Happy Halloween! - Monster Mash (2000)

DIC Entertainment/Universal, 2000

Voices of David Soblov, French Tickner, Scott McNeill, and Jaynse Jaud

Directed by Guido Manuli

Music and Lyrics by various

The live-action Monster Mash wouldn't be the last time Pickett's song turned up as the title of a film...and I never heard of this one before a few days ago, either. This direct-to-video feature was apparently a co-production between DIC, Universal, and the Italian TV company RAI Fiction. What they came up with may be the weirdest musical I've done yet this month. How freaky is the story of how three of the most famous monsters of filmdom try to scare a family in order to regain the respect of their frightening peers? Let's start in the distant past, when Dracula (Tickner), the Wolf Man (McNeill), and Frankenstein's monster (Soblov) were considered the most popular creatures in Universal's roster, and find out...

The Story: Dracula, Wolf Man, and Frankenstein's monster were for years the most frightening freaks in Universal's roster...until they became more associated with laughter than scares. The Superior Court of Horrors demands that they scare the Tinklemeister family, or be forced to give up scaring forever. 

Meanwhile, the Tinklemeisters have their own problems. Their youngest son Spike (Jaud) was struck by lightning as a child and, though he's a chemical genius, hasn't spoken since. They're thrilled when they're offered a an all-expenses-paid vacation to Transylvania. The monsters easily scare the already-nervous father and finally get through to the mother, but the kids are a harder nut to crack. They finally tell the family the truth and, with their help, prove to a trio of modern slasher monsters that for youngers, the older-style freaks are just scary enough. 

The Animation: If you know anything about DIC's work around this time, you know what to expect. It's pretty typical Saturday-morning fare. The colorful and wild hair styles and sketchy character designs (not to mention some of the voice actors) makes this sound a lot like a spooky version of Nicklelodeon's wildly popular Rugrats series. 

The Song and Dance: This was honestly better than I thought it would be from the low-budget pedigree. The story is pretty funny, and some of the satire does land, especially in the second half, when they're trying to scare the Tinklemeisters. And heck, "Tinklemeister" is a pretty funny name. The music's kind of catchy, too, including a nifty version of the title song in the opening and closing. 

Favorite Number: In addition to "Monster Mash," I also like "When We Were Bad." The Monsters show the Tinklemeisters movies of their younger years and how cool and terrifying they were, before people started to consider them parodies of themselves. The Tinklemeisters explain what happens to their youngest son and why he can only whistle while they're "Waiting for Spike to Speak."

What I Don't Like: Not only is the story pretty silly, the old monsters vs. new monsters theme gets really annoying after a while. The satire of 80's horror icons is barely veiled, a bit mean-spirited, and honestly kind of lame. Not to mention, by the early 21st century, everyone from Tiny Toon Adventures to the Scary Movie franchise made fun of horror icons in general and slasher films in particular. 

The Big Finale: Fairly enjoyable after-trick-or-treat filler for elementary-school age kids who love horror and may recognize some of the characters and clichés that are being satirized here. 

Home Media: Out of print and expensive on DVD. Streaming is your best bet for this one; it's currently playing for free on Pluto TV.

Pluto TV On Demand

Cult Flops - Monster Mash (1995)

Prism Pictures, 1995

Starring Candace Cameron, Bobby Pickett, Ian Bohen, and John Kassir

Directed by Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow

Music and Lyrics by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and others

Sometimes, I'll run across musicals even I never heard before, like our next entry. Based on a stage musical I hadn't heard of either, Sorry the Bridge Is Out, You'll Have to Spend the Night, this comedy inspired by the Pickett song pits two typical teens against some of filmdom's most infamous monsters. Is it as much fun as Pickett's evergreen title song, or should it be left out with that bridge? Let's start with a young couple as they're stranded in front of a spooky mansion and find out...

The Story: Mary (Cameron) and Scott (Bohen) are on their way home from a party when their car stalls. They seek help in an old mansion near-by. The mansion is owned by Victor Frankenstein (Pickett) who thinks Scott's brain will be perfect for his monster. His assistant Igor (Kassir) develops a crush on Mary. Count Dracula (Anthony Crivello) also wants Mary for his bride; his wife Countess Natasha (Sarah Douglas) has designs on Scott's neck. Wolfie the werewolf (Adam Shankman) and his fussy mother (Mink Stole) think pairing him with Mary will cure his lycanthropy. And the agent (Jimmie Walker) of an Elvis mummy (E. Aron Price) needs the blood of a virgin - and both kids work - to bring his client back to life.

The Song and Dance: If the movie is this wild, the stage show must be a trip. It's basically a low-rent, kid-oriented Rocky Horror Picture Show, with two young innocents once again trapped in a pretty darn bizarre party. The "all the movie monsters in one place" theme gives it some live-action Mad Monster Party vibes, too. Some of the music is surprisingly catchy, too, and the cast is really enjoying every campy moment of it. Along with Pickett reprising his signature "Monster Mash," I'll also give shout-outs to Kassir as one of filmdom's more sympathetic Igors and Crivello as a suave and dashing Dracula. 

Favorite Number: All of the monsters keep the kids from leaving by telling them "I'm Sorry, the Bridge Is Out, You'll Have to Spend the Night" in an opening chorus number. Mary encourages Igor to "Play Your Hunch" and try to be someone special away from his master. He gets so into it, he turns it into a big chorus number with dancers. Dracula complains (with the help of the dancers again) that he has the "Eternity Blues" spending it with his nagging wife. Pickett reprises his own "Monster Mash" to describe what happens when Frankenstein dreams of receiving a Nobel Prize, once again with the dancers joining in.

Trivia: Apparently, a lot was changed from the stage show; three characters were dropped, two songs and "Monster Mash" were added, and the script was re-written to modernize it and add topical references.

What I Don't Like: Did I mention the "low-rent" thing? It's all pretty silly, even for a horror comedy, and campy as heck. The kids are stiff and dull; their duet was one of the new songs added for the film, and it's even more boring than them. The effects and makeup, especially the Frankenstein mask, are painfully cheap. It looks and sounds more like a high school performance of Bridge Is Out than an indie from the 90's. And for all the talk about Wolfie's transformation, he just turns into a regular dog and doesn't really have that much to do. 

