Animation Celebration Saturday - The Magic Pudding

20th Century Fox, 2000

Voices of John Cleese, Geoffrey Rush, Hugo Weaving, and Sam Neill

Directed by Karl Zwicky

Music and Lyrics by various

Let's head down under this weekend and learn about a movie I only just heard of this week. Apparently, this is based on a beloved Australian children's book from 1918. The author's family resisted international adaptions, holding out for an Australian company. They finally sold it to Energee Entertainment, which was then a leading independent Australian animation studio. How does this uniquely Aussie story look on this side of the pond? Let's begin with ship captain Bill Barnacle (Weaving) and his crew as they navigate a storm in the Arctic and find out...

The Story: Barnacle and his crew mates Sam Sawnoff the penguin (Neill) and Buncle the wombat (Jack Thompson) are stranded in the Arctic after their shop breaks up there. Buncle's desperate cry for food makes the Magic Pudding (Cleese) appear from the sky. His name is Albert, and despite being rather rude, he can also last forever. Buncle tries to steal it, but he falls off the ice and is believed to be lost. Sam and Bill decide to become Albert's protectors. 

Ten years later, Bunyip Bluegum the koala (Rush) sets off in search of his missing parents. He runs across Bill and Sam after stopping two thieves from stealing Albert. Bunyip encounters a frightened bandicoot who says that a frog on a log is the only creature who isn't too frightened to tell him where his parents are. He and his new friends follow Albert to figure out the frog's clues. 

As it turns out, Barnacle is alive...and he's not only still hungry, he's forcing other animals to bring him food. His nephew Watkin (Greg Carroll) and Patrick O'Possum (Dave Gibson) have been sent to steal the pudding, but Albert keeps eluding them. They get so desperate, they open a dam over the very town where Bunyip, Albert, and the other two are heading. It takes saving the town for the residents to finally bring Albert and the pudding protectors to Barnacle's lair and rescue not only Bunyip's parents, but a whole host of slaves as well.

The Animation: Much better than I expected from an independent Australian animated feature. Some of the backdrops are downright gorgeous, particularly where the frog on a log is and in the town. Everything moves really well, and as far as I can tell, they look like the characters in the book, especially Bunyip and Sam.

The Song and Dance: I give them credit for a great voice cast, too. Rush is an adorable Bunyip, while Cleese is hilarious as the occasionally nasty pudding and Weaving and Neill are hilarious as the remaining pudding protectors. That animation really is lovely - see the number where Bunyip imagines his mother (Toni Collette) singing to him. Thompson makes a terrific villain, too, and even the thieves get some occasionally funny gags. 

The Numbers: Our first number isn't until 10 minutes in, but it comes from Rush. Bunyip begins his journey by proclaiming "It's a Wonderful Day." Weaving, Cleese, and Neill introduce him to "Albert, the Magic Pudding" after he runs across them. "The Puddin' Owners' Song" is their number after they bring Bunyip in on their fellowship. "My Heart Beats" is the ballad Bunyip imagines his mother Meg singing at the frog pond. "It's Worse Than Weevils," say the pudding owners to the thieves. They all band together to "Save the Town" and use the pudding to fill bags and keep the waters from rising. "In the Underground Tonight" is the other big chorus number as Thompson and his mooks celebrate capturing Albert.

What I Don't Like: First of all, research online indicates that this doesn't have a whole lot to do with the book. It wasn't indicated how Bill and Sam came across the Magic Pudding. They just have it when Bunyip first encounters them. Bunyip did leave his uncle, but it wasn't to find his parents. The book ends with a basset hound helping them defend Albert in court against the thieves. There was no Buncle, mooks, or flooded town. 

Second, this is a pretty strange story. It feels like they threw the original book in with bits and pieces of other animated films of the late 90's-early 2000's. Colette's ballad is too modern and out of place with the songs that have lyrics taken directly from the book. 

The Big Finale: The lovely animation and great voice cast alone makes this worth checking out at least once for elementary school-age kids and their parents.

Home Media: Not on disc in North America, but it can be found for free with commercials on streaming.

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The Buddy Holly Story

Columbia Pictures, 1978

Starring Gary Busey, Don Stroud, Charles Martin Smith, and Maria Richwine

Directed by Steve Rash

Music and Lyrics by Buddy Holly and others

Jim Morrison was hardly the first or last rock star to die young. Buddy Holly was one of the seminal rock pioneers. His songs were international hits in the late 50's, including classics like "Peggy Sue," "Rave On," and "That'll Be the Day." He pushed for more control over his music, including writing and producing his own songs. He might have done more, if it wasn't for his death during that fateful and poorly-organized Winter Party Tour. I reviewed a later version of that fateful night, La Bamba, last September. How does this slightly more upbeat take on Holly's side of the story look now? Let's begin with teens roller skating at a rink in Lubbock, Texas and find out...

The Story: Buddy Holly (Busey) and his friends drummer Jesse Charles (Stroud) and bassist Ray Bob Simmons (Smith) play at the skating rink and for a local radio station as the Crickets. Buddy's been experimenting with that brash, jangly new sound known as rock. The teens at the rink love it, and Riley, the manager at the station (William Jordan), is interested enough to recommend them to Coral Records. 

The Crickets don't last long with Coral after they learn they're expected to play country music, not rock. Fortunately, Riley also sent a tape of their skating rink performance to producer Ross Hunter (Conrad Janis) in New York. He's so impressed, he releases the tape without knowing the Crickets aren't under contract. After it's a hit, Holly convinces Hunter to sign them up and let him produce their output. 

That gets them up and running. They're so popular, they even become the first white act to play the Apollo Theater in Harlem after someone mistakes them for a black band. Buddy's more interested in Turner's secretary Maria Elena Santiago (Richwine). He convinces her aunt to let them go out, then marries her after their first date. 

Buddy's now writing hit after hit, but Jesse is feeling in his shadow and resents the time he spends with Maria. After an appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, he and Ray Bob quit the band and return to Texas. Buddy wonders how he can make music without them. Maria encourages him to go on the Winter Party Tour to bring his confidence level back up again. She and the Crickets even plan on seeing him in the next stop after Clear Lake...or would, if he hadn't chartered a plane to get them there in a snowstorm...

The Song and Dance: This has some things in common with La Bamba and The Doors. They're all anchored by terrific performances from actors who threw themselves into the lead roles, beautifully recreating the performing styles of the singer in question. Gary Busey was so perfect as Buddy Holly, he landed a Best Actor nomination. He looks as gangly as he did in real life and does his own singing and playing so well, you'd think that was Buddy Holly there. Smith and Stroud also do well as his band mates who eventually feel overshadowed by his success. The low budget and decision to film all musical numbers right on the soundtrack actually works to the film's advantage, giving it a slightly gritty, raw warts-and-all feel that's very welcome in a biopic.

The Numbers: We open with Buddy and the Crickets performing the country ballad "Mockin' Bird Hill" at the skating rink before switching to the far more upbeat "Rock Around With Ollie Vee" and "That'll Be the Day." He's not as happy when their attempt to record "Day" for Coral Records comes out sounding a lot more country than he wants. Paul Mooney makes a not-bad Sam Cooke singing "You Send Me" at the Apollo before Buddy and the Crickets come out and tear up the place with "Everyday," "Oh Boy!" and "It's So Easy." The audience has so much fun, they end up dancing in the orchestra pit.

"Words of Love" and "I'm Gonna Love You Too" show us the Crickets in the studio. "Love You Too" almost ends with fisticuffs between Buddy and Jesse when the latter makes a racial comment about Maria. "Rave On" and "Listen To Me" go better, until Buddy gets so into his duet with Eddie Cochran (Jerry Zaremba) on "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On," he makes the other two Crickets feel unappreciated. "Well...All Right" and "Maybe Baby" are their numbers at The Ed Sullivan Show, but the damage has been done. After the Big Bopper (Gailord Sartain) performs "Chantilly Lace" at Clear Lake, Buddy proves he still has it, even on his own, with a final medley of That'll Be the Day," "True Love's Ways," and "Not Fade Away."

Trivia: This wasn't the first attempt at a Buddy Holly movie. Gary Busey actually played the drummer for the Crickets in another biography made for 20th Century Fox, Three-Sided Coin, that was ultimately canceled. 

What I Don't Like: While more accurate than The Doors, this is still full of cliches. The original Crickets had already sold the rights to their names for another biopic, which is why fictional names are used and the band is reduced from three to two. "Peggy Sue" was named for the girlfriend of original Cricket Jerry Allison, not Buddy's girlfriend. Buddy's time recording country songs in Nashville went far smoother than what we see here and didn't end with him punching anyone. 

I'm also not a fan of the film's too-pat ending. They allude to the fatal crash in a quick paragraph after the Clear Lake Finale medley, but we don't see it. It wasn't until La Bamba debuted almost a decade later that someone finally detailed the events leading up to that tragedy on the big screen.

The Big Finale: Though not as dynamic as The Doors, it's still worth checking out for Busey's terrific performance as the title musician and the sensational numbers, especially if you're a fan of early rock. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming in the US.

