Cult Flops - The Heat's On

Columbia, 1943

Starring Mae West, William Gaxton, Victor Moore, and Lester Allen

Directed by Gregory Ratoff

Music and Lyrics by various

By 1943, Mae West's brand of sexually suggestive comedy was a little too titillating for the Production Code. The studios had been pushing her to dial back on the double entendres for almost a decade by that point. After Paramount dropped her, she appeared on the stage for three years before agreeing to this independent production almost sight-unseen. Was she right to take a chance on this bit of backstage nonsense about a temperamental diva who is wooed from her producer boyfriend by a rival, or should a bucket of ice be dumped on this sizzling show? Let's begin with the first number of the big Broadway show Indiscretions of 1943 and find out...

The Story: Faye Lawrence (West) is aware that the show isn't a success and wants out. The show's producer Tony Ferris (Gaxton) is enamored with her and won't give up on the show. He convinces mousy Hubert Bainbridge (Moore) of an organization that advocates clean, wholesome family images to have the show raided. Far from keeping Faye in the show, it leads to the show being shut down. Faye moves to the tropical-themed extravaganza put on by Ferris' rival Forest Stanton (Alan Dinehart) instead. 

Incensed and wanting Faye back, Ferris creates his own show with Bainbridge and his talented niece Janey Adair (Mary Roche) in the lead role, though her solider boyfriend (Lloyd Bridges) doesn't approve. Hubert's sister Hannah (Almira Sessions) is really the one in charge of their organization, and when she comes home from a convention, she's furious with her brother getting them involved in show business and pulls her family and her money out of the show. Tony thinks he has a way to make Hannah change her mind, but it's the tougher and more practical Faye who finally finds a way to make Hannah see the light.

The Song and Dance: West is the thing when you actually do see her in this odd little extravaganza. She's tough, smart, and takes no guff from both of the producers courting her. Hazel Scott's amazing number with the two pianos is the other attraction. Adair does sing well, and Sessions isn't bad as the rigid and controlling older woman who is convinced that her uptight morals are the only ones worth hearing. 

Favorite Number: We open with the actual opening number of Indiscretions. "I'm a Stranger In Town," with the early 20th century townsfolk looking on West in her feathered hat and boa with suspicion, is both a typical West flirtation number and a foreshadowing of what is to come with Hannah Bainbridge and the Foundation. We move to rehearsals for Faye's new show Tropicana for the next few numbers. Xavier Cugat and singer Lina Romay get a number in Spanish before we move to Joan Thorsen and David Lichine with 'There Goes That Guitar." Lina and Xavier return with the jauntier "Antonio." 

Hazel Scott steals the movie wholesale with her impressive "The White Keys and the Black Keys" that has her really going to town playing two pianos at the same time. She does "The Caissons Go Rolling Along" with the chorus later. Roche joins Jack Owens on a stage-bound river ride through a creamy fantasy Indiana as they admit to be "Thinkin' About the Wabash." Herbert claims "They Looked So Pretty On the Envelope" when he finally gets onstage. Faye ends the movie with her in a huge feathered headdress and spangled gown singing "Hello, Mi Amigo" as chorus boys dance around her. 

Trivia: West went back to the stage after this bombed at the box office. She wouldn't return to film until Myra Breckinridge in 1970. 

What I Don't Like: No wonder West stayed away from movies for so long. For the reason this movie exists, she's barely seen, except in the first ten minutes and last ten minutes...and then, she only has something to do when she takes matters into her own hands regarding Hannah in the last ten minutes. William Gaxton and Victor Moore were a popular comic team on Broadway, but here, Gaxton comes off as an obnoxious, obsessive jerk who won't let Faye go, and Moore is a whiny idiot. No matter how much Herbert pushed Janey for a career, Roche was a good singer but otherwise pretty and blank, not star material. Only the opening number is related to anything, and other than Hazel Scott's genuinely nifty piano routine, are dull and unmemorable. 

The Big Finale: Only for the most ardent fans of West or Scott. 

Home Media: Currently DVD only via the made-to-order Sony Choice Collection.