The Big Finale: Cute time-waster on Halloween week for families with elementary school-age horror fans who might get a kick out of the monster references. 

Home Media: To my knowledge, at the moment, this rarity can only be found on YouTube. 

YouTube

Cult Flops - Repo! The Genetic Opera

Lionsgate, 2008

Starring Anthony Head, Alex Vega, Paul Sorvino, and Sarah Brightman

Directed by Darren Lynn Bouseman

Music and Lyrics by Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich 

This seems to be the month for really bizarre musicals...but I think I finally found one of the strangest musicals ever created. Some of you won't be surprised to hear it comes from the same writers and crew as the equally strange The Devil's Carnival and Alleujah! The Devil's Carnival, which I reviewed last year. Let's trade a not-so-heavenly theme park for a sci-fi dystopia that makes The Hunger Games films look cheerful and see just how weird a rock opera can get...

The Story: It's the year 2056, and an epidemic of organ failures spreads across the Earth. GeneCo, the world's largest corporation, provides organ transplants for desperate people on a payment plan. Those who miss the payments are hunted down by "Repo Men" who repossess the organs. Among those men are Nathan Wallace (Head), who is trying to shield his daughter Shiloh (Vega) from the terrors of the outside world. He's told the girl she has a genetic illness like her late mother, but she's desperate to see the outside world. Rotti Largo (Sorvino), the head of GeneCo, lures the girl into his clutches in the hope that she'll take over his empire in the place of his three spoiled children. Meanwhile, Nathan, unable to kill Magdalene (Brightman), a friend of his wife's who has Geneco eyes, is now pursued by Rotti's men...and he'll do anything to keep Rotti from harming anyone else he loves.

The Song and Dance: Hoo boy. Well, you can't say this one isn't unique. Science fiction stories about evil corporations controlling bleak futures have become rather popular over the past 30-40 years or so, but this is the first time I've seen one such story done as a rock opera. The bombastic style is very much in line with the European rock operas of the 80's and early 90's, closer to what Stage Fright attempted to parody. Sorvino and Head take top honors as the nasty corporate exec and the lackey with the tragic backstory, but Vega isn't bad as the sheltered daughter, and even Paris Hilton, of all people, works out better than you might think as Rotti's surgery-obsessed youngest child. 

Also love the opening and closing sequences, drawn in the style of fairly realistic comic book panels as the Grave Robber (Terrance Zdunich) explains about the genetic failures and what happens after Rotti dies and Shiloh flees.

Favorite Number: We're introduced to Shiloh as she and the Grave Robber search for a "21st Century Cure" for her condition. She admits she's tired of being "Infected" after her father reminds her why she has to stay at home. Nathan sings of his nasty job being a "Legal Assassin" with the help of a ghostly chorus. Mag explains "The Tao of Mag" to show why she needed those eyes. Shiloh angrily sings to her father why it's tough being "Seventeen" when you have few choices in life, but it's worse being an adult who doesn't understand. "At the Opera Tonight" brings together most of the cast as they prepare for a big GeneCo variety show. In the end, when Nathan's shot and almost gone, father and daughter admit "I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much."

What I Didn't Like: Did I mention how weird and depressing this movie is? Weird, loud, and even bloodier than Smith's Devil's Carnival and Saw movies. If you don't love rock opera, bloody horror, flashy in-your-face musicals, or stories about ultra-pitch-black futures, this is absolutely not the movie for you. The heavy violence, swearing, skimpy costumes, and sexual references makes this absolutely, positively not for children, too. 

The Big Finale: There's few musicals out there quite like this one. Worth checking out at least once if you're a fan of bleak sci-fi, really bloody horror, or other recent flashy musical extravaganzas like Moulin Rouge. 

Home Media: Easily found in all major formats. Tubi currently streams it for free. 

DVD

Blu-Ray

Tubi

Family Fun Saturday - Muppets Haunted Mansion

Disney, 2021

Starring The Muppets, Will Arnett, Darren Criss, and Tarji P. Henson

Directed by Kirk Thatcher

Music by Ed Mitchell & Steve Morell; Lyrics by Kirk Thatcher, Bill Baretta, and Kelly Younger

The idea of the Muppets doing a Halloween special goes back a long way. It was originally announced in the early 90's as the first in a series of holiday TV specials. That eventually evolved into the short-lived show Muppets Tonight in 1996. There was a second attempt in 2009, but it was ultimately scrapped to focus on the 2011 movie. Disney finally found a way to get the Muppets into horror around 2020 - corporate synergy. How well do the Muppets combine with the "Grim Grinning Ghosts" of one of the most venerable dark rides at the Disney Parks, the Haunted Mansion? Let's start on a dark and stormy road as Gonzo and Pepe the Prawn take a ride to one of the spookiest houses ever and find out...

The Story: Gonzo (Dave Goelz) and Pepe the Prawn (Bill Baretta) duck out of the Muppets' annual Halloween party in order to spend a night facing their fears in a mansion once owned by Gonzo's idol, The Great MacGuffin. The caretaker (Criss) they meet in the cemetery outside the mansion's gates insists they won't make the night. Pepe, who is terrified of all the ghosts, singing pig-faced crystal balls, and staring busts they encounter, wonders if he's right. He feels a lot better when he encounters the beautiful bride Constance Hatchaway (Henson) and immediately falls for her...but there's six ghosts in the room with a warning about her sudden odd attraction to crustaceans. Gonzo, however, is determined to follow the Ghost Host (Arnett) and find out just what there is to be afraid of in Room 999.

The Song and Dance: If you know anything about the Muppets' recent endeavors or the ride this is based on, you'll have a scary good time with this one. Baretta and Henson are especially funny in their big tango number as Constance desperately attempts to make Pepe her next victim, and Arnett's having a blast as the mysterious man who knows more about the Mansion and its occupants than he'll admit. There's some decent special effects, too, especially with Piggy in the crystal ball and at the dinner with all of the Muppets as "Happy Ghosts." Look for cameos by not only various Muppets, but some of those "grim grinning ghosts" from the theme park ride, too. 

