Valentine's Short Subject Special - The Valentine's Day That Almost Wasn't

Showtime, 1982

Voices of Lisa Buckley, Richard J. Schellbach, Paul Fusco, and Bob Fappiano

Directed by Paul Fusco

Music and Lyrics by Ed Bruder and Jeff Cannata

From 1981 through 1983 Paul Fusco, the creator of ALF, made a series of six holiday specials for cable featuring his unique comic puppets. We've already seen his Easter and Thanksgiving stories over the past year. For Valentine's Day, we get a mystery and action spoof that turns cupids into Bogart-style investigators and gives us a little more action than in the more character-based early specials. In fact, we begin with our first real villain from these specials, Rubella Slime (Buckley) and her brothers, as they create a brew to spread hate in the world and end Valentine's Day as we know it.

The Story: Rubella hates Valentine's Day so much, she and her brothers Bugsy (Fusco) and Weasel (Fappiano) create a hate potion to put into the Cupids' Pot of Love. They first spray it on innocent Cosmo Cupid (Schellbach) when he's giving away puppies at the pound to create a distraction. While Sam Cupid (Fusco) and his boys are dealing with Cosmo, Bugsy and Weasell are able to sneak in and put the potion in the pot. When the cupids shoot their arrows, they turn everyone mean instead of loving. Sam has to find the antidote and stops Rubella, before she and her brothers ruin Valentine's Day for everyone.

The Song and Dance: Well, you can't say this one isn't unique. You don't often see a holiday special, especially for Valentine's Day, framed as a film noir spoof. The city and above the clouds setting gives this one a different vibe from the other specials, and it's a bit more action-packed, as per the mystery thriller vibe. Buckley pretty much steals the show as the hilariously evil Rubella, who wants everyone to hate Valentine's Day because she's never gotten a real Valentine in her life.

The Numbers: "Poison Brew" is Rubella's big song and dance with her brothers early-on. We get their explanation as to why they're doing this, how they plan on doing it, and what it will do to the people on earth.

What I Don't Like: This might be the strangest thing Fusco ever did. Humphrey Bogart-imitating Cupids? Villains who act like a cross between Maleficent and Morticia Addams? A Valentine's Day story framed as a mystery? Yeah, this is pretty weird, and more action than musical. Like Fusco's other work for Showtime, it's also incredibly cheap. Some of the sets are a little bit more interesting than the ones for Easter and Thanksgiving, especially when Cosmo and Sam are in their hot air balloon, using a laser (that is obviously a spotlight) to spread love, but it still looks like something made for cable in the early 80's.

The Big Finale: If you're looking for something different (and maybe a little less romantic) this Valentine's Day, take a trip to the big city with Sam and help him stop Rubella from destroying the holiday forever.

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming, including free on Tubi with commercials.

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Thanksgiving Short Subject Special - A Thanksgiving Tale

Showtime, 1983

Directed by James Field

Voices of Paul Fusco, Lisa Buckley, Richard Schellbach, and Lisa Fusco

Music and Lyrics by Richard Schellbach

In 1982 and 1983, Paul Fusco made four holiday puppet-based holiday specials for Showtime that showed off his puppeteering abilities. I covered the Easter special back in April. The Thanksgiving special debuted later in 1983 and would also turn up on Nickelodeon and elsewhere throughout the 80's. Like the rest of Fusco's early work, it vanished in the early 90's, only to reappear in the 2010's as streaming made early holiday programming more widely available. Is it as enjoyable as the Easter special? Let's begin in an alley in Newark, New Jersey with a group of very hungry cats and find out...

The Story: The cats live in a tool shed in the alley. They have a home, but have run out of food. The dogs who guard the restaurant next-door have cleared out all of the mice. They have plenty of food, thanks to their jobs, but live outside in the freezing cold. The cats think they have their Thanksgiving dinner all sewn up when Tom, a turkey with Broadway ambitions (Fusco), turns up on their doorstep. The dogs try to rescue him, which eventually results in a literal cat and dog fight. It's Queenie the female cat (Buckley) and Tom who finally realize that each group has what the other needs. Tom puts on a play that finally teaches both groups the importance of sharing what they have and working together.

The Song and Dance: For 30 years, I had vague memories of a Thanksgiving puppet special involving a group of cats and dogs who end up helping each other. I couldn't remember the title or any other details, until the Fusco shows started turning up on YouTube. I definitely enjoy this one more than the Easter special. The story is charming and unique, Fusco's Tom Turkey and his theatrical aspirations are hilarious (and he doesn't sound too much like his later creation ALF this time), and the cats and dogs all have well-delineated and very funny personalities. The puppets are slightly more interesting, too, with Tom being by far the most expressive.