DVD

Cult Flops - There's No Business Like Show Business

20th Century Fox, 1954

Starring Ethel Merman, Dan Dailey, Donald O'Connor, and Marilyn Monroe

Directed by Walter Lang

Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin

This was intended to be the biggest musical Fox ever made in every sense of the word. It's six main stars came from every corner of show business. Ethel Merman was one of the biggest stars on Broadway. Dan Dailey and Donald O'Connor were movie musical veterans. Johnnie Ray was a massively popular singer known for his emphasis on rhythm and blues and dark ballads a few years before rock really started. Do they all work together in this lavish cavalcade of Irving Berlin hits, or should this family be separated for good? Let's start at the height of vaudeville's popularity in 1919, as married act the Donahues have just added another member...

The Story: Molly (Merman) and Terry (Dailey) Donahue are show business troopers through and through, even raising their children to be part of the act. Though the children attend Catholic school, they eventually rejoin the act after high school as The Five Donahues. Even as the act expands, vaudeville contracts. Sound movies and radio cuts into their business, and then the Depression hits. 

Having their grown children in the act is good for business, but they don't remain there for long. Gentle pianist Steve (Johnnie Ray) joins the priesthood. Vivacious daughter Katie (Mitzi Gaynor) marries handsome lyricist Charlie Gibbs (Hugh O'Brian). Wayward oldest son Tim (O'Connor) pursues gorgeous dancer Vicky Parker (Monroe), but disappears when she's tired of him complaining about her career. Molly never trusted the sensuous Vicky and blames her for Tim running off. It seems that Tim is gone for good and The Five Donahues have gone the way of vaudeville, until the Hippodrome Theater in New York has one last benefit, bringing all the Donahues together one last time.

The Song and Dance: This is as big as a musical could get in the mid-50's. Huge numbers that fill a wide Cinemascope frame, gorgeous Oscar-nominated costumes, a cast of thousands, vibrant DeLuxe Color, an expansive story that covers pretty much all of popular culture from 1919 to 1939. Dailey puts in one of his best performances as the roguish father who will do anything for his family, and Merman also does well as his strong-willed wife. O'Connor would later call this his favorite of his films, and he certainly runs with the opportunity to play a character that's slightly darker than usual for him, including one of his best numbers with the statues. Gaynor is so charming when she is seen, I wish she had more to do.

Favorite Number: We open with the Donahue parents performing "When the Midnight Choo Choo Leaves for Alabam'" in vaudeville. It does give us a good idea of what a typical couple number was like, including them ending up as the front and back half of a train. Katie and Tim reprise it hilariously at Steve's party before he joins the seminary, complete with the same costumes and them as two halves of a train. "Play a Simple Melody" begins with Molly in old-fashioned hoop skirts and bloomers and Terry in stripes playing ragtime as they sing one of Berlin's signature two melodies at once, with Molly preferring old-fashioned ballads and Tim wanting something a little jazzier. "A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody" has a blonde Molly competing with a bevy of glittering chorus girls for Tim's attention.

The act breaks up briefly, with Merman performing "Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee" on the radio, and Dailey turning "You'd Be Surprised" into a girlie burlesque act. "Alexander's Ragtime Band" turns into a massive chorus routine when all the Donahues join in. Molly and Terry do a German dance in bright peasant costumes. Tim dons a kilt for a Scottish highland dance, while Katie joins the boys for a French can can, and Steve simply plays and sings it on the piano. Monroe's introduced in a barely-there glittering white gown with enormous feathers in her head for "After You Get What You Want, You Don't Want It Anymore." The chorus gets "Remember" at that party for Steve. He also gets to sing the ballad "If You Believe." 

Molly may not be happy that she lost the number (in the film or real-life), but Vicky sizzles in "Heat Wave," with its straight-legged dances and brilliant pinks and blacks. Vicky only sings "A Man Chases a Girl Until She Catches Him" off-camera, but it's enough to inspire Tim to do an amazing dance with moving statues around a moonlit park. Tim and Katie literally dances rings around Vicky, who would rather linger and be "Lazy" on a chaise lounge. Katie and Molly liven things up as sea salts in the city who claim "A Sailor's Not a Sailor ('Til a Sailor's Been Tattooed)." The movie ends with all of the principals, including Vicky, joining for a massive version of the title number, literally performed on a pedestal as dancers in colorful costumes representing different aspects of show business flitter around them.

Trivia: This was also Oscar-nominated for Best Score and Best Story. 

Berlin's second-to-last full film musical (White Christmas, released later that year, would be the last). 