Favorite Number:  Criss and several Muppet ghosts and busts perform "Rest In Peace" (and part of the original theme "Grim Grinning Ghosts") as they introduce Gonzo and Pepe to the Mansion and try to warn them away. Constance lures Pepe in with the "Tie the Knot Tango" as her previous husbands (including Walter from the Disney Muppets films) remember how she did the same to them, then did them in. The Electric Mayhem begin and end the film with the 70's rock hit "Dancing In the Moonlight," the latter version with the cast and Muppets joining in. 

Trivia: One of Ed Asner's last appearances before his death in August 2021. The special is dedicated to him.

What I Don't Like: First of all, there's a lot of complaints out there - as there are about any Muppet project made after Jim Henson's death in 1989 - about the current Muppet voices not sounding like or being as good as the originals. I'm more concerned with message about facing your fears being pushed a bit too hard. It comes off as overdone and cliched, especially in the second half after Gonzo and Pepe separate. 

The Big Finale: The complaints about the voices aside, if you or your kids love mildly spooky horror or are fans of the more recent Muppet ventures, you'll want to jump in a car with Staler and Waldorf and enjoy the ride. 

Home Media: Currently a Disney Plus exclusive.

Disney Plus

Cult Flops - Stage Fright (2014)

Entertainment One, 2014

Starring Allie MacDonald, Meat Loaf Aday, Douglas Smith, and Kent Nolan

Directed by Jerome Sable

Music and Lyrics by Jerome Sable and Eli Batalion

Let's get out of the camp-fest and into a literal camp...and something a lot scarier than a rock and roll vampire. This Canadian satire of The Phantom of the Opera and 80's slasher films may be the first and only attempt to cross operetta with the teen horror genre. Anyone who saw the 2004 Phantom knows that it already has it's fair share of problems, and this one doesn't improve things a lot. How far does this weird north-of-the-border genre slash-up look now? Let's begin on Broadway, as diva Kylie Swanson (Minnie Driver) begins her final run in The Haunting of the Opera, and find out...

The Story: Kylie is murdered backstage after the show by someone wearing the mask of the show's villain, Opera Ghost. Ten years later, her traumatized daughter Camilla (MacDonald) and son Buddy (Smith) work in the kitchen at their guardian Roger's (Meat Loaf) theatrical camp. The campers are all thrilled when Roger announces they'll be doing a Japanese kabuki theater version of Haunting...except Buddy, who hates musical theater after his mother's death. Camilla auditions and begs Roger to her mother's lead role of Sophia. He protests, but the show's ambitious director Artie (Brandon Uranowitz) is impressed and convinces Roger to let her play the role, to the disgust of Liz Silver (Melanie Leishman), who usually plays the leads. 

Artie gets Camilla to make love with him to keep her role. She goes along with it at first, but can't make herself go all the way. Joel (Kent Nolan) tries to warn everyone about there being a killer loose, but they go on with the show anyway. Roger's called a Broadway scout, and he's desperate for the money. Camilla thinks she's going to do her mother proud...but the Metal Killer is very real, and he'd rather do her, Roger, and everyone in the camp in. 

The Song and Dance: I do give the movie some credit for running with its goofy premise. It's not often you see slasher films done as operetta backstagers with a little heavy metal thrown in. Real-life musical fans and theater geeks like me will notice tons of references to other genre tropes, cliches, shows, and songwriters like Stephen Sondheim, and slasher nuts will get a kick out of nods to everything from Friday the 13th to Hellraiser. Meat Loaf makes the most of his limited role as the camp's owner who is bound and determined to put on this seemingly cursed show and impress that Broadway agent. 

Favorite Number: Kylie and her daughter sing sweetly that "Everything Is Wonderful" backstage at The Haunting of the Opera, when of course, it's anything but. This becomes little Camilla's "Dance of Death" as she imagines herself performing her mother's role onstage, even as she's being done in. Cut to 10 years later, and the theater geeks who look forward to camp sing about why it's "Where We Belong." Liz admonishes her rival and her boyfriend to sing "Like You Mean It" during rehearsals. "Enter Metal Killer" when Alfie dies and hears a screeching heavy metal riff that attacks him...and everything musicals stand for. After Alfie's death, Roger rouses the teens by reminding them that "The Show Must Carry On." 

What I Don't Like: This is way too obvious to be a spoof of horror, heavy metal, or operetta. None of the kids have voices appropriate for the rather dull material, and most of them are so stiff and silly, they make the teens in non-musical slasher flicks look like geniuses. They focus a lot more on the music than the horror; while we do get blood and gore, the really scary stuff doesn't kick in until half-way through. They could have further explored the similarities between the grand melodrama of 80's Andrew Lloyd Webber extravaganzas and 80's hair metal, but didn't even scrape the surface. There's times the theater geeks are treated very condescendingly too, especially during that "Where We Belong" number. And anyone who listens to the kids for five minutes and hears who loves musicals and who doesn't will guess the identity of the killer way before Camilla does. 

The Big Finale: This is a little too bloody and badly-written for me, but if you're a bigger fan of slasher movies or horror satire than I am, this might be worth dodging killers at camp to check out at least once. 

Home Media: Cheap and easy to find on every format; many platforms stream it for free.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - Rockula

The Cannon Group, 1990

Starring Dean Cameron, Toni Basil, Thomas Dolby, and Tawny Fere

Directed by Luca Bercovici

Music and Lyrics by various

We kick off this year's Halloween horror reviews with a true cheese-fest. Fans of this blog know I have a soft spot for B film specialists The Cannon Group's charming low-budget fairy tales and their one-of-a-kind Biblical disco allegory The Apple. By the time Rockula filmed in 1988, the company was rocked by a series of over-hyped box-office disasters was facing bankruptcy. Thanks to the chaos, the movie was shelved, then barely released and dumped onto an uninterested video market in 1990. Did it deserve that fate, or should this everyday vampire finally be released from the curse of its troubled production? Let's begin at home with Ralph (Cameron) as he bemoans his own fate and find out...

The Story: Ralph looks like an ordinary twenty-something guy, but he's really a 400-year-old vampire under a terrible curse. His true love Mona (Fere) was killed by her jealous boyfriend, a pirate with a rhinestone peg leg and hambone, before Ralph could come to her rescue. Every 22nd Halloween since then, he meets Mona, only to lose her again. He's fed up with the whole thing and intends to sit this Halloween out in his room...before he's hit by a car driven by the current Mona. 

