Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Cult Flops - Everyone Says I Love You

Miramax Films, 1996
Starring Woody Allen, Goldie Hawn, Drew Barrymore, and Natasha Lyonne
Directed by Woody Allen
Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we're looking at two very different romantic comedies revolving around relationships in the last 30 years. Let's start with the more traditional one. Woody Allen saluted the fanciful films of the 1930's featuring wealthy characters pursuing each other in cosmopolitan cities like Paris and New York, along with the Marx Brothers films, in this one. He also brought together a wonderful cast, some of whom were just starting their careers at that point. How well did he do with the story of an affluent extended family and their romantic misadventures? Let's begin with young lovers Skylar Dandridge (Barrymore) and her fiancee Holden Spence (Edward Norton) as Djuna "DJ" Berlin (Lyonne) explains her family's situation and find out...

The Story: DJ tries her hardest to help everyone in her family with their love problems, but it doesn't always work out the way she hoped. She suggests Horton put his wedding ring in Skylar's parfait, but she just eats it. Her liberal lawyer stepfather Bob (Alan Alda) is annoyed with his son Scott (Lukas Haas) whose political views are the opposite of his. Bob's wife Steffi (Hawn) wishes DJ's writer father Joe (Allen) would find another woman, but he's still hung up on Steffi. DJ pairs him with Von (Julia Roberts), an art historian, while on a trip to Venice. 

DJ, meanwhile, has fallen for a handsome gondolier and plans to run off with him...but there's that hunky college student in New York, and the rapper, and the dashing Paris hunk. Skylar breaks up with Horton when she falls for ex-con Charles Ferry (Tim Roth), but rushes back to Horton when it turns out Charles hasn't given up the criminal life after all. There's also Grandpa (Patrick Crenshaw) wandering around New York looking for odd things, and DJ's sisters Lane (Gaby Hoffman) and Laura (Natalie Portman) compete for a handsome local millionaire (John Griffin).

The Song and Dance: And with a story that slim, song and dance are the primary interest here. Considering most of these people aren't known for musicals, voices range from mostly passable (Roberts, Norton) to actually quite good (Hawn has sung on film before, and Alda began his career in stage musicals). The musical numbers are fabulous, with decent dancing, brilliant costumes, and lovely cinematography in the real New York, Paris, and Venice. Even Allen does relatively well as the schlub who thinks he wants his wife back, but really just needs someone new to focus on. He apparently wanted to show what would happen if relatively normal people just burst into old show tunes, and he really has fun with this. The opening numbers that come out of nowhere are my favorite, but he and Hawn get a nice Astaire/Rogers spoof in the end.

The Numbers: We open with Norton and Barrymore (dubbed by Olivia Hayman) singing "Just You, Just Me" as they stroll along in New York, passing lovely fountains and mannequins dancing for them in store windows. It's later performed by violinist Isthzak Pearlman and his pianist wife Navah at a party. Norton insists to Lyonne and a jewelry salesman (Edward Hibbett) that his girl doesn't want anything expensive, "My Baby Just Cares for Me." This turns into a huge chorus number with the salespeople and models at the store. As she prepares for her date, Barrymore admits "I'm a Dreamer, Aren't We All?" when she says she wants a man who is tougher and more decisive than her wishy-washy beau.

The hospital sequence after Barrymore eats the ring becomes another chorus routine as the nurses and doctors comment on how their charges are eager for some "Makin' Whoopee." "I'm Through With Love" is performs several times, first by Allen in his Venice hotel room (in a more attractive whispery voice than you might think), and later by Norton and Hawn at Halloween when they have trouble with their significant others. Roberts'  voice on"All My Life" isn't nearly as good, but it does accompany a charming sequence as we see Joe and Von's relationship progress through Venice. DJ changes her tune about the gondolier she fell for when she encounters a hot guy (Billy Crudup) at the airport who sings "Cuddle Up a Little Closer" on the taxi home with the help of the driver (Sanjev Ramabhadran). 

Alda gets one of Cole Porter's lovelier ballads, "Looking at You," as he plays for Steffi at his daughter's engagement party. Tim Roth is more profuse in claiming what he'd do "If I Had You" to Barrymore later in the party; they end up singing "I Can't Believe That You're In Love With Me."  Grandpa finally gets his say, wiggling with special-effects ghosts at the funeral home reminding everyone to "Enjoy Yourself (It's Later Than You Think)." 

A young Christy Carlson Romano sings about "Chiquita Banana" while showing off her unique costume at Halloween. We finish with a French language "Hooray for Captain Spaulding" performed by a chorus of Grouchos at the Paris Marx Brothers ball. Hawn sings "No Lover, No Friend" as she and Allen dream of dancing in Paris. We end with the entire cast dancing in Marx Brothers costume to the title number. 

What I Don't Like: First of all, I wish Allen hadn't had Haas' character change his political point of view so quickly and ridiculously. I liked his and Alda's sparring, and it's normal for members of families, even wealthy ones, to have differing opinions. Second, yeah, like the movies this is intended to be a homage to, this is genre fluff of the highest order. If you're not a fan of romantic comedy, older songs from the 20's through the 40's, or Allen's other work, you probably won't be into this. It's also not for those who aren't into musicals period. There's a lot of numbers in this movie, and yes, they're all performed by normal people who suddenly burst into song. (And some of those people, notably Norton and Roberts, aren't exactly the world's best singers.)

The Big Finale: If you're a fan of Allen, anyone in the cast, or the romantic musicals of the 30's and 40s this is spoofing, you'll have a fine time with the musical misadventures of DJ and her unique family.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, including free on Tubi with commercials.

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