Monroe initially refused to do this movie, but Fox promised her the lead role in The Seven Year Itch and a pay increase of $3,000 a week. They also gave at least two numbers planned for Merman to her, including "Heat Wave." 

What I Don't Like: The story is the same domestic melodrama Fox had been serving up in its musicals going back to their 1938 Alexander's Ragtime Band. It feels like they tried to throw every possible cliche in, including Ray joining the priesthood. Speaking of Ray, while he's not quite as terrible as critics claimed at the time, he's not great, either. His performance is stiff as a board, which is likely why he doesn't have much to do besides sing, look concerned, and perform the marriage ceremony for Katie and her beau. No wonder this would be his only film appearance. 

Monroe's not a whole lot better. It's obvious that, other than her numbers, she didn't want to be here and wasn't interested in any of this. She has no chemistry with the vibrant O'Connor, whom she seems to treat more like a kid brother than a lover. It also has the same problem with historical accuracy as Alexander's Ragtime Band. After they get out of the 1910's around the twenty minute mark, it looks like the 50's for the rest of the film. 

The Big Finale: Not the best musical Fox put out, but the numbers are good enough for me to recommend this for major fans of the cast or the big, bold musicals of the 50's and 60's. 

Home Media: Easily found in all formats.

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Happy Memorial Day! - Give Me a Sailor

Paramount, 1938

Starring Bob Hope, Jack Whiting, Martha Raye, and Betty Grable

Directed by Elliot Nugent

Music by Ralph Rainger; Lyrics by Leo Robin

Let's celebrate Memorial Day honoring those who fought and died for us on the high seas with this wacky romantic comedy. Bob Hope was an up-and-coming star on the radio and in the movies when this debuted. Betty Grable, on the other hand, had been bouncing around films since the early 30's and had been doing ingenue roles and tiny roles in big musicals since the mid-30's. Martha Raye had mostly been doing supporting roles since she went to films in 1936. Paramount gave all three of them an opportunity for leading roles, joined by popular crooner Whiting. How well do they do with this goofy farce about two brothers in the Navy who love the same girl? Let's begin with brothers Jim (Hope) and Walter (Whiting) as they're going off-ship and find out...

The Story: Jim is in love with beautiful Nancy (Grable), but she only has eyes for Walter. Nancy's plainer sister Letty (Raye) has a crush on Walter and hopes her excellent cooking will win him. She's going to enter the boat-shaped cake she makes for their return in a contest, but the photographer accidentally takes a photo of her legs instead. Somehow, her legs end up winning a beautiful legs contest. Now she's the glamorous, much-fussed-over one. She and Jim have been trying to help each other to win their heart's desire...but after she becomes famous, they realize that the ones they really want are each other.

The Song and Dance: Grable may be the blonde beauty with the equally good legs, but Raye's the one who really stands out here. She has some great scenes of physical humor, including her bratty sister Edna (Bonnie Jean Churchill) releasing the frog into the kitchen that ends with the fateful photo and Hope hiding her under his mattress when they're forced to share a room at a local inn. Grable's best moment is a dance sequence with a game Whiting where he gets her into a wild routine to keep her from her many suitors.

Favorite Number: We open with the sailors singing about "The U.S.A and You" aboard-ship as they prepare to disembark. "What Goes On In My Heart" begins as a duet for Grable and Whiting at a dance...but Grable keeps dancing with her many other suitors. Whiting pulls her into a delightful tap routine to keep her in his arms, and even manages to acquit himself relatively well alongside the experienced Grable. We get Raye's "A Little Kiss at Twilight" twice, once as a ballad after she becomes famous, and later as a swing number. 

What I Don't Like: Despite figuring into the title, very little time is spent with the guys actually being sailors. This one is all about the relationships. On one hand, it's almost refreshing to see Raye, who usually ends up in brassy supporting roles, get to play the glamor girl. Truth be told, sad-sack Cinderella doesn't really suit her nervy personality, and she can come off as whiny or annoying rather than well-meaning.

Grable's not much better. She's a spoiled brat who steals her sister's clothes for a dance and has no trouble flirting with other men when the one she loves is right there. I have no clue what either guy sees in her. Hope doesn't really have that much to do, and Whiting is barely there other than his dance number with Grable.

The Big Finale: This isn't really much of a comedy, a musical, or a military farce. Unless you're a huge fan of Raye, I'd leave this one stranded in the woods. 