He's fine, thanks to being a vampire, and immediately tells her to stay away. Changing his mind after a bad dream, he goes to see her sing with her band. They hit it off, to the frustration of her ex-boyfriend, moratory owner Stanley (Dolby). He tells her he's in a band when she asks what he does. Turns out he is a musician and sets up a band with his barfly buddies he calls Rockula. They're a hit, allowing Ralph to finally revel in what he is. Even Mona notices him differently. His mother isn't as happy with her little boy walking out and plays psychic for a jealous Stanley, encouraging him to "rescue" his love from her cursed vampire sweetheart for the last time.

The Song and Dance: This may be one of the most 80's musicals in existence. It weirdly reminds me of another very 80's cult musical, Streets of Fire, with a lot of the same neon-in-the-rain, black leather rock tough guy aesthetics. It has somewhat similar characters, even down to Chuck, the woman bartender with the mannish name (Susan Tyrell). The difference is, this one is played 100 percent for comedy. It's almost like a spoof. Dancer and choreographer Basil is definitely having the most fun as the protective mother with the odd 40's Technicolor-meets-80's video wardrobe.

Favorite Number: "Break These Chains" is the first major number and Ralph's big dream sequence. He imagines himself at Mona's concert, trapped into seeing her die again when pirates invade onstage. Mona begs "Turn Me Loose" at the actual concert, before Ralph tells her what he really is. "Rapula," Rockula's second concert number, spoofs the funky neon-and-bling look of very early hip-hop. Mona and Ralph are "By My Side" in their music video as three urchins bring them together at a carnival with lots of dramatic fades in the rain. "The Night" is Basil's big number, a dance and song in a stripper-style black and white costume in front of Mona that scares her silly and must be seen to be believed.

Trivia: Yes, that is blues master Bo Diddley as one of the bar musicians who eventually joins Rockula.

What I Don't Like: Far more than the fairy tales or The Apple, this one really shows its B origins in the cardboard production and costumes. It looks and sounds like something my sisters and I made up to amuse each other around Halloween in the late 80's. This may be one of the biggest cheese-fests in a decade that reveled in them. No wonder they didn't know what to make of it in 1990. Ralph is an obnoxious whiner who shows none of the charm Cameron displayed in Ferris Buller's Day Off and Summer School, and Fere is so uninteresting, you wonder why Ralph keeps coming to her rescue. Ralph's talking reflection, who likely stands in for the horny best friend in most other 80's comedies, is so annoying and pushy, you wish he'd start breaking mirrors. 

The Big Finale: This does seem to have picked up a cult following recently who find it adorably cheesy, but I think it's more annoying and cheap than anything. Unless you're a really huge fan of Cameron, Basil, or horror comedies from the 80's and early 90's, I'd pass by this blood sucker. 

Home Media: Never on DVD and out of print on video, it was finally released on Blu-Ray by Shout Factory in 2018 and can be found on streaming.

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime 

Everybody's Talking About Jamie

Amazon, 2021

Starring Max Harwood, Sarah Lancashire, Lauren Patel, and Richard E. Grant

Directed by Johnathan Butterell

Music by Tom MacRae; Lyrics by Dan Gillespie Sells

I'm back from vacation with one last recent release before I begin this year's horror reviews. This is another stage adaptation with a long road to the screen. 20th Century Fox was originally supposed to put it out last October, but first they were bought out by Disney, then the pandemic hit. Disney kept pushing it further and further back, until they canceled the release. Amazon picked it up and finally released it as a Prime exclusive last month. What was it about this story of a gay teen who dreams of becoming a drag queen that makes it so controversial? Let's begin on a rainy day in Sheffield, England, where Jamie New (Harwood) is about to turn 16, and find out...

The Story: Shy Jamie wants more than anything to become a glamorous drag queen. His mother Margaret (Lancashire) and Muslim best friend Pritti (Patel) support his dream, but many of the kids at school make fun of him, and his macho father Wayne (Ralph Ineson) doesn't understand. Nor does his teacher Miss Hedge (Sharon Horgen), who wants her students to take on practical careers that will get them far in the future. He joins a drag club, where the owner, former drag queen Hugo Battersby (Grant), makes him over in the fabulous Mimi Me. He feels comfortable as Mimi...but his flamboyant new persona is making a few too many waves at school and at home. His principal (Adeel Akhatar) threatens to cancel the prom if he shows up in a dress...but if Jamie doesn't, he feels he'll lose a part of himself.

The Song and Dance: This is a very sweet and touching movie about accepting who you are, finding your family, and the difference between breaking barriers and being arrogant about it. The kids are revelations here, especially Harwood as Jamie and Patel as the smart girl who is as ostracized for her religion as Jamie is for his sexuality. I also like Lancashire as Jamie's mom, who encourages her son, even as she tries to shield him from the reality that his father hates what he is. As with Rocketman, another biographical musical about a gay performer discovering himself, the numbers do a wonderful job switching between the very gloomy and real Sheffield and the rainbow and glitter numbers.

Favorite Number: "Don't Even Know It" is Jamie's daydream in class, as he imagines becoming a fabulous drag queen despite his teacher's admonishment that he should look for a more sensible job. He recalls how he and his father's relationship fractured over the years as he became more and more feminine and created a "Wall In My Head." Pritti encourages him to reach for the "Spotlight" when they're chatting at home. Hugo recalls his days as ferocious drag queen Loco Channelle before AIDS cut a wide swatch through the gay community in the early 90's in the sad and touching "This Was Me." The drag queens at the club Legs Eleven make Jamie over into the "Over the Top" drag queen Mimi Me, encouraging him to exaggerate his every movement. 

"Everybody's Talkin' About Jamie" at school, from the girls to the boys dribbling basketballs. Pritti explains to Jamie after he finds out the truth about his father that "It Means Beautiful," and she likes him and his name just the way they are. Margaret admits that "He's My Boy," even when he's driving her crazy, and they reveal the depth of their caring relationship in "My Man, My Boy." Jamie finally steps out as who he really is - and encourages the rest of the school to do the same - taking them "Out of the Darkness (A Place Where We Belong)." 