The Numbers: The dogs get our first song, as they lament shivering outside and being homeless in "They Say It's a Dog's Life." The cats give their side of the story and why they think they own their turf in "We are the Cats." We finish after their Thanksgiving pageant with Tom and both groups realizing how important friendship and cooperation is in "Thanksgiving Magic." 

What I Don't Like: Though the story and puppets are a bit more interesting than the ones made for the Easter show, this is still pretty obviously a low-budget special made for cable in the early 80's. The sets are minimal, the characters can occasionally be grating, the score mainly consists of synthesizer music, and there's some mild Mexican stereotypes with the displaced chihuahua. 

The Big Finale: I'm glad to see that this mostly holds up pretty well. It remains a fun watch before Thanksgiving dinner for families with young kids or fans of ALF, the Muppets, or other similar kids' puppet shows.

Home Media: Streaming only, but it can be found for free with commercials pretty much anywhere, including Tubi and Amazon Prime.

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Easter Short Subject Special - An Easter Story

Showtime, 1983

Voices of Paul Fusco, Lisa Buckley, Rich Schellbach, and Robert Fappiano

Directed by Terry Kyne

Music and Lyrics by Ed Bruter, Michael Solden, and Jeff Cannata

Let's celebrate Easter with a unique blast from my childhood. Fusco is best-known today as the creator and long-time voice of the furry alien ALF. From 1981 to 1983, Fusco made a series of holiday specials for Showtime featuring cuter and more cartoon-like puppets. The Easter special debuted in 1983 as his second-to-last holiday show. It would turn up on Nickelodeon and elsewhere on cable for a few years before disappearing for three decades. Now that Fusco's early work has re-emerged online, how does this one stack up to that better-known visitor from Melmac? Let's begin with the Easter Bunnies at their factory in a cave as they prepare for Easter and find out...

The Story: O'Hare, the Easter Bunny's right-hand rabbit, recalls the year the factory almost had to stop production. The factory was running out of paint, and Miss Fifi and her chickens couldn't produce enough eggs, even when the head Easter Bunny gave them a color TV to watch soaps. His magic-obsessed son tries to help, but his spells keep producing jelly beans instead of eggs. E.B is worried he won't be able to live up to his father's legacy...but when all seems dark, he gets a spark of inspiration from two boys who waited to see the Easter Bunny and suggest that they might be able to color their own eggs to help out. 

The Song and Dance: Charmingly goofy story features some nifty puppet work from Fusco, especially down below with all of those rabbits working on the production line. The subplot with E.B's son and his constantly producing jelly beans is actually pretty funny and may be my favorite part of this. That opening and closing "Work, Work, Work" number is kind of catchy, too, despite the synthesizer arrangements. 

The Numbers: We open and close with "Work, Work, Work" as the bunnies explain what they do and how they're getting ready for Easter Day. E.B gets a number directly to the camera mid-way through, which is sort of a song/recitation on how E.B wishes he could live up to his father's legacy and what he'll do if the factory closes, "Pressures." 

What I Don't Like: First of all, nitpicking, but...Fusco is so recognizable as ALF by now, it's hard to hear him as an Easter Bunny who's concerned about his workers. You keep expecting him to try to eat a cat or something. O'Hare sounds kind of annoying, too. It's also obvious that there was only one female puppeteer, as the two female characters have the same breathy voice. Second, it's pretty obvious all of these specials were low-budget. The rabbits barely move, and until E.B goes above-ground and catches the kids waiting for him, we're mostly in the rather dull-looking factory.

The Big Finale: That said, this is still a fun watch before the Easter egg hunt, especially for fans of ALF, the Muppets, or other similar puppet shows. 

Home Media: Easily found on streaming for free, including on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

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Musicals On TV - Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical

Showtime, 2005

Starring Kristin Bell, Christian Campbell, Ana Gasteyer, and Alan Cumming

Directed by Andy Fickman

Music and Lyrics by Dan Studney and David Manning

If a musical about a snooker-playing vampire is bizarre, what do we call a musical based on a notorious exploitation film? And one that goes much further into its horrific concept than the original film ever did. The original Reefer Madness dates from 1936, when it was presented as an educational morality tale created by a church group to teach young people about the dangers of drug use. 

Somewhere around 1938 or '39, exploitation filmmaker Dwain Esper purchased it and added more salacious scenes, screening it throughout the 40's. Neither he nor the original creator bothered correcting the copyright, so the movie fell in the public domain...which made it popular in the 70's on the midnight movie circuit and with groups looking to legalize cannabis. The songwriters saw the film in 1998 and thought it would make a great musical. It was a hit in LA and later turned up off-Broadway before it turned up in this film version. Is it just as enjoyably weird as the 1936 film, or should it be sent down with the devil? Let's begin in black and white 1936, as The Lecturer (Cummings) introduces our story to a group of PTA parents, and find out...

