Voices of Alice Playton, Rhea Pearlman, Madeline Khan, and Cloris Leachman
Directed by Michael Joens
Music and Lyrics by various
Care Bears was just one of many animated TV shows in the 1980's created to sell a toy line. Standards for children's advertising were lowered in the early 80's, leading to every sort of thing being sold to children, from toys to junk food to clothes and music. My Little Pony was originally My Pretty Pony, a fairly realistic soft brown toy horse made by Hasbro in 1981. That pony tossed off a baby version and two more in pink and yellow with symbols on their rumps. Those last two eventually inspired a revamp of the whole line into a series of smaller, more colorful fantasy-oriented horses, each with their own rear symbol and flowing manes.
Hasbro advertised them with two prime-time syndicated specials in 1984 and 1985. After the success of those and The Care Bears Movie, they decided the Ponies were ready for their own feature-length showcase. Were they right, or should this be dropped in a vat of Smooze? Let's begin in Pony Land, where all of the equine residents are preparing for their Spring Festival, and find out...
The Story: Baby Lickety-Split (Playton) is excited to show off her own dance move in the Baby Ponies' spring show, despite Spike the Dragon (Charlie Adler) admonishing her that it's a bad idea. He turns out to be right. She spins in the wrong direction and sends the other babies sprawling. Dance mistress Buttons (Sheryl Bernstein) harshly scolds her for ruining the show, upsetting her so much that she runs away. Spike joins her. After Lickety-Split's attempt to fly sends them crashing down a waterfall, they eventually discover a whole race of ugly-but-kind creatures named Grundles. Their King (Danny DiVito) explains that a trio of witches destroyed their kingdom...and they'll have no trouble doing it again.
The witch is Hydia (Leachman), an evil old biddy whose dark magic destroys creatures that just annoy her. She almost wishes she could destroy her bumbling daughters Draggle (Kahn) and Reeka (Pearlman), who can't even flood the Ponies properly. She finally gets them to make Smooze (Jon Bauman), a nasty slime creature that devours all in its path. After it destroys the Ponies' original castle home, their human friend Megan (Tammy Anderson) and her siblings Molly (Keri Houlihan) and Danny (Scott Menville) join several of them to ask the Moochick (Tony Randall) for a new home. He directs them to Flutter Valley, the home of the Flutter Ponies, the only creatures that can stop the Smooze.
The Animation: This was rushed out in ten weeks...and I'm afraid it looks it. It's not much above the specials or the subsequent TV show. It also has many of the same problems as the Care Bears films, including horrible continuity. Ponies frequently turn up where they shouldn't be, or are colored wrong. The ponies themselves move stiffly and don't have much variation besides their colors, but the backgrounds are frequently lush and detailed, especially in the Witches' volcano castle and the Ponies' green and vivid world.
The Song and Dance: I'm surprised they rounded up such an impressive voice cast for this. Randall is carried over from the specials, but DiVito, Playten, and the comediennes voicing the witches all play characters created for the film. The witches in particular are hilarious. Kahn and Pearlman steal the show as the abused daughters who just want to live their lives and get their demanding mother off their backs. I like some of the newer characters, too. The Grundels in particular make a nice contrast to the witches and prove that not every ugly creature that turns up in a cartoon is necessarily bad.
Favorite Number: We open with the theme from the specials, which describes the Ponies' preparations for their Spring Festival. Lickety-Split angrily tells Spike "I'll Go It Alone" after the incident at the dance show, but Spike won't let her wander around on her own. Hydia laments her daughters' incompetence and that they can't be an "Evil Witch Like Me." Draggle and Reeka gleefully claim "I'll Do the Dirty Work"...so long as they don't have to deal with that carnivorous Flume! They join the Smooze in claiming "Nothing Can Stop the Smooze," including Ponies and rainbows.
"Home" is Randall's big number, as the Moochick suggests different dwellings for the Ponies to replace their lost castle, only for them to reject them all. DiVito and the Grundels may look monstrous, but they're more than happy to point out "Grundels Good" in their underground home. When all seems lost, Lickety-Split laments "What Good Would Wishing Do?" into a well...but there's someone else down that well who could help them more than they'd ever know...
Trivia: Hasbro didn't have nearly as much luck as American Greetings with their franchises. Neither My Little Pony nor Transformers: The Movie went over well at the box office (though the latter is now considered a cult classic). The latter was such a huge flop, the similar GI Joe: The Movie went straight to video.
What I Don't Like: Let's start with Lickety-Split and Buttons. Though the movie makes it look like Buttons was fully in the wrong - she does regret yelling at the kid later - even Spike pointed out that Lickety-Split shouldn't have been inserting her own moves into the show. Buttons did overreact...but she was right that Lickety-Split caused trouble. Lickety-Split spends most of the remaining movie being rather bratty, at least until she sees what happened to the Grundels and realizes there's worse things out there than being yelled at.
The witches dominate the movie to such a degree, they only serve to illustrate how bland the other characters are. Most of the Ponies introduced here would be at least a little more interesting in the My Little Pony and Friends TV show that debuted in 1987. Disappointingly, neither Randall nor DiVito have as much to do as the ladies besides their brief numbers. Some of the songs and the Ponies' dialogue can be too sickeningly sweet for words. Megan's "There's Always Another Rainbow" is needed as a hope spot, but it's marred by too-syrupy music and drippy lyrics. There's also the all-over-the place plot. The movie awkwardly cuts between Lickety Split and Spike, Megan and her group, and the group looking for Lickety Split without much rhyme or reason.
The Big Finale: Though there's some funny performances and decent songs, this version largely hasn't dated well. It's only for major fans of the comedians in question, the Generation 1 Pony toy line, the specials, the TV show, or young girls who will enjoy the colorful ponies and ignore the confusing plot and so-so animation.
Home Media: Not currently on streaming, but you can find it on the original Rhino Entertainment DVD, or bundled with the 2017 My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic film on Blu-Ray.
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