Trivia: Original stage Jamie John McCrea plays the younger Loco Channelle. 

The stage show debuted in Sheffield in February 2017, but it was such a success that it transferred to the West End that November for a four year run, with time off for the pandemic from March to December 2020. 

What I Don't Like: I actually would have liked to see them do more with the father; we hear about him, but barely see him. His departure obviously had a big impact on his son's life, but we don't really get too much of it beyond "Wall In My Head." The uplifting story can come off as a bit cliched, and possibly nothing you've seen in other musical biographies going as far back as the 30's. 

The Big Finale: Touching and joyous, this is a lovely film for not only gay audiences, but anyone who ever felt like an outsider. 

Home Media: As mentioned, at the moment, it's an Amazon Prime exclusive.

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - I Love Melvin

MGM, 1953

Starring Debbie Reynolds, Donald O'Connor, Richard Anderson, and Una Merkel

Directed by Don Weis

Music by Josef Myrow; Lyrics by Mack Gordon

First of all, Musical Dreams Movie Reviews is going on hiatus for vacation from the 13th through the 18th. Regular reviews will resume Tuesday the 19th. 

While Singin' In the Rain wasn't a runaway success, it did well enough to make Reynolds a star and give O'Connor some cachet outside of the Francis the Talking Mule film series. MGM rushed them into another Technicolor romp, this time a smaller-scale romantic comedy with a couple of good dance numbers. How do they do without Gene Kelly? We begin with a musical number in the mind of Hollywood-obsessed Judy Schneider (Reynolds) and find out...

The Story: Judy would do anything to become a movie star, but for now, she's a dancing football in a Broadway show. She literally runs into Melvin Hoover (O'Connor) in the park. He's more focused on his job as a photographer's assistant for Look Magazine, until he sees her in the show and catches her after a botched throw. He's smitten and offers to get her a spread in Look. They fall for each other, but her father Frank (Allyn Joslyn) wants her to marry wealthy but dull Harry Flack (Anderson). Judy does love Melvin, but her main interest is still a movie career. When Frank pushes Harry harder at his daughter, Melvin says he can get Judy on the cover of Look, and even makes a mock-up of it. Judy buys the story...and now everyone thinks she'll be on the cover.

The Song and Dance: O'Connor and Reynolds run with this one, vivacious and energetic together and in their solo numbers. I also give credit for a fairly unique story; it's not as offbeat as Where Do We Go From Here, but it's not your typical backstage plot or teen romance, either. It's just a small, sweet romance between two young people who dream of being far more than they are. Darling Noreen Corocan steals every scene she's in as Judy's adorable younger sister. Look for Robert Taylor in a cameo during Judy's first dream sequence. 

Favorite Number: We open with that dream sequence, "A Lady Loves to Love." She imagines herself as a sophisticated socialite dancing with the top-hat-and-cane bearing "gentlemen of the press" in a fancy feathered outfit and sparkling jewels. Melvin and Judy sing how "We Have Never Met Yet," but are each looking for someone like the other and have many similar hopes and dreams. "Saturday Afternoon at the Game" is the big Broadway football chorus number. It's a spoof of similar sports-themed musicals, with tap dancing quarterbacks tossing Reynolds in the air like a pigskin. 

Corocan explains to a depressed O'Connor that "Life Has Its Funny Little Ups and Downs" before he shows off for her in a roller skating number somewhat similar to Kelly's in It's Always Fair Weather. O'Connor realizes that "I Wanna Wander" and have fun with the props at Look Magazine in his other big solo. He wonders "Where Did You Learn to Dance?" in his big duet with Reynolds.

Trivia: There was originally a second "Lady Loves" number. Melvin "directed" his version, with Judy as an unusually glamorous farmer's wife in a more rural setting. It was cut from the movie, but exists in full and was used in That's Entertainment III. 

Apparently, Howard Keel was to have been the cameo in Judy's dream sequence, complete with a song, but was cut and replaced with Taylor.

What I Don't Like: This isn't one of MGM's elaborate extravaganzas. It's a small-scale romance that's almost sitcom-ish in feel despite Judy's acting aspirations. The specific references to real-life photo-magazine Look and Frank's attitude toward his daughter's marriage makes the story a bit dated. And while the dance routines are fairly memorable, the music itself is pedestrian. Judy's other big fantasy is a dance routine with men dressed as Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly, and the masks and imitations are a lot more creepy than fantastic. Some of O'Connor's racial caricatures in the "Wander" number border on the stereotypical and may offend many folks today.  

The Big Finale: If you love O'Connor or Reynolds or are looking for a smaller-scale musical, you'll want to give this adorable charmer a cover shot. 

Home Media: On DVD and streaming, the former from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Happy Columbus Day! - Where Do We Go from Here?

20th Century Fox, 1945

Starring Fred MacMurray, June Haver, Joan Leslie, and Gene Sheldon

Directed by Gregory Ratoff

Music by Kurt Weill; Lyrics by Ira Gershwin

First of all, Musical Dreams Movie Reviews will be on hiatus for vacation from October 13th through October 18th. Regular reviews will resume the 19th...which is why you'll be getting an extra review this week to make up for it. 

German songwriter Kurt Weill didn't have much luck in Hollywood. His three major hits of the late 30's and early 40's - Lady In the Dark, One Touch of Venus, and Knickerbocker Holiday - came to the screen without most of his music. Still determined to go Hollywood, Weill joined Ira Gershwin (who worked with him on Lady In the Dark) and screenwriter Morrie Ryskind to create this one-of-a-kind wartime fantasy. Let's head to a USO canteen in the Bronx to find out just how unique this World War II fairy tale is...

The Story: Bill Morgan (MacMurray) wants to be a soldier to impress USO hostess Lucilla Powell (Haver), but he's been rejected by every branch. He find a genie (Sheldon) in a bottle left at a scrap drive who gives him three wishes. He wishes to be in the army...and lands in the American Army at Valley Forge. George Washington (Alan Mowbray) recruits him as a spy, but he's almost shot by the Germans as a traitor. His request to be in the Navy takes him to Columbus (Fortunio Bonanova), whose crew he convinces not to mutiny. He heads to New York, only to buy Manhattan from an enterprising Native chief (Anthony Quinn). The Dutch residents don't believe him and toss him in jail. If he can't stop the ancestor of his sweetheart Sally (Leslie) from getting married and do a prison break fast, he may never be born or join the Armed Forces! 