The Story: Jimmy Harper (Campbell) loves Mary Lane (Bell), but he has two left feet when it comes to swing dancing. He wants to impress her, so he lets slick Jack Stone (Steven Webber) take him across town to give him lessons. Turns out he's really a drug pusher whose home is a Reefer Den, where he lives with his girlfriend Mae (Gasteyer), drug-crazed college drop-out Ralph (John Kassir), and addled prostitute and out-of-wedlock mother Sally (Amy Spangler). 

Jack gets Jimmy quickly hooked on drugs after a wild sexual hallucination. No one can figure out the sudden change in him, not even Mary. Jimmy's so far gone, he even ignores a vision from Heaven. Jimmy tries to drop the drugs after he and Sally run over an old man, claiming to Mary he'll return to her. He's lured back to the den by Jack, who plies him with brownies. Mary follows, too...but when Jimmy sees Mary gone on drugs and Ralph pawing her, he attacks Ralph. Jack's shot ends up killing Mary, and Jack frames Jimmy for her death. Now Jimmy may end up taking the rap, if Mae doesn't come forward and admit what "the Stuff" has done to her life and the lives of so many others.

The Song and Dance: As you can guess from the plot description, this is seriously weird. It's supposed to be spoofing the drug culture, other musicals, and cheapie exploitation films, but the dark subject matter and heavy blood and violence definitely push it into black comedy territory. Campbell and especially Bell are hilarious as the clean-cut kids who are suddenly turned into murderers and sex fiends due to the drug culture, and Gastmeyer is excellent as abused, pushed-around Mae. Cummings is appropriately sinister, yet oddly friendly as the Lecturer who seems to be everywhere at once. Surprisingly attractive production for a TV musical too, with stunning costumes recreating sweet 30's suburbia and kinky drug-fueled fantasies and gorgeous bright-hued sets.

Favorite Number:  We open in the black-and-white schoolroom, as the Lecturer explains to his audience what we're about to see and what is so horrible about "Reefer Madness." Mary and Jimmy imagine they'll be just like "Romeo and Juliet" in their first duet, not realizing just how close to those doomed lovers their romance will get. Mae laments how she's so hooked on "The Stuff," she can't escape her abusive relationship with Jack. The teens in town and soda shoppe owner Miss Poppy (Neve Campbell) get some wild swing dancing in "Down at the Ol' Five and Dime." Jack grabs Miss Poppy to show Jimmy and the teens how dancing is really done, in a tango that's far more passionate than almost anything that would have been shown onscreen in 1936.

Jimmy's first drug hit turns into "The Orgy," a wild sexual fantasy of nearly-naked dancers strutting around waving marijuana branches. Mary counters with "Lonely Pew" as she prays at a local church that Jimmy will remember how much she loves him. "Listen to Jesus, Jimmy," begs the angels from Heaven as he himself tries to point out to the young man that he's following a very dark path. Jimmy repents and briefly returns to his "Mary Jane/Mary Lane," in a ballad so joyous, everyone in the entire film - even the old man who got run over and the people in the PTA audience - sing along with it. 

"The Brownie Song" takes us into animation as Jimmy's rhapsody about his first drug pastry becomes another wild fantasy number. Ralph accuses Mary of being "Little Miss Sunshine," until she takes the drug and suddenly turns into a black leather-clad dominatrix in his imagination. Jimmy realizes how much like Romeo and Juliet they are during "Mary's Death." It's "Murder!" when Mae wonders if pulling back from telling the truth and letting Jimmy take the rap is a good idea. She's still covered in blood when she runs to the President and turns her admittance of Jimmy's innocence into the grand finale "Tell 'Em the Truth," complete with Sally as Lady Liberty, Ralph as Uncle Sam, Jack as George Washington, and prisoners strutting all around the electric chair.

Trivia: Look for Neve Campbell in a cameo as Miss Poppy. 

"Mary Jane/Mary Lane" won the Best Song Emmy in 2005. 

What I Don't Like: First and foremost, the violence, blood, and heavy subject matter makes this absolutely not for children. It's also not for those looking for a lighter musical. Despite the big fancy chorus numbers, this is as toasty-dark of a comedy as you can get. It's not for those looking for subtlety, either. This is as in-your-face as the notorious anti-drug film it's making fun of. 

And speaking of, it does make some changes from the original film and the stage show. In the original movie, Jimmy was two characters. Bill was Mary's boyfriend who got involved with drugs, Jimmy was her brother. Mae's name was Blanche, and she jumped out a window rather than state evidence against Jack. Jack had a boss he answered to, and Ralph tried to attack Mary. Ralph kills Jack, not Blanche. It also drops several songs from the stage show, but does add "Mary Jane/Mary Lane" and "The Brownies Song."

The Big Finale: If you're an adult who loves black comedy, have seen the original exploitation film, or are looking for a truly dark and bizarre musical, this one is highly recommended. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming. Tubi currently has it for free with ads.

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