Home Media: Only on DVD as part of a Bob Hope collection and a double-feature with another Hope military comedy, Caught In the Draft. 

DVD - Bob Hope Classic Comedy Collection

DVD - Caught In the Draft/Give a Girl a Sailor

The Five Pennies

Paramount, 1959

Starring Danny Kaye, Barbara Bel Geddes, Louis Armstrong, and Harry Guardino

Directed by Melville Shavelson

Music and Lyrics by various

Our next big band leader may not have had the lengthy career that Goodman did, but he frankly had the more interesting story. Red Nichols began playing in his father's brass band at 12 before falling in love with early Dixieland recordings. By the early 20's, he'd joined bands in the Midwest, then moved out to New York. His own band was hugely popular...but first the hot jazz he loved was replaced by swing, then his beloved daughter came down with polio, and he left show business to help take care of her. His comeback in the early 50's made him a hit all over again. 

Danny Kaye was also trying for a comeback after his last three films hadn't done well at the box office. How well does his manic style work with Nichols' hot jazz? Let's start at a speakeasy in New York as Nichols (Kaye) brings his date Willa "Bobbie" Stutsman (Bel Geddes) to hear Louis Armstrong (himself) play and find out...

The Story: Nichols works with crooner Will Paradise (Bob Crosby) and his band, but he makes jokes about their softer style. He starts a band with his buddies Jimmy Dorsey (Ray Anthony), Glenn Miller (Ray Daley), Artie Schutt (Bobby Troup), and Dave Tough (Shelly Manne) that he calls The Five Pennies. They tour the United States and become wildly popular, especially among jazz-loving college students. 

He marries Bobbie, the band's singer, and they have a daughter, Dorothy (Susan Gordon). Dorothy is the darling of every musician in her father's band, until she contracts polio. Nichols gives up the band to settle in Los Angeles and help Bobbie take care of her. As World War II rages, he takes a job in the West Coast shipyards. Years later, the now-teenaged Dorothy (Tuesday Weld) hears his music and is shocked at how good he is. He claims he's no good anymore, but his wife and daughter know better. If Dorothy can walk at least somewhat well, her father can reclaim his place among the jazz greats.

The Song and Dance: This ended up being very sweet. I love how believable manic, goofy Kaye and warm, down-to-earth Bel Geddes are as a couple. Their up and down relationship is one of the best things about this movie, especially the first half, when they're still on the road. Kaye also works well with Gordon and Weld, and doesn't do too badly later either when he thinks he can never play again. 

The cameos here are pretty cool, too. Bob Crosby was a famous bandleader in his own right, Ray Anthony was an actual trumpeter, and Bobby Troup was a musician and songwriter. Honestly, the movie's worth seeing just for Kaye's delightful two numbers with Louis Armstrong. There's also the gorgeous (and for once, relatively period-accurate) costumes and sets. They and the sound were Oscar-nominated. 

Favorite Number: We open with three early songs turned into jazz hits by Louis Armstrong and his band at the speakeasy. Bel Geddes tries to get Kaye to move along with "Ja-Da," After they've joined their friend Tony Valani (Guardino) and his date at a table, Armstrong moves into "After You've Gone" and "Bill Bailey, Won't You Please Come Home?" He doesn't think Nichols can play, but the younger man shows him otherwise with "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Crosby croons "My Blue Heaven" as Nichols rehearses with his band, but Nichols finds his crooning absurd and makes fun of it. Nichols is far happier singing his own "The Five Pennies" to Dorothy. Bobbie (dubbed by Eileen Wilson) sings it again for her husband in the finale, when he also reprises "Battle Hymm."

Kaye joins the real Red Nichols for three very odd variations on "Back Home Again In Indiana" as he moves to different radio shows with very different sponsors and their national stereotypes! After the band becomes popular, we head to one of the college dances they would perform at and hear "Runnin' Wild" and "Washington and Lee Swing." Nichols is a little bit more worried about his wife bouncing around with the kids to "Follow the Leader" after he finds out she's pregnant! 