DVD

Amazon Prime

A Salute to Val Kilmer - The Doors

Tri-Star Pictures, 1991

Starring Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan, Kevin Dillon, and Kathleen Quinlan

Directed by Oliver Stone

Music and Lyrics by various

We honor Val Kilmer, who passed away last week, with our first weekday review. The idea of a biopic of the mercurial Doors front man Jim Morrison had been kicked around in Hollywood since at least the mid-80's. Stone was initially supposed to only write it, but the surviving Doors were impressed with his war epic Platoon and wanted him to direct it as well. 

The movie was problematic from the start. The Doors and the parents of Morrison and his late wife Pamela Courson objected to how the duo were portrayed in the film, and the Doors weren't thrilled with the historical inaccuracies in the script. Were they right, or like Morrison himself, is there more to this movie than meets the eye? Let's begin in 1949, as a young Jim Morrison (Sean Stone) and his family pass by a dying Native American who will shape much of his later feelings on death, and find out...

The Story: By 1965, Jim (Kilmer) is going to college at UCLA. Among the few students who get his provocative and often political poetry are co-ed Pamela Courson (Meg Ryan) and pianist and songwriter Ray Manzarek (Kyle MacLachlan). Jim is so impressed with Ray's songs, he, guitarist Robby Krieger (Frank Whaley), and drummer John Densmore (Dillon) form the Doors to show them off.

After trying psychedelic drugs in Death Valley, they return to LA ready for their first gig. They're a sensation at the wildly popular Whiskey a Go-Go nightclub and pick up a huge fan base. Jim's lewd behavior onstage loses them the gig, but gains them a contract with Elektra Records. They're suddenly one of the biggest bands on the planet, enough to gain a spot on The Ed Sullivan Show. It proves to be their only time on the show, due to Jim refusing to change the lyrics to "Light My Fire" to fit then-broadcast standards.

Both Jim's marriage to Pamela and his relationship with the other Doors are increasingly strained by his wild and erratic behavior. Jim begins an affair with journalist Patricia Kenneally (Quinlan) and even gets involved with her wiccan ceremonies. He's arrested in Miami after exposing himself during a concert. Jim knows his life is out of control, but he continues to fantasize about death, even after he and Pamela finally move to Paris. Jim thinks he's escaping the rock lifestyle, but he can't avoid it when his many excesses and abuses finally catch up with him while he's in the tub one night...

The Song and Dance: For all the problems and inaccuracies, they got the casting right. Kilmer pretty much begged for the role of Morrison, and he totally nails it. He looks like him, sings like him (when his actual voice is used), and throws himself into Morrison's wild lifestyle with total abandon. Ryan, still best known for romantic comedies, is nearly his equal as his abused girlfriend, and later wife. Others who rise to the occasion include MacLachlan as the Doors' quieter pianist, Quinlan as the mystical journalist who also fell for Morrison, Mimi Rogers as sassy photographer Gloria Stavers, and Crispin Glover in his brief role as a pitch-perfect Andy Warhol. Gorgeous cinematography in the real LA, New York, Paris, and Mojave Desert add to the dream-like ambiance. 

The Numbers: The first actual number is "California Sun" by the Rivieras, which gives us Jim's arrival in LA and his view of its beach scene. "Love Street" introduces Jim to Pamela when he follows her to her parents' home. We get to see the newly-formed Doors rehearsing two of their most iconic songs, "Break On Thorough to the Other Side" and "Light My Fire," at Pamela' house. "Break On Through" gets a reprise at the Whiskey A Go-Go that gives us our first glimpse of Jim's heavily sexual singing style...and how the women in the audience react to it. 

"My Wild Love" is the Doors' song performed during their acid trip in Death Valley, accompanied by nothing but bongo drums. "The End" starts during Jim's Native American vision in Death Valley, but eventually carries to the Whiskey A Go-Go..and ends. "Light My Fire" is reprised for Pam and Jim's wedding as LA flower children celebrate the Summer of Love. "Alabama Song" takes the doors to their first performances on the east coast in New York City. "Light My Fire" comes up again on The Ed Sullivan Show, but the producers do not like it when Jim sings the original sexually charged lyrics. 

Jim realizes how "People are Strange" during his photography session with Gloria Stavers. "Heroin" by another pioneering hard rock group The Velvet Underground introduces Jim to an admiring Andy Warhol. "Strange Days" shows his increasingly weird drug trips and obvious affairs. The New Haven concert gives us "Back Door Man" before Jim rants about a cop who sprayed him with mace before the show. "The Movie" accompanies their discussion of starring in a film before they're kicked out of the bar. "You're Lost, Little Girl" provides the accompaniment for the disastrous Thanksgiving that ends with Pam and Jim literally at each other's throats.

"To Touch the Earth" gives us Jim at his wild best in concert...before he comes home and realizes he's not the only one having affairs. We see him increasingly erratic, onstage, with Pamela, and with the other Doors. This leads into a Wiccan marriage ceremony and a genuine Native American ritual dance. Unfortunately, it's effecting his performances. His attempts at "Moonlight Drive" and "The Soft Parade" are slurred and under his usual standards. He's late to the Miami concert, but his electric performance of "Five to One," "Dead Cats, Dead Rats," and "Break On Through" ends with him stripping his shirt and being dragged along by the crowd. 

What I Don't Like: The real Doors heavily objected to how Stone played fast and loose with facts and claimed that only the worst sides of Jim and Pamela were portrayed on-screen. Apparently, the problems between the group members weren't quite as bad as portrayed here, either. Jim's student movie was much lighter than the heavy sexual romp seen during his class at UCLA, and he took the Wiccan wedding to Patricia far more seriously than he seems to in the film. Morrison didn't blatantly disregard the request to change the lyrics on The Ed Sullivan Show, either. He simply sang the song as written. (Jim later claimed he meant to change the lyric but was nervous about singing on TV and forgot.) Pamela and Patricia also got along far better than they're seen to here. 

I've been a fan of the Doors for a long time, and while I can understand why their music would inspire Stone to get melodramatic, a lot of this comes off as overly pretentious. The lavish sequences with them dropping acid in the desert and Morrison's visions of the elderly Native can just seem like a little too much, even for a rock star known for his insane lifestyle. Stone gets so into the flash, he never really gets under Morrison's skin and shows how or why he fell so hard, so fast.

The Big Finale: Kilmer's sterling performance and some great music makes this worth seeing for fans of Stone or Kilmer's other work, the real Doors, or classic hard rock.

Home Media: Easily found on all formats. The DVD often turns up for under $10. The 4K is "The Final Cut" with some scenes removed and changed. It's currently on Pluto TV for free with commercials.

DVD

Blu-Ray

4K - The Doors: The Final Cut

Pluto TV On Demand

Animation Celebration Saturday - Princess Castle

Golden Films, 1996

Directed by Diane Paloma Eskenazi

Music and Lyrics by Jewel, Leslie Spiro, and Kelly Sachs

Unlike their rivals UAV, Golden Films did occasionally do original movies that weren't based on whatever was popular at the time. We've already seen one, The Legend of Su-Ling. In fact, the very generically titled Princess Castle has more in common with the movies from this era like Jumanji that had kids on a wild adventure than anything Disney. How well do they pull off the story of a 7-year-old who rescues her sister and a young prince from an evil queen? Let's begin with that young girl Claire as her mother insists she babysits her toddler sister Katilin and find out...

The Story: Claire follows Katilin into a storage area under the stairs. She finds a beautiful locket with a sapphire inside and an invitation from a queen, which somehow transports them to a fantasy world. Claire encounters a boy named Anthony, who is trying to rescue his mother Queen Emma from the castle tower. She was imprisoned there by her wicked sister Queen Carlotta, who is searching for the sapphire that will give her the ultimate power over the kingdom. After Katilin wanders off and is also captured by Carlotta, the two kids have to figure out how to get her back, release the queen, and get the sapphire to the right place, before Carlotta gets her hands on them.

The Animation: Same as their other productions. Colors are bright and the costumes are detailed, but no one has any expression. They have the same neutral look regardless of whether they're happy or angry or frightened. It makes the movie a bit dull to watch. 

The Song and Dance: At least they tried for something totally different. To date, Disney has only once gone the Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe route in their animated films and have normal kids end up in a fantasy world, and that was way back in Peter Pan. Claire does occasionally have her moments, and Katilin's random wandering can be pretty cute. The plot with the two sisters and how Carlotta seized control of the kingdom is actually pretty elaborate for a 40-minute special. 

The Numbers: We start with Claire fantasizing about dancing at a ball to "The Waltz of the Flowers" from The Nutcracker...at least until she realizes that Katilin is missing. Claire and Anthony perform "Wherever You Go" to get Katilin to sleep when she's at Queen Carlotta's castle. The song is lovely, but the clouds and stars are a little too cartoony and goofy for a sweet and romantic song. Claire finally gets her wish for a ball as "Waltz of the Flowers" reprises, then becomes "Wish Upon a Dream" as Claire waltzes with Anthony. The film finishes with a reprise of the "Wherever You Go" number, including the goofy clouds and stars.

