gordon-Levitt), who stopped into Geppetto's workshop to warm himself, his protector and conscience.
Jiminy finds how hard it is to keep a puppet from straying when Pinocchio is convinced to join a puppet show by Honest John the fox (Keegan-Michael Kay) and Gideon the cat. The show is owned by the tyrannical Stromboli, who abuses the beautiful puppeteer Fabiana (Kyanne Lamaya) and refuses to let Pinocchio return to his father.
Jiminy helps him out of that jam, only to lose the wooden boy again when a coachman (Luke Evans) kidnaps him and takes him to Pleasure Island. Pinocchio can sense something's wrong...and he's right when the kids start turning into donkeys. He and Jiminy barely evade that...but even when they do find Geppetto, they end up having to rescue him, his pets, and themselves from the belly of Monstro the Whale!
The Animation: Gorgeous for a streaming offering. While not quite as detailed as the original, Jiminy, Pinocchio, and Fabiana's marionette Sabrina (Jaquita Ta'le) do move very well, and the puppets, at least, largely manage to avoid looking too creepy. Pleasure Island is incredible, with its overwhelming mountains of candy and breakable objects, like a demonic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The water in the finale with Monstro - and how the animated characters interact with it - is well-integrated, too.
The Song and Dance: This isn't nearly as bad as the terrible reviews make it out to be. I suspect this is one time most people were hoping for a rehash of the beloved 1940 film. What I like here is how they handled the Pleasure Island segment. In the original, Pinocchio went along with everything Lampwick said and did until he started turning into a donkey. Here, he starts questioning things when he sees the kids attacking clocks and other items that remind him of his father. It gives us more of a glimpse of how much Pinocchio's changed since he set out that morning and how much he really does love Geppetto.
Favorite Number: We start off with Tom Hanks not doing too badly by one of the new songs, "When He Was Here With Me," as he remembers how much he loved his lost son. He sings another new number, the title song, as he, Figaro, and Cleo dance around the workshop with Pinocchio after he comes to life. "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" is still Honest John's charming number luring Pinocchio to Stromboli's...which he has an even easier time doing after the boy is thrown out of school for being a puppet. "I've Got No Strings" starts badly, with Pinocchio literally falling on his face. After Sabrina gets him going, they resume with the French and Russian puppets from the original film. Pinocchio dances so fast with the Russians, his feet literally burst into flame!
And yes, "When You Wish Upon a Star" is heard twice, once at the beginning with Jiminy, and over the end credits by Ervio.
What I Don't Like: First of all, while Fabiana and Sabrina are charming and help get rid of Stromboli, they otherwise don't add much to the film besides a sob story and the so-so ballad "I Will Always Dance." Second, while Stromboli is punished for abusing his workers, the Coachman, Honest John, and Gideon still get away with all the terrible things they did. We never see the con-animals again after they turn Pinocchio over to Stromboli - they don't help the Coachman here - and the Coachman once again vanishes after Jiminy and Pinocchio escape Pleasure Island. Third, the Brooklyn-accented seagull Sofia (Lorraine Bracco) is an annoying funny animal character who is only useful in the end, when she's the one who brings Jiminy and Pinocchio to Geppetto at sea.
And...why didn't they use the entire score? Why did they cut "Give a Little Whistle," one of my favorite songs from the original? Couldn't figure out how to animate Jiminy dancing? The additional songs are mediocre at best. Not to mention...yeah, like most of the other remakes, this lacks the charm and heart of the original.
The Big Finale: While it's better than the critics made it out to be and does have a few perks of its own, you're still better off showing your kids the original.
Home Media: Disney Plus streaming exclusive at the moment.
As I remember, in the book--haven't read it in years!--no one gets punished, except for the fox (not named in the book, just called the Fox and the Cat)--I think he's killed and skinned for a fox stole. Of course the biggest difference is that in the book Pinocchio kills the Cricket!!!
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