We see them take baby Susan on the road, singing "Lullaby In Ragtime" to calm the crying baby. Susan, now about 6, joins her father for "The Music Goes 'Round and 'Round" as he teaches her about his coronet. Hoping to get her to sleep, her father takes her to see Louis Armstrong. This turns into the delightful "When the Saints Go Marching In," with hilarious new lyrics written by Kaye's wife Sylvia Fine. The only way poor Susan can hear her parents at Christmas is to listen to her father sing "Jingle Bells" on the radio. Her father cheers up the children in her hospital room with the comic German novelty "Schnizelbank."

Trivia: That was the real Red Nichols playing his solos in the film. Nichols' comeback was, indeed, a success. He would continue to play venues across the US with his newly-formed orchestra until his death in 1965. 

Nichols' wild Charleston with the dancer (Lizanne Truex) in the opening wasn't scripted. She was only supposed to dance. He grabbed her and joined in. Shavelson liked it so much, he kept it in.

Keep an eye out for the quick cameo by Bob Hope - and the joke Nichols makes about him - as he and his wife and daughter wait to enter The Brown Derby Restaurant. 

Silent and early sound actress Blanche Sweet's last movie (she was the headmistress of the boarding school in the Christmas sequence). Danny Kaye's last film musical. 

What I Don't Like: This is about as sentimental as you can get, especially in the second half, after Susan contracts polio. Though the plot gets a lot closer to the truth than The Benny Goodman Story, it's still a huge pile of biographical cliches. Red played in a lot more bands before he formed his own. After swing supplanted hot jazz, he played in a lot of stage show orchestras and pit bands, which you don't really see. Willa was a dancer and chorus girl, not a singer, when she married Nichols. 

The Big Finale: This is a warm and loving look at a jazz legend who deserves to be better-known. Highly recommended for fans of Kaye or jazz. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

The Benny Goodman Story

Universal-International, 1956

Starring Steve Allen, Donna Reed, Berta Gersten, and Herbert Anderson

Directed by Valentine Davies

Music and Lyrics by Benny Goodman and others

This week, we're jumping into that big band sound with biographies of two influential band leaders. The Glenn Miller Story was a huge hit for Universal in 1954 and proved, despite rapidly changing taste in music, there was still an audience for big band movies. Allen was influential in his own right. An accomplished comedian and pianist, he wrote thousands of songs, recorded hundreds more, and wrote novels, children's books, and essays. Today, he's best-known for his TV work, and in fact, was hosting the original The Tonight Show and about to star in his first of many prime-time variety shows. How well does he do playing another famous musician, the "King of Swing" who anchored one of the most beloved orchestras of his day? Let's begin at Chicago in 1919 and find out...

The Story: Benny Goodman (Allen) starts playing the clarinet for music teachers when he's 10. By the time he's 17, he's traveling with Ben Pollock (Himself) and his band. Near the end of the 20's, he breaks out and forms his own band. Though it's not successful at first, he does meet wealthy jazz lover John Hammond (Anderson) and his sister Alice (Reed). They invite him to their home, where he impresses Alice by playing Mozart's Clarinet Concerto.

Benny courts her, but she's considered too high-brow for him. His mother (Gertson) wishes he'd find someone closer to his station. Meanwhile, his swinging sound has slowly become wildly popular, especially on the West Coast. Now, his band is doing extensive touring, have their own radio show, and will even be appearing in a movie. Even as he prepares to appear at Carnegie Hall, he still has Alice on his mind. Alice for her part is ready to concede, not only to her feelings about Benny, but to the fact that brassy American jazz can be as powerful and heartfelt as European classical concertos.

The Song and Dance: The real reason to see this is the wide variety of cameos from jazz and big band greats whom Goodman actually worked with. That's the real Ben Pollack he plays for, and the real Gene Krupa, Lionel Hampton, and Teddy Wilson performing in his band. One thing that's not often brought up about Goodman that many people would appreciate more nowadays is his racially integrated band. Though it's not heavily discussed in the film, just seeing black and white musicians playing together at a time when the Civil Rights Movement was picking up steam and most bands were still segregated - and black and white artists get equal respect for their music - is revelatory. 

Favorite Number: We open with Goodman's first attempt at playing the clarinet (and the only time we actually hear Steve Allen playing). Soon enough, he's so good, he joins Pollock's band for "By the Beautiful Sea" during a cruise gig...but it's the black band playing "King Porter Stomp" he really loves. His own band starts off with "Original Dixieland One-Step." Alice is impressed with how Goodman manages to tamp down the jazz and do an excellent "Clarinet Concerto" at her brother's home. "Stompin' at the Savoy" becomes a literal stomp when the teens listening get so into it, they start dancing in the aisles. One even grabs a bewildered Alice for a dance! We hear Wilson do "On the Sunny Side of the Street," while Krupa and Harry James go to town on "Sing, Sing, Sing" and James solos on "Shine." 