What I Don't Like: First of all, what age are the kids supposed to be? Claire looks and acts more like she's somewhere between 10 and 12, not 7. Kaitlin acts like a toddler, but is too big and mature-looking to be one. And why on earth did their mother leave a 7-year-old to take care of a toddler? No wonder Claire was angry. Anthony doesn't have a lot of personality beyond being the info dump for his mother's situation, and Queen Emma has even less. Queen Carlotta is more screechy than anything. 

The Big Finale: Passable entertainment for younger elementary-school girls who are cooped up on a chilly early spring day. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and pretty much anywhere online, including Tubi for free with commercials.

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The Three Musketeers (1939)

20th Century Fox, 1939

Starring Don Ameche, The Ritz Brothers, Binnie Barnes, and Pauline Moore

Directed by Allan Dwan

Music by Samuel Pokrass; Lyrics by Walter Bullock

The Marx Brothers were far from the only comic brother group who were popular in the 30's and early 40's. The Ritz Brothers started out on the stage in 1925. By 1934, they were Broadway headliners who did short subjects for Educational Pictures. 20th Century Fox was so impressed, they hired them as the comic relief in big musicals like On the Avenue. The Three Musketeers would prove to be their biggest hit with their names above the title. How does this wacky spoof of swashbucklers look now? Let's begin with D'Aragnan (Ameche) as he arrives in Paris and find out...

The Story: D'Arangan is looking for the fabled three Musketeers. Alas, they got drunk, and what he finds is three cooks (Ritz Brothers) in their outfits. He needs all the help he can get. Queen Anne (Gloria Stuart) and her lady-in-waiting Constance (Moore) find him dueling with the Duke of Buckingham (Lester Matthews) at the inn where he and the cooks conned their way into rooms. The Queen is having an affair with the Duke and has given him a jeweled broach to remember her by. 

Cardinal Richelieu (Miles Mander) orders Lady De Winter (Barnes) and his head man De Rochefort (Lionel Atwill) to steal the broach and bring it to King Louis (Joseph Schildkraut). DeWinter does manage to waylay D'Arganan...but she doesn't account for his loyal, if none-too-bright, friends. It's all for one, and one for lunacy as the four non-Musketeers prove themselves worthy of the name to make sure the broach gets to the Queen before the King figures out what's going on!

The Song and Dance: Darn good cast for a spoof. Ameche made such a wonderful D'Arangan, I wish he'd done more swashbucklers. Moore was a lovely Constance, Barnes was a charming Milady the few times we see her, and Atwill and Mander didn't do badly as the scheming villains. The Ritz Brothers' broad slapstick may be an acquired taste, but I thought their gags came off a lot better here than in the bigger-budget musicals On the Avenue and One In a Million. I'm also impressed with how relatively well they stuck to the first half of the book for a spoof, despite the complicated story being greatly condensed. 

The Numbers: We open with D'Aragnan on his horse, riding to Paris and singing "Warla Warla (Say Paree)" as he greets other travelers on the road. He reprises the number while preparing to meet Constance again about mid-way through the film. The cooks show how they make their "Chicken Soup" in the tavern kitchen right before the real Musketeers turn up drunk. D'Arganan and the cooks sing "Voila" after they've taken on the Cardinal's guards at the tavern. The young Musketeer hopeful woos Constance with "My Lady" in the boarding house courtyard. 

What I Don't Like: As I mentioned, the Ritz Brothers are an acquired taste at best for most audiences nowadays. Though they were popular onstage through the 50's, they never did gel with movies the way the Marxes did. The trio don't have enough personality to offset their broad and often juvenile slapstick shenanigans. They admittedly come off better here than they did playing second fiddle to Fox blondes, but their brand of goofiness doesn't work well with the otherwise straight action story. In fact, there's so much focus on them, we don't see enough of characters like Lady DeWinter who are a lot more important to the action. The songs are no great shakes, either, and in fact often slow down the pace. 

The Big Finale: I got a kick out of this, but your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for the Ritzes and/or their brand of slapstick lunacy. 

Home Media: DVD only from the 20th Century Fox Cinema Classics Collection.

DVD

Happy April Fool's Day! - A Night at the Opera

MGM, 1935

Starring The Marx Brothers (Groucho, Harpo, and Chico), Margaret Dumont, Allan Jones, and Kitty Carlisle

Directed by Sam Wood

Music and Lyrics by various

Let's celebrate a day devoted to merriment with three of the craziest pranksters in classic film. Paramount dropped the Marxes after their previous film, Duck Soup, wasn't a hit. Head of MGM Irving Thalburg recognized their genius and snapped them up, encouraging them to hone their craft on a vaudeville tour before they made this movie. How well does the MGM largess and their big musical numbers fit with the Marxes' brand of madness? Let's begin at an expensive restaurant in Milan, Italy, where Otis P. Driftwood (Groucho) is supposed to be meeting his boss Mrs. Claypool (Dumont), and find out...

The Story: After she finally gets his attention, Driftwood introduces Mrs. Claypool to Herman Gottleib (Sig Rumann), the director of the New York Opera. Driftwood has arranged for Mrs. Claypool to invest $200,000 in the opera company, which will allow Gottlieb to hire star tenor Rodolfo Laspari (Walter Woolf King). After hearing how much Laspari will make a year, Driftwood tries to get him under contract instead. He ends up getting Ricardo Baroni (Jones), a chorus performer at the opera, thanks to Baroni's self-styled manager Fiorello (Chico) and Laspari's dresser Tomasso (Harpo). Baroni is in love with leading lady Rosa Castaldi (Carlisle), but Laspari is also interested in her. 

During the voyage from Italy to New York, Driftwood discovers that Baroni and his two friends stowed away in his trunk. He tries to hide them in his already-small stateroom at first, but they get caught. He manages to get them into New York anyway when they pose as three heroic European pilots. Driftwood's continued attempts to keep his friends from the police and Baroni returning to Rosa's side ends with Driftwood and Rosa losing their jobs and everyone thrown out on the sidewalk. Driftwood may not be able to sit on the grass, but he and his friends are never down for long. They come up with an idea that'll bring Rosa and Ricardo together onstage and keep Gottlieb and police officer Sergeant Henderson (Robert Emmet O'Connor) from stopping their own show for good.

The Song and Dance: One of the Marxes' best films. My favorite sequence has always been the Stateroom Scene, where fifteen people, a giant trunk, and 30 hard-boiled eggs are stuffed into a stateroom barely bigger than a closet. There's also Harpo and Chico wrecking havoc in the orchestra pit and onstage in the finale while Groucho makes sarcastic comments in the audience, and Groucho and Chico tearing apart Ricardo's contract before they can even agree to make it. Great performances across the boards, from the Marxes having an absolute blast to Jones and Carlisle being funnier than the lovers in most of their movies to the wonderfully hissable King. 

The Numbers: We open in Milan with a chorus number from the opera I Pagliacci, "Stridonu Lassu," which gives us a glimpse of what Rosa and Rodolfo do and why they're so popular. Our first number outside of the opera house is the ballad "Alone." Rosa sings it to Ricardo as the boat is leaving Milan. He picks it up on the docks, and the chorus joins in while Driftwood ducks out of paying his hotel bill and Tomasso hugs everyone on-deck. Driftwood belts "Sing Ho for the Open Highway" briefly while being hauled around on his trunk. 

The Italian peasants are singing the traditional Neapolitan song "Santa Lucia" when Ricardo, Tomasso, and Fiorello head on-deck for dinner. Ricardo is so delighted with their hospitality, he goes into the Brown-Freed dance number "Cosi-Cosa," which turns into an enormous chorus routine all around the deck. After the dance, Fiorello dips into the MGM vault for an instrumental "All I Do Is Dream of You" on the piano, while Tomasso reprises "Alone" and "Dream of You" on the harp. (His rendition of "Alone" is especially pretty.)

Tomasso and Fiorello get Il Trovodore off to a wacky start when they replace the overture with "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." It even includes them hitting a ball around and Driftwood selling peanuts in the audience. Gottlieb and Henderson try to catch Fiorello and Tomasso during "The Anvil Chorus," but they evade them. Driftwood has more fun tossing quips about the ancient old hag singing "Stride La Vampa." Laspari is performing "Di Quella Pira" when he's dragged backstage. Rosa and Ricardo replace him for the tragic "Miserere," which has her singing to him in prison. 

Trivia: According to Wikipedia, the movie originally began with a long number depicting the sights and sounds of everyday Milan workers before cutting to Mrs. Claypool at the restaurant. It was either cut in 1938 or during World War II to remove references to Italy and has since been lost.

What I Don't Like: It's been pointed out that the Marxes tend to work better with looser storylines that give them more room for anarchy. Their last two films had also de-emphasized the roles of the lovers. This one builds them back up again and adds musical numbers. The opera sequences in the beginning and end show what Rosa and Rodolfo do and give the Marxes a chance for gags. "Alone," on the other hand, is lovely but goes on for too long, and "Cosi Cosa" is fun but largely extraneous. 

The Big Finale: I'm going to agree with Groucho Marx himself and say this has long been my favorite Marx Brothers movie. It's probably the best place for newcomers to the Marxes' nutty world to start along with Duck Soup. 