The Song and Dance: I give these folks credit for attempting something totally different. There's no other musical out there quite like this one. MacMurray does better than you might think as the poor guy whose desire to fight for his country and impress a pretty girl lands him in some sticky situations. Look for Herman Bing as the German officer who leads the "Rhineland" number and the local farmer Katrina is to marry in the Dutch sequence. The Technicolor costumes and settings still look pretty decent too, occasionally a bit saturated due to a different Technicolor stock, but not that bad. 

Favorite Number: Bill wonders how "All at Once" a guy like him could love a vivacious girl like Lucilla as he trips and tumbles amid piles of dirty dishes in the USO kitchen. Lucilla and the hostesses do a big chorus number at the USO to raise "Morale" for the soldiers. While Bill yammers on about all the wonderful things that will be discovered in the future, Sally's ancestor Prudence and the chorus at Valley Forge think the important thing is what happens "If Love Remains." Lucilla's ancestor Gretchen leads the German soldiers through the rousing "Song of the Rhineland" at the beer hall. 

The big one here is that operatic sequence. "The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria" has Columbus arguing with his crew over whether the world is round or not, and Bill convincing them that finding pretty girls at Cuba is more important than mutiny. 

Trivia: There was a fourth historical sequence set in the Wild West with Roy Rogers, but it was apparently cut, along with a musical number for the Native/Manhattan Island segment. 

MacMurray went on to marry June Haver in the early 50's. 

What I Don't Like: Yeah, this is one bizarre musical. A genie helps a guy out by making him a soldier throughout American history? Talk about strange. Like its hapless hero, it never seems to have found it's place or its audience. It's an ultra-patriotic wartime romp...released just a few weeks after the Germans surrendered and the war in Europe ended. Weill's music isn't nearly as memorable as his trio of 40's stage hits, and Haver and Leslie come off as bland and interchangeable in dull roles. 

The Big Finale: This is another one people seem to either think is a lost gem, or just don't quite understand. If you love MacMurray, Weill's other work, or wartime musicals, it's worth checking out at least once for the novelty factor alone. 

Home Media: Never available on video, it finally debuted via the 20th Century Cinema Archives made-on-demand DVD collection in 2012. 

DVD

Animation Celebration Saturday - The Phantom Tollbooth

MGM, 1970

Voices of Butch Patrick, Daws Butler, Mel Blanc, and Larry Thor

Directed by Chuck Jones, Abe Levitow, and Dave Monahan

Music by Lee Pockriss; Lyrics by Norman Gimbel, Norman L. Martin, and Paul Vance

Chuck Jones moved to MGM in 1963 and took over making their Tom & Jerry shorts. He read the Norman Juster book The Dot & the Line and adapted it into an Oscar-winning short. With that success, MGM decided to give another Juster work a shot, this time as a feature-length film. Juster's fantasy novel The Phantom Tollbooth debuted to great acclaim in 1961. MGM picked it up for a feature in 1966; it was completed in 1968, though thanks to MGM's troubled finances, it didn't make it out until two years later. Was it worth the effort, or should this animation/live action hybrid be stuck in the doldrums? Let's begin with Milo (Patrick) in live-action as he strolls through San Francisco, bored and not much interested in anything...but that will change with a gift when he gets home...

The Story: Milo finds a large box in his bedroom. Pulling the tab turns it into a toll booth. He drives through it in his toy car and finds himself in animation. Once he gets used to the change, he finds himself in the Kingdom of Wisdom. Thanks to a rift between the King of Words (Hans Conried) and the Wizard of Mathematics (Conried), the kingdom was split into Dictionopolis and Digitopolis. Milo and his friends Tock the Watchdog (Thor) and The Humbug (Les Tremayne) have to rescue the Princesses of Pure Reason (June Foray) and Sweet Rhyme (Patti Gilbert) from the Castle in the Air and return sense and sanity to Wisdom and its wacky citizens.

The Animation: If you've ever seen Jones' Tom & Jerry shorts or some of his other work in the late 60's, you have an idea of what this is like. Limited and sketchy, but with Jones' trademarked expressive faces (especially eyebrows) and wide eyes, and some absolutely glorious color effects and designs when Chroma does his work and they find the Princesses. 

The Song and Dance: Thor takes top honors as the ever-ticking dog who keeps Milo on track and Conried as the two stubborn rulers who are more alike than they want to believe. It's in the same vein as Wizard of Oz or Alice In Wonderland with a kid wandering through a strange, nonsensical world filled with eccentric characters; there's even witches and princesses. Here, the emphasis is on education, learning, and developing our curiosity to stay out of those sticky doldrums. 

Favorite Number: The chorus opens and closes the film with "Milo's Song" in the live-action sequences, as they encourage the boy to enjoy life to the fullest. "Don't Say There's Nothing To Do In the Doldrums" when Milo's kicking back there with the Lethargics (Thurl Ravenscroft), sticky critters who keep his car trapped and not thinking. Tock reminds him as they travel across the countryside that "Time Is a Gift," and he shouldn't waste it. Dr. Kakafonus A. Dischord (Cliff Norton) revels in "Noise, Noise, Beautiful Noise" as he creates the loudest sounds he possibly can for Tock and Milo in his cart. 

What I Don't Like: The educational aspect is sometimes pushed a little too hard, especially towards the end when Milo's battling the demons. It can really feel preachy at times. Other times, the animation and familiar voice artists makes it feel like a slightly more pretentious Saturday morning cartoon of the late 60's-early 70's stretched to feature length. The songs aren't terribly distinguished, either. 

The Big Finale: Worth checking out of you're a fan of Jones and his work, if you or your kids have read the book, or if you have fond memories of seeing it on cable or during children's matinées.

