Cult Flops - The Pirate Movie

20th Century Fox, 1982
Starring Kristy MacNichol, Christopher Atkins, Ted Hamilton, and Bill Kerr
Directed by Ken Annikin
Music by Arthur Sullivan and others; Lyrics by W.S Gilbert and others

In a response to the success of the revival of Pirates of Penzance in New York in 1981, there were two versions of the classic Gilbert and Sullivan operettas on the big screen in 1982 and 1983. Neither was a success, but both would pick up a bit more of an audience on cable in the 80's and early 90's. This rock-and-roll Australian spoof came out first, in the summer of 1982. Is it still worthy of a modern major general, or should it be made to walk the plank? Let's join a young woman and her friends at a pirate festival on the docks at Sydney, Australia and find out...

The Story: Mabel (MacNichol) is a rather nerdy Australian girl who is on an outing with her gorgeous friends at a pirate festival. The swordfighting instructor (Atkins) she meets on a pier invites her and her friends on a trip with him, but they kick her off. She rents a pontoon and follows them, only to fall off and wash up on an island.

It's there that she dreams that she's the daughter of a very modern Major General (Kerr) in the late 1800's. The instructor becomes Fredrick, a young man raised by less-than-bloodthirsty pirates, including the sex-crazed Pirate King (Hamilton). It's his birthday, and he wants to leave his apprenticeship with the buccaneers and work towards their destruction. He heads to shore; while the ship's nurse Ruth (Maggie Kirkpatrick) tries to flirt with him, but he's more interested in the young women frolicking behind parasols on shore. They're the daughters of Major General Stanley, and they're all afraid of a pirate...except the bold and sarcastic Mabel. Mabel finds herself having to first defend her sisters against the randy Pirate King and his men, then leading Fredrick to find the pirates' lost treasure.

The Pirate King finds Fredrick first. He and Ruth reveal that Fredrick's birthday isn't exactly what he thinks it is. When he switches sides, Mabel takes his place. She has to try to lead a group of very frightened cops to victory against pirates twice their size...and remember that in dreams, everyone can make their own happy ending.

The Song and Dance: I have such fond memories of watching this on cable as a kid in the early-mid 80's. For the most part, it's still as much fun as I remember it, kind of a musical cross between Pirates of the Caribbean and the Mel Brooks movies of the 70's and 80's. MacNichol is having a blast as the shy girl who dreams herself into the role of a strong and smart heroine. This movie was originally Hamilton's idea, and he's very funny as the leader of the buccaneers who is determined to chase anything in a skirt, with Kirkpatrick almost as good as Ruth, who is more-or-less his female counterpart in flirting. He and Atkins have the best non-musical moment in the hilarious duel all over Werribee Mansion.

One of my favorite things about this is the gorgeous cinematography. The movie was shot on location in and around the historic Werribee Park Mansion in Victoria, Australia, and even when the plot is at it's silliest, it never looks less than beautiful.

Favorite Number: My own sisters and I used to love "The Sisters' Song (Riding Over Rocky Mountain)," mainly because of their cute frilly pink and yellow parasols that they twirl throughout the number. The choreography here is pretty nifty, too. Mom got a kick out of the revised lyrics for "Modern Major General" that makes references to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. In fact, most of the ensemble numbers here are a lot of fun to watch, including the finale "Happy Ending" (despite a few questionable hand-and-arm movements in that one). Mabel also gets the animated-live action segment "Pumpin' and Blowin'," as she does just that while Fredrick searches for the treasure.

Trivia: Ken Annikin was a mentor of George Lucas, hence the Star Wars reference (and Annkin's name being used for the character of Anakin Skywalker).

What I Don't Like: A lot of the gags here are either very sexually-oriented, misogynist, or dated. (The Pink Panther sequence is funny only if you've seen the later movies in that franchise.) The sex jokes went over our heads when we were kids, but they may be a little too randy for some adults today. Mabel and Fredrick's big duet and their solo love songs are fairly bland 80's pop ballads and are at odds with the more uptempo rock songs and the Gilbert and Sullivan. Speaking of Gilbert and Sullivan, this is obviously not for purists or those looking for for a more traditional version of Pirates of Penzance.

The Big Finale: With its jokey tone, perky pop songs, and strong heroine, this might actually have been ahead of its time. If you love comic swashbucklers, goofy musicals, or action movies with a good female lead, you'll want to dig up this treasure.

Home Media: Unfortunately, the lone Anchor Bay Entertainment DVD release that I have is currently out of print. Your best bet may be to look for this at used venues like eBay or Goodwill.

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