Home Media: Easily found on all formats. The Blu-Ray is a Warner Archives release. 

DVD

Blu-Ray

Amazon Prime

Musicals On Streaming - Hollywood Stargirl

Disney, 2022

Starring Grace VanderWaal, Judy Greer, Elijah Richardson, and Tyrel Jackson Williams

Directed by Julia Hart

Music and Lyrics by various

Disney put a sequel into development almost immediately when they saw how well Stargirl did during the pandemic. Though author Jerry Spinnelli did write a sequel to the Stargirl book, Love, Stargirl, Disney opted to create their own story that followed what Stargirl and her mother did after they left Arizona. So, what did happen after the duo packed up and moved to Hollywood? Let's begin as they're leaving and find out...

The Story: Stargirl (VanderWaal) is thrilled when her mother Ana (Greer) gets a permanent job as the costume designer on a movie and settles them in a Los Angeles apartment building. She manages to befriend gruff old Mr. Mitchell (Judd Hirsch), a former producer who lives downstairs, and Roxanne Martel (Uma Thurman), whom she shares drinks with at table six in a local restaurant. Evan (Richardson) and his older brother Terrell (Williams) are so impressed when she sings at the bar, they ask her to star and write music for the movie they're hoping to make. After Stargirl tells Roxanne her song is one of her favorites, she encourages her to write her own, then records it. Stargirl is thrilled when Terrell gets a deal for his movie...but then Ana's movie shuts down production, and she may have to leave all over again.

The Song and Dance: First of all, kudos to Disney for trying an original story this time. VanderWaal and Greer are the stand-outs as the free-spirited teen who befriends everyone she meets and the mother who thinks she's living her dream, until it turns out to be a lot harder than she thought. Thurman also works well as the one-hit-wonder who sees a protege and a major talent in Stargirl. Gorgeous location shooting in the real Los Angeles and Hollywood is a major plus, giving us all the laid-back, candy-colored west coast hipness.

The Numbers: We open with "Just What I Needed," first performed by Stargirl, then in its original version by the Cars, as her mother drives them to California. "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac provides the backdrop for Stargirl's first time exploring her new neighborhood, including making a new friend on the bus. After the director on her mother's film is rude to her, she cheers herself up by playing "Make Your Own Kind of Music" at the apartment. A brother-sister duo perform a nasal "No Myth" before Stargirl gets up to the crowd and sings Brian Wilson's "Love and Mercy." We pick up briefly with the original "Love and Mercy" as Evan and Stargirl admire the view from the hills. 

Stargirl convinces Terrell to let her listen to Roxanne's only hit "Miracle Mile" on the cassette player in his car. Not only does she love it, but the boys are impressed, too. After Roxanne says they can't use "Miracle Mile" on their film, Stargirl writes "Figure It Out," which provides the backdrop for Terrell's initial filming on his phone camera. Roxanne and Stargirl create their own band and play Blondie's "Dreaming" at Roxanne's club. The movie ends with the kids finally making the movie they want to make as Stargirl wonders "Heaven Knows" how their story will end.

What I Don't Like: Stargirl way too easily charms away any conflict. The last ten minutes with her mother leaving comes the closest, but even that is too quickly solved after a long talk between mother and daughter. The director on Ana's movie is the only person who doesn't succumb to her quirks, and we see him for all of five minutes. I kind of wish she had to work a little harder to gain Mr. Mitchell and Roxanne's favor. I highly doubt a major studio would buy the kids' phone-filmed movie, either, which mainly seems to consist of them chasing each other and kissing, let alone offer a million dollars for it. 

The Big Finale: I liked the first movie slightly better, but both are worth checking out for fans of coming-of-age stories or unique teen romances.

Home Media: Same deal. It can be found pretty much everywhere on streaming but Disney Plus.

Amazon Prime

YouTube

Musicals On Streaming - O'Dessa

20th Century Fox/Searchlight Pictures/Hulu, 2025

Starring Sadie Sink, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Regina Hall, and Murray Bartlett

Directed by Geremy Jasper

Music by Geremy Jasper; Lyrics by Jason Binnick

Snow White isn't the only musical with a strong female protagonist the Disney Company released in the past week. This gender-flipped rock opera retelling of "Orpheus and Eurydice" set in a post-apocalyptic world got reviews that were nearly as bad, but is it really that horrible, or is it just different? Let's turn on the TV for a green scroll that tells us how this world came under the control of a mesmerizing man named Plutonovich (Bartlett) and the Seventh Son who will come from the mountains with their guitar and take him down and find out...

The Story: That "Seventh Son" is O'Dessa (Sink), the daughter of a wandering musician who left her nothing but a prized family guitar on his death. After the death of her mother, O'Dessa cuts her hair, wears man's clothes, and takes up in her father's footsteps as a traveling musician. She doesn't get far before a gang steals the guitar out from under her. Following them brings her to Satelyite City, one of the last outposts of civilization. Desperate to get the guitar back from a pawn shop, she joins a talent contest at a local bar. The only person who appreciates her bluesy style is Euri Dervish (Harrison), a nightclub singer she rescues from an overly-amorous patron. They spend the night together under the boardwalk and fall deeply in love. 

Euri tells her about Plutonovich, who uses all the plasma that's polluting the ground to power his addicting broadcasts, and inspires her to sing for pennies from the people. This does get her the guitar back, but not Euri. Turns out he has deals with Plutonovich's right-hand woman Neon Dion (Hall). After she kidnaps Euri during his wedding to O'Dessa, she follows them to Plutonovich's Onderworld lair to join his reality competition and prove once and for all the power of prophecy and true love.

The Song and Dance: The performances are the thing here. Sink does well by the tough, scrappy title character who truly believes Euri is her destiny, but the real stand-outs are the villains. Bartlett is so charismatic and bombastic as the dictator who uses the power of media to keep the people from rebelling, you can understand why they were all mesmerized. Hall does even better as the terrifying cross between Grace Jones and an especially angry pitbull, especially with those odd severe bangs. The grungy, junk-filled landscape outside of Satilyte City and the blue and neon world within it recall similar dystopia thrillers from the 80's like Streets of Fire and Blade Runner.

The Numbers: We open with the young O'Dessa performing "Under the Stars" for her mother. "Ramblin' Down the Road" shows the start of her journey after she leaves the dying farm. "Cursed Six Strings" is our first chorus number as she joins the group of thieves for a bite and a song. The rock-loving nightclub crowds fail to be moved by her "Ramblin' Blues." O'Dessa is proud to be "Feelin' Free" as she uses her makeshift guitar to sing for the people and earn money for the guitar and get closer to Euri in the second chorus number. Euri sings the darker "Johnny Fame," but is booed in the nightclub when he speaks out against Plutonovich. 

After she's attacked and Euri is hypnotized, they finally realize "Yer Tha One" and prepare to be wed with rings and tattoos. "Here Comes the Seventh Son" announces her intention to the world as she takes a neon boat to Plutonovich's lair. He's the commander of the "Onderworld" as we get our big chorus routines, complete with dancers in very skimpy costumes and a teen pop star in pink feathers wiggling behind him. When she finally gets onstage, O'Dessa pours her heart into "The Song (Love Is All)." She finally becomes that "Plasma Rose" who destroys Plutonovich and sends his lair ablaze. The girl she gave her hand-made guitar to carries on her legacy in the final reprise of "The Song." 

What I Don't Like: This isn't anything you haven't seen in movies set in similar hell scapes since the 1970's. It's basically a musical Hunger Games or Blade Runner. Like those movies, this is definitely style over substance. The story is weird, overly complicated, and ultimately kind of depressing, and the music isn't memorable enough to carry it. If you know anything about the original "Orpheus and Euridyce" myth, you're very aware that this isn't going to have a happy ending. It's also not for those looking for a more traditional or lighthearted romp. Like other movies in its genre, it gets into some very dark and rough territory that includes strong sci-fi violence, a few very brief sexual bits, scanty costumes, and heavy themes.

The Big Finale: This is not going to be for everyone, but if you're into other movies about dark futures or dystopian worlds, are a fan of rock or folk music, or just want to check out a darker take on a favorite myth, this is worth riding a neon boat for.

Home Media: Streaming only via Hulu and Disney Plus. 

Hulu

Disney Plus

Snow White (2025)

Disney, 2025

Starring Rachel Ziegler, Gail Godot, Andrew Burnap, and Jeremy Swift

Directed by Marc Webb

Music and Lyrics by various

I've been looking forward to this movie, if only to see what Disney would do with it. I have a mixed track record with Disney's remakes. There's a few I found to be genuinely enjoyable in their own right, but most were mediocre or added nothing to the original story. This one had strikes against it from the outset. It's remaking Disney's very first animated film, its female leads got into trouble for ragging on the film and firing off their political opinions before the movie's opening, and the depiction of the dwarfs as more cartoonish than the rest of the cast came under fire from real people with dwarfism. After all that, how does the actual movie come off? Let's begin, as so many Disney movies do, with a lavishly-decorated storybook...and a couple of forest animals...and find out...