Home Media: Easy to find on DVD and streaming, the former from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - About Face

Warner Bros, 1952

Starring Gordon MacRae, Eddie Bracken, Dick Wesson, and Virginia Gibson

Directed by Roy Del Ruth

Music by Pete De Rose; Lyrics by Charles Tobias

Other musicals from the 50's took a more upbeat look at friendship in the military. This one is a remake of an earlier 1938 non-musical Warners comedy Brother Rat, about three close military school buddies who vouch for each other when the wife of one is about to have a baby. It ups the slapstick quotient with goofy gags and lets Bracken go wild as the expectant father. How do all these hijinks look today? Let's start at Southern Military Institute (based after the real Virginia Military Institute) with those three pals and find out...

The Story: Tony Williams (MacRae), Dave Crouse (Wesson), and Biff Roberts (Bracken) are the best of friends at Southern, and Biff is the star pitcher on the baseball team. Dave happily flirts with new co-ed on campus Betty (Gibson), who isn't what she claims to be. Tony is more interested in her southern belle friend Lorna (Aileen Stanley Jr.). He keeps playing pranks on her supposed boyfriend, rigid Lieutenant Jones (Cliff Ferre). Meanwhile, Biff has bigger problems when his secret wife Alice (Phyllis Kirk) announces she's about to have a baby and he has to pass chemistry to stay in school. 

The Song and Dance: The cute plot plays more like the ancestor of "slobs prank the snobs" comedies of the 1980's or a musical Police Academy with a military bent than a typical musical of this era. Though the ladies provide romance, the real focus is on Biff, Dave, and Tony and their close relationship with each other and Bender (a very young Joel Gray), the underclassman they've taken under their wings. I also appreciate that the ladies are no dopes, either. Betty's the one who tutors Biff in chemistry, and it's her idea to pass as a student and find a guy who will love her for who she is. 

Favorite Number: We open with the "Revile" as we get an example of the kind of drills the cadets attend on a regular basis. The boys and the girls get together for a trio with "Bass, Piano, and Drums," but they're caught by Jones before the girls can flee. Dave and Betty dance around a bench as he tells her about school traditions, and they happily sing about how "Spring Has Sprung." Dave and Tony tease Biff by telling him that "They Haven't Lost a Father Yet." Gray gets top honors in the manic "I'm Nobody" danced around the chemistry classroom, messing with chemicals and doing imitations of Jerry Lewis as he shows a glimpse of the nutty talent that would fully blossom in the 60's and 70's onstage. We end with MacRae singing "No Other Girl For Me" as the entire campus attends the Cotillion and dances the night away, including Ferre in an amazing tap solo in the end. 

Trivia: Joel Gray's film debut.

What I Don't Like: This might actually be a little too goofy, even for a military comedy. Bracken overdoes it, mugging outrageously as the expectant father whose mind is on that and nothing else. Gray and Gibson are the only ones who actually look young enough for military school. Everyone else is way, way too old, especially Bracken. Though we have some ok numbers, the only really memorable song is Gray's. Everything else is pretty dull. 

The Big Finale: Fun way to spend an hour-and-a-half if you're a fan of Gray or musical films of the 50's; otherwise nothing you need to go out of your way for. 

Home Media: Warners Archive DVD is out of print; you're probably better off streaming this one or looking for it on TCM. 

DVD

Amazon Prime

Cult Flops - It's Always Fair Weather

MGM, 1955

Starring Gene Kelly, Cyd Charisse, Dan Dailey, and Michael Kidd

Directed by Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen

Music by Andre Previn; Lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green

This began life as Comden and Green's sequel to the 1949 hit On the Town. When Kelly's co-stars from that film Jules Munshin and Frank Sinatra proved to be unavailable, they changed the story to focus on three unrelated best friends during World War II who meet again ten years later. Donen wasn't happy to work with Kelly again; in fact, their friendship fractured during the making of this film. They weren't the only ones with problems, either. How problematic was this unusually dark musical? Let's turn back the clock and start at a bar in New York, just as World War II ends, and see three former soldiers begin a friendship they think is forever...

The Story: Angie Valentine (Kidd), Ted Reilly (Kelly), and Doug Hallerton (Dailey) have big dreams for their futures after they're released from the Army. Angie wants to become a celebrated chef, Ted a lawyer, and Doug an artist. They vow to meet again at the same bar 10 years later, despite Tim the bartender (David Burns) claiming it won't last.

Each man goes their separate ways, but their lives don't become anything like they hoped. Doug goes into the high-paid world of advertising, but he hates his job creating copy for a cutesy campaign and his marriage is crumbling. Angie loves his wife and huge family, but wishes he ran more than a diner. Ted's a shady gambler who wins a corrupt prize fighter in a poker game. When they meet again in 1955, they learn they have nothing in common and hate each other.

That might have been that, if Doug's fellow advertising executive Jackie Leighton (Charisse) hadn't found out about their reunion. She thinks their story is perfect for Madeline Bradville (Dolores Gray), a singer with a popular late-night TV show specializing in guests with heart-tugging histories. The guys aren't sure at first...but they later discover that the reunion has changed their lives, and their perception of who they really want to be.

The Song and Dance: You've probably already noticed from the plot description, but despite the upbeat musical numbers and sunny title, this is not your typical MGM musical. I don't know too many other musicals that realistically explore how hard it can be to maintain a friendship, why friends grow apart, and how connecting with others can help us find ourselves. Though Kelly's good in the role of the heel who realizes he can be something better, the real stand-outs are Dailey as the artist who gave up his dreams for a soulless executive job and Dolores Gray as the temperamental TV diva whose toothpaste smile hides a selfish heart. 

Favorite Number: "The Binge" is the famous instrumental number set after they join a rejected Ted in getting drunk all over New York. They're so gone, they tap dance in an alley with trash can lids on their feet. "I Shouldn't Have Come Here" is the guys' number at the fancy restaurant where Doug takes the others on his expense account. They sing their frustrations and their opinions of what the others have become in a rant set to "The Blue Danube Waltz." 

Charisse joins a gaggle of punch-drunk fighters at Stillman's Gym as she relates her encyclopedic knowledge of boxing and shows off her great gams in "Baby You Knock Me Out." The trio do a triple split-screen tap routine that makes great use of the CinemaScope camera in "Once Upon a Time." Ted realizes that "I Like Myself" in Kelly's last great solo number, a virtuoso tap dance on roller skates through the streets of New York. "Situation-wise" is Dailey's big number, as he gets drunk at a company party and reveals what he hates about his job. Gray reveals her true material girl nature as she tells a group of fawning young men "Thanks a Lot, But No Thanks" and finds creative ways to get rid of them. 