The last 20 minutes of the film is given over to that famous Carnegie Hall concert. Among the songs heard here, much as they were in the actual concert, are "Sensation Rag," "Avalon," "Don't Be That Way," and "And the Angels Sing."

Trivia: Unlike Glenn Miller, Goodman was still very much alive and active when this film was made. After his band dissolved in 1944, he segwayed into smaller bands and experimented with be-bop and classical. He continued with large and small bands until shortly before his death in 1986. 

Goodson plays all the clarinet solos heard in the movie. The only time beginner Allen actually played was in the first scene, where the young Goodman plays the clarinet for the first time.

What I Don't Like: Despite the wonderful music heard here, everything else is a snore. Though Allen does resemble Goodman, he's otherwise nothing like the reputedly temperamental and hot-headed band leader. The story is cliched to the max, and not only barely touches on many real details of Goodson's life, pretty much whitewashes everything but the racial aspect. Alice, for instance, had already been married and had children before she married Goodson, which isn't mentioned. Reed does what she can with a dull and thankless role. And as with most so-called "historical" musicals of the 40's and 50's set in the recent past, there's no attempt at historical accuracy after the first 20 minutes. Once they get into the late 20's, it looks like 1954 for the rest of the movie. 

The Big Finale: Terrific music aside, I found this to be overwhelmingly dull. Unless you're a huge fan of Allen, Reed, Goodman, or the musicians involved, you're better off looking up Goodman's real recordings and passing on this one. 

Home Media: DVD only at the moment. 

DVD

Animation Celebration Saturday - Thelma the Unicorn

Netflix, 2024

Voices of Brittany Howard, Will Forte, Jermaine Clement, and Jon Heder

Directed by Jared Hess and Lynn Wang

Music and Lyrics by various

We remain at Netflix and in the 21st century for this week's family musical. While the internet can make or break a career, it's a double-edged sword. Yes, a performer can go from an unknown to a sensation in an instant with just one popular video...but it also puts them even more on a pedestal. It's also too easy for anyone to create a false persona, as Thelma does here, and have people worship it. 

Thelma is an ordinary pony who learns that the hard way in this adaptation of the picture book of the same name by Aaron Blabey (who also wrote The Bad Guys). How well do they do in this story of a farm pony whose wish to be more glamorous brings her more fame - and trouble - than she ever could have imagined? Let's begin in the mind of Thelma (Howard) as she dreams of stardom for her and her two best friends and find out...

The Story: Thelma wants badly for her band the Rusty Buckets with her friends Otis the donkey (Forte) and Reggie the llama (Heder) to be in Sparklepalooza, but she embarrasses herself at the audition. After a truck driver (Zach Galafinkis) accidentally dumps pink paint and sparkles on Thelma when she has a carrot on her head, people passing by mistake her for a unicorn. She seizes the opportunity for her band to play, and the resulting video becomes an internet sensation. 

Thelma first attracts the attention of retired agent Peggy Purvis (Maliaka Mitchell), who thinks Thelma and her band will be a perfect comeback for her. Unfortunately, she's also courted by obnoxious Vic Diamond (Clement), the smarmy agent for diva Nikki Narwhal (Ally Dixon). Diamond insists on her opening for Nikki, then blows up her bands' limo to make them late. Thelma is a sensation as a solo act, but Otis doesn't think she should have to hide who she is, and Nikki is jealous of her newfound popularity. 

Thelma goes along with Vic's attempts to boost her career, including pairing her with internet star Danny Stallion (Fred Armisen), but she's not happy with him or the inane music she's singing. Meanwhile, Nikki sends her agent Megan (Edi Patterson) to get any kind of dirt on Thelma and destroy her image. She manages to convince Thelma to quit after she catches her putting on her unicorn makeup, but now everyone thinks she's missing. All Thelma wants is to reunite with her real friends at Sparklepalooza and prove to everyone that you don't need to be pink and sparkly to do what you love.