The Story: Snow White (Ziegler) once lived happily in a prosperous mining and farming kingdom with her beloved parents. After her mother (Lorena Andrea) dies, her father the King (Hadley Fraser) marries a woman (Godot) who is outwardly gorgeous, but is in reality cold and cruel. She forces the farmers to become soldiers and locks Snow White in the castle. Snow White, however, remains kind and gentle no matter what. She even releases a thief (Burnap) who stole potatoes from the queen.

Incensed with that incident and with her Magic Mirror's (Patrick Page) insistence that Snow White is now fairer than she, the Queen orders her Huntsman (Ansu Kabia) to kill her. He can't do it and sends her into the woods instead. She ends up at the home of seven dwarfs who work in the nearby mines. They distrust her at first, but finally let her stay. Even after she leaves, she encounters Johnathan, the thief she released at the castle, who is the head of the bandits who are fighting in the king's name. Johnathan doesn't believe she can make things better, but Snow knows that the best way to fight evil is to work together...and prove that there's more to being "fair" and being a good ruler than looking pretty for a mirror.

The Song and Dance: For all of the fussing before this came out, I actually ended up enjoying it. At least, it's a lot better than I thought it would be from the reviews. Rachel Ziegler is simply luminous as Snow White, who manages to be both sweet, funny, and infinitely intelligent. She sings beautifully, performs well with the dwarfs, and even pulls off her final confrontation with Godot nicely. I actually like most of the changes to her character and think they work out pretty well, including her desire to follow in her father's footsteps and become a truly fair ruler. 

Though Johnathan is basically an imitation Flynn Rider from Tangled, he's also infinitely more interesting than the cardboard prince in the original film. The dwarfs have their funny moments too, especially after they meet Snow White and they're all bickering. And actually, my favorite moment from the film may have been Snow White teaching Dopey to whistle. The CGI works better here, making it all the sweeter when he finally gets the others' attention. Disney spared no expense on the production, either. The costumes and sets are gorgeous, nicely recreating a fairy tale Germany straight out of a Grimm Brothers' story. 

The Numbers: We open and close with "Good Things Grow," as the young Snow White (Emilia Faucher) and her parents make apple pies for the entire town and we see how everyone helps and depends on everyone else. Snow White thinks she's "Waiting On a Wish" as she sings to the wishing well on the castle grounds, and later after she frees Johnathan. "Heigh Ho/We Dig" is more elaborate here, as we see how the dwarfs mine the gems they collect under the ground before they march home. The Queen claims that "All Is Fair" to Snow White, and later to the townspeople...fair to her, that is. 

"Whistle While You Work" is moved from before the dwarfs arrive to the day after. This time, Snow White manages to get the dwarfs and animals working together to clean up their house in a charming tour-de-force. Johnathan sneers about Snow White's "Princess Problems," and how it's better to live for oneself than hold out for a hope that might not come. "The Silly Song" brings the dwarfs and bandits together for a night of revelry, but it's only heard briefly. Snow and Johnathan wonder what happens when "A Hand Meets a Hand," and people start to look out for one another. "Snow White Returns" in the finale, as the Queen rages that "All Is Fair" and the rest of the kingdom reprises "Good Things Grow."

What I Don't Like: This has the opposite problem from the original film. Now Snow White and her love interest are the interesting characters, and the Queen is the dull one. Godot is neither much of a singer, nor has the required menace to really carry off her role. She comes off as a silly comic book villain, too noble of a warrior to be truly wicked. And yes, the CGI dwarfs do frequently fall into uncanny valley, especially during action sequences or when they're all talking at once. It can be more frightening than funny at times. There's also the waffling on whether the king is dead or not, and the feeling that they just snitched some ideas from the darker live-action Snow White and the Huntsman from 2012 (like Snow White joining bandits and searching for her father) and filtered them through Disney's rosy lens.

The Big Finale: Though not mirror-perfect, this movie does have a lot of fun points, not the least being spot-on performances by Ziegler and Burnap and some great new songs. It's different enough from its predecessor for me to recommend catching it in the theaters with your favorite little princess or bandit, especially if they're already a Disney fan.

Home Media: The soundtrack can currently be found on Amazon Streaming; the physical version won't be out until May 9th. No word yet on when the movie will be on Disney Plus or physical media. 

Amazon Music Streaming

Musicals On Streaming - Stargirl

Disney, 2020

Starring Grace VanderWaal, Graham Verchere, Karan Brar, and Darby Stanchfield

Directed by Julia Hart

Music and Lyrics by various

After those two less-than-terrific spring break trips, let's jump to Arizona for a coming-of-age story that has real charm. The young adult novel Stargirl by Jerry Spinetti debuted in 2000. The book's positive and individual protagonist hit such a deep chord, students in Ohio created a Stargirl Society to promote its views. Disney initially optioned the book back in 2015, but they didn't get it out until 2020. How well do they do with the story of a boy who learns about life, love, and being yourself from one very unique young woman? Let's begin with Leo Borlock (Verchere) in his younger years after his father's death, as he and his mother Gloria (Stanchfield) move to Mica, Arizona and find out...

The Story: After Leo is bullied over the porcupine tie his father gave him the first day of school, he becomes determined to be just like anyone else and hide who he is. Someone, however, sends him porcupine ties every year on his birthday. He's still baffled about the gifts in high school when he's playing trumpet in the marching band and helping his friend Kevin (Brar) with his TV show Hot Seat.  He's not the only one trying to hide his personality. Mica High School has never excelled at anything. The football team loses every year, and Kevin always wins the speaking contest.

Enter Stargirl Caraway (VanderWaal), a capricious newcomer who spent most of her life being homeschooled. She wears bright vintage clothing and comes to school with her ukulele and a positive attitude, playing "Happy Birthday" for kids she doesn't even know. Leo is charmed by her, especially after his older paleontologist friend Archie (Giancarlo Esposito) tells him more about her. The rest of the school is wary at first, until she plays her ukulele at a football game and the team actually wins. She becomes the most popular girl at school after that and a good-luck charm for the team. She and Leo even become a couple. 

Her success is short-lived after she goes to the hospital with an injured member of the opposing side during the big championship game. Now all of the kids shun her, and an appearance on Kevin's Hot Seat show only makes things worse. Leo suggests that she act and dress like everyone else. Stargirl tries, but she can't stop being who she is. It takes a special gift and a reminder of his father for Leo to finally understand why Stargirl acts like she does, and why it's so important to be yourself, even if others don't love you for it.

The Song and Dance: What a sweet movie! I'm glad Disney finally got to making this. The kids were a delight, with VanderWaal the stand-out as the upbeat girl who teaches everyone around her that it's not so bad to be one of a kind. There's some gorgeous desert vistas too, filmed in New Mexico. I also appreciate the message of non-conformity, kindness, and sharing one's grief. 

The Numbers: We open with school band practice and our first view of Mica High. Our first real view of Stargirl is of her playing "Happy Birthday" on her ukulele for Leo in the school cafeteria. She definitely gets more of a response than the school band at the football game playing "Be True to Your School" for the crowd. They get so jazzed, the football team plays better. "We Got the Beat" is the first full-on chorus number, as Stargirl joins the cheer squad and the cheerleaders tailor their routine to her moves. 

"Thirteen" by Big Star provides a backdrop for the montage of Stargirl and Leo getting closer and the football team's continued success. "Be True to Your School" gets a chorus reprise for Stargirl and the cheerleaders at the championship game, while Stargirl and Leo do their own version of "Thirteen" at her house afterwards. "I Just Wanna Dance" is the first number as Leo enters the Winter Dance. Stargirl finally convinces him to sing his version of the Cars' "Just What I Needed" in front of the whole school. Stargirl and the kids get so into it, they lead a conga line right out of the school and into rare desert snow. She sings the George Harrison hit "Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth)" and her own "Today and Tomorrow" over the credits.

What I Don't Like: First of all, from what I gathered, there were a lot of changes from the book. Stargirl stayed in Mica for a year, not a few months, and apparently had even quirkier and more disruptive behavior. It was a basketball game where she comforted the injured player, not football, and she had a girlfriend named Dori along with Leo. It's a barbecue,  not a dance, that the kids attend in the end, and Stargirl insists on all of them doing the Bunny Hop rather than Leo singing "Just What I Needed." Stargirl and Leo's fathers were living; Leo got the original porcupine tie from his uncle. Hillari Kimble was even meaner, and she wasn't related to the boy who had the bike accident.

Second, this is a mass of goofy cliches that runs out of steam a bit in the second half, when the kids start shunning Stargirl and that quirkiness wears out its welcome a bit. The magic Artie talks about is never heavily explored and sometimes seems a bit forced. Many people who read the book complained about the story being watered down, and that maybe Stargirl could have done things that were stranger than singing a Beach Boys number or two.

The Big Finale: I'll be honest, I never read the book. I was in college when it came out. I do know the movie version is a sweet look at a relationship between a boy who lost himself and a girl who knows who she is...and how to make others want to find themselves, too. Highly recommended for teens who are also navigating how to stay true to themselves at school and home and those looking for a unique romance.

Home Media: Surprisingly, it was pulled from Disney Plus back in 2023, despite being made for that platform. It can still be found elsewhere on streaming, including Amazon and YouTube.