Trivia: Gene Kelly bought the roller skates used in "I Like Myself" at a store down the street from his home in Los Angeles. They were ordinary skates that weren't altered for the number, making his dancing there all the more extraordinary. 

Three numbers - a solo for Kidd and his children at the diner, "Jack and the Space Giants," a comic duet for Kelly and Charisse, "Love Is Nothing But a Racket," and "I Never Thought They'd Leave" for Gray - were cut from the film. Footage of the first two, along with more of "The Binge," have been found and is included on the DVD, along with the audio for "Leave."

Gray's character, her show, and the "Thanks a Lot" number spoofed the cheery excesses of TV during the pioneering 50's, especially The Dinah Shore Show and the sob story game shows Queen for a Day and Strike It Rich. 

What I Don't Like: First and foremost, this is obviously not for you if you're looking for a more upbeat or optimistic romp through New York. It's as dark as the MGM musical was willing to go in 1955. I wish they'd made better use of choreographer Kidd...but this was his first acting job in the movies, and he's so stiff in what little dialogue he does have, maybe it's just as well. They at least should have kept Kelly and Charisse's comic duet in. The romance between the two feels perfunctory and there just because musicals were still required to have a romantic subplot then. It doesn't help that Dailey, Kelly, and Kidd lack the chemistry of Kelly, Sinatra, and Munshin. They're more believable as fracturing strangers than the best buddies they claim to be in the opening sequences. 

The Big Finale: Too mature and thoughtful for its time and for many audiences even today, this odd hybrid of sunniness and cynicism is worth checking out for the amazing dance routines alone. 

Home Media: Easily found on disc and streaming, the former from the Warner Archives.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Family Fun Saturday - Cinderella (2021)

Sony/Amazon, 2021

Starring Camilla Cabello, Idina Menzel, Nicholas Galitzine, and Billy Porter

Directed by Kay Cannon

Music and Lyrics by various

The Cinderella fairy tale goes back thousands of years and has been told in dozens of variations across the globe. It remains one of the most adapted stories in every media, including film. In the 1920's, inspired by the success of the show Sally, there was a wave of modern Cinderella stories, where shop girls and waitresses married the rich Long Island boy of their dreams and became a musical star. While this version returns to the original French fairy tale setting, the songs and dreams of the title character are both very modern...and harken back to those Broadway dreamers who hoped to become stars. How much does it differ from other versions? Let's start in the main town square as the townspeople go about their day...to the tune of "Rhythm Nation"... and find out...

The Story: Cinderella (Cabello) lives outside of town with her nasty stepmother Vivian (Menzel) and her two daughters. Ella wants nothing more than to own a dress shop and sell her creations, but women aren't encouraged to do anything in the kingdom but look pretty. She comes to the square to sell a dress and catches the eye of Prince Robert (Galizine), who is there disguised as a peasant. He noticed her spunk and wit earlier when she perched on a statue of King Rowan (Pierce Bronsonan) to see the changing of the guards and buys her creation when everyone else mocks her.

She's elated and uses the money he gave her to make a dress of her own. Rowan's holding a ball for his reluctant son to find a bride. He wants him to be king, but Rowan's not interested. His sister Gwen (Tallulah Grieve) is interested and has many ideas, but her father ignores her. Ella's stepmother already promised her to a local farmer (Rob Beckett), but Ella really wants to show off her creation to the world. She'll get her chance with the help of her Fabulous Godmother (Billy Porter)...and show how powerful getting your voice out there can be. 

The Song and Dance: And song and dance are the operative words. This is a gorgeous fairy tale stuffed full of songs ranging from Janet Jackson to The White Stripes and Queen, along with new music written by director Cannon and Cabello, among others. Cabello is a charming and witty Cinderella, sharp and funny when telling off the royals at the guard-changing ceremony, adorably awkward at the ball. Menzel more than matches her as the seemingly harsh stepmother who thinks that pushing her daughters into marriage is the best thing for them. Driver and Bronsonan have a great time as the King who relishes his power...and the Queen who wants her voice to be heard, too. The costumes and sets are appropriately brilliant and colorful, especially the stunning, swirling gowns at the dance. Love the special effects when the Fabulous Godmother brings white petals swirling around and turns Ella's mice into footmen. 

Favorite Number: We open with a medley of "Rhythm Nation" for the peasants in the square as they describe their lives and "You Gotta Be" for Cinderella as she works on her dresses with her mouse friends. Ella also gets one of the songs written for the film, "Million to One," her explanation in the town square as to why she wants a business of her own, is one of two new songs written for the film. Robert tries to explain to his friends why he just wants "Someone to Love" in a swirling dance in the palace. Meanwhile, Vivian proudly proclaims she's a "Material Girl" while doing laundry with her daughters who would rather marry a rich man...and expects all her children to do the same. 

"Shining Star" is Porter's big number with the excellent special effects as his magic transforms Ella from hoping drudge with sassy mouse friends into beautiful designer with sassy footmen. "Whatta Man/Seven Nation Army" is one of the two ball numbers, as the stepsisters and the other hopeful women of the court try their best to impress Robert; "Perfect" is his big romantic duet with Ella, first twirling on the dance floor, then at the piano as she admits she's a commoner. "Dream Girl" is Menzel's own composition, as she reveals to her stepdaughter why she's so hard on her.

What I Don't Like: This isn't that far removed from Roller Boogie. It's cute, but really campy, especially in some of the wilder numbers like the "Whatta Man" medley and the opening sequence. While I appreciate the message about women's choices and the power of following our dreams and making our voices heard, it's put across with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. It's not for you if you're looking for a more traditional "little girl sitting by the hearth" story. And frankly, I sort of agree with King Rowan on his son. Galitzine can sing well, but he comes off as a bored and fairly uninteresting slacker with little personality beyond not wanting to be king. 

The Big Finale: It's no masterpiece, but you can do a lot worse if you have older kids who love princess stories or recent pop music or musicals. Check it out at least once with your favorite young royal.

Home Media: It's an Amazon Prime exclusive at the moment.

Amazon Prime