The Animation: Pretty typical computer animation. There's some rather odd or grotesque designs here, especially on the humans. Vic and Megan are scarier than any of the animals, including Nikki and her long horn. Some of the effects are pretty nifty, including the flashing effects with Nikki's big numbers and the "Sparklepalooza" in the finale.

The Song and Dance: While Howard's not bad in her debut as the short, plump pony who is determined to succeed in show business at all costs, it's the supporting cast who really shine. Forte is charming and funny as Thelma's role-playing-game-obsessed best friend who thinks she's fine the way she is, and Heder is adorable as their dim llama friend. I like some original touches here, like how talking animals and humans co-exist together with no questions, and some of the darker bits of humor and spoofs of shallow pop songs and the weird things people watch online. 

Favorite Number: We open with Thelma and the Rusty Buckets performing "Fire Inside" seemingly at Sparklepalooza, but really in her imagination. "Blubber Trouble" is Nikki's song on TV, performed as a Busby Berkeley spoof with her male back-up dancers surrounding her. Speaking of the male dancers, they reprise their number as Nikki's "Pool Boys" at her mansion. "Hurricane" is Thelma's number with her band after she's gotten covered in paint and attracted everyone's attention. She sings about making it "Big" for the crowds before Nikki's concert. 

Vic claims the "Three Cs to Success" will lead Thelma to fame and fortune. "Here Comes the Cud" is the ridiculous spoof pop number Thelma sings with Danny Stallion that winds up going to number one. It's so dumb, it ends up being smart satire. "Only Unicorn" is her other claim to fame. She finally admits at Sparklepalooza with her band that it's more important to be seen "Just As You Are." We end over the credits with Howard singing "Goldmine." 

What I Don't Like: This isn't anything you haven't seen in live-action and animated movies going back to the early talkies. The story is cliched to the absolute max. It also has a lot of padding from the original story, which was only about a pony who wanted to be a unicorn. There was no Vic, Megan, or Nikki, and no contracts or stardom. The grotesque designs on the humans makes this a little hard to watch at times. There's also a lot of inappropriate bathroom humor, especially on the farm in the opening and near the end, as Thelma's stardom is unraveling. 

The Big Finale: Not the best thing ever, but fun to watch if you're a fan of Howard or have a little girl who loves music, horses, and/or unicorns.

Home Media: This is a Netflix exclusive at the moment. 

Netflix

Musicals On Streaming - Tick...Tick...Boom!

Netflix, 2021

Starring Andrew Garfield, Alexandra Shipp, Robin de Jesus, and Vanessa Hudgens

Directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Music and Lyrics by Johnathan Larson

We head across the country and skip back three decades for our next show business tale. Johnathan Larson was a struggling songwriter and composer in New York who dreamed of writing the next big musical. He had such a hard time getting his ambitious sci-fi show Superbia off the ground, he ultimately went smaller and wrote a one-man rock musical about his struggle to create that show and maintain his relationships. 

After his death in 1996, playwright David Auden restructured it into a slightly larger three-person musical that debuted off-Broadway in 2001. Producer Julie Oh saw it as part of the Encores! Off-Center concert series in New York that featured Miranda and thought he was the only director who could do it justice. It debuted on Netflix in November 2021 and was a hit, doing far better on streaming than most of the other musicals released in theaters that year did. How well does it do with Larson's tumultuous life? Let's begin with footage from 1992 of Larson (Garfield) performing his three-person musical as his girlfriend Susan (Shipp) explains how they got to that point, and see...

The Story: Larson is a starving artist in New York's Greenwich Village in 1990. He's working as a waiter in a local diner and is barely able to pay the rent, let alone find the money to back his elaborate sci-fi musical Superbia that he was working on for the last eight years. He's about to turn 30 in a few weeks and is desperate to succeed before that happens. His girlfriend Susan wants to get a job teaching dance at a prestigious dance school in western Massachusetts and asks him to come with her. His best friend Michael (de Jesus) is currently working as an advertising executive and wants him to join a focus group. 

Johnathan is too obsessed with his show to pay either of them much mind. His producer Ira (Johnathan Marc Sherman) asks him to come up with a new song to fill in a gap in Superbia's story, and he only has a week to do it. He feels even worse when one of his fellow waiters at the diner is hospitalized with HIV. His decision to put the workshop over his relationships leads to Susan breaking up with him and Michael reminding him that theater isn't the most stable career path. Even after his agent Rosa (Judith Light) does manage to get a few producers to see that workshop, everyone says its brilliant but too big to produce. Johnathan's ready to give up, but it takes encouragement from Michael and a very unlikely source to remind him how much he truly loves the theater and performing.