Amazon Prime

YouTube

Cult Flops - From Justin to Kelly

20th Century Fox, 2003

Starring Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Katherine Bailess, and Anika Noni Rose

Directed by Robert Iscove

Music and Lyrics by various

Our next spring break musical is one of the most notorious of the past 20 years. American Idol is a talent show that focuses on finding the next great singing star. The US version began in 2002 and with its ability to let the audience vote on their favorites, was an instant sensation. Clarkson and Guarini were the first winner and runner up, and they became overnight celebrities, singing and giving interviews pretty much everywhere on TV and the internet. 

They were among the most recognizable faces on the planet by the time Fox released this in June 2003. Fox wanted to strike while the iron was hot and insisted this be filmed and released in two and a half months. Audiences in 2003 saw it for the rush job it was, and it wound up being one of the biggest flops of the year. Is it really that horrible, or were audiences and critics right? Let's begin in a Texas bar as Kelly Taylor (Clarkson) sings for the few barflies there and find out...

The Story: Kelly's girlfriends Alexa (Bailess) and Kaya (Rose) talk her into spending spring break in Miami, Florida, despite Kelly considering spring break rituals to be degrading. On their first day, she runs into Justin Bell (Guardini), a party planner who owns a local business with his buddies Brandon (Greg Siff) and Eddie (Brian Dietzen). They fall in love at first sight, but have a hard time finding each other at first. Even after they finally meet again, Alexa decides she wants Justin for herself and does everything she can to split up the pair, Meanwhile, geeky Eddie spends his vacation searching for his Internet girlfriend, Brandon dodges a cop (Theresa San-Nicholas) who keeps giving him tickets for all his dubious money-making schemes, and Kaya pursues the handsome waiter Carlos (Jason Yribar).

The Song and Dance: Well, there is some pretty scenery in Florida. The cinematography isn't bad for the short filming time they had. Rose by far stands out as Kelly's nicer buddy, to the point where you can understand why she'd move on to the infinitely better Dreamgirls and The Princess and the Frog a few years later. 

The Numbers: We open with Kelly singing "I Won't Stand In Line" to unimpressed bar patrons in Texas. The first chorus number is "The Luv (Bounce)," as the girls arrive on the beach and encounter Justin for the first time and some truly awful dancing. "Brandon's Rap" is his attempt to explain to Eddie how to find girls, and how he plans on getting a few himself. Tap master Savion Glover does a brief but nifty routine to the instrumental "Boom Boom Boom." Justin and Kelly pick up with the duet "Forever Part of Me" as they search for each other in the crowd at the party. 

Kaya and Carlos claim "It's Meant to Be" when they have fun together dancing at a salsa club. Justin and Kelly have a second ballad, "Timeless," as he takes her boating in the back bays. Alexa gets her own dance routine with the boys, claiming that all she needs to do is "Wish Upon a Star" to get what she wants. Fed up with their men, Kaya and Kelly go to a party in wild, colorful outfits. After all, falling in love is "Madness." Kelly wishes Justin would give her love "Anytime" after Alexa explains why she went after him. They reprise it when Alexa finally brings them back together. The film ends with the entire cast singing and dancing to "That's the Way I Like It" at one last party.

Trivia: Clarkson and Guardini realized from the start how bad the script was. Clarkson wanted out, but the film was part of their contracts with American Idol. 

There was supposed to have been a soundtrack, but it was canceled when the film became a notorious flop. 

The DVD features two additional musical numbers, "Brighter Star" and "From Me to You."

What I Don't Like: Good grief. Not a single other thing works. Rose is the only one who shows an ounce of charisma. Clarkson later became a decent host on TV and Guardini has since done stage work (including on Broadway), but they can't act and have all the chemistry of two wet noodles here. The choreography is useless, the dialogue is ridiculous, the original music dull, and the plot silly piffle. They never did figure out what to do with Clarkson's character. One minute, she's a staunch feminist who calls spring break and whipped cream bikini contests degrading. The next, she's falling into Justin's arms and chasing every guy around. 

The side plots exist to pad the run time, not because they're fun to watch or work with the main story. Carlos had every right to be angry after Kaya caused him to lose his job and shouldn't have apologized. Eddie is an obnoxious and dated geek stereotype and is so unfunny, you stop caring whether he finds his girlfriend or not after the first few minutes. The running gag with Brandon and the cop is literally and figuratively run into the ground. 

Alexa's desire to win Justin for herself comes out of nowhere. She, Kaya, and Kelly are buddy-buddy for the first ten-fifteen minutes of the movie, and then suddenly, she decides she wants Justin. Her explanation as to why later on is so flat-out stupid, I can't believe Kelly bought it. Not to mention, it explains things about Kelly that we don't see. The movie keeps going on about how funny and wonderful Kelly in particular is, but all of the lead characters are so grating and annoying, I wouldn't want to be in their presence for five minutes, let alone an entire two-week spring break.

The Big Finale: This is one bad movie that lives up to the hype and then some. I wouldn't touch this with a hundred-foot pole unless you're a really huge fan of Clarkson, Guardini, American Idol, or remember the brief time in 2002-2003 when they were two of the biggest music stars on the planet. 

Home Media: Easily found on DVD and streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

The Girls On the Beach

Paramount, 1965

Starring Noreen Corcoran, Linda Marshall, Ahana Capri, and Steve Rogers

Directed by William Witney 

Music and Lyrics by various

We're going on Spring Break this week with our first two reviews. Paramount jumped onto the Beach Party bandwagon with their first of two teen musicals released in 1965. This is the one that came out first, and the one that owes more to Beatlemania and cartoon gags than the beach. Although the Beatles were wildly popular, they were hardly the only band around in the mid-60's. The Beach Boys had been pumping out surf-rock hits since 1962. Given they were the preeminent surf-rock band of the time, it was probably inevitable that they'd turn up in one of these movies. How well do they and two of their biggest hits work in this tale of a sorority who desperately try to earn the money to save their frat house? Let's begin with the title song over views of, well, girls on the beach and find out...

The Story: The ladies of Alpha Beta are all ready for fun in the sun on their spring break when they learn that they owe the bank $10,000 for their sorority house. They think they have the money, but their kindly house mother gave it to every person in need she ever came across. Desperate to keep their house and their housemother out of trouble, sorority president Selma (Corcoran) comes up with a variety of different schemes to earn money in a week, from entering a cake recipe contest to their prettiest member Patricia (Lori Saunders) joining a beauty pageant. 

Their biggest idea is turning their after-Easter dance into a concert and inviting big-name talent. Three boys who are smitten with Selma and her friends claim they know the Beatles and can get them to appear. The girls are thrilled, but the boys have no intention of doing anything but running out...until they see what a big deal everyone makes of the Beatles being in their show. The girls, however, are the ones who end up having to cover when it turns out that the boys might have fibbed slightly.

The Song and Dance: The girls on the beach may not spend much time on the beach, but I do like how the focus is on them. Their schemes and ideas to earn money are what drives the film, and they're all pretty funny, from the constantly-changing cake to what they convince Patricia to do for the talent portion of the pageant (and how she ends up making use of it later). Of the Beach Party imitations, only Get Yourself a College Girl puts as much emphasis on its female characters. I also like that it's more about their relationships and the one with their sorority than with the guys. Some great music too, including two big hits from the Beach Boys, the title song and "Little Honda." 

The Numbers: We open with the Beach Boys performing the title ballad over the credits (though it doesn't really work with the girls running around on the sand), and then for college students at a local hangout. The Crickets give us a weirdly re-written "La Bamba" as our first chorus number and we meet the Alpha Beta members. Alpha Beta member Lesley Gore performs "Let Me Alone" to an attentive young man at the first sorority party. I don't know why the boys came down on one of the Beach Boys' prettiest ballads, "Lonely Sea," which they perform at an outdoor party at night. 

"Little Honda" provides the backdrop for another dance routine as the college kids finish the party at their hangout, right before the boys claim they know the Beatles. Patricia may be embarrassed about her "Dance of the Seven Veils," but the judges sure like it...and so do the concert-goers near the end of the movie. The girls really get into Gore's "It's Gotta Be You" at the sorority house, right before the three guys come down dressed as women. Gore does even better with "I Don't Want to Be a Loser" at the concert. The girls regret having told the Sigma Fi freshman pledges to get a lock of the Beatles' hair as an initiation when they imitated the Beatles and perform "We Want to Marry a Beatle." They later pacify the crowd by reprising it as themselves.

What I Don't Like: First of all, the boys were not only jerks for lying and almost letting the girls hold the bag, they were interchangeable. I don't know how the girls could tell them apart. None of them were remotely interesting. Sometimes, the girls could be pretty interchangeable, too. Any girl who didn't take part in a side plot, like the cake contest or the beauty pageant, were almost as dull. And I have to agree with a reviewer who pointed out how ridiculous it is for everyone to be fussing over the Beatles when they have two other major acts of the era, the Beach Boys and Lesley Gore, right there. (In fact, this would ironically be the Beach Boys' only appearance in a Beach Party movie.)

The Big Finale: Harmless hour and a half worth of fun for nostalgic Baby Boomers and classic rock fans.

Home Media: One of the more obscure Beach Party imitations, this can currently only be found on YouTube.

YouTube

Happy St. Patrick's Day! - Riverdance: The Animated Adventure

Netflix, 2021

Voices of Pierce Bronsnan, Sam Hardy, Hannah Herman Cortes, and Lilly Singh

Directed by Dave Rosenbaum and Eamonn Butler

Music and Lyrics by Bill Whelan

Let's celebrate St. Patrick's Day with one of the most Irish of all shows. Riverdance began as an Irish dance routine performed between acts at the Eurovision Song Contest. After it got a standing ovation there, it was expanded into a full-length evening of Irish step dance and song. It toured the world in the late 90's and became a sensation, reviving interest in Irish culture and dance. It even played Broadway in 2000. The CD featuring the music topped the chart in Ireland. 

The show was revived for its 25th anniversary in 2020 and did well enough to inspire this animated film. How well does it represent the show? Let's begin with a hand-drawn animated sequence that introduces Keegan (Hardy), his lighthouse keeper grandfather (Bronsnan), and the legend of the Megolocerous Giganteus and find out...

The Story: Keegan is so devastated when his grandfather dies, he can't bring himself to be the DJ for the town's St. Patrick's Day party or even to turn the light on in the lighthouse. This is a grave mistake. The light keeps the Huntsman (Brendan Gleeson) at bay. He hunts the spirit of the Megolocerous, cutting off their horns and letting the river bed dry. The magical deer with their enormous golden horns dance to keep the river flowing. Keegan's Spanish friend Moya (Cortes) teaches her about his Irish heritage and why the deer's dance is so important, while Keegan encourages big Benny (Jermaine Fowler) to try his best in the big hurling game and Moya shows clumsy Penny (Singh) how to find her own dance style.

 The Animation: Just as much of a mish-mash as the story. The elk look almost regal, with those enormous majestic horns, but everything around them is done in a more cartoony style. The two don't always blend well, making the elk look silly when they should look commanding, and trying to make the kids look commanding when they're more rubbery. The backgrounds are better, including the river that does flow realistically. There are some nice sequences, including the dance routine in the rain after the funeral, but most of the numbers just aren't integrated that well (including the funeral number).

The Song and Dance: Given what this is based on, "dance" is the operative word here. They do manage to recreate the energy and vivaciousness of the Irish step dance and Moya's flamenco rather well. The two kids have a lot of fun as the ones caught up in the action, and Bronsnan is appropriately warm as Keegan's beloved grandfather and regal as Patrick, the head of the elk. 

The Numbers: We kick off with a brief shot of what Granddad and Keegan can do at the lighthouse before launching into our first full number. Moya and the chorus sing "Light In the Wings" before the townspeople do our first major dance routine, looking more than a little odd performing a vivacious step routine in all-black at a funeral. We even get some nifty overhead shots at one point. After they're washed down the river in a storm, Moya shows Keegan how she's able to glide and dance on the water like a mystical creature. 

Our first shot of the deer shows them doing a complex Irish step dance in perfect unison, giving us actual Irish step dancing and a good idea of what an animated version of a real Riverdance show would look like. Patrick gets the intricate solo, but Penny falls out of formation. Moya tries to teach Penny flamenco, but it doesn't go well at first. When Keegan closes his eyes, we return to the opening hand-drawn sequence as he imagines his grandfather dancing in his puppet theater and everything he's seen in the river. 

After the Huntsman takes Patrick's antlers, the deer and Moya bring small lights. Penny does a lovely slow flamenco routine with hers, showing that the passionate Latin dance is no less beautiful and intricate than the Irish step ones. The film ends with Keegan happily playing DJ for the town party while Moya shows off her Irish and flamenco moves and everyone else celebrates the return of the river and the light.

What I Don't Like: This is cliched to the hilt. You don't really get to know either of the kids very well before they encounter the deer, and they could do more with Keegan's grief before his great adventure. Singh and especially Fowler are out-of-place as annoying comic relief characters, their obvious American accents grating and sticking out like a sore thumb among the real Irish actors in the cast. The hurling sequence goes on for way too long and doesn't really have much to do with the rest of the movie. Some body function jokes are mainly there for the kid audience and seem a bit out of place as well, and the side plots with the frogs and the sheep mainly serve to pad the film's running time.

The Big Finale: If you want to introduce your kids to Riverdance, you're better off looking up the concerts on video or DVD. They'll get far more of an appreciation for Irish dance and culture than they would from this so-so movie. 

Home Media: This is a Netflix exclusive in the US. 

Netflix

The Firefly

MGM, 1937

Starring Jeanette MacDonald, Allan Jones, Warren William, and Douglass Dumbrille

Directed by Robert Z. Leonard

Music and Lyrics by various

Our other movie diva of the 30's wouldn't star in live opera until late in her career...but her screen vehicles were vastly more entertaining. By the time MacDonald made her first solo vehicle at MGM in 1937 apart from Nelson Eddy, she was one of the top stars in the world. Hoping for a change of pace, she convinced studio head Louis B. Mayer to cast her in this action-oriented operetta and star Allan Jones, who had been a success in two Marx Brothers movies, opposite her. Was she right about that, or should this be left in a dungeon? Let's begin in Madrid, as the people of Spain eagerly welcome their king Ferdinand VII (Tom Rutherford) and his officers discuss the trouble they're having in the Peninsular War with France and England and find out...

The Story: Singer Nina Maria Azara (MacDonald) is really a spy for Ferdinand who gets information from the French soldiers who court her. She flirts with soldier Don Diego (Jones)...who is actually the French spy Captain Andre. He follows her to Vitoria, where he charms her with music and a pretend trip to Venice. For all his romantic notions, she still insists he wait for her in Madrid. Her real destination is Bayonne, where she awaits carrier pigeons carrying information on the meeting there between Ferdinand and Napoleon of France. Though she's able to avoid being caught spying, she's also devastated when the French Chief of Espionage (George Zucco) reveals Andre's real identity.

After Napoleon annexes the throne from Ferdinand, his assistant Rouchemont (William) finds her dancing among gypsies and entertaining French soldiers. She claims she was turned away by the Spanish, but Rouchemont finds papers in her jacket revealing a map for the French lines and a code. Not only does Nina still have one or two more tricks up her sleeve, but Andre hasn't forgotten her. Not even the Battle of Vitoria that finally broke the French military line can separate these lovers, and Nina will find her way back to Andre no matter what.

The Song and Dance: Now I wish MacDonald did more action movies. She does very well as the spy who is willing to seduce any man for her country, until she falls for Andre and has second thoughts. Her voice mostly sounds gorgeous in her numbers, especially when entertaining the troops, and her dancing is incredible - check out that last high kick during the gypsy number! As complicated as the story is, at least it's also pretty original. You're not going to run into too many other musicals revolving around spies falling for each other during the Napoleonic Wars. MGM's unstinting production includes hundreds of extras in the fight scenes and impressive empire-waisted sequined gowns and ruffled bonnets for MacDonald. 

The Numbers: Our first numbers are "Danse Jeanette" and "Love Is Like a Firefly," which Nina performs for the French troops in a cafe. Don Diego is more interested in "A Woman's Kiss." "The Donkey Serenade" wound up being the hit of the film, and it gets the movie's best number, too. The driver and his son on Nina's stagecoach play the number, and Andre rides alongside, singing along. Nina tries not to show her interest, but she's genuinely amused. He sings "Giannina Mia" to Nina as they imagine what it would be like to stroll the canals in Venice. The saucy ballad "He Who Loves and Runs Away" is another number for Nina to sing before the French troops, this time including Rouchemont. 

She admits to sharing "Sympathy" with Andre when she explains how her parents were killed by the Spanish. "When a Maid Comes a Knocking at Your Heart" is her song at Rochemont's chateau for his guests. We then get an "English March" performed by the chorus as the Spanish are forced to accept Napoleon as their king. Actual Spanish folk song "Capriccio Espagnol" provides the instrumental background for Nina's big dance routine with the gypsies, including that high kick. She admits "I Love You Don Diego" as he leaves for battle; "Para la Salud" covers the actual fighting. The movie ends with the lovers riding off into the dusty Spanish plains as they reprise "Giannina Mia" and "The Donkey Serenade."

Trivia: The Firefly debuted on Broadway in 1912 as a vehicle for Emma Trentini, a popular Italian opera singer of the time. It was the first operetta for composer Rudolf Friml, who would continue writing romantic operettas into the 1930's. The original version still occasionally turns up on opera and light opera stages, usually adding "The Donkey Serenade." 

"The Donkey Serenade" was written by Bob Wright, Chet Forest, and Herbert Stothart, but it was based on the instrumental Friml composition "Chanson." 

What I Don't Like: First of all, while I give credit to MGM for originality, the overlong and ridiculously complicated plot they came up with has nothing to do with the 1912 Firefly. The Broadway show revolved around an Italian street singer who passed herself off as a boy in order to follow the young man she has a crush on to Bermuda and eventually became an opera singer. The movie runs way too long at over two hours. The sequences with Nina at Rochemont's home especially drag and probably could have been trimmed. 