The Song and Dance: Garfield is amazing in this searing exploration of how real life expectations often collide with dreams, and how we can keep dreaming even when things are at their worst. You'd never know this was his first musical. He sounds great, raw and strong and real. De Jesus more than matches him as his best friend who gave up the theater for security and never looked back. 

Considering all the trouble they had with Covid restrictions, they still managed some nice cinematography in the real New York, including the Delacorte Theater in Central Park, Larson's actual apartment, and the New York Theater Workshop building. Manuela manages to keep everything moving at a brisk pace for such a long film and throws in some really nifty touches, especially during the "Sunday" number at the diner.

Favorite Number: We open with Garfield and the cast singing "30/90," the original title of Tick...Tick...Boom!, on shaky footage from an actual camcorder. "Boho Days" is the big party number for Johnathan and his friends at his apartment. "Green Green Dress" is heard briefly on the radio before Susan and Johnathan make love after their chat on the roof during the party. "Johnny Can't Decide" whether to focus on his relationships or his career. His friends onstage Karessa (Vanessa Hudgens) and Roger (Joshua Henry) represent his actual friends pushing him to figure it out.

"Sunday" starts in the diner, but it becomes a monumental chorus routine in Johnathan's mind as he imagines half the stars on Broadway joining in to his tribute to his mentor Stephan Sondheim (Bradley Whitford). Rapper Tariq Trotter gives us the gritty Times Square of hustlers, hookers, bland "corporate" shows and huge English rock operas in the rap "Play Game." Karessa and Johnathan's goofy onstage "Therapy" is a lot less cute in real-life as Susan reminds Johnathan that she exists and he's been brushing her off. He also reveals why "Swimming" centers him and inspired him to finally write that new song. 

Karessa initially sings "Come To Your Senses" at the workshop...but it's Susan Johnathan hears as he realizes what a jerk he's been. Michael also admonishes him to come to his senses, remind him that "Real Life" isn't like the theater. Johnathan wonders "Why" he's behaved like he did when he finally sits down at the Delacorte to play piano, and remembers how he fell in love with theater in the first place. We end with Johnathan, Karessa, and Roger back onstage, singing about how his music speaks "Louder Than Words." 

Trivia: Among the Broadway stars who have cameos during the "Sunday" number are Brian Stokes Mitchell, Bernadette Peters, Phylicia Rashad, Joel Gray, Howard McGillin, Andre De Shields, Bebe Neuwirth, Renee Elise Goldsberry, and Phillipa Soo. Songwriters Jason Robert Brown, Jeanine Tesori, Marc Shaiman, Stephen Schwartz, Stephen Trask, and Tom Kitt are among those who can be seen as "aspiring songwriters" during the musical workshop scene.

Ironically, Larson's real-life friend who inspired the character of Michael survived contracting the HIV virus and is still alive at press time. Oh, and he was never his roommate, nor involved in the performing arts, even when they were kids. His girlfriend Janet inspired Susan, and though they were apparently off-again, on-again, they never flat-out broke up as depicted here. 

The workshops for Superbia took place in 1988, not 1990. Larson was even more disappointed in its production than what's seen here. The musical theater cast couldn't muster up enough energy for the rock score, and all he managed to get was piano accompaniment. Even Sondheim left after the first act. Larson continued to have faith in it and work on it through 1992, after which he finally dropped it to focus on Rent.

What I Don't Like: This might be a little too dark for those of you looking for something lighter or more uplifting. The adult themes and some mild language makes this not for young musical lovers. I also sort of wish they cut out the wrap-arounds with Larson at the actual show, or only ran them in the beginning and end. The movie is at its strongest when it focuses on Johnathan and lets him tell his own story. And while it's apparently a little more realistic about the AIDS crisis and what men like Michael and Freddy were going through in the early 90's than the show, it's still portraying it largely through the lens of a heterosexual white youth. 

The Big Finale: This might be a little too gritty to be for everyone, but if you're a fan of Rent or want to see a really good musical about creativity and making musicals, this one is worth checking out for the performances and music alone.

Home Media: This remains a Netflix exclusive at the moment.

Netflix