Second, Allan Jones may have done well chasing the Marx Brothers around opera stages and the races, but he's at sea and out of his depth in an epic operetta. Other than "The Donkey Serenade" sequence, he lacks MacDonald's sparkle and looks completely out of place. Neither he nor MacDonald are terribly believable as Spanish and French spies during the early 1800's, either. 

The Big Finale: Mainly for fans of MacDonald, Jones, or the lavish film operettas of the 1930's. 

Home Media: Easily available on a remastered Warner Archives DVD and on streaming.

DVD

Amazon Prime

One Night of Love

Columbia Pictures, 1934

Starring Grace Moore, Tulio Carminati, Lyle Talbot, and Mona Barrie

Directed by Victor Schertzinger

Music and Lyrics by various

This week, we dive into the rarefied world of opera and operetta and get to know two silver-screen divas in our weekday entries. Metropolitan opera and Broadway star Grace Moore originally entered films in 1930, but the two operettas she made for MGM were not successes. She went back to the Met, waiting for MGM to come up with the right vehicle for her. She was considered for the first sound version of The Merry Widow before the lead role went to Jeanette MacDonald. Columbia was just starting to push itself beyond B-films at this point and was shopping around for a big star to headline its musicals. How well does Moore's first Columbia movie come off today? Let's begin in New York City as Mary Barrett (Moore) sings for her family and find out...

The Story: Mary goes to Milan to study voice over her family's objections after she loses a radio contest. She gets a job at the Cafe Roma, where she first encounters voice coach Guilio Monteverdi (Carminati). He's so impressed, he takes her on as a student right there...provided she has no problems with him having total control over her life. Mary has no objections to this at first, especially after he helps her get over a nasty bout with stage fright at her first shows. 

As the years pass and she becomes more popular, she grows tired of his constant need to dominate everything about her. After Lally (Barrie), one of Guilio's former students, flirts with him, Mary gets jealous, accepts a marriage proposal from her friend Bill Houston (Talbot), and refuses to sing that night. Giulio first threatens to replace her with Lally, then proposes to her. That gets her onstage, but she gets fed up again when he advises her against taking a role at New York's Metropolitan Opera. He claims she's not ready, but she's dreamed of playing the Met for years...and then Lally says she's still involved with Guilio...

The Song and Dance: Moore is the main reason to see this today. She has a remarkable naturalness about her for an opera diva, a kind of girl-next-door down-home persona under the diva's temperament. It makes you understand why her movies were so popular in the mid-30's, and why Columbia was willing to take a chance on her. They surround her with a decent production, including the big Carmen and Madama Butterfly segments and some decent gowns. Lyle Talbot is the only actor who comes close to her as the wisecracking millionaire who thinks Mary is just swell and wants to marry her.

The Numbers: We open with Moore trilling the title number for the radio contest she fails to win. She's joined by the folks from Cafe Roma for "The Sextet" from Lucia di Lammermoor. "Ciribiribin" is the vivacious solo at the cafe that convinces Guilio to take her on as his student. She's having so much fun, the cafe patrons eventually join in. We get two numbers from La Traviata at the show where she gets stage fright, "Sempre Libera" and "Ah! fors e lui." She and Guilio rehearse the old folk song "The Last Rose of Summer." The "Habernera" aria from Carmen is what finally gets her into the Met. She has less luck with the famous (and famously difficult) "Un Bel Di" solo from Madama Butterfly in the finale. 

Trivia: First movie to win an Oscar for Best Score. Moore would also be nominated for Best Actress.

What I Don't Like: Pretty much everything else. The story is silly and boring. The rest of the cast doesn't get anywhere near Moore or Talbot, and Talbot doesn't really have that much to play. Carminati is so dull and plain that you can't understand why his two female pupils are fighting over him, and Barrie is more shrill than threatening. Other than that huge recreation of the Met that apparently took up most of the Columbia soundstage, the sets are even more boring, without a drop of Italian flavor other than some real Italian character actors.

The Big Finale: At press time, this is Grace Moore's only vehicle that can be easily found online, making it pretty much your only option if you're a fan of her or opera in general.

Home Media: As I said, this is currently Moore's only vehicle that can be found easily online. In fact, streaming is your best bet. None of her films are legitimately on DVD or Blu-Ray at press time. 

Amazon Prime

YouTube

Musicals On Streaming - Charming (2018)

Netflix, 2018

Voices of Demi Lovato, Wilmer Valderrama, Jim Cummings, and Nia Vardalos

Directed by Ross Venokur

Music and Lyrics by various

This was not the first time Vanguard Animation dipped into the fairy tale parody well. Their second production after their debut was Happily N' Ever After from 2006, a spoof of fairy tale conventions that was a huge flop with critics and at the box office. That movie's failure didn't stop them from returning to the fantasy well almost a decade later. This time, they've traded imitating the Shrek films for imitating Disney and their female-oriented action musicals. How does the story of a Prince Charming who can charm anyone but a certain female thief look now? Let's begin with a narrator explaining why Prince Phillipe (Valderrama) is in big trouble and find out...

The Story: Prince Phillipe was cursed with charm as a child by the wicked sorceress Nemeny Neverwish (Vardalos). He attracts every woman who sees him...until his 21st birthday, when all love will vanish from the kingdom. King Charming (Cummings) gets very fed up with his son after he's engaged to Snow White (Avril Lavigne), Cinderella (Ashley Tisdale), and Sleeping Beauty (G.E.M) and forces him to go on the Gauntlet. This terrifying quest up to Fire Mountain will show his son what it's like to be truly brave and help him decide who his true love is once and for all.

Phillipe is joined by what he thinks is his guide Lenny. Her name is really Lenore Quinonez (Lovato), a sly thief who has agreed to lead the prince up the mountain in exchange for money after she's caught robbing the princesses. Phillipe has already fallen for Lenore when she's the first woman who doesn't automatically grovel at his feet, but she's not as impressed with him. He can't do much more than be a cute guy, though he does manage to rescue her from the enormous chief of an Amazon tribe (Tara Strong). Lenore's now thinking he might be her true love, but Nemeny isn't about to let her break that curse. It'll take a "leap of faith" for the two to finally prove that there's a lot more to true love than falling for a pretty face.

The Animation: Vanguard's trademark angular designs are front and center here. That works on characters like Prince Phillipe and Leonore who are supposed to be all arms and legs. It's not so great for others. The princesses look less pretty and rounded and more like all sharp angles. Don't get me started on the dated and ridiculous designs of the Amazon tribe, though the Half-Oracle and her number do come off a bit better. There's even some nifty special effects there. 

The Song and Dance: The cast is the thing here. Lovato gives Leonore a certain strength that makes it even harder to digest when her character gets a lot interesting in the second half, after she falls for Phillipe. Tisdale, G.E.M, and Lavigne are hilarious as the three jilted fiancees, especially Lavigne as traumatized Snow White. Cummings gives the king a great deal of gravity as well. Sia also does well in her brief role as the Half-Oracle, who has by far the most memorable segment in a trippy number where she explains how Phillipe could be Leonore's true love. And as annoying as Phillipe can be, at least he's also a genuinely nice guy who really does want to do what's right for the ladies chasing him and his kingdom.

The Numbers: The movie opens with the three princesses telling us about their "Trophy Boy" in a montage depicting him being chased by every woman in the kingdom. "Not Changing" covers Leonore and her cardinal friend escaping the guards with their stolen treasure and fleeing into town. "Balladino" is the Half-Oracle's dreamy, memorably weird number as she shows Lenore who her true love is, and why it's important she find him. Lenore dreams of how "Magical" it'll be to sing and dance with Phillipe in a dream sequence right before their botched date at the inn. Leonore says she'll "Soar" after Phillipe announces what he intends to do to eliminate the curse. We briefly get "Somebody to You" over the montage of Phillipe and Leonore's wedding and honeymoon before the title song plays over the credits. 

What I Don't Like: This fairy-tale satire is about fifteen years out of date...and the badly and annoyingly stereotyped Amazon-type native tribe has been out of date for at least sixty. Lenore and the princesses are supposed to be the ones in the wrong for either submitting too quick to Phillipe's charm, or not submitting at all. Phillipe is such an idiot, though, that you end up feeling sorry for the princesses instead. They're all pretty likable, if rather shallow. I have no idea how Phillipe doesn't see through Leonore's ridiculous male disguise. She's about as male as the princesses. 

Lenore is a far more interesting character in the start, when she's more annoyed with Phillipe and how useless he is. I wish she could have resisted him a lot longer. Even later, she shouldn't have had to give up what she was for him so quickly. Phillipe isn't so much charming as he is a spoiled daddy's boy who gets by on everyone doing everything for him. He may be nice, but he's so witless and annoying, you wish Leonore would have pushed him harder into gaining a little backbone. 

The Big Finale: Vanguard's second attempt at a fairy tale spoof has all the charm of curdled wedding cake icing and is only slightly better than the awful Happily N'Ever After. Only if you're a really, really huge fan of the cast or Shrek-eque fairy tale satire.

Home Media: This is currently a Netflix exclusive